


Lamb to Slaughter

by AdriannaXVI



Series: Wolf in "Lambs" Clothing [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben loves Rey, Dark Ben Solo, Dark Kylo Ren, Dark Reylo, Domestic Violence, F/M, Mental Instability, Modern AU, Obsession, Obsessive Love, Only Ben, POV Ben Solo, POV Rey (Star Wars), Past Child Abuse, Past Child Rape, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Psychopaths In Love, Rape, Serial Killers, Serial Rapist, Sexual Assault, Slow Burn, Smut, There is no Kylo, dark fic plus fluff, how dare I do this to Ben, i'm sorry mom, stalker ben solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-07-13 17:07:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 97,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16022258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdriannaXVI/pseuds/AdriannaXVI
Summary: Ben knew she would be his. Not like the others he had taken. Rey was different. She was perfect, unlike the countless other women he passed day in and day out. Ones he had taken, others he had not noticed... they were nothing compared to her... his little lamb...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my twisted little world!  
> This is my first story on AO3 so I'm quite nervous! But, here I am taking the plunge!  
> This idea wasn't BEN SOLO/ REY at first but it had the potential. I'm currently posting the same story on my Wattpad. Under the same title and all that but, it's with my original characters and not Ben and Rey. My main character was modeled after Adam Driver and in the end it seemed right to turn it into a fanfic. So why the hell not?  
> I hope to update once a week since I already have a hefty amount of chapters written!  
> I hope you enjoy!

**Lamb to Slaughter**

\--

Chapter One -

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

I hold on to Rose’s arm while she drags me through the crowd. I try to keep up with her and wish I hadn’t worn heels. She finally stops in the middle of the mob and begins dancing. She throws her hands around my neck and we move to the music. After a few songs, I leave her side and head to the makeshift bar. I look around at all the different bottles and bowls of mysterious alcohol laced punch. I shut my eyes and moment and when I open them there’s a solo cup in front of my face. And the person holding that cup... He’s tall... unspeakably tall with shaggy black hair and a nose maybe slightly too big for his face. But... handsome; very handsome. Glasses are perched on his face and his lips... oh fuck his lips are kissable. He smiles and I quickly take the cup.

“Thanks!”

“No problem. You seemed to be having an internal crisis.”

“You know it...” I say. “...too many choices.” I watch as he lifts a bottle of beer.

“Cheers.” he says. And he takes a swig. I take a sip of the drink he gave me and nod my head.

“It’s delicious!” he nods then looks away from me a moment and off into the crowd. I take another drink from the red cup and lick my lips as I watch him. There’s something familiar about him... “Do you come to parties often?” I ask. He turns back to me and shrugs his shoulders.

“Sometimes. Why?”

“You seem familiar.” his eyes widen a moment then he smiles.

“I have one of those faces.” he says.

“No you don’t.” I say as I take the last drink from my cup.

“Okay, I don’t.” he admits. “But we’ve never met.”

“No we haven’t.” I walk closer to him and put out my hand. “I’m Rey.” I say. He gently takes my hand and we shake.

“Hello Rey, I’m Ben.”

“Nice to meet you.” I say with a laugh.

“Nice to finally meet you.” I pause a moment at his word choice then brush it off. “What did you give me?” I ask; nodding my head towards the table.

“Oh.” he takes my cup and fills it with the punch in the clear bowl. He hands it back to me and I thank him.

“Cool. Well, I’ll see you around.” and I walk away.

Once I get back to Rose I turn around and see he’s still at the beverage table and... staring at me. I look down at my drink and smile.

“Are you smiling because you’re drunk or did you see a cute guy?!” Rose yells over the music.

“Both!” I yell back. She smiles and we continue dancing.

\--

I walk around the darkly lit warehouse and try not to bump into anyone too much. I lost Rose and I’m ready to head home. It’s almost two in the morning and I have work in a few hours.

“Rose?!” I yell. “Rose!” I look around me and blow my bangs from my face. She has to be around her somewhere. I stumble a little and balance myself against the wall. I shut my eyes and breathe. I know I shouldn’t have drank that much. I continue to walk around and call out for my friend. “Rose! God dammit...” I mutter.

I find myself in a large area with chairs and couches all thrown together in a makeshift circle. People are passing around a bong and I try and see if Rose is somewhere in the group. No... I walk away and finally stop searching. I head down a flight of stairs and head outside. I need some air. Once I feel the cool breeze hit my skin I sigh and lean against the brick outside of the building. I look out into the street and shake my head. She knows better than to go off too far by herself.

I get my phone out and see if she’s called. Nope. So I call her. It rings and rings then I hear her voicemail.

 _Hey it’s Rose. Leave me a message or whatever!_ And a beep.

“Hey, it’s me. Where are you? Call me please.” and I hang up. I shoot her a quick text telling her the same thing and slide the phone back in my pocket. I look up into the dark night sky and wish I could leave without her but... that’s not our code.

I look back into the warehouse and try and see her. I get out my phone again and call.

 _Hey it’s Rose. Leave a message or whatever!_ And a beep. 

“Rose you need to call me!” and I hang up. I put my back to the wall again and shake my head.

“Anything wrong?” I hear someone say. I yelp and turn towards the voice. I put my hand to my chest and see it’s the guy from the beverage table.

“Jesus you scared me!” I yell.

“Sorry.” he says while he holds up his hands. “Didn’t mean to.”

“I know...” I take a breath and sigh. “Um... I lost my friend.”

“Sorry... where at?”

“I don’t know. She was supposed to meet me back at the dancefloor like...” I check my phone and see it’s been over an hour. “...a hell of a long time ago.”

“Have you called her?” he asks. I look up at him and sigh.

“Yeah, she won’t answer.”

“Why don’t you just leave then?”

“We’re not supposed to leave without each other.” he leans on the wall with me.

“So now what?” he asks.

“I don’t know... wait until she shows up...”

“Maybe she met a guy and left with him.”

“Not likely… she has a man already.” Maybe I should call Finn… he could have picked her up but… she would have told me. I sigh. “I just wanna go home...” I say. “Its passed my bedtime.”

“I know.” he mutters. I look up at him.

“What?”

“I know. It’s way passed by preferred bedtime too.”

“Oh.” I nod my head and watch as a car goes by. “By the-” and I feel something jab into my neck. I put my hand to the spot and start to feel dizzy. “W-what...” and I feel arms go around me. They lift me up and I feel like I’m swaying.

“It’s okay...” he whispers. “It’s okay now...” my head is groggy and my vision is blurry. I try to speak but nothing comes out of my mouth except whimpers. “Shh... it’ll be over soon.” I hear a car door open then I’m being laid on something. “Just close your eyes my little lamb. We’ll be-” and everything goes dark.

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I walk down the street and keep my head down. There're too many cameras here but... I hear her laugh. My Laura’s laugh. I smile to myself and keep a steady distance behind her and her friend. There’s a group of three men in between us so it should be alright. Her friend tugs on her arm and they dash across the street. Her blonde hair waving back and forth as she runs. I watch from the corner of my eye and see them start to run.

“Fuck.” I mutter under my breath. I walk around the group and make it to the crosswalk. I hurry across before the light turns red and curse myself when I don’t see them. They’re going to dinner... and it’s a Friday... so they should be at a pizza place. I find three right in a row and pace by. Nowhere. Nowhere in sight. I walk back and forth a couple of times then head across the street. I lean against the wall and pull out my notepad and pen. I scribble in the time and the general place we are then stash it in my front sweater pocket. I watch the three restaurants periodically and take a breather. Her friend is no good. Always pulling her into traffic, not using crosswalks. No matter the time of day. Always taking her from my sight. I watch as group after group leave each shop and I sigh. It’s cold tonight and I wish I had brought hand warmers. I rub my hands together and blow into them. Trying to conjure up some heat. I watch as a single man leaves the middle pizza shop and I rub my eyes. It’s been twenty-seven days since my last taking. And I’m getting antsy. I need Laura. I need her. I hear footsteps to my left so I peak over. A group of three women. I take out my phone quickly and pretend to be texting. They come closer and I look up to scan their faces. They all have dark hair... pretty... cute... and-

My mind stops.

The last one...

She smiles at the smallest one as she pushes her in a playful way.

“Shut up!” she says. “You know I’m not like that!”

“Come on Rey you know you like him.”

“Well yeah but that doesn’t mean I’m going to jump his bones!” they walk past me and I turn and watch them go.

She’s perfect.

Without thinking... I walk. My legs take me with them. Following... pursuing... stalking... her.

I keep a distance and wait a moment as they go around a corner. Some people get in between us and I follow. Who is she? And how can I make her mine?

\--

_**Tuesday January 9th 2017 - DAY 1** _

_**6:05 am – Lamb’s bedroom lights turn on.** _

_**6:50 am – Lamb exits apartment. Red blouse and black skirt. Dark stockings and black heels. Hair up. In pursuit.** _

_**7:10 am – Lamb stops at coffee shop. Cup and brown paper bag. Contents unknown.** _

_**7:30 am – Lamb enters building. Place of work?** _

_**UNKNOWN** _

_**12:15 – Lamb exits building. Walks across street – diner. In pursuit. Sits two booths away. Lamb orders turkey BLT, extra mayo and an iced tea.** _

_**12:45 pm – Lamb exits from diner. Back to work.** _

_**UNKNOWN** _

_**4:30 pm – Lamb exits work. Does not head home. Enters grocery store.** _

_**4:50 pm – Lamb exits grocery store with plastic bags. Heads home.** _

_**5:25 pm – Lamb enters apartment building.** _

**_6:10 pm – Short dark haired woman enters apartment. Friend from first encounter._ **

**_10.25 pm - Lamb’s bedroom lights turn off._ **

**_End pursuit._ **

**_\--_ **

**_Thursday March 29h 2018 – DAY 445 Lamb going to long awaited warehouse party @ 1717 Mead st. and 20th ave. Will not pursue today. Ready, nesting and waiting._ **

**_10:57 pm – Lamb arrives in taxi along with Rose.Enter building. I will begin the taking..._ **

**_\--_ **

She’s dancing. Wildly. Arms in the air, hips moving. Her friend is there... she’s always there. I watch her... waiting... aching to take her. But not yet... she needs to be free of Rose first. I turn away as a pretty red head as she slips past me, and purposely rubs her ass against me. I ignore her. I’m here for my lamb and my lamb alone.

I turn back to her… and see she’s coming to me. She’s fanning her face from the heat, and I watch in awe as a bead of sweat drips down her throat. I want to run my tongue over it and taste her. She comes closer and stares at the array of alcohol on the table. Her eyes scan over each bottle and bowl... but I know what she wants. I grab a red solo cup and dip it inside of the clear bowl. Which is filled with a mixture that’s close to her normal poison. It’s sweet. Sickly sweet and you can’t taste the alcohol at all. I hold it out to her and see her eyes are shut. I wait a moment and then her eyes open.

They stare at the cup then... up at me. Her light brown eyes stare into mine a moment and I feel my heart skip a beat. This is the first time she’s truly seen me. She pauses a moment.

“Thanks!” she says. And my heart begins to beat again. I can’t help but smile at her.

“No problem. You seemed to be having an internal crisis.” I say back. Joke with her... make her feel safe.

“You know it...too many choices.” She stares down into the liquid and I think for a moment that I overstepped. I lift my beer to her.

“Cheers.” and I drink. It’s okay my little lamb... it’s not poison. She lifts the cup to her lips and drinks.

“It’s delicious!” I nod my head and pry my eyes from her. Don’t be suspicious Ben... don’t be suspicious. I tell myself over and over again. Don’t look at her eyes, don’t look at her lips...“Do you come to parties often?” she asks. I turn back to her and thank the world that she’s still there. I shrug and lie.

“Sometimes. Why?”

“You seem familiar.” Me? Familiar. I don’t know whether that’s good or bad. Has she noticed me? It’s been over a year... but... I was so well hidden. Most of the time.

“I have one of those faces.”

“No you don’t.” she drinks from the cub and I see it’s empty. I want to refill it. I want to be of use...

“Okay, I don’t.” I admit to her. “But we’ve never met.” I say in haste. We haven’t met. Never. Truly. I’ve been with you though my little lamb.

“No we haven’t.” she takes the few steps separating us and holds out her hand. Offering it to me. “I’m Rey.” she says with a smile. I bite the inside of my cheek and try not to scream. I take her hand in mine. Gently. Don’t scare her...

“Hello Rey, I’m Ben.” my real name. Not Charlie or Kyle or Thomas like I tell the others. If I tell the others.

“Nice to meet you.” she says with a polite laugh.

“Nice to finally meet you.” I accidentally say out loud. I curse myself and to my luck... she doesn’t notice.

“What did you give me?” she asks. I look at the way she’s nodding and see she’s talking about the drinks. Shit...

“Oh.” I take her cup and refill it with what I had given her. I hand it back to her and shiver as her fingers graze mine.

“Cool. Well, I’ll see you around.” and she turns away from me.

Leaving me.

I watch as she goes back to her friend and I smile.

One step closer.

\--

I watch her the entire evening until her friend finally excuses herself. They talk a quick moment then she walks away from her. I hope it was a sweet conversation... it’s the last they’ll have. I follow behind her and watch as she heads into the bathrooms. I stand in front of the door and wait. Rose is in the way but not for long. I hear a toilet flush from behind the door and a sink start up. I wait a moment and look around. No one is facing my way. Good. I put my ear to the door and slip on my leather gloves as I listen.

3...2...1...

The door begins to open but I slam it back and hope I hit her. I hear her groan and I slip inside. She’s on the floor. Clutching her face and groaning. I bring my sweater over the bottom of my face and lock the door.

She goes to move her hand but before she can I flip her over and straddle her. She begins to scream but I cover her mouth with my hand. It muffles the noise enough and I take one of the syringes from my pocket. I brought two... I knew I needed Rose out of the way. I take the cap off with my teeth and inject the substance into her neck. She squirms for a few moments then stills. I uncover her mouth and hear her gurgling. Trying to make words... but to no avail.

“It’s alright...” I soothe her. “It’s okay... I’m not here for you.” I whisper. “I’ll take good care of her though. I promise you that.” I get off her and pick up the cap to the syringe. I recap it and put it back in my pocket. I grab Rose and place her into one of the stalls. I lay her head on the toilet, and hope someone will find her and think she came in here to vomit. She will after the drugs where off anyway. I leave the stall and look at myself in the mirror. I run my hand through my hair and splash cold water on my face. I want to kill Rose. But... I prepared for this. For too long. I know it would hurt my lamb if her friend was hurt. I hear a knock on the door and I’m glad I locked it.

“Rose! Are you okay?” I hear the voice ask. I know that voice... “Rose!” I put my head to the door and sigh.

“Occupied!” I say in a low voice.

“Oh... sorry...” I hear her say. I wait a few moments and think. Now... I just have to hope she doesn’t come back here...

\--

I stay in the bathroom for quite a while. Checking my phone and Rose’s pulse. She’s fine and she’ll be fine later. I wait a few more moments and unlock the door. I head out and look around. My lamb is nowhere to be seen. I go around to where she was and see she’s waiting by the dancefloor. Waiting for the friend that won’t show. I stay my distance and keep a close eye on her. If she goes toward the bathroom, I’ll intercept.

She doesn’t.

She walks around the party, up and down different flights of stairs calling for her friend. A part of me is upset. I wish I didn’t have to make her worry. But... there’s no other way I could have gotten her alone. I watch as she stumbles along, somewhat drunker than I had hoped. I want her to remember this night.

Our night.

I follow her until I see her walk outside the building. I look around, there’s almost no one around. Perfect. I stay behind and watch as she scrolls through her phone and lifts it to her ear. I can hear her speak then she leans against the building. I take a deep breath and walk to her.

This is it...

“Anything wrong?” I ask. She squeals and turns to me. She puts her hand to her chest and sighs.

“Jesus you scared me!” she yells. I smile and hold up my hands.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to.”

“I know. Um... I lost my friend.” she says. No you didn’t lose her... I kept her from you...

“Sorry... where at?”

“I don’t know. She was supposed to meet me back at the dancefloor like...a hell of a long time ago.” she says while checking her phone.

“Have you called her?” I ask. Pretend to be helpful...

“Yeah, she won’t answer.”

“Why don’t you just leave then?” I know the answer.

“We’re not supposed to leave without each other.” I get closer to her and lean with her. I can smell her sweat... the light hint of her honeysuckle perfume that’s still clinging to her hair...

“So now what?” I mutter.

“I don’t know... wait until she shows up...”

“Maybe she met a guy and left with him.” I suggest.

“Not likely… she has a man already.” I sigh and she puts her head to the brick wall. I watch as her neck stretches and I gulp. “I just wanna go home.. Its passed my bedtime.” she whines.

“I know.” I mutter to myself. She turns to me.

“What?” she asks. Shit... um...

“I know. It’s way passed by preferred bedtime too.” I say.

“Oh.” she nods her head and I sigh. That was close. A car goes by and I watch as she follows it with her head. Her neck strains as she turns and I know now.

It’s time...

I pull the syringe from my pocket and quickly uncap it.

“By the-” I push the needle into the side of her neck and push the injector. I pull it out, re-cap it then shove it back in my pocket. She clutches to her neck. “W-what...” she mumbles. I get a hold of her and lift her into my arms.

“It’s okay...” I whisper into her hair. “It’s okay now...” she whimpers and I soothe her. “Shh... it’ll be over soon.” I walk the few feet to my car and thank my lucky stars I parked in the back. I open the backseat and gently set her inside. I smile and see her eyes searching. “Just close your eyes my little lamb. We’ll be home soon.” I move her legs and shut the door. I go around to the drivers seat and put the car into drive. But before I drive away I turn and look at her in the backseat. Her eyes are closed now... she’s out. I take a deep breath and let myself laugh. She’s mine...


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I had no idea I would get that many reads in just a couple days! Thank you all!  
> I think I will be updating twice a week now, so yay!

****

Chapter Two -

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

She’s here...

I pinch myself once more and open my eyes.

She’s here.

My little lamb... my Rey.

I put my hand to her neck and feel her steady pulse. She’s okay. She’s laying on the freshly made bed and smile as her pale flesh almost blinds me against the dark green comforter. I push some hair from her face and smooth it against her neck. She’s so beautiful...

I go down to my knees and lay my head next to hers. I run my finger over her lips and shut my eyes. No... no...

Not her... you’re not going to take her that way...

You don’t need her that way.

I open my eyes again and watch her drug induced sleep. She’ll wake soon... I have to make her feel welcome. I get off my knees and head upstairs. I don’t bother locking the door and head into the kitchen. I grab a cold bottle of water and an apple from the basket on the counter. I head back and set them on the small end table. She’ll be thirsty when she wakes... I know that much. And some women say they're hungry afterward too. A trash can is next to it just in case she vomits. I look down at her and push back the disgusting thoughts that are trying to boil to the surface. I don’t need her that way! I hit myself on the head and sigh. I don’t want her that way. I hit again and breathe... she’s... different.

I go to the corner of the room and open the door to the small bathroom I’ve installed. Nothing fancy... just a toilet and a sink. No mirror. No tub. I’ve had trouble there before. One smashed the mirror and killed herself before I could have my way and another tried to drown herself.

I shut the door and take a quick look at her before I head up the stairs. I shut the metal door and when it does, it beeps. Meaning it’s locked. I pull on the handle just in case and smile when it doesn’t budge.

I smile as I reach over and pull the fake bookcase back into place. It perfectly hides the door, just as it should. I walk away and fling myself onto the couch. I lay my head back and shut my eyes. It’s been a long day... and I do have work in a few hours...

\--

“Hi this is Ben from Reddington Electronic Services can I speak to Nadine please?” I say into the headset. Another day... another broken computer. I listen to the woman speak and politely answer her questions. “Yes ma’am I see that right here. If I can just have you verify the computers password...” she tells me and I enter it into the system, giving me access. “Alright, now you’re going to see a lot of things happening but that’s just me; alright ma’am?” I go through her computer... seeing what the damn problem is. Soon I find the virus and download a program to wipe it out. “Alright, that sound take about ten minutes, I’m going to put you on hold and I’ll be back soon.” I switch off my headset and take off my glasses. I rub the bridge of my nose and lean back in my chair. I spin around in my chair and check my phone. My little lamb should be awake by now...

I turn back in my chair and look at the second computer screen. I go to my security system program and open it. After it loads up I hit the live footage icon and click on the ‘basement’. The tab opens and there she is. She is awake. She’s still on the bed. She’s sitting, legs pulled to her chest, head resting on her knees. Her eyes are shut and I can almost see her trembling. She’s scared. I don’t blame her. I move the camera angle slightly and her head snaps upward. She looks at the camera. Yes my little lamb... I’m watching.

I check the first computer screen and see the program has done its job. I exit my security program and go back to work.

\--

After my next to calls are done with and one other appointment is set up I log out and take of my headset. I put the security camera program on my first screen and check on her again. She’s in the same position. It looks like she hasn’t touched the water or apple. I can’t tell if the garbage can was used but I’m sure it has. I blow air from my mouth and get up. I head into the kitchen and grab a small bag of chips from the cupboard. Normally eating in front of them helps. I go to the hall and swing the bookshelf away from the door. I put my finger to the keypad and push in the code. The door beeps to life and I take a deep breath before I open it. Here goes nothing.

I walk down the stairs and sigh when I hear her whimpering. I continue down and flip on the light switch near the stairs. The room fills with light and when I see her my heart swells with happiness and pride. My little lamb...

I look down at her and see she’s buried her face in her knees, covering the rest of her face with her hands. She doesn’t want to see me. None of them ever do.

“You haven’t touched your refreshments.” I say. She doesn’t speak. “They’re not poison or anything.” she doesn’t say a thing and I sigh. The silent treatment, oh how I hate the silent treatment. I grab the wooden chair from the corner and spin it around. I sit backwards on it in front of her, drop the bag of chips and lay my head on my arms. “You have to eat and drink sometime you know. Or else you’ll die.” I watch her and sigh. “Not right away of course. You could survive without food for... maybe three weeks. Water however is a different story. You won’t last one.” I see her shiver. “Are you cold? Or are you shivering out of fear? I’m guessing fear.” she slowly lifts her head up and stares at me.

“You.” she whispers. I smile.

“Good girl. You remember me.” I see tears cascading down her cheeks and I would be more than happy to kiss them away. But, I know it’s too soon for that.

“Why... why are... you doing... this?” she asks between sobs.

“That’s a very difficult question my little lamb.” her eyes widen at the pet name I have given her and she just stares. “You don’t have the metal capacity to comprehend that right now. But in due time, you’ll understand. I promise.”

“P-p-please... let me... go...”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. I’ve worked so long and hard to get to this point.” I pick up the bag of chips and open them. I take one and pop it into my mouth.

“Please... p-people are going to look for me...” I sigh.

“Yes Rose, Finn and Jyn will look for you. But, I’m quite sure we’re safe. Aren't you hungry?” I ask. “You have to be. The drugs I’ve given you are notorious for that.”

“How do you know my friends' names?” she asks. I eat another chip and put the bag down.

“I know a lot of things my little lamb. I know that your birthday is October 2nd. I know that you’ve been living with Rose for three years now. And I also know that you’re hungry.” I get up from the chair and walk over to the bed. She crams herself further into the corner and cries. “Don’t.” I say. “I’m not going to hurt you.” I get the water bottle from the table and take a seat on the bed. I sit with one leg underneath me and open the water bottle. “Watch me.” I tell her.” She doesn’t look so I reach out and take her chin in between my fingers. She winces and I speak. “I said... watch me.” she opens her eyes and I take a drink from the bottle. I cap it then grab the apple and take a bite. I chew and swallow then open my mouth to show I’m not hiding it. “See. Fine.” I grab the bag of chips and throw it next to her. “Eat... drink. Facilities are behind the door in the corner if you need them.” I get off the bed and head to the stairs.

“P-please... let me go...” she begs again. I turn back to her and push my glasses further onto my nose.

“I can’t.” and I walk up the stairs. I hear her cry and scream as I get to the door and I push in the code. The door beeps and I exit the basement.

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

I hear a beeping as he leaves and I large metal sound breaks through my weeping. I run my hands over my face and try to calm myself. What am I doing here?! Why am I here?! Why me?! I lay down on the bed and clutch the pillow to my chest. It’s a small comfort. I bury my head into the sheets and cry. I don’t want to die... I don’t want to die... not here. Not now...

How does he know about Rose? How does he know my birthday? I try to calm myself but... all I can do is cry. If he knows that... how much more does he know? Was he watching me? For how long? I... I never noticed. He did look familiar at the party but... I just thought I saw him at another one. Or even at the grocery store. I smother my face into the pillow and breathe. I calm myself somewhat and I sit up. I look at the things he’s given me. I sniff and run my hands over my eyes to somewhat dry my tears. I am thirsty… I am hungry…

And… he showed me it was okay…

I take the water bottle in my hands and roll it a few times before I open it and drink. I almost drink all of it but I stop myself. I put it down and reach for the chips. Salt and vinegar... not my favorite but...

I put one in my mouth and moan. This is good...

I eat one after another and when there’s no more, I dump the crumbs into my mouth. I toss the bag into the trash can beside me and take the apple. I run my finger over his teeth marks and sigh. I bite right next to his and close my eyes at the taste.

Soon my food is gone and I pour the rest of the water into my mouth. I sit on the bed and look around me. What am I supposed to do? I look at the camera in the far corner of the room and see the small red light. He’s watching... isn’t he?

I get off the bed and go to the door in the corner. I open it and peak inside. He told the truth. Inside is a toilet and a sink. I go back to the trash can and take out the water bottle. I take it to the sink and fill it up with cold water. I take a seat on the toilet and look up. There’s no camera in here. That’s nice at least.

I go back into the larger room and take a seat on the bed. He hasn’t hurt me... or even tried to touch me.... in a sexual way at least. But... I know it’s coming. I’ve watched enough true crime to know it’s coming. I lay back on the bed and shut my eyes.

\--

I wake up to the door beeping. I sit up quickly and watch as he comes down the stairs. I see a tray in his hands and I wonder what’s on it. I sniff the air and think I smell...

“Pancakes...?” I mutter.

“Uh huh. Chocolate chip ones... you’re favorite.” he comes closer and sets the tray on the bed. There’s also a cup of orange juice. I stare up at him and he smiles. “For you my lamb.” My favorite... he’s right. But... how in the world does he know that?! I look back at the tray and reach for the juice. I go back to the corner and sip. He takes a seat on the bed and sighs. “I hope you like them. I’ve been trying to perfect the recipe.” I lean forward and grab one. I bring it to my mouth and take a bite. It’s warm and chocolatey... it tastes good. I nod my head and take another bite. “Good girl.” he praises. I don’t look at him and once the first pancake is done I reach for the tray. I bring it closer and eat one pancake after the next. “Slow down now. You don’t want a stomach ache.” I don’t listen and soon all five are gone. I drink the last of the juice and set it on the tray.

I finally look up at him, and see he’s watching me. I look away quickly and stare at the empty plate.

“Good?” he asks. I nod my head and he sighs. “I like to be spoken to little lamb.”

“They were good...” I say.

“And what do we say?” he asks. I gulp and sigh.

“Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.” he grabs the tray and heads to the stairs. “I’ll check on you in a few hours my little lamb.” and he turns away. He goes toward the stairs but I speak.

“How do you know those were my favorite?” I ask. He turns back to me and sighs.

“I said I know a lot of things.”

“How?”

“I’ve spent... let’s see...four-hundred and forty-five days watching you.” I swear I can feel the color leave my face... four-hundred... “That’s one year... two months and twenty-one days. Precisely.” he says with an almost... prideful tone. “Which, fun fact. Is the longest I’ve ever pursued a woman.”

“But...”

“You keep the spare key to your apartment above the door frame. It was easy enough to find. And there is... sorry, was a three-hour window that you and Rose were gone at the same time. It took me quite a bit of time to figure that out, I’ll admit.” I just listen to him... this can’t be real. Can it? “And that was only guaranteed on Wednesdays and Thursdays when she worked her second job. Saturdays didn’t count since you have those off. Also... I took the liberty of placing bugs in your apartment. Two in the living area, one in the kitchen and one in your bedroom. I only had one camera though. I placed that one in your bookshelf. Lucky me you don’t read much anymore.” he says with a laugh. “Would you like to know anymore?” he asks. Knowing the answer. I shake my head and he smiles.

“As I thought.” and he turns back to the stairs. “I’ll check on you soon lamb.” and we leaves me. I sit at the head of the bed and stare off. He was in our apartment... he... was stalking me. He was watching me sleep and change! Suddenly the red-light flashes on. He just left and he’s already watching. What can I expect? He’s not going to stop now. I lay back down and stare at the stairs. I don’t want him to watch me... not anymore. But... there’s nowhere to hi-

And it hits me.

I quickly grab the comforter and the pillows from the bed and go into the bathroom. I close the door and cuddle myself into the empty corner. I lay my head down on the pillow and shut my eyes. He can’t see me in here...

\--

I dream of walking through a field of flowers. It’s so beautiful and I never want to leave, but... then there’s a dark cloud hovering over me. I try to run but it’s all around... I can’t escape...

“Little lamb... wake up now.” I open my eyes and jolt when I see him standing over me. I sit up and press myself into the corner. “It’s okay. Shh...” he puts his hand to my face and I flinch. “I just wanted to see how you are.” I don’t say anything and he smiles. “That was smart, sleeping in the bathroom. I have to give you credit for that.” he lets go of my face and stands. “But this...” he says while motioning around us. “...is not going to work.”

“W-why... I don’t-”

“It’s not going to work. Do you understand?” he says in a stern voice.

“Please... I just... don’t like-”

“Do you think I care what you do or don’t like?!” he yells. I shut my eyes and I hear him sigh. “Come on now... out of the bathroom.”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said no.”

“Rey... come on and do as you’re told.”

“No!” I say again.

“Fine. The hard way it is...” and I feel his hands on me. I scream and start hitting at him. “Stop!” I hear him yell. I keep trying to hit him and soon, he wraps his arms around me. He throws me over his shoulder and I scream again.

“Put me down! Put me down!” I yell as I hit his back with my fists.

“Go ahead and scream. No one will hear you.” he says. I scream again and again, hitting him as hard as I can. “If you can’t do as you’re told my lamb... you will be punished.” he tosses me in the air and I land on the bed. And before I can think. He’s on top of me. I push on him and he takes my hands in his.

“Let me go!” I scream. He pins me to the bed and I can’t move.

“No.” I open my eyes and stare up at him. His dark eyes stare into mine and he smiles. “I. Will. Never. Let. You. Go.” He emphasizes every word… and with each my heart shatters. I feel tears swelling in my eyes.

“Please...” I whisper. “Please... I won’t... I won’t say anything. I promise. Just... please let me go home.”

“This is your home now lamb.” I flinch at the name and cry. “Come now... no need to cry.” and I feel his lips on my forehead. I cry harder and he kisses again. I feel his breath on my face and I shut my eyes tighter. “Now... you will sleep in this bed. And only in this bed. Or else.”

“Or else what?” I dare ask.

“Trust me... you don’t want to know.” and he gets off me. I stay lying on the bed and listen as he walks up the stairs. And when I hear the beep...

“Are you going to kill me?!” I yell out. I hear the door beep again and his footsteps coming back to me. I see him from the corner of my eye... he’s just standing there.

“Why would you think that?” he asks. I sit up and look up at him.

“Why wouldn’t I?” I ask. “You drugged me... kidnapped me... and you’re holding me captive. Normally murder is next...” he just stares down at me and runs his hand through his hair.

“No. I’m not going to kill you my lamb.” I can’t help but laugh.

“Why should I believe you?”

“Because... there’s no reason not to.” I don’t say anything. “I haven’t lied to you.” I shake my head. “And I won’t hurt you. I promise.” he says.

“Pinning me to the bed hurt... how do you explain that?” I snap. Why am I egging him on?! Why am I digging myself in deeper?!

“Did it really hurt?” he asks.

“...yes.” he walks forward and falls to his knees at the edge of the bed. I watch him put his head in his hands.

“I’m sorry...” he whispers. I continue to watch him and he just stays in that position. “I’m so sorry...” he says. “I didn’t mean to hurt you...” why does he sound... sincere? He was so angry a moment ago…

“Um...” he flings his glasses into the bed and screams.

“I would never hurt you on purpose! I never wanted to hurt you!” I go into the corner and try to distance myself from him. “I didn’t mean to hurt you!” he yells. “My lamb... I’m so sorry...” I listen to him wrestle with himself and try to keep calm. “I really never meant to hurt you...” and he begins to hit his head and I gasp at the sudden movement. “I’m sorry!” he yells. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” He hits his head over and over again and I flinch as he hits himself in the face. I move toward him, grab onto his hands. I hold them and try not to think of how big they are compared to mine...

“Stop...” I say. He gets his hands out of my grip and begins to hit his head again.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I don’t want to hurt you! I never wanted to hurt you! I don’t want to hurt you!” I get a hold of his hands again but they’re tangled in his hair. I keep them still and try to keep the tears in. Why am I helping him? I hate him… he’s done awful things to me… but I hate to see others suffer… I always have… and even he… doesn’t need to hurt. What was his name again? Brad...no...Ben!

“Ben.. Ben…” I call out, continuing to hold onto his hands.

“I don’t want to hurt you…”

“Then don’t…” I whisper. “Don’t hurt me...” He slowly looks up at me and I feel his fingers loosen in his hair. I let go of his hands and wait. He puts his hands on the bed and stands. I back up somewhat and watch him go to the stairs.

“I’ll bring you dinner…” and he walks up the stairs. I hear the door beep then shut then beep again. I put my back to the wall and hold my legs to my chest. I stare off into space and try not to cry. What is happening??

\--

I stay on the bed. I don’t dare get off the bed. I don’t go for the pillows... or anything. I just lay there and wait for him to come back. I stare at the wall and try to imagine designs flowing across it, so I can copy them with my eyes. Something... anything to keep my mind going...

When he comes back he has twos tv dinner in his hands. Lasagna. He hands me a plastic fork and I dig in. Before he does the same he goes into the bathroom and gets my comforter and pillows. He lays them on the bed and begins to eat.

When I’m part way done... I dare ask him...

“Why... did you hit yourself?” he stops eating and turns to me.

“Because... sometimes... it’s the only way to get the bad feelings out.”

“What bad feelings?”

“Just bad feelings, okay?” he snaps. I nod my head and take another bite. “I want to rape you...” I look up at him and I can almost feel my heart stop. “...I want to... push you down onto this floor and spread your legs wider then you ever thought they could go. I want to hear you scream...” he puts down his tray and sighs. “Then I’d like to wrap my hands around your neck... and squeeze until there’s no light left in your eyes...” I put down my tray and push it away. “But I won’t...”

“...why?” I ask.

“Because...” he starts. “...I don’t really want that.”

“It sounds like you do...” he completely turns himself so he’s looking right at me and takes a deep breath.

“But I don’t. It’s what my normal tendencies are yes... but... with you...”

“You just said-”

“I know what I said.”

“Then... what?”

“I want you... to want me. I don’t want to forcefully take you; like I did the others.” the others...? There were others before me? “I want you to beg for it... and... I won’t take you until you do.”

“And the choking me thing? What about that?” I ask. He pauses a moment and sighs.

“Like I said... I don’t want to hurt you little lamb.” he picks up our trays and stands. “I’m assuming you’re done.” I nod my head.

“Kind of lost my appetite...”

“I understand.” he walks to the stairs and before he takes the first step he turns. “I mean it.” he starts. “I won’t have sex with you until you’re ready and willing.”

“You’re going to be waiting a hell of a long-time...” he smiles.

“We’ll see.” and he heads up the stairs. I listen to the door beep, close and beep again. I grab the pillows and throw them down before laying down. I cover myself with the sheets and shut my eyes...

I’ll never want him. Never! Ever!

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, chapter three... you start to see the worst side of Ben. Also, this is a slow burn so there won't be any smexy times for them for quite a few chapters.   
> Also, I will be updating on Mondays and Thursdays! Hooray for steady updating!

Chapter Three-

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I watch as my lamb paces across the concrete floor. She walks, heel to toe... back and forth until she plops down onto the ground and lays down. She’s bored. I can’t blame her... there’s nothing to do down there. But... I can’t trust her just yet. I’ve had her for five days now, her mind should be starting to grasp the situation. A few more days and I’ll give her something to stimulate her mind. Maybe some books or magazines. Overall she’s been good but... she still needs time.

I switch off the system and head into my bedroom. I go to my knees and lift up the skirt of the bed. I grab the lock box and pull it out. I sit on the floor and take the keys from my pocket. I unlock the box and stare at the small black notebooks. I flip through them and grab one of my favorites.

I run my finger along the silver text on the front.

Lydia...

I open the notebook and skim through it.

**_\--_ **

**_Saturday September 26th 2015 – Day 15_ **

**_4:15 am – L leaves apartment, immediately heads across the street to bakery. Unlocks door and enters._ **

**_4:20 am – L walks to front door and checks lock_ **

**_4:30 am – L checks lock again... last time on schedule_ **

**_\--_ **

**_Saturday October 3rd 2015 – Day 22_ **

**_4:15 am – L leaves apartment... last time_ **

**_\--_ **

I smile fondly at the words and remember the look on her face as the needle penetrated her neck. I remember the sheer horror in her eyes as she woke to me eating her out. How she thrashed around and tried to slip her wrists from the rope. Making blood seep from her wounds and tears run down her face.

I flip to the back of the notebook and slowly run my finger along the blonde hair taped to the last page. She was good while she lasted. One of the longest I kept alive. Four days... four days of sheer pleasure... for me at least.

I grab another notebook and sigh.

Wendy...

**_\--_ **

**_Wednesday November 2nd 2016 – Day 30_ **

**_7:25 pm – W exits club... alone._ **

**_7:35 pm – W stops at pizza parlor – Hawaiian slice and a coke – heads to car._ **

**_\--_ **

That’s when I grabbed her... I had no control over my body. It was the perfect moment, she was alone, she was near an alley. An easy target.

I smile at the thought of her praying to God. Pleading him to save her and take her away. He didn’t help. Not one bit. Not when I plunged into her over and over, claiming her as mine. Not when I held the knife to her throat and forced her to blow me. And definitely not when I slashed her throat open.

I caress the strand of black hair and smile as I put the notebook back. I look down to the front of my jeans. I’m hard now. I know better than to reminisce. I lock the box once more and push it underneath the bed. I get off the floor and climb onto the bed. I take off my glasses, set them on the end table and un-zip my pants. I take my cock in hand slowly begin to move my hand up and down. I shut my eyes. I think of what I want.

But... what I want... I can’t have... not yet at least. She’s not ready, and neither am I. I need to get rid of these feelings... and replace them for her. It hasn’t been easy. But it’s doable. To think of something... anything else. Or to go out and find easy prey. I shut my eyes tighter and imagine my lamb, laying on her bed. Legs spread wide, purple vibrator deep inside her, chest heaving, soft mews exiting her throat. She thinks she’s alone, she thinks no one can hear her pleasure. But I do. I always do. Cum cascades from my cock and I squeeze one last time. I take a breather and then get off the bed and clean myself of with tissues. I slip my glasses back on and think again...

Easy prey...

I open the end table and grab the notebook I started before Rey.

Laura... her schedule was quite steady... she didn’t drink or have a roommate. She was celibate by choice... no boyfriend... no one-night stands. She was focusing on her school work as far as I could tell.

Laura will have to do. She’ll keep my brain and body at ease for a few days. I head into the kitchen and look at the time. It’s almost six. I flip through the notebook and see she should be going home now from work. I need to hurry... but I need to make Rey some dinner...

I look through the fridge and see I have enough ingredients for a sandwich. I hurry, grab everything and put it on the table. I open the bread and take out two slices, put mayo on one side... mustard on the other and grab the turkey. I throw some on and add lettuce and tomato. I crack some pepper on it and salt then grab a bag of chips from the cupboard. I put everything on a plate then put things I didn’t use back into the fridge. I head to the basement and quickly head down the stairs.

I see her sitting up, waiting. I smile and hold the plate out to her. She takes it and sighs.

“Thank you.” she says.

“You’re welcome.” she takes a chip and puts it to her mouth. I watch her eat a moment then sigh. “I have to go out for a while.” she looks up from her dinner.

“Where are you going?” she asks.

“Nowhere special. I just need... to run an errand.”

“What kind of errand?”

“You’ll see...” I answer. “You’ll see...” she just stares up at me with those big brown eyes and...and I put myself into check. This is why you’re going out... this is why you need Laura. So you don’t hurt Rey. “I’ll be back soon my lamb.” and I go to the stairs. I head up them and before I get to the door I hear her voice.

“Please don’t leave...” she says. I stop in my tracks and shut my eyes. Did she really just say that? Or did I imagine it? I go back down the stairs and see her standing by the bed. She looks... forlorn. “Please don’t go...” she whispers. “I’m going crazy down here... please... please stay...”

“Right now... you don’t want me down here little lamb.”

“Yes I do.” she says quickly. “Please...”

“No you don’t. Not the way I am at this moment. That’s why I’m going out.” she takes a step closer and lets out a raspy breath.

“Please just stay and talk to me...”

She needs me... she needs me... and I need her. But I need Laura...

She takes another step forward and smiles.

“Please Ben...” she whispers. “I don’t even know what day it is... what time... please... I just need... someone to talk to...”

“Fine.” she smiles and clasps her hands together. “But right now...” I begin. “...I have to go.” and I head back up the stairs.

“Ben!” she yells. I hear come after me and I hurry. I need to leave or I won’t. “Ben!”

I feel her come closer and I quickly enter the security code. I go to exit but I feel her hands on my back.

“Please...” I let out a breath. “Please don’t go...” I turn around and look down at her. My little lamb... my Rey... she wants me. Quicker than I thought she would. But... I know... I know she’s just lonely. She doesn’t want me... not really. She puts her hand to my chest and I grab her wrist. She flinches and I sigh.

“You my little lamb... need to walk back down these stairs.” I say in a stern voice.

“P-please...”

“Listen to me!” I yell. She looks up at me. “I’ll be back soon. Then... we can talk all you want. But right now... I have to go.” she shuts her eyes and shakes her head. “Yes... yes I do.” I answer her un-asked question. “I won’t be gone for more than two hours.”

“Two hours?!” she stares up at me and I see tears threatening to fall.

“Yes. I know. I know. That’s a long time.” I put my other hand to her face and she shuts her eyes again. I run my thumb over her cheek and close my eyes. Her skin is so soft... “I’ll hurry back to you. I promise.” I let go of her and she looks up at me. She stares me in the eyes and I almost melt. “Take a few steps back. Carefully.” she does as I say and I smile. “Good girl.” I step on the other side of the door and softly close it behind me. The door beeps closed and I put my back to it. I shut my eyes and breathe. I need to go... I need to go... I need to get away from her!

I swing the bookcase back into place and check my phone and see if I don’t leave now... I’ll miss Laura. I grab my car keys and sweater from the hook by the door and head out.

\--

I keep and eye on Laura’s walk home. She’s right on time. I walk behind her and watch as her blonde hair bounces as she walks. It’s in a braid. Her normal style. It’s nice to see she’s stayed the same. I haven’t visited her for quite a long time. I stay a few feet away from her and smile as she drops her phone.

“Shit!” she says. She bends over to grab her phone and I take my chance. I un-cap the syringe and quickly go to her. As she straightens herself up I push the needle into her neck. She doesn’t make a sound and falls into my arms. I look around and am thankful there’s an alley. I pull her into it and put her behind a garbage can. I need to get my car and come back for her. I walk from where she is and head to my car. It’s almost six blocks. But I have time...

\--

I carry her through the kitchen from the garage and lay her on the floor near the couch. I stare down at her and breathe. Yes.... she’ll keep me at bay. I’ll have fun with her while Rey is safe.

Rey.

I sit in my computer chair and check on her. She’s asleep on the bed. Covered with the sheets. I smile at the sight of her. I’m glad she fell asleep, she needed to rest after getting so worked up. I exit the program and turn around in my chair. I’ve never had to girls here at once...

How am I going to do this? Normally I would put her downstairs and... sometimes wait for them to wake up before I ravage them. But now... I have Rey. And I don’t know how she’ll react to my... hobby. I did tell her what I was thinking... what I wanted to do... but it’s different to see it and hear it happening.

I know.

I go to my spare room and open up box after box until I find some headphones. They’re not soundproof, but they’ll help. I grab my ipod from my desk and plug in the headphones in. I put them around my neck and put the ipod in my pocket. I leave Laura where she is for now and head down to my little lamb.

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

I sound of the door beeping wakes me. I just lay there and watch as Ben comes down the stairs. I smile when I see him. I can’t help it. Another face... someone to talk to. He smiles back and I see headphones around his neck. I sit up and he comes to the edge of the bed. He sits and speaks.

“I’m sorry I took so long.” he says.

“I fell asleep.”

“I know. I saw. Dream anything good?” he asks. I shake my head.

“Not really.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” he takes the headphones from around his neck and hands them to me along with an ipod. I just stare at the things and he sighs. “I normally don’t do this. But... I don’t want you to hear what’s going to happen next.”

“What’s going to happen next?” I ask.

“Nothing good. That's why I brought you the gift.” he says. “I don’t know when I’m going to come back down here... but when I do... you are to do exactly what I tell you. Do you understand?” I nod my head.

“I understand.”

“Good lamb.” he praises. “Now, you are going to listen or watch whatever you want to on that thing and you’re going to face the corner.”

“Why?”

“Because. That’s why.”

“Okay...”

“When you hear the first beep I want you to turn around and do as I say, and you will not move until I give you permission. Is that clear lamb?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” he stands and I speak before I can help myself.

“I thought we were going to talk...”

“I know... we can talk after though.” I nod my head.

“Okay.” he smiles and puts his hand to my face.

“You can listen now if you wish but, pay attention to the door.”

“I will.”

“That’s my girl.” and he turns to the stairs. I watch him disappear and I smile as I look at the ipod. I put the headphones on and unlock it. I scroll through his music and notice we like a lot of the same bands. I click on Shinedown and almost cry when I hear the song begin to play. Something so simple... how can it sound so good. I sing along with the song and lay down on the bed. This was nice of him...

I listen to twenty or so different songs then from the corner of my eye I see legs. I quickly remember I should have been listening for the door and quickly face the corner. I hear a murmur of something but he didn’t want to me listen so I find another song I like and mouth along to the words. I do it with two more songs then as I'm looking for another song I hear something. Something like... crying. I go to turn around but remember what he said. He doesn’t want to turn around until he says.

But... crying...

I peak over my shoulder and what I see... makes my heart stop. He’s on the floor a few feet from the bed; naked. He's on his knees and... thrusting. I turn back to the corner and try to forget what I saw but...

I look over my shoulder more and see blonde hair. I gulp and turn a bit more. He’s not... is he? There’s no way he’s...

He is.

He’s fucking some girl in the same room as me. I look and see her hands are tied behind her back and his hands are dug into her hips. I watch for a few moments then I hear another murmur. I look up a little and see his face. And he’s looking at me. My eyes go wide and I see him lips move. I slowly slide one side of the headphones off my ear and listen to what he’s saying.

“What in the fuck did I tell you?!” he yells. He pulls out of the woman and I can’t help but stare. Oh... fuck...

He comes over and I put my back to the wall.

“What did I tell you?!” he barks.

“To not listen and to not move...” I answer. He reaches out and takes my shoulders in his arms. I try and push him away but... I can’t. He lifts me off the bed and stands me on the floor. The ipod falls to the floor along with the headphones and I just stand there. He stares down at me and I just look at his chest. He has a tattoo... right over his right peck... Let Fate Decide... in cursive. I just stare at the tattoo and all of a sudden, he takes my face in his hands and lifts so I’m looking into his eyes.

“Why didn’t you do as you were told lamb?” he asks.

“I don’t know...” I stare into his dark eyes and he sighs.

“Go to the bathroom.”

“What?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself!” he yells. I go around him and start to walk to the bathroom. But before I can get there I look down at the floor. This woman... is tied up seven ways from Sunday... she’s on her knees... legs pulled apart and I can see the rope going around them... keeping her in place...

And she’s looking at me. I look back and see she has something shoved in her mouth. She mumbles something into the gag and I feel his hand on my back. He puts his head on my shoulder and I can feel his breath on my neck. I whimper and stop walking as I reach the bathroom.

“I’m doing this for you.” he whispers. “So I don’t hurt you...” and he pushes me inside the bathroom. I stand there a moment and hear him from the other side of the door. “Stay lamb.” he says.

He’s... doing that... for me. I slide down the door and hear the woman begin to cry again. I put my hands over my ears and shut my eyes. No... no... no!

Why didn’t I listen?! Why did I turn around! I wouldn’t know what’s going on! Why am I so stupid!

No... no it’s not my fault. It’s his... he’s the one... raping that poor girl. And... oh no...

I remember one of our previous conversations...

_“I want to rape you......I want to... push you down onto this floor and spread your legs wider then you ever thought they could go. I want to hear you scream...Then I’d like to wrap my hands around your neck... and squeeze until there’s no light left in your eyes...”_

I open my eyes and let the tears fall. He’s going to kill her...

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I sit on the bed and hold my head in my hands. Why didn’t she listen?! I hit myself on the head and couple times and push back the thought of dragging her out here and doing exactly the same to her. That’s why I needed Laura. To make these feelings go away! But I’m in no mood now. I get off the bed and slip on my boxers and jeans. I stand over Laura and watch as she shivers. I was almost finished too...

I take the pocket knife I laid beside her and begin cutting the rope from her body. When she’s free there’s small trickles of blood trailing down her skin.

“I can’t have you bleeding everywhere....” I say. as I grab her skirt and throw it to her. “Clean yourself up.” I turn from her and hear her gasp.

“Fuck you!” she yells. I turn back and stare down at her, she’s removed the makeshift gag, her underwear.

“Why would you want that? I didn’t think you we’re enjoying yourself.” I say with a smile. “Now clean yourself up!” I yell. She jumps at my tone and puts her skirt to her wounds. I smirk and pick up the things I gave Rey. I put them onto the side table and turn to Laura. She’s looking around the room... trying to find a way out. “You’re not leaving Laura.” I say. “Not until I allow you to.”

“So what? After you’re done raping me you’ll let me go?!” she yells.

“In a manner of speaking.” she just stares up at me. “But... let’s not think of the ending. Why don’t we trade cookie recipes and braid each others hair first? Then...” I continue. “...I’ll tie you up again and fuck you senseless.” she shoots daggers into me with her eyes and I laugh. “Or maybe you’d prefer to use Stanley.” I say. Her eyes widen and she stands up.

“How do you know that?!” she yells. I click my tongue at her.

“Come now... don’t get upset. Everyone does it.”

“How do you know?!” she asks.

“How do you think?” I ask with a smirk.

“I am going to fucking kill you!” I roll my eyes and take off my glasses. I set them on the bed and stretch my arms out.

“Go ahead and try honey!” I tease. “You’re in my world now.” I see tears welling in her eyes and I smile. “What’s wrong? Is it all hitting you now? Well good. I like it better when you cry.” and I walk to the bathroom. I open the door and sigh when I see my lamb sitting on the floor. “Come on my little lamb.” I say. “It’s time for bed.” she doesn’t say anything. “Little lamb.” I say again. She looks up at me and I see the tears in her eyes. It stops my train of thought. I go down to the floor; take her face in my hands and I watch tears fall down her cheeks. “I’m sorry...” I say. “I’m sorry you had to witness that.” I rub my thumbs through her tears. “But that’s why I told you not to look. Do you understand why?” I ask. She nods her head and cries.

“Yes...”

“Good... the next time you’ll just come back in here.”

“N-next time?”

“Yes. I have needs that must be met I’m afraid. And... you can’t meet those needs.” she doesn’t answer and shuts her eyes. “It’s alright though little lamb. She won’t bother you. I promise.” I kiss her forehead and sigh. “Come on, time for bed.” I take her by the shoulders and lift her on her feet. I walk away from her and turn around when hear she isn’t following me. “Come on. Don’t mind her.” she starts to walk and she only glances once at Laura. She hurries over to me and sits on the bed.

“Laura. Unless you want me to come back down here tonight. You won’t bother my little lamb.” I say. “You won’t speak a single syllable to her or touch her bed. The floor is good enough for you.” I turn back to Rey and smile. “This is your bed, not hers. Don’t speak to her. Understand?” she nods her head.

“Yes.”

“Good girl.” I say. “I’ll see you in the morning little lamb.” I allow myself to kiss her once more on her forehead and I leave them alone.

I go to my computer and open the security program, I watch them a few moments and minimize the window. The camera inside the basement will say it’s on, so I should have nothing to worry about tonight. I shut my eyes a moment and lean my head on the back of my chair. I smile to myself and sigh. I’m definitely going to enjoy myself the next few days...

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the nice comments! I am also thinking about posting another fic about my babies. I have a couple of ideas and I hope to have something up very soon!

 

Chapter Four-

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

I wake up to the sound of someone talking. I turn over and ignore the sound. I'm still tired...

“Hey... hey!” I open my eyes, flinch at the bright light and turn back over. “Hi.” she says. I don’t say anything and just look at her. “Do you know a way out?” she asks. “Or anything... anything at all.” I shake my head. “Come on. How long have you been down here?” she asks. I don’t speak and she sighs. “He’s not here. You can speak.”

“No.” I whisper. “But there is a camera.” she looks all around then sees it.

“Oh. Does it have sound?”

“I don’t know. Now leave me alone.” I say. I lay back down and shut my eyes.

“Come on... Lamb...” I flinch at the name and sigh.

“My name is Rey... now leave me alone.”

“I’m Laura...” she says. “You saw what he did to me, you heard. Now... please, help me.” I open my eyes.

“Yeah... I saw... why do you think I don’t want to speak to you when he told me not to.”

“Oh please. He’s not going to do anything to you. Little lamb.” I roll my eyes and sit back up.

“Stop. Ok. Just stop. That door.” I say while pointing. “Is the only way out.”

“Just one door? That’s it?”

“You think I didn’t try? There's a code.” I look up at the camera and sigh. “Please... I just want to sleep.” I turn over and shut my eyes.

“We’re in this together you know. Me and you. We have to take him down. Tie him up and get the fuck out of here.” I shake my head and ignore her. “Maybe you like it down here though...” she says. “You have a nice comfy bed and everything.” I keep ignoring her and I hear her walk away. I shut my eyes tighter and try my best to sleep.

\--

I sit up in my bed and stretch. I rub my eyes and waddle to the bathroom. But when I open the door I see her laying inside. I sigh.

“Do you mind?” I ask. “I have to pee.” she just stares at me then stands up. She walks out of the bathroom and I do my business. I wash my hands then open the door. “I had that idea, you know.” I say. “He won’t like it.” I say as I walk out. She goes back in, right under the frame.

“Why? Not sleeping in the bathroom wasn’t one of the two rules he gave me.” I roll my eyes and sigh.

“No it wasn’t. But... he doesn’t like it.” I walk back to my bed and take a drink from my water bottle. I cross my legs and stretch my arms.

“How long have you been here?” she asks.

“I don’t know. He hasn’t told me.” She stays quiet a few minutes or so then speaks again.

“Does he feed you?” she asks.

“Yes he does.”

“Well how many meals have you had?” I think a moment and sigh.

“I don’t know. I don’t exactly count when I get food. I just eat. He doesn’t exactly have a schedule. Sometimes he brings breakfast... sometimes lunch... I don’t know.”

“Oh...”

“I eat when I’m good. So... I try and be good.” and I hear the door beep. She quickly shuts the bathroom door I and take another drink from the bottle. He walks down the stairs and when I see him, some part of me... gets happy. He doesn’t have food though. I guessed that.

“Good afternoon my lamb.” he says. “How did you sleep?”

“Good.” I say. He comes over and stands in front of me. He stares down and I smile.

“I know you were talking.” he says. I just look up at him and he sighs. “But, I suppose... I can forgive you. Since we didn’t talk last night like you wanted. I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.” I say. “We can talk now...” I do want that. Talking to Laura right now... did feel good.

“No. Not while our guest is here.” I look down and he puts his finger under my chin. He lifts and makes me look into his eyes. “We’ll talk all you want when she’s gone.” I just nod my head and he smiles. “Speaking of our guest...” he lets go of my face and turns to the bathroom.

“I woke up and she was in there.” he walks to the bathroom and opens the door.

“Hello Laura.” she doesn’t speak and he turns back to me. “Lamb why don’t you come and get in here.” No... he’s going to hurt her again. I don’t want to move... I don’t want her to get hurt... “Lamb... come here.” I stay where I am and I hear him groan. “This is going to be a problem isn’t it?” he asks. “Well... you can do as I say and get a treat or you can stay there and watch me fuck her. And I know you don’t want to see that.” I don’t say anything and he comes back to me. “If you go into that room right now... I'll let you have a shower.” my eyes widen a bit and he continues. “And then I’ll fix you something to eat. Anything you want. Pasta... chicken...” my stomach growls and he smiles. “Come on and be a good girl.”

No... I can’t...

I shake my head and he shuts his eyes a moment.

“Fine.” and he gets me into his arms. I scream but I don’t fight him. He’s too strong...

He carries me into the bathroom and sets me down on the toilet. He reaches for Laura and she fights him off but... he finally gets a hold of her. He slams the door shut and I cover my ears as she starts to scream.

“I’m so sorry...” I whisper. “I’m so so sorry...”

\--

I stand near the door and wait for him to come get me. But... he doesn’t. Laura isn’t screaming anymore... and I don’t hear him talking. I don’t dare leave the room. I don’t want him angry at me... I’m scared of him when he’s angry. I turn on the sink and cup my hands together. I drink from my hands and turn off the water. I sit back on the toilet and wait some more.

Much later the door opens. I turn to it and smile when I see him.

“Come on out.” he says. I do as I’m told and walk out. I look to my right and see Laura. Sitting in the wooden chair. Her legs are tied to it and so is her chest. I look away and he leads me to the bed. I take a seat and he smiles. “I’m still upset with you lamb.” he says. “But... if you can show you that you can be good... I'll think about rewarding you.” I nod my head and he pushes his glasses up his nose. “Now, you understand I’m doing this for you, correct?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“Good. So... I’m going to have you do something for me.”

“What?” I ask. He walks away from me and heads to the stairs. But, I don’t hear the beep.

“Come here lamb.” he says. I do as I’m told and go to the stairs. I look up them and see he’s standing in front of the open door. “Come on.” I climb the stairs and when I get to him I stop. He stares down at me and smiles. “To your left you’re going to see a living area, then more to your left is a kitchen.” he says. “In the kitchen, you’ll have to find three things for me lamb.” I nod my head. He holds up one finger. “A pair of scissors.” he holds up a second finger. “A small black book.” and he holds up one last finger. “And a shaker of salt.” he finishes. “Repeat that back.”

“Scissors... a black book... and salt.” I say. He smiles.

“Good girl. Now, after you’ve gathered those items you will come back down the stairs. And shut the door behind you. Understand?” I nod my head.

“Yes.”

“Good. Now go.” and he steps out of my way. I step past him and hesitate. “Go.” and I walk. I take a few steps and I see the living room. The walls are a pale blue and the floor is hardwood. I take a few more steps and look around. There’s a matching couch and chair surrounding a circular glass table. Facing a wall with a TV on it. Behind the couch is a computer setup. Much larger than what I even saw at work. I walk past and stop when I see a door. The front door...

I look at it a moment and think if I could run. But... it’s probably locked. And... I turn around and see he’s not watching me. The idea flashes through my mind again and I shake my head. No. I can’t. I look to the left and see the kitchen. I turn and go to it. The walls are white and instead on hardwood... it’s linoleum. I walk in and first see the black notebook on the table. I grab it and look around. There’s another door. My legs instinctively take me to it but I stop before I get there. It’s a trap Rey. I tell myself. It’s a trap. I turn away from the door and think. Scissors... scissors...

I look over the counters and find nothing so I begin to go through the drawers. And there I find them. I pick up the pair of white handled scissors and shut the drawer. I look around me again and search for the salt. And I see it. Right next to the stove, alongside a matching pepper grinder. I pick it up and smile as I leave the kitchen. I begin to walk to the metal door but stop. I turn back to the front door. Maybe...

I turn around again and shut my eyes a moment and think.

It’s a trap...

I go to the metal door and take the first step into the basement. I shut the door behind me and it beeps shut. I go down the rest of the stairs and when I see Ben he’s smiling. I walk over to him and hold out the items. He takes each one from my hands and stares down at me. Then suddenly he kisses my forehead.

“That’s my girl.” and he walks away from me. I smile and watch him. He goes over to Laura and sets everything down in front of her. Then he turns back to me. “After I’m finished here, I’ll fix you something to eat. And also, something sweet for desert. How does that sound little lamb?” I nod my head.

“That sounds good.” he smiles.

“Good.” and he turns once again to Laura. “You on the other hand, aren’t going to have such a good time I’m afraid.” and he picks up the salt shaker. “I think you know what this is for.”

Wait...

He unscrews the top of the salt shaker and begins to pour it over her. I flinch as she starts to cry out and I look down at her thighs. There are long bleeding gashes across them and he’s pouring the salt directly into them. I cover my mouth with my hands and turn away. I hear her cry and I try not to cry myself.

What have I done?!

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I smile as I watch Laura’s thighs jolt with pain, even more so than when I sliced them open. She screams bloody murder and once each gash is filled with salt I screw the lid back on and set it down. Sometimes... I like to make them hurt... just a little more. I open my notebook and flip to the back page. I’ll only have Laura for another day, two at the most, so I need to finish my project. I look over at Rey and see she’s turned away from me. I know she didn’t want to see that. And I forgot to tell her to go back to the bathroom. I go behind her and lay my head on her shoulder. I sniff her hair and grimace when I don’t smell her perfume or shampoo. All I smell is sweat. She needs a shower. Reward or not. She whimpers and I shh her.

“It’s ok. I’d never hurt you lamb.” I feel her shiver so I wrap my arms around her. She whimpers again and I hold her close. “I’m doing this for you remember?” I whisper. “It’s all for you. And soon... she won’t be a problem anymore.” I let go of her and walk back to Laura. I pick the scissors and go to her side. She tries to squirm away and I take a couple fingers full of hair. I go down to the length I want and snip it off. I twirl it around my fingers a few times and pick up the notebook. I walk to the stairs and turn to Rey before I leave. “I’ll be back soon with your treat.” and I walk up the stairs and out the door.

I put the push the bookcase back and head to my desk. I grab scotch tape from one of the drawers and open the notebook. I tape Laura’s hair onto the last page and run my fingers over it before I shut the book. I take the notebook to my bedroom, get the lockbox from under the bed and place it inside with the others. I lock it back up and push it back to its place. I sit on my bed a moment and smile. Number twenty-two, is almost done. It's hard to believe that’s how many women I’ve taken but, three or so a year... for the past six. It does add up. If I wouldn’t have found Rey, it would have been more. I still took others while I was watching her but not as many. She preoccupied most of my time.

I get off the bed and head to the kitchen. She’s hungry and she was good... enough. She deserves something. I look through the cupboards and sigh. Nothing really here. I need to go shopping. What little I do have is enough for sandwiches again. I sigh and decide to go the store. I check on the girls first though. Rey is sitting on the bed and of course Laura is on the chair. Good. I exit out of the program and grab my wallet and keys. I shouldn’t be too long. I’m just running to the store.

\--

I throw the green beans, carrots, bell peppers and broccoli into the wok and smile as the aroma of ginger and peppers fills the air. Stir fry, my specialty. My little lamb deserves something good to fill her stomach. I add the beef and it begins to sizzle. I stir everything around and when it’s done I pour the vegetables and meat into two bowls already filled halfway with white rice. I scrap the last bits of flavor on top of the food and set the wok back on the stove. I turn off the heat, get two forks and grab cokes from the fridge. I set everything on a tray and start to leave the kitchen. But I stop. I almost forgot her treat. I quickly grab the package of pumpkin white chocolate cookies and put them on the tray too.

I balance the tray on my arm and enter the code to the door. It beeps alive and I shut it behind me as I go down the stairs. As she comes into sight I can’t help but smile. No one else has ever given me joy. Not this way. Not by just... existing.

I put the tray on the bed and take a seat on the other side of it. I lay my back to the wall and grab a bowl.

“Time for dinner lamb.” and I begin to eat. She quickly takes the other bowl and moans as she takes the first bite. “Good?” I ask.

“Yes, thank you.” and she takes another bite. I do the same and watch her. She shovels forkful after forkful into her mouth and I smile.

“Don’t eat too quickly now. It’s not going anywhere.” she looks up at me and puts her fork into the bowl. She smiles and reaches for a can. She opens it, takes a sip then sets it back down. And before she starts to eat again, she speaks.

“Can Laura have some?” she asks. I swallow what I have in my mouth and sigh.

“No.”

“Why? I mean... it’s not fair.”

“No it’s not. Now eat.” and I take another bite. She doesn’t pick up the bowl and I turn to her. “Eat.”

“It’s not fair...” she says.

“Rey... eat. Now.” she just stares up at me and I shut my eyes and breathe. “Fine.” I get off the bed and go over to Laura. “Open!” I yell. She doesn’t move and I go down to her level. “Open your fucking mouth.” she finally listens and I feed her. Only a few bites. She chews and chews and I look over at Rey. She’s eating. Good...

I give her a few more bites and stop. I stand and go back to Rey. I sit next to her and start to eat again.

“Thank you, Ben.” she says. I turn to her and see her smile up at me. I smile back and we continue to eat.

\--

Rey’s POV

\--

I take a cookie from the bag in his hands and smile. My favorite...

I look at Ben and see he’s reading the back of the package. How did- oh... right. He knows everything about me. I take a bite of the cookie and look to Laura. Her eyes are shut.

“Is she ok?” I ask. He looks over at her and sighs.

“She’s fine. Probably just dozed off.” and he takes a cookie from the package. He takes a bite and shrugs his shoulders. “These are okay...”

“I love them.” I say.

“I know...” and he takes another bite. I eat another cookie and finish my soda while he just sits with me.

“Dinner was good.” I say. “Where’d you get it?”

“I made it.”

“You did?” I ask. He turns to me and takes off his glasses a moment. He rubs the bridge of his nose and sighs.

“Yeah.” and he puts his glasses back on. “Why?”

“Nothing... it was really good.”

“Thank you.” he gets up from the bed and goes over to Laura. He pulls on her hair and she cries as she wakes. “Do you think you can be good?” he asks. She quickly nods her head and he smirks. “I hope so.” and he begins to untie her. I smile as she gets free and he rubs her wrists. I get up from the bed and sigh.

“I have to pee...” I go into the bathroom and shut the door.

Before I flush I hear something break and a loud thud. I quickly wash my hands and go out to see Ben on the floor. Laura is standing over him and she’s breathing hard.

“Take that you bastard...” she walks over to me and puts her hands on my shoulders. “We’re getting out of here...”

“W-what did you do?” I ask.

“Hit him over the head with a bowl.” she answers. She grabs the rope from around the chair and goes to him. “Help me.” she says. I don’t move and she yells. “Help me!” I hurry to her and she hands me some rope. “Get his hands, I’ll do his feet. Then we’ll have time to figure out the code.” I put my hands to his and sigh as I wrap the rope around his wrists. But, before I can tie them his eyes open. I stare down at him and I can see the warning in his eyes. I stop what I’m doing and he shuts his eyes again. I stay by his head and watch as she stops tying his feet together. “Okay good.” she says. “I’ll go and check the door.” and she goes up the stairs. I look down at Ben and he opens his eyes again. He slowly sits up and put a finger to his lips. He wants me to be quiet. I nod my head and curse myself. I shouldn’t be helping him... I should be helping Laura...

He quickly undoes the rope around his ankles and stands quietly. He takes length of rope, holds it out and turns to me. He comes closer and put his mouth to my ear.

“Do as I say.” he whispers. I just nod my head and I shut my eyes as I feel his breath on my neck. “Call her down here. I don’t care how. And keep out of my way.” I nod my head again and he walks to the stairs. He goes to one side. He nods his head and I wet my lips before I call out.

“Laura!” I yell. “He’s awake!”

“Shit...” I hear her say. I hear her footsteps on the stairs and I start to cry when I see her. Her eyes widen as she looks around the floor then she sees him to her right.

“Hi.” and he wraps the rope around her throat. She hits at him over and over but he spins her around and wraps the rope around her throat a second time. She starts to gasp and he smiles. “I was hoping to keep you a while longer Laura.” he says. “But that little stunt... just shortened you life.” and he lifts her up. Her legs start to flail around and he struggles to keep her steady. Her hands go to her neck and scratch at the rope. “Shh... shh... it's almost over...” I just watch as he holds her in the air by the rope and cry. What have I done? I... I should have helped her. I should have tied his hands... like she said. Why did I help him? Why did I help him?!

I take a few steps forward and he turns to me.

“Rey stop!” he yells. I do as he says and stop in my tracks. “Stay!”

“Ben... please...” I beg.

“I’m sorry...” he says as he lifts her up higher. Her legs stop kicking and I watch as her hands drop from her neck. He keeps her up for a few more moments then drops her on the floor. I gasp at the sound and stare at her wide blue eyes. I put my hands over my mouth and shut my eyes. I drop to the floor and lean against the bed. I cry into my hands. I don’t hear him come near me but I feel his arms wrap around me. I try to push him away and scream.

“Get off me! Let me go!” I put my hands over my eyes and I feel his arms around me again. I put my hands to his arms and try to push him away but he coils himself around me and puts his head on top of mine.

“I’m sorry.” he says. “I’m so sorry. You had to of known we couldn’t keep her...” He rubs my back with his hands and I instinctively put my arms around him and press my face to his chest. I cry into the fabric of his t-shirt and he continues to sooth me. “It’s okay... it’s okay. Just let it out...” he says. “Just cry and let go. Let it all go.”

I don’t know how long I cry but soon all that comes out is raspy breaths and whimpers. I drop my arms and he releases me. He sits across from me and I look over at Laura... “No!” he says. My eyes snap back to him and he sighs. “I’ll get rid of her.” and he stands. I keep my eyes on him and he smiles. “I’m sorry you’re upset. But you’ll forget all about her soon.” he turns away from me and goes to Laura. He picks her up and throws her over his shoulder. “I’ll be back soon...” and he leaves.

I stay where I am and listen to the door beep once then close then beep again. I lay down on the floor and look around. There’s rope... and a broken bowl... and... water? I get up and walk over to the puddle. I cover my nose at the smell and realize it’s pee. I look down at the puddle and feel vomit rising in my stomach. I run to the bathroom and put my head over the toilet. I puke until nothing but bile is coming out and I lay my head on the seat. I quickly flush the toilet and shut my eyes a moment before I stand and rinse my mouth out with water. I slide down the sink and keep my back to it. I put my face in my hands and try to breathe.

This is all my fault...

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Just to let you know; the italicized part is a flashback!  
> Also, I posted a new fic! It's called To the Bone!  
> 

Chapter Five -

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I carry Laura into the garage and lay her down. I scavenge for the things I need and soon I’m ready to go. I put on my gloves, lay out a tarp on the ground and place Laura’s body on one side. I begin to wrap her up in it and soon her body is hidden from me. I tie it with rope and unlock the car. I place her in the trunk along with my shovel. I get into the driver’s seat and put my head to the steering wheel. I didn’t want Rey to see that... but... in a way it’s good that she did. She needs to know what I do. To fully understand me. I open the garage door with the small remote and back up into the street. I push the button to close the door and drive off into the night.

\--

I stand in the shower and let the water run over my head. I need a few minutes before I see my little lamb. I lift my face towards the stream then turn my back to it. I grab the bottle of shampoo and squirt some into my hand. I lather it into my hair and scratch my head with my nails. I go back under the stream and rinse. I grab the bar of soap and lather it other my body until I can’t smell the dirt anymore. I stand under the spray a moment longer and turn it off.

I dry myself then wrap the towel around my waist. I go to the sink and wipe the steam from the mirror before brushing my teeth and hair. I put my glasses back on and stare at the man in the mirror. A killer... a rapist... a stalker... a man in love...

_…_

_It's Thursday... which means I have three hours to be in lamb’s apartment. I’ve been waiting for the right moment for months... and it’s finally time. She’s still at work and Rose will be gone in... five minutes._

_I wait in the small deli across the street and sip on a drink I bought. I keep an eye on the door and soon Rose skips out. She tightens the scarf around her neck and walks down the street. I wait an extra five minutes to make sure she doesn’t run back for anything then exit the deli. I walk across the street, go inside the building and head up to the third floor. I look down the hall and make sure no one is coming before I go to her door and reach up to get the spare key. I unlock the door and slip into the apartment._

_I take a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief. I’m here. I’m in her space..._

_I look around me and take in the sigh of the small yet charming apartment. The walls are white, the carpet is a god-awful tan. There are two mismatched couches sitting in front a medium sized TV. One is a dirty looking mauve color and the other is a dark blue. There are way too many throw pillows on them along with blankets laying over the backs. I run my finger across the blue one and turn around. The kitchen area. Same white color and white appliances. I go through the fridge and cupboards to see what she eats in her own time. Leftover pizza... take out; chinese... eggs, bacon... and milk. Pasta... popcorn... sweets... lots of sweets. Two packages of pumpkin white chocolate chip cookies... with REY written on them._

_I smile and go to one of the two doors on the far wall. I go through the open door on the left and see a medium sized bed with pink and white sheets. I snoop around and see pictures of Rose. With who I am assuming are family. This is her room. So it immediately becomes less interesting._

_I walk out and gently open the right door. Inside is another medium sized bed, but with purple sheets. The bed is messy, not made like the other. Clothes thrown around the room… a wet towel hanging on the headboard. My lamb is in a hurry it seems. I look in the bookshelf across from the bed and read the titles. Mostly fantasy novels, some mystery, some romance. Along with old college textbook. The bookcase is dusty... she most not read often. I turn and see a small string of lights hanging over her headboard. I switch them on and smile. Simple white light. I turn them off and look down to the bedside table. There’s a half empty bottle of water, a small lamp, a picture frame and a single book. A worn book. I pick it up and examine it. Stardust by Neil Gaiman... I’ve never even touched this book before, let alone read it. I flip through it and see some pages are ripped and some words are even fading. It must be her favorite..._

_I put it down and look around my lamb’s room. This is where she goes to hide from me. The one place she is safe from my eyes... was safe._

_I kneel down and run my hands along the lilac sheets... I slowly put my cheek down and run it along the soft fabric. I let my hands gather a corner of the sheet and press it to my nose. I inhale and sigh as her scent radiates through me..._

_Perfect… simply perfect…_

_I look to the side and look at the photo. It’s of her and her friends. Rose and her boyfriend Finn. Her friend Jyn and Rose’s sister Paige. They’re all huddled together, squeezing into the picture. I run my finger along Rey’s face and sigh._

_I’ve never felt this way about a conquest before… until now… until lamb…_

_When she first walked past me that night... I was so drawn to her. Like a moth to a flame..._

_I inhale the sheets again and groan._

_This… this has to be love…_

_…_

I shake my head and focus. I walk out of the bathroom and go across the hall to my bedroom. I slip on some boxers and a pair of black pajama pants. Then search for a clean shirt. I don’t find one so I grab the hampers from my room and the bathroom. I head to the washroom and start some laundry. I walk out of the washroom and head to the bookshelf. I pull it from the wall and enter the code into the keypad. The door beeps and beeps again as I shut it. I sniff the air and sigh. Fuck...

I go down the stairs and see a puddle of piss where Laura’s body was. I look up and see Rey clutching her legs on the bed.

“I’m sorry I left this down here.” I say. “I forgot to clean up her mess.” she doesn’t say anything and I head back up the stairs. I grab a mop and bucket from the washroom, fill it with water and soap and head back down. I watch Rey as I mop and she doesn’t look at me. I sigh and when I’m finished I throw the water down the toilet and place the items near the stairs. I pick up the pieces of broken bowl and throw them into the intact one. I put the tray and everything else into the bucket and go to the bed. I take a seat and she stares away from me. “I’m sorry.” I say. She doesn’t speak. “I had to.” I explain. “Not only because that’s what I was going to do anyway, but... she attacked me. I can’t have that.” still nothing. “I’m sorry you had to see it. But... in time... you’ll get used to it.” her eyes finally go to mine.

“Why would I have to get used to it?” she asks.

“You know I have-”

“Tendencies, yes. But... why...” she trails off.

“It’s just how I am. I rape then I kill. That’s all there is to it.” she shakes her head.

“Then why haven’t you done that to me, hm?” she asks. “Why? Why?!” she yells.

“Because I don’t want to hurt you.” I explain. “I’ve told you this lamb.”

“And what the fuck is with the lamb this and little lamb that?! I have a fucking name!”

“I know you do.” I say. “It’s just a pet name.” she looks away from me. “You’re just so... innocent and sweet. It just suits you...” she stays quiet. “I am sorry you saw it, but I’m not sorry I did it. I’m not going to be sorry for who I am.” She’s quiet for a few minutes then she finally speaks.

“You’re a monster…” I stare at her a moment and nod my head.

“Yes… yes I am…” I answer. “Don’t you think I know that?” I say.

“Then why do you do it?” she asks.

“Because I can’t help myself. I can’t hold back. I see a woman I like then I stalk, rape and kill her. That’s just how it goes...” she turns to me and I’m taken aback when I see tears in her eyes.

“You’re not hurting me... that’s holding yourself back.” she says. “You... like... me so...”

“I’m not hurting you because for once in my life I have little voice in the back of my head; telling me not to fuck up the one thing I love.” I admit. “That you will love me. That this...” I say while pointing in between us. “...means something. That I don’t have to take you by force or murder you in cold blood. You’re going to stay here with me... on your own.”

“You’re literally keeping me here… against my will...”

“Yes I am. Until you finally get into the mindset that this is meant to be. You won’t want to leave.” she shakes her head. “You’ll want me... all on your own. I could tell from the moment I saw you. I knew you were going to be mine.” she shuts her eyes a moment and sighs. “I just knew. It was like I was a magnet. I was drawn to you from the very start.” I say. “You were... are, everything I have ever wanted. The light to my dark, the Juliet to my Romeo however you want to put it...” I sigh. “And I waited over a year for you. I was watching you, getting to know you, falling in love with you Rey.” I confess. “I just want you.”

“Then why Laura?” she asks. “Why did you kidnap Laura and... do... that to her?”

“I needed to put my feelings into something. Someone. And I couldn’t do that to you. I'd never do that to you.” I take a breath and sigh. “And she was the girl I was stalking before you. The night I saw you I was following her. And... you made my heart jump out of my chest. Just by waking by me. I had never felt that before, until you. I needed you. I needed that feeling.” she turns her head to me and sighs.

“Well... congratulations... you have me.” she says. “Now what?”

“We wait.” she nods her head and scoffs.

“Right... for me to fall in love with you and for me to completely be okay with you raping and murdering other women. We’re going to wait for me to be okay living in a fucking hole for the rest of my life.” she sobs a moment and continues. “And... just wait to... die here.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way but-” and she cuts me off.

“How else am I supposed to feel Ben?” she asks. “I’m not your girlfriend I’m your prisoner. I’m not even one of the women you’ll rape and eventually get rid of. I’ll never be rid of you.” she sighs.

“...no.” I say. “You won’t.” a few tears fall from her eyes and she wipes them away with the back of her hand.

“I want to be alone...” she says.

“Lamb...”

“I just want to be alone...”

“I thought you wanted to talk.” I say. She looks over at me and shakes her head.

“No... this was plenty thank you.” she backs into the corner and stares at the wall. I watch her for a few moments, and try to keep my head straight.

“Fine.” I get off the bed and start to walk away. “I’ll bring you something to eat tomorrow.”

“Don’t bother...”

I exit the basement and put the bookcase back. I stare around my house and slide down the bookshelf before I scream into my hands.

“Fuck!” I hit my head over and over again until I stop caring about the pain I’ve caused her. I bury my face into my hands and breathe. “She’ll love me... she’ll love me... she’ll love me.” I say over and over and over again. “Just be patient... and nice and she’ll love you in no time...” I say. “Just keep her as happy as you can... just love her and she’ll love you back...” I uncover my face and get off the floor. I turn off all the lights in the house and go to my bedroom. I take off my glasses, set them to the side, get under the covers and shut my eyes. “She’ll love you...” I tell myself. “Just wait... just wait...” and soon... I wear myself out and fall asleep.

\--

“Yes sir I know you’ve been patient... yes sir... yes sir. Yes I am a professional. Yes, yes English is my first language.” I tap a pen on my desk and listen to incoherent rambling on the other end. “Yes sir...” I answer. “No sir I cannot let you talk to a manager. Because I’m not in a call center. No sir I’m not. But I can give you a number for my manager.” he goes off and I switch my headset a moment and breath. I calm myself and turn it back on. He's still going. Two minutes later he stops and I give him the number. “Have a good day sir.” and I push the hang up icon. I throw my headset down and take off my glasses. I run my hands over my face and sigh. I click on the security program and start to watch Rey.

It’s been two days since our... argument. If you could call it that. Two days since I killed Laura. Two days since she’s eaten...

I watch her through the camera and wish she would listen to reason. But, every time I take her something, she doesn’t take it. And if I leave it there, she lets it go stale or she throws it in the trash. At least she’s drinking water though. It’ll get her by until she comes to her senses. She just lays on the bed and stares at the wall. It’s not good for her psyche... but then again... this whole situation isn’t. I click off the window as another call comes in. I take a deep breath and put on the headset. I push the answer icon and prepare myself.

“Hi, this is Ben from Reddington Electronic Services. How can I help you today?”

\--

Seven days after I killed Laura... Rey stops drinking. She just lays on the bed, facing the wall and sleeps. She has no energy at all. She doesn’t lift her head while I speak to her or even move a finger.

I watch her on the computer screen and curse myself. If I wouldn’t have brought Laura... she’d be fine. She would have been begging for me by now! She wouldn’t be starving herself! We wouldn’t be in this situation!

I go to the kitchen and grab a water bottle and a couple slices of cold pizza. I throw it onto a plate and take it down to her. She doesn’t turn to me as I enter the basement... she doesn’t move a muscle. I put the plate on the side table and sit on the bed. I hold out the water to her but she doesn’t even acknowledge I’m there.

“You need to drink.” I say. She says nothing... I sigh and flip her over onto her back. She stares up at the celling and try to open her mouth with my fingers. “You need to drink...” she keeps her teeth clenched and tries to bite me when I get one finger through. I yank my hand back and she finally looks at me. “You need to drink... you need to eat.” I say. “If you do... I’ll let you take a shower, I’ll bring you a book or anything else you want. Please...” I plead. “...just eat.” she softly shakes her head and I hear her stomach growl. “It’s been seven days... a week.” I tell her. “...you’re killing yourself...” and I get a reaction out of her. She smiles. I just stare down at her upturned lips and push the thought of wrapping my hands around her neck and ending it all to the back of my head. I won’t kill her... I won’t!

I stand quickly and stare down at her while she shuts her eyes. I watch her for a moment then leave the basement.

\--

Day ten... post Laura...

I watch her for over a half hour and then... I can’t take it anymore...

I exit the program and go to her. I head down the stairs and stare at the back of her head.

“Lamb?” nothing. “Lamb?” nothing. “Rey.” I go over to her and see her eyes are open. “Can you speak?” her eyes look slightly to me and go back to the wall. “You’re not going to like this...” I say. “But you give me no choice.” I take her in my arms and head back up the stairs, I didn’t bother shutting the door so I go right through and close it with my leg. It beeps closed and I push the bookshelf into place. I carry her into the bathroom and lay her on the white linoleum. I clog the drain with the stopper and run the water into the tub. I turn back to her and see her eyes are shut. I take a deep breath and reach to her blouse. I un-button it lower and lower and soon it’s showing me her tan flesh and red bra. I repress the urge to kiss her stomach then run my tongue from navel to throat. I slip the blouse off her carefully and toss it to the side. Next... her jeans. I put my hand to the button and undo it quickly. I un-zip them and begin to shimmy them off her. Once they’re past her thighs it’s easier to pull them from her legs. I go to take down her underwear but I stop my hands. I put them to my own thighs and take a moment to calm myself.

“It’s okay.” I tell myself. “It’s okay...” I leave her bra and underwear on... and decide it’s for the best. Even seeing her like this... no! No! I yell at myself.

I take her in my arms and carefully sit her in the tub. She slouches into the water and I turn it off. I reach over to the sink and grab the green cup I have there for late night water trips. I dip it into the water and begin to bathe her. I pour water over her body and grab a bar of soap. I lather it over her legs, stomach and arms before I rinse her off cup at a time. I then think of how to wash her hair. It’s greasy... almost matted from lack of care. I slowly begin to pour water over her head and try my best to keep her eyes covered. I grab my shampoo and squirt some into my hands and begin lathering it into her hair. I keep suds from getting into her eyes as much as I can and pour cup after cup of water on to her head. I’m glad she’s laying back, but it’s still difficult.

I unclog the tub and stand. I grab a few towels from the cupboard and lay one on the floor. I take her from the bathtub and lay her on the towel. I begin to dry with another one and as soon as I’m done I take her into my arms and carry her into my bedroom. I wish I would have put a towel down first, but no matter. I lay her down and move the covers from underneath her body. I cover her and her eyes slightly open.

“It’s alright little lamb.” I tell her. “I’m going to take good care of you.” and I leave the room. I quickly head to the kitchen and grab a can of chicken broth. I pour it into a pan and heat it up.

When I get back to Rey, I smile at the sight of her in my bed. Then push the thought away. You’re just going to feed her and take care of her.

I go to her side, set the broth on the table and take her in my arms again. I sit her up so she’s leaning against the headboard and snap my fingers in front of her face. Her eyes open and I smile.

“I’m going to feed you now.” I say. “It’s just broth.” I get a spoonful of broth and cup my hand underneath it so it doesn’t spill all over her. I put it to her lips but she doesn’t open her mouth. “Come on Rey.” I urge. “Please drink this...” I push the spoon to her lips lightly and she opens her mouth. I pour the liquid in and sigh. “Good girl Rey... good girl.” I hear her gulp and I feed her another spoonful. “I can’t give you much...” I explain. “But, this will make you feel better.”

Soon half of the broth is gone so I stop. She whimpers and I run my hand across her cheek.

“I know but your stomach won’t handle much more little lamb.” I carefully lay her back down and tuck her into the covers. I see her shiver so I grab an extra blanket from the closet and lay it on top of her. “I wish I could do more...” I whisper. I take a seat on the floor and watch as her eyes open slightly and she smiles.

“B...en...” and its practically music to my ears. I lay my head next to hers and sigh. She shuts her eyes again and quickly falls asleep. I watch as her chest moves from under the covers and when I know she’s sleeping soundly. I shut my eyes as well.

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

I open my eyes and flinch at the bright light streaming through the window.

Window? I turn to my right and see window with shades on it. I stare at the sunlight a moment and smile. Where...?

I turn to my left and see Ben. His head is on the mattress next to me, his glasses are crooked on his face and he’s fast asleep. I look past him and see a closet and an open door. I shut my eyes a moment then look back at him. I must be in his bedroom... I must be upstairs. I look around the dark grey walls and see it’s a normal bedroom. Nothing... suspicious. No pictures of me hanging in a creepy collage, no blood... no anything. Except... a poster hanging across from the bed. Jurassic Park. I smile and shut my eyes again. This bed... is comfy...

\--

I wake up again to the sound of someone calling my name. I open my eyes slightly and see Ben standing over me.

“I’m going to feed you again.” he says. “I’m going to sit you up.” I don’t say anything and he wraps his arms around me. I lean into his shoulder and he sets me against the headboard. He takes s seat next to me and I see he has a bowl in his hands. “Just broth again...” he says as he brings a spoon to my mouth. I look into his eyes. I see... worry. And... what else exactly? I open my mouth and he feeds me. He smiles and nods his head. “Good girl...” he praises. He gives me another spoonful and I hum at the taste. It's just chicken broth but it tastes amazing. I’m... so hungry...

He feeds me until the bowl is almost empty then he holds out a cup with a straw in it.

“Try and drink.” he orders. I put my lips to the straw and suck. Water comes into my mouth and I cough when too much goes down my throat at once. He puts the cup down, leans me over his shoulder and pats my back like a child. I cough up the water and lay my head there. I sniff his shirt and sigh. He smells good... like laundry detergent and coffee...

My stomach growls at the thought of coffee and he chuckles.

“I know. But if I feed you too much it’ll upset your stomach. If you can keep the broth down I’ll give something more substantial tomorrow.” I nod my head as much as I can and he keeps me how I am. I stare at the simple poster a moment then shut my eyes. He’s... comfy... too...

\--

I keep my eyes closed as Ben rummages through his drawers, trying to find me something to wear. I’m just in my underthings... and I need to use the bathroom. He finally finds something and I sense him standing near me. I open my eyes and he holds out a black long-sleeved sweater shirt. I nod my head and he comes closer to lift me up. I wrap my arms around his neck and he pulls me from the bed. He sets me down softly and I wobble as I stand there. He keeps me steady and grabs the shirt. He throws it over my head and helps me put my arms in. Once it’s on, I look down and see it goes to the middle of my thighs. He offers me his hand... so I take it. He helps me to the bathroom and I sit on the toilet. I look up at him a moment and sigh.

“Privacy?” I ask.

“You don’t need help?” he asks. I shake my head.

“I can pee on my own.”

“Okay. I'll be just outside the door.” he steps out of the bathroom and closes the door.

When I’m finished I stand, holding myself up with the help of the counter and go to the sink. I wash my hands and look up into the mirror. And when I see my reflection I gasp. There're dark circles under my eyes and my face looks... thinner. How long... did I not eat for? I know the feeling of an empty stomach... but... back then... it wasn’t my choice. This time... it was my decision. What in the world was I thinking? I swore... I’d never be hungry again...

I’m paler than I think I was but... the last time I looked into a mirror... was before the party with Rose. I put my hands to my face and frown at the girl in the mirror.

“What happened to you?” I ask. I hear a knock on the door and sigh as I hear his voice.

“Are you done?”

Him... he’s what happened.

I go to the door and open it slowly. He smiles down at me as he sees me and offers his hand again. I put mine in his and he holds it. His hands are so big compared to mine. All of him is big... he’s tall... and broad shouldered. And what I have seen of his...

“Hungry?” he asks. I snap out of it and nod my head.

“Yes.”

“Good, come on. I'll make you some soup.” he leads me down the hall and we pass the bookshelf. I stare at it as we do and he takes me into the kitchen. He takes me to a chair and pulls it out for me. I take a seat and he starts to move around the kitchen. I see him take out vegetables and chicken and stock... he’s... actually going to make me soup.

“A can is fine.” I say. He turns from the counter and smiles.

“No it’s not. You need nutrients and protein. Not msg and tin flavoring.” he says. “Besides, I like to cook.”

“Oh... okay...” he puts water into a pot and throws a package of chicken thighs into it. He sets it on the stove and turns it on. He comes over to the table, bringing with him a cutting board and the vegetables. He sets the things down and grabs a knife from behind him. I flinch at the sight and he frowns.

“I won’t hurt you lamb.” he says. I nod my head.

“I... I know...” he smiles and I watch as he begins to prep. His knife skills are better than mine could ever be, and he’s quick. “You could be a chef with those skills.” I say before I can think about it too much. He looks up at me.

“Thank you. I’m just good with my hands.” he stands up abruptly and goes to the stove. He stirs the pot and turns the heat higher. He stays there a moment and returns. He pushes the celery to the side and starts on the onion. I scrunch up my nose and he sighs. “I’m aware you don’t like onion. But you need it for flavor. I’m going to leave it in big chunks to take it out easily.”

“Thanks...”

“Uh huh.” I watch him as he cuts into the onion, then the carrots and the herbs. I sniff the air and my stomach growls. Even the chicken boiling smells good. Once he’s done prepping, he gets up again and checks the chicken. “Done.” I hear him mutter. He fishes out the meat and sets it onto a plate. He then strains the liquid and adds in the vegetables and herbs. He stays by the stove and I look down at my thighs. I run my fingers over the material of the shirt and lean back into the chair. I lift my legs onto the chair next to me and snuggle into the material. I hold my hands to my chest and shut my eyes a moment before I smell something yummy.

I open my eyes to see the plate of chicken in front of me. Ben’s standing next to me and staring down.

“You can shred the chicken, if you want to help...” he trails off. I nod my head and take a thigh into my hands. I begin to take off the meat and my stomach growls again. I put a piece to my mouth and eat it. I close my eyes at the taste and eat another piece. Then another... then another. And soon, a thigh is down to the bone. I quickly look up at Ben at the stove. He just smiles. “Don’t eat more than that, okay lamb? We need some for the soup.”

“Okay.” I set the bone to the side and shred the rest of the chicken.

\--

Soon, Ben is setting a bowl of very hot soup in front of me. He put his bowl down across from me and grabs a loaf of french bread from the counter. He opens the package and tears off two pieces of bread with his hands. He hands me one and I eagerly take it. He sits down and put his spoon into the soup. He blows and takes a bite. I do the same and can’t help the moan that escapes my throat.

“This is delicious.” I say. “Thank you, Ben.” he looks up from his bowl and smiles.

“You’re very welcome.” I take another spoonful and another until half of the bowl is gone. I pick up the bread and dip it into the broth. It soaks it up and I lift it to my mouth and eat it. I smile and next thing I know he’s reaching across the table. He puts his thumb under my bottom lip and wipes something from it. I just watch him and try not to feel what I’m feeling.

His dark eyes meet mine and his thumb grazes my lip. His lips are slightly parted and...

I...

I want... him to kiss me...

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't the most interesting but Ben and Rey open a line of communication! That's something!

Chapter Six-

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

I...

I want... him to kiss me...

Why do I want that? Why would the thought even cross my mind?! He's... awful... but... he isn’t. He... saved me... 

My eyes go down to his full lips and my mouth suddenly goes dry. I gulp and my eyes flash back to his. His staring... he’s always staring. His glasses slide down his nose a little and before I can stop myself... I reach over and gently push them back into place. My finger grazes his nose and his eyes widen. His thumb leaves my face and he quickly walks out of the room. I stay seated a moment and curse myself. 

What in hell did I just do? 

I get up and walk around the corner. I see him, standing by the bookshelf, hands covering his mouth. His eyes are shut. I walk over to him and lick my lips before I speak.  

“Ben?” I whisper. His eyes flash open and peers down at me. “Are you okay?” he nods his head and steps away from the bookshelf. He pulls it away from the wall like a door and sighs. 

“Turn around.” he says. 

“Wh-”

“Just do it...” I do as I’m told and turn my back to him. I hear him enter the code into the keypad and the door beeps open. “Come on.” he says. I turn around and look down at the stairs. The light isn't on... it's so dark... “Down you go.”

“But... Ben...”

“Go.” he says. 

“But...” his eyes are serious now... not... caring how they were while he was cooking. “...I didn’t finish eating...”

“I’ll bring it down to you. Now go.” I watch him for a moment and bite the inside of my cheek. I take a step forward and look down the stairs. I turn to him and sigh. 

“I’ll be good...” I promise. He blinks a few times and nods his head. 

“I know... I know you will. But... I can’t have you here right now.” he admits. “I can’t have you up here with me...” I just look at him and he sighs. “Please go lamb...” I do as he says and start to walk down the stairs. I hear the door beep and I turn around. The door is closed. I finish going down the stairs and sigh as I run my hand along the wall, searching for the light switch. When the light illuminates the basement I see my bed. I go over to it and take a seat. I screwed it up... I made a mistake... I shouldn’t have touched him...

\--

Later the door beeps open and I smile when I see him. In his hands he has a tray. On it is a bowl full of soup and another piece of bread. Along with a water bottle. He sets it next to me on the bed and that's when I see something in his other hand. A book. He holds it out to me and I just stare at it.

“Here. To keep your mind busy.” I don’t reach out and he sighs. “Just take it lamb...” I take the book from him and read the cover. Stardust. My favorite. I feel tears well in my eyes and sigh. 

“Thank you...” I look up at him and smile. “Thank you, Ben.”

“You’re welcome.” and he walks away. I hear the door beep twice and I run my fingers over the cover. I smile and tears fall onto the cover. I wipe them away quickly and hold the book to my chest. 

“Thank you...” I say. Even though I know he’s not here...

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I stare at the line of women standing on the sidewalk and try and choose one. But... in the end... it doesn’t matter which one it is. I just need to... get rid of this desire. It’s easy to tell if there is an undercover cop. They dress with more... sensibility. Covering their assets, so to speak. The coast is clear. I go over and walk by until I get to the last girl in line. Brown hair... tight jean skirt and a pink halter top. She turns to me and smiles. 

“Hey handsome? Need some company?” she asks while stomping out a cigarette. I just nod my head so she holds out her hand and I take it. “I’m Natasha.” she says. I nod my head and begin to walk away from the street. She keeps up with my pace and as soon as I get out from under the lights of the street I pull her into an alley. I push her against the brick wall and she gasps. “You have a name?” she asks. I shake my head. “Tall, dark and mysterious I see. Well...” and she pushes me away. “It’s $150 for the back. $100 for the front. $50 for a bj.” I take out my wallet and give her two fifties. She looks down and starts to fumble with her purse, so I pull out the needle and push it into her neck. She halts and falls to the ground. A lightweight. The money falls to the floor, so I pick it up and put it back into my wallet. I slip on my gloves and take ahold of her. I throw her into a pile of garbage further down the alley and lift her skirt up. I throw down her underwear and unzip my pants. I grab a condom from my side pocket, open the package and slip it on. I stare down at her and sigh. 

She’s not what I want. She’s not who I want. 

I go down to my knees pull her to me. I flip her over and spread her legs.

But... I can’t... couldn’t do this to my little lamb. 

I push inside her loose walls and lose myself for a moment or two.

\--

I quickly have my fill and take the blade from my back pocket. I quickly slice her throat open and watch as the blood floods down her body. I smile softly and let out a breath.

That’s better...

Her body doesn’t move and inch and soon... there’s blood pooling around her. I wish I could have heard her scream but... this needed to be quick. I need to get back to Rey. I take a moment to breathe and leave down the alley. I turn to my left to see there is no one coming. I go to the right and walk back around to my car. 

I get inside and take a moment to breathe. I watch as a car goes by, stops a few feet from me and lets out a woman. She waves and hurries onto the sidewalk. I pull from my parking spot and hurry before someone finds my handiwork. I normally don’t leave the bodies in plain sight but I don’t have the time to go to my dumping ground like I did with Laura or the others. I used protection, I kept my hands clean. I’m fine.

I pull onto the highway and head home.

\--

I pull into my driveway and into the garage. I turn off the car then enter my security code by the kitchen door and enter.  I shut the blinds on the door and walk into the living room. I take a seat in my chair and check on Rey. She’s on the bed, lying down the book held above her. I smile and lean my head into my hands. I’m glad she’s happy with the book. 

Since I found a very worn copy on her bedside table along with an anniversary edition in her bookshelf; I had to get one myself. I found the book enjoyable. Mostly for her sake. I only read it the once so most of the story was lost on me. Something about a man in love searching for a star. I watch her read for a few more moments and admire how dedicated she is to it. It is her favorite after all. I exit the program and head into the kitchen. I grab myself a beer and open it. I take a swig and lick my lips. I take a seat on the dining table and try to push back the thought of her touching me. It was only a graze. I was barely able to call it touching. Her fingertip just lightly danced across my skin and I felt like I was on fire. She touched me. On purpose. 

She put my glasses into place after I ran my thumb under her bottom lip. Just catching the broth that didn’t make it into her mouth. I was used to touching her... but... her doing it to me... was a new experience. Yes, she had held my hand an hour before hand but... that’s because I held it out to her. To help her keep her balance. And she didn’t touch me to push me away like when I had to pick her up multiple times... it was different. And I saw it in her eyes.

I saw the desire, the same desire I had witnessed in my own eyes; time and time again. For that split second... she wanted me...

For that second... we were on the same page. 

I finish my beer, toss it into the recycling bin and head to my room. I strip from my sweater and jeans and climb into the sheets. I lay my head on the pillow and shut my eyes. I nuzzle my face into the pillow and breathe in the slight smell of her. She slept in my bed... her body rested here... I clutch onto the pillow and sigh. 

One step closer. She’s one step closer to being completely mine...

\--

I head down to my lamb with a bowl of oatmeal with almonds. Along with a glass of orange juice. She smiles when she sees me and I smile back. 

“Thank you.” she says. 

“You’re welcome.” She holds out her hands and takes the bowl. She digs into her meal and I happily watch her eat. “I’m glad you found your appetite.” I say. She nods her head. 

“Yeah... I... I don’t know what I was thinking...”

“You wanted to kill yourself.” she stops eating and stares up at me with her big brown eyes. “Not the best way to go though I must say.” she looks down at her food and I sigh. She takes another bite then a drink of juice. I lay on the bed and let my legs fall over the side. She continues to eat and soon I hear her voice again. 

“Thank you.” she says. 

“You already thanked me lamb.” 

“No... for... saving me.” I turn my head and see she’s watching me. “I’m glad... I’m glad you helped me Ben.” she says. “I... I’m glad I’m not dead. So... thank you.” 

“You, are very welcome Rey.” she smiles down at me and I see her food is gone. I grab the bowl and glass and get off the bed. I collect the things from last night and head to the stairs but she calls out to me. 

“Ben.” I turn back to her. 

“Yes?”

“Can we talk now?”

“You want to talk?” I ask. She nods her head. 

“Yeah... I do...”

“Why?”

“You promised me we’d talk...” 

“I did didn’t I?” I go back to her and set the items on the table. I get back on the bed and she smiles. “Okay, what do you want to talk about?” I ask. 

“I don’t know... you know so much about me... I’d like to know about you.”

“There’s not much to know...”

“Come on, of course there is. Um...” she thinks a moment and smiles. “What’s your favorite color?”

“My favorite color? Really?”

“Uh huh. What is it?” I try not to laugh and answer. 

“Green.”

“Like the sheets?” she asks. 

“Yeah. Like dark green.”

“Okay, mine’s purple.” I nod my head. “Um... favorite book?”

“Jurassic Park.” I say. “It’s also my favorite movie.” 

“I saw the poster... in your room.” I nod my head. “Well, you know my favorite book, um my favorite movie is Cry-Baby.” 

“Now that I didn’t know.” I admit. 

“Really? What kind of a stalker are you?” she asks with a laugh. I smirk and shake my head. 

“You're really making jokes about me stalking you?" I ask. She nods her head.

"Yeah... I mean. I'm scared out of my mind but... what I am supposed to do about it?" She asks. 

"True... and for the record I’m quite a good stalker I followed you for a year and four months, I’m literally a professional." I explain. "And... you never watched that movie...”

“No, my copy got lost a few years ago and I never got around to getting another.”

“Ah, I see.” we stay quiet for a moment then she speaks. 

"Tell me everything you know.” she says. 

“Excuse me?”

“Tell me everything you know about me.”

“No.” I answer maybe a little too quickly. 

“Why?”

“Because... you’re not ready for that, not yet.”

“It’s that bad?” she asks. 

“Yes, let’s leave it at that.” I say. “Um, tell me where you went to school?”

“Oh, okay. I went to college here in the city, um West Valley High, and the middle school was right across from there. Um, I went to three or four different elementary schools. Uh... I was in foster care until I was eighteen so... I went where I was allowed to.” she answers. That’s another thing I didn’t know. Foster care... what happened to her parents? 

“What... why were you in foster care?” I ask. 

“Um... well... I was apparently left at a fire station when I was four. My parents were nowhere to be found...” she says. “I... I used to think they’d find me one day. I even tried to run away a few times and try to find them. But... the older I got... the sillier it sounded. They... left me. They didn’t want me so...” I try and ignore the anger rising in my belly... what kind of parents do that? Who leaves a four-year-old all alone?! But then again... my father wasn’t the best parent either... “Anyway. Where did you go to school?” she asks; changing the subject. I want to know more but... I shouldn’t push her. I don’t want to open old wounds. 

“College out of state, um and I was home schooled.”

“Any particular reason?”

“No, mom was just worried about me.” I answer. I can’t tell her about my father... how he beat us... how she was adamant on keeping me with her 24/7. She thought she could protect me... somewhat...

“Did she think you were going to turn into a serial killer?” I smile at another joke. 

“Ha, ha. No, I was the only kid, she smothered me. So... yeah... public school scared her and private school was out of the question.” she nods her head. I sigh and wish I could tell her everything. About mom... about my father... about... Mrs. Phasma... 

I shudder at the thought of her and change the subject. 

“Okay, let's see...”

We continue this for a while and somehow, we end up lying next to each other, staring up at the ceiling...

\--

Rey’s POV

\--

I smile as Ben hands me three more books. Two I've read before and the other...

"Jurassic Park?" He nods his head. 

"Thought you might enjoy it." He explains. 

"Thank you. I'm sure I will." His favorite...

The other two... The Girl on the Train and Pride and Prejudice. Both books I've read over and over again, well when I had time. Which wasn't much anymore. With my job and all. I sigh and watch as he just stands there. "What?" I ask.

"Nothing."

"Do you want to sit?" I ask. He shakes his head. 

"No not right now..." And he trails off. 

Oh...

"Oh... okay. Um..."

"I'll be back soon." He says. "And... maybe after... we could talk some more."

"Okay..." He just nods his head and leaves. I put the books down and frown. 

He's... going to get someone else... I know it...

I shake my head and shut my eyes a moment. No... don't think about it. I tell myself. Just don't think about it. I grab Jurassic Park and flip to the first page. I take a breath and begin to read.

\--

I wake up to the sound of his voice. I roll over and see him standing at the side of the bed, holding a brown paper bag. I close my eyes another moment and sit myself up. I rub my face and yawn before opening my eyes again. He hands me the bag and I open it. Inside is a large foil package. I take it out and open one side of the foil. It's a burrito. I take a bite and see it's filled with egg, cheese and ham. With salsa. It must be breakfast time. I smile up at him and swallow. 

"Thank you. You went out for breakfast?" I ask.

"No. I just got in. I got one too, mine was a little too spicy but it was ok." 

"Oh..." I look into his eyes and see they're bloodshot. "What were you doing... all night?" I ask. He just stares down at me and sighs. 

"I had... to take care of some things." I nod my head and take another bite. I chew and see a small stain on his sweater. 

…

Blood...

"And do you feel better?" I ask. He nods his head. 

"Yeah." Is all he says. 

"Can we talk then?" I ask.

"Yes... after I... shower."

"Can I shower too?" I ask.

"You want a shower?" He asks. I nod. 

"Yes please. If... that's alright I mean." I say. "Because... I haven't been clean since... you bathed me..."

"That was five days ago." He says. "And sure. Let me take mine first. Then I'll come get you."

"Okay. Thank you." He gives me an awkward smile and heads up the stairs. I hear the beeps and return to my breakfast. 

\--

After my burrito is done and I've started reading again he comes back down. I gape up at him with I see he's dressed in a pair of pajama pants and a white muscle shirt. Fuck...

His hair is dripping wet and his arms... oh his arms...

They're crossed over his chest, making the veins visible...

"Ready?" He asks. 

"Y-yes!" I quickly say. I put the book down and go over to him. 

"Will you be good?" He asks. 

"I will. I... just want to get clean." He nods his head and turns. I follow him and soon we're in the hall. I look to the front door as he shuts the metal door and bookcase. As he does I go to the right and to the bathroom. I go in and see there is a towel laid out. He comes in after me and stands next to the door. I turn to him and see he's watching. 

"Privacy?" I ask. "Please?"

"No, not yet. You can undress behind the curtain though."

"...okay." I step into the tub and shut the dark blue curtain. I tug it as closed as it can get and lift the sweater shirt off me. I set it on the rim of the tub and take off my panties and bra. I get my clothes and push them outside of the tub. I turn to the shower head and down at the knobs. I begin to mess with them and soon the shower turns on. I flinch at the warmth of the water and put my head underneath the spray.  I moan and let the water soothe me. I reach for a bar of soap and begin to lather it over myself. 

"If you'd like..." I hear him say. "I'll buy you the shampoo and soap you want."

"I'd like that... thank you..." I rinse and grab the bottle of shampoo. I read the scent. Mountain Clean... I squirt some into my hand and sniff. It's manly... not flowery like my normal shampoo. I throw it into my hair and wash. I put my head back under the spray and stand there a few moments. I don't know when he'll let me do this again, so I savor the feeling. 

I turn off the water and just stand there... what now...? A towel appears at the front of the shower. I take it and begin to dry myself. 

"Thank you." He doesn't say anything and soon I'm dry so I wrap the towel around me tight and get out from behind the curtain. I look down and see my clothes are missing. I look up and see he's holding some.

"I'm washing your underwear." He says. "And... if you want... I'll buy some new ones, and clothes too. Anything you need." I nod my head. 

"Okay. Yeah... that'd be nice." He holds out the clothes to me. 

"They'll be big on you. But, I'm sure you don't want to be naked." I shake my head. "That's what I thought." I take them and he sighs. "I'll turn around." And he does. He turns so he's looking into the hallway so I quickly change into what he's given me. A pair of red boxers and another long-sleeved sweater shirt. This one is white though. I wrap my hair in the towel and pile it on top of my head before I clear my throat. He looks over his shoulder and then turns around completely. "Okay... down we go." I force a smile and follow him back down to the basement.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi and happy Monday! REY'S FEELINGS ARE CHANGING!! (for the better?)

Chapter Seven - 

\--

**Rey's POV**

\--

I look down at the pad of paper and think. Ben said to write down anything I want or need, so... what exactly do I need? I tap the pen to the paper and nod my head. I just have to write a normal grocery list.

**_-Shampoo/conditioner (anything flowery)_ **

**_-Soap (liquid not bar)_ **

**_-Toothbrush/toothpaste_ **

**_-Underwear_ **

**_-Shirts_ **

**_-Pants_ **

**_-PJs_ **

**_-Hairbrush_ **

**_-Mirror_ **

**_-Deodorant_ **

**_-Tampons_ **

**_-A fa_ ** _n_

I read over the list and think if the fan was too much... but it is getting hot down here. I put the paper and pen to the side and pick up my book. Ben said he wouldn't be back too soon because he had to work. What does he do anyway? That's one of the things I didn't think to ask him. I mean... how can he afford a security system like he has or that door... it seems expensive. And... as far as I know... he only leaves to...

I shake my head and focus on reading. 

\--

Ben reads over my list and mouths the words as he does. I watch him and hope I didn't overstep...

"Okay. I'll be back soon." He says. 

"Alright... thank you." He smiles down at me and sighs. 

"Sorry, I didn't think to bring a fan down. Is it that hot?" He asks. 

"Um... it's getting there. And there aren't any windows to open so..."

"Okay. Well I have an extra one, so I don't have to buy one. I'll bring it down before I go."

"Thank you." He nods his head, puts the paper and pen into his back pocket and leaves. 

I wait for him and soon he comes down with a black fan. He sets it down and looks around the basement. 

"Here we go." He says. He takes it to the end of the bed and bends down quickly. He stands back up and turns on the fan. It starts to go around and I sigh at the immediate cool air. 

"Thank you."

"No problem." He says. He turns to me and smiles. "Alright, I'm going now. I'll be back soon."

"Okay." And he walks up the stairs. I hear the door beeps and lay down on the bed. I stretch my arms out and enjoy the air.

\--

I fall sleep in front of the fan while I read and when I wake up, Ben is back. I open my eyes and see he's gently setting bags near the bed. I smile sleepily and sit up. 

"Hi." I say. 

"Hi, I didn't want to wake you."

"That's alright..." I look at the bags and he sighs. He picks them up and puts them next to me on the bed. 

"I got everything you asked for." He says. "I'm sorry if the... tampons aren’t the right size... I had no idea which to get."

"Oh... I'm sorry I forgot to put that down!" I begin to search through the bags and see he's gotten the right size. "Oh, these are right." I say.

"They are?"

"Yeah. Good job."

"It wasn't me... a saleslady helped me. I said I wasn't sure which and that my girlfriend didn't have her phone on her..."

"Oh." I put the box down and smile. "Thank you Ben. This will help... a lot."

"I hope so. I want you to be... comfortable, here." I nod my head. 

"I know you do..." He smiles and claps his hands together. 

"Okay, we're having salad for dinner. You're going to want the thousand island on the side right?" The question takes me back a moment and I nod my head. 

"Yeah, that's right."

"Alright. I'll be back down soon." And he heads up the stairs. I look at the bags and smile to myself. He's trying... he really is...

\--

I smile as Ben picks up my plate and stands. I get Pride and Prejudice off the bedside table and snuggle into my covers. He smiles down at me and sighs.

"I'll see you tomorrow lamb." He says.

"Okay. Night." 

"Good night." And he heads out. I hear the door beep close and I lay down. I open up to where I left off and start reading. 

I read for awhile, until I've gotten through three chapters then set it down. I put it to the side and get up to switch off the light. As the light goes off, I walk back to my bed and get comfortable. I shut my eyes and try to go to sleep. 

…

…

…

I open my eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. This... this hasn't happened since I've been here. That all too familiar ache between my legs is back and with vengeance. I don't know how long it's been... but...

I turn over onto my other side and try to calm myself. You don't need it. You don't need it...

I turn onto my back and almost want to slap my hand as it slips inside my new grey and pink flowered pajama pants. It goes right under my new panties and my fingers quickly find my clit. I sigh and put my head back to the pillow. I lick my lips and let out a raged breath. I run my fingers along the bundle of nerves and I shut my eyes. I don't need something to think about, but... it always helped before...

Who was the last man...

David?

No... Poe...

I imagine Poe... with his curly dark hair and toned thighs... 

...and his fingers are the one's bringing me closer and closer to my orgasm, not my own. My hips rise to meet my fingers and I quicken my pace. I just need this over with... I don't need slow and steady... 

...I see his tall frame and his strong arms... his large hands... and his glasses. Wait... no... that's not...

His jet-black hair and his pale skin... his tattoo across his peck and his... oh god...

His dark eyes... always staring... always watching...

His lips... full and always saying... lamb...

My fingers move faster and moans escape my lips...

And then...

"Ben!"

My orgasm rips through me and I halt my fingers. I catch my breath and remove my hand. I turn onto my side and feel tears falling onto my face, so I turn my head more and let the pillow catch them. I just breathe and when my heartbeat starts to steady again I open my eyes. I stare into the darkness and put my other hand to my chest. 

What in the hell was I thinking? Why would I think of him?! And then... a red light catches my eye. I sit up quickly and the light turns off.

He was watching...

\--

**Ben's POV**

\--

I exit out of the program and turn around in my chair. I stare into the kitchen and try to keep calm. She... she touched herself... 

I didn't mean to watch. Well... this time. When she was at her apartment... I did... a few more times than I'd like to admit. But... as far as I know... she hasn't done that here. I take off my glasses, set them on the desk and cover my face with my hands. 

I couldn't turn away, I couldn't turn it off. Not until she sat up and stared right at the camera. I feel dirty... I feel like invaded her privacy. But... that's every day, so why do I feel guilty? Not guilty enough to stop watching but... how could I? When it was right in front of me? I slide out of my chair and onto the floor. I lay down and lay my arms out to my sides. I stare up at the ceiling and sigh. 

And the worse part?

She said my name...

Those two syllables escaped her lips while she came... 

I shut my eyes and smile. 

She wants me... deep down. 

\--

I walk down the street and head to the grocery store. I don't need much today but Rey needed more... feminine products. It’s her first period since being with me. And… she said since she’s off her birth control. Her hormones are out of whack. Making her bleed more than normal. So the one box I bought isn’t going to cut it. 

I listen to the music through my earbud and stop in my tracks as I get closer to the entrance. 

Rose... 

My Rey’s Rose. Her dark hair is pulled back into a pony tail and she’s dressed in a pair of jean shorts and a white top. 

She's standing in front of the grocery store... handing out fliers... 

Rey was never in this part of town, so why in the hell is Rose here?! 

I continue to walk, but as I pass by her she holds out a flier. Right in front of my face. I take it and she speaks. 

"Hi, my name's Rose. I'm looking for my friend Rey. She's been missing for over three weeks. Have you seen her?" She asks. I don't look at her and stare at the photo of Rey. It’s one of the ones they took on their trip to Vegas. Oh I remember Vegas… I almost took her then…

"Uh... sorry no." I shrug and walk into the store. I crumple the flier and shove it into my pocket. I grab a hand-held basket and go to the bath products. I go down the aisle from last time and get the same box of tampons. I put them into the basket and think of what else I need. I get out my notepad and see Rey's small list. 

**_-Tampons_ **

**_-Another book please_ **

**_-Something sweet_ **

**_-Nacho cheese chips_ **

I sigh and go to the small book section the store has by the magazines. I look through them and don’t find anything I think she'll like. I'll let her look at my books and pick something to read. I go to the food next and grab the chips she wanted and go to the cookie aisle. I look up and down it. But then I think of something. She hasn't had ice cream in a while. I head to the freezer section and pick out two cartons. Plain chocolate and strawberry cheesecake. She had both flavors in her freezer, along with others marked with Rose’s name. Pistachio and birthday cake if I remember correctly. I also grab a package of waffle cones and head to the cashier. 

As I'm heading out the door I see Rose... I walk right past her and keep going to my car. All along hearing her say Rey's name, over and over again. To those who will listen.. Once I'm in my car I get out the crumpled flier she gave me. I look at the picture of my lamb and sigh. There's no use in looking. I have her now. She's mine. I crumple the paper again and roll down my window. I throw it out and drive back home. 

\--

I hand my lamb the ice cream cone and she licks up the side of it. 

"Sorry, it's melting." I say. 

"No, it's better this way." I watch as her tongue licks upward and goes into the sweet treat. I swallow the sudden dryness of my mouth and shake my head. 

"Oh, and I didn't find I book you'd like. But, if you're good. You can come up and pick one from my collection."

"Really?" She asks. 

"Yes."

"I'll be good Ben." I smile. 

"I know you will..." I think a moment and watch as she eats the ice cream, some falls onto her thigh and I can't help the thought of running my tongue over it and going higher... and higher... Ben... Ben...

I snap out of my day dream and see she's talking to me. 

"Ben?" She asks. 

"Sorry..." I say. "What?"

"I was asking how you're feeling...?" She noticed. She noticed my absence. 

"Um, I'm fine. Why?"

"You... just looked spaced out..."

"Oh... I'm fine lamb. Just thinking." She nods her head and takes a bite of ice cream. I sigh and wonder... what if I brought another girl... someone less aggressive then Laura. Someone who would be more... submissive. "Lamb?" I ask. She looks up at me. 

"Yeah?"

"How would you feel about another guest?" I ask. Her eyes widen and she crosses her legs. 

"Why?"

"You know why."

"But... um... I..."

"Lamb?"

"Why do you have to?" She asks. "And why here? I mean... I know you went out and did it fine. And I didn't have to see it." Her answer shocks me. 

"You knew?"

"Yes... when you come home with bloodshot eyes and blood-stained clothes... it gets obvious. And... you're... calmer and happier afterward." She says. "You stop being quiet and you talk to me..." She stops and sighs. "Just... don't do it here. Please? I don't want to hear it, or see it. Or anything. I... don't mind if you... no of course I mind but..."

"You don't want to see it." She nods her head. 

"It scared me with Laura, and... I can't see that again Ben... I can't..." I see tears welling in her eyes and I take a step forward. She goes back to the wall... I scared her... 

"Okay." I say. "No more guests. I'll... do my work somewhere else." She smiles.

"Thank you." 

"Of course. At the end of the day I want you happy lamb."

"I know you do. That'll make me happy. I... I don't..."

"I get it." I say. She takes a bite of the waffle cone and sips some of the melted ice cream from it. "Good?" I ask. 

"Yeah. I love chocolate, and I was craving something sweet."

"I know. I'll bring your chips down tomorrow with lunch."

"Okay Ben." I smile and she smiles back. 

"Okay." And I leave her. I shut the bookcase behind me go to my desk. I have a few hours to go online and make some more money. And... it'll keep my mind of Rey, which will in turn keep me from thinking about my next victim. I slip on my headset and log into the company page. Once it says I'm online, calls start coming in. I sigh and answer the first one. 

"Hi this is Ben from Reddington Electronic Services. How can I help you tonight?" 

\--

Three hours later I log off and check on Rey. She's reading Stardust again. I get up and head to the door. I enter the code and once the door is open I call down to her. 

"Lamb! Come pick a book out!" I hear her foot steps and soon she appears in front of me. Dressed in her pajamas. I can't help but smile. I step aside and she walks into the hall. I close the door and the bookshelf and she starts to look through it. She runs her fingertips over the spines and soon she finds one. She slips it from it's home and I see she's picked Interview With A Vampire. "Good choice." I say. 

"I've only read it once before so..." She clutches it to her chest and looks up at me. "Um... Ben?" She asks. 

"Yes lamb?"

"...can... can I...?"

"Can you what?" I ask. 

"Can I... sleep up here tonight?" I pause and sigh. 

"Rey..."

"Please? I'll be good. I'll be quiet or... anything you want. Just... please?" I think a moment. 

"And where do you expect to sleep?" I ask. "The guest bedroom? It's a basically a storage locker." She shakes her head. 

"No... with you." And I swear my heart stops. 

"With me?" She nods. 

"Yeah... I remember your bed was so comfy when I was in it last and... it's really hot down there..."

"It is..."'

"So... please?" She asks. I chew the inside of my cheek and sigh. 

"Okay. Fine. But... if you try anything lamb. I swear..."

"I won't Ben. I promise." 

"Okay. I'm going to head to bed in about an hour or so. After I watch my show."

"What show?" She asks. 

"Chopped..." She smiles. 

"Really?"

"Yes really. I like cooking." She nods her head. 

"Okay. Can I...?"

"Yes. You can. Go sit on the couch." And before I can do anything, or even think. She wraps her arms around me and hugs. I don't hug her back and she lays her head to my chest. 

"Thank you Ben." I finally put my arms around her and let myself kiss the top of her head. 

"You're welcome. Now go." She lets go of me and takes a seat on the couch. I sigh and go to her. I sit down next to her, grab the remote and turn to the TV. I flip off the lights and go to the dvr. I start the show and she picks up her legs underneath her. I smile to myself and almost think... this is normal...

\--

As it gets closer to bedtime. I get more and more nervous. She's going to be sleeping in the same bed as me. I turn off the TV and switch on the lights. She yawns and stretches her arms out. 

"Go to the bedroom." I say. "And wait."

"Okay." She picks up the book and heads down the hallway. I watch her go and head to the front door. I make sure it's locked at the security system is armed. I check the kitchen door and when I'm through I breathe into my hands. It'll be fine. I tell myself. It's just sleeping. I can do that. 

I turn off the lights and head to the bedroom. I see her sitting on the edge of the bed, and the book is on the dresser. 

"Get in." I say. "Near the wall. I don't need you trying to sneak away."

"I won't." She answers. But she does as I say. She slides under the covers and sits next to the wall. I throw off my shirt, and put on a black muscle shirt. Then switch from jeans to a pair of grey sweats and turn off the light. I shut the door and climb into my bed. She lays down and puts her head on the extra pillow. I put my head down and close my eyes. I feel her legs against mine slightly and shut my eyes tighter. Just sleeping... just sleeping...

I feel her move a little more and soon she stops. I peak, and see she's on her side. Facing me. I close my eyes again and sigh. 

"Goodnight my lamb." I say. 

"Night Ben... thank you." I nod my head and let out a breath. 

Sleeping...

…

…

…

I dream I'm kissing her. I dream she's under me, running her fingers through my hair and pulling me as close as she can get me. She runs her tongue over my lips and I allow her entrance. Her tongue slips into my mouth and she moans. I run my hands up her thighs and hold her to me...

…

I open my eyes and see her. Awake. My vision is blurry but I see her, staring at me. 

"Can't sleep lamb?" I ask. 

"Yeah..."

"Why? I thought you said my bed was comfortable?"

"It is but..."

"But what?" She just looks at me and I sigh. I turn over and grab my glasses from the bedside table. I put them on and turn my head. I see her clearly now and I smile. "What's wrong lamb?" I ask. She stays quiet a moment and closes her eyes.

"...I... want you to kiss me..." She whispers. 

...there's no way... she said that. 

I’m dreaming... I have to be dreaming...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut in this chapter... sorry. But! It will be here soon I PROMISE!

Chapter Eight-

\--

**Rey's POV**

\--

"…I... want you to kiss me..." I keep my eyes closed and wait for him to say something. But, he doesn't. I open my eyes and see him, just staring. "Ben...?" He blinks and shuts his eyes. "Ben?" He opens his eyes again and sighs. 

"I'm... not dreaming..."

"...no." he doesn't say anything and I sigh. "...will you?" I ask. 

I feel weird asking him. But... I can't help thinking about it. About him. And... I did have an ulterior motive asking to sleep upstairs tonight. I was hoping he would... want me. I know he does... and now... I want him...

"No." He says. 

"Why?" I ask. "I wan-"

"No, you don't." He cuts me off.

"Yes I do. I want you..." I say. His eyes flutter as I say this and I continue. "I do. And you said... you wouldn't have sex with me until I was... ready and willing. That's exactly what you said." I inch closer to him. "I'm ready..."

"No... you're not lamb." I shut my eyes and sigh. 

"Yes I am. I want you..." I get out from under the covers and straddle him. His eyes widen as he stares up at me and I put my hands to his chest. I can see his tattoo peaking from the muscle shirt. I run my finger over one of the lines I see and he tenses under my touch. "Please..." I feel his erection under me and sigh. I move my hips slightly and he groans. "Please Ben..." He shuts his eyes a moment and I wait. Please... please... please...

He opens his eyes and before I can think. I'm on my back. I gasp as I land on the mattress and see him towering over me. His legs are on the outside of mine so I can't wrap my legs around him... I can just lay there. I put my hands to his arms and moan as I feel his muscles. I writhe under him and try to make our bodies touch. But he's too high. I want him close... 

"Ben..." I plead. He leans closer and I close my eyes. Yes... yes please. I feel his breath on my face and then I feel his lips on my forehead. He rests there for a moment and the next thing I know... he's off me. 

I open my eyes and see him standing by the bed. I sit up and go closer to him. 

"Be-“ and he gathers me in his arms. He lifts me off the bed and holds me to him. I wrap my legs around him and he seems confused. I tangle my fingers in his long hair and bring his face to mine but before I can kiss him; one of his hands goes over my mouth. He holds me up with one arm and I look into his eyes. 

"No." He says. I mummer his name into his hand and he shakes his head. "No." He says again. I shut my eyes in frustration and try not to cry. I want sex... I want it with him... and... 

...he's rejecting me.

He uncovers my mouth and holds me with two arms. 

"Why?" I cry. "Why don't you want me?"

"I do. Oh, I do.” he growls. “But... you're not ready."

"Yes I am!" I yell. He scolds me with his eyes and I put my head to his shoulder. I rub my cheek on his skin and sigh. "Please... I'm ready..." I whine. 

"Almost my lamb. Almost." And he begins to walk. I hear something move; then some light beeping. I open my eyes and see we're in the hallway. And then...

BEEP

No... I turn around and see we're going down the stairs. 

"No... no... no please Ben!" I cry. 

"I'm sorry lamb. I thought I could do it but I can't. I can't have you with me.”

"Please. I'll be good. I won't try anything!"

"Yes you will." He tries to let me go but I stay wrapped around him. 

"No, please. I promise I'll be good."

"You need to sleep down here lamb." And he goes to set me down. I keep my legs around his waist and he sighs. "Lamb, stop."

"Ben please let me stay with you."

"I'm sorry..." I clutch onto him tighter and put my head to his shoulder. "Let go and get off." He demands. 

"No..." I nuzzle my face into his shoulder and stay how I am. 

"I can't do it." He says. "I can't have you with me."

"I'll be good... I promise I'll be good Ben. I'll stay near the wall. I'll put a pillow between us, please. Don't make me stay down here." I feel his arms tighten around me slightly and he sighs. 

"Rey..."

"Please... I don't want to be down here anymore..." I say. "I'll do whatever you want..." I hold onto him and cry. “Please Ben... I want to be with you...” And he gives in.

"...okay. But... you'll do exactly as I say lamb."

"I will. I promise." And he begins to walk again. We go up the stairs and the door beeps as he closes it. He pushes the bookcase back with his arm and puts it back under me. I keep my head on his shoulder then I feel my butt on something soft. I open my eyes and see we're in his bedroom. I smile and let go of him. I sit on the bed and he puts his hands to his face. I watch him as he sighs and uncovers his face. He looks down at me and smiles slightly. 

"Get over on your side." He says. I do and get under the covers. My side... 

I lay down and smile up at him. He takes off his glasses, sets them to the side and gets in next to me. He turns on his side and faces me. I smile and he shuts his eyes. "Just... stay." He says. "No touching... or anything of the sort do you understand?" he asks. 

"I understand..."

"Good. Now sleep."

"Okay... night Ben..." he opens his eyes and stares at me. 

"Good night lamb." And he shuts his eyes. I smile to myself and close my eyes. 

This isn't what I wanted... but it's better than being alone...

\--

I wake up to the smell of... bacon. I open my eyes and it takes me a moment to remember I'm in Ben's bedroom. This is what I wanted...

I snuggle into the covers and turn on my side. I face the wall and shut my eyes again. I want to get up and go to where the delicious smell is... but this bed is comfy...

…

"Lamb... lamb..." I open my eyes and look over my shoulder. Ben is standing by the bed, changed into a button-down blue shirt and jeans... "Time to wake up now. Breakfast is done."

"Okay..." he walks out of the room and turns to the right. I lay on my back and stretch my arms out. I smile and pull myself out of his bed. I stretch my arms above me and walk to the kitchen. I sniff the air and smell bacon, eggs... and something else. I get into the kitchen and shiver as the linoleum touches my bare feet. On the table I see two plates. Both filled with bacon, scrambled eggs and biscuits. I smile and Ben turns from the stove. He smiles at me and turns with a pan of something. He takes it to the table and sets it on a cloth. He sits where one plate is and a take a seat in front of the other. He gets a spoon from the table and puts it into the pan. Oh it's gravy; with sausage in it. He spoons some onto his biscuits and I take ahold of the spoon. I put more gravy on than I should and start to eat. 

Once I'm done he picks up the dishes and takes them to the sink. I get up and go to him. 

"I'll do it." I say. He looks down at me. 

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah... you do all the cooking so..."

"Okay. If you want to." And he steps out of my way. I turn on the water and grab a yellow sponge and the soap. I smile as the smell of green apple fills the air and I begin. 

I rinse my hands and dry them on the towel next to me. I turn around and see Ben sitting at the table, scrolling through a phone. Until now... I didn’t know he had one. I knew... he _had_  to but... he’s never been on it. I just watch him and resist the urge to steal his phone. I could call Rose... I could call 911 and get the hell out of here. But, I know... deep down, I won’t. I’m scared of him... and attracted to him at the same time. And he’s strong, very strong. I know there’s no way to overpower him. 

He looks up at me and smiles. 

“Thank you.” he says. I can’t but smile and nod my head. 

“You’re welcome.” he looks back at his phone and sighs. 

“I have to leave soon. So, you’ll have to go back down.”

“But...”

“Do you want to continue to sleep with me lamb?” he asks. I nod my head. “Then you will do as I say.” he says in a stern voice. I don’t say anything and he sighs. “Don’t make me be stern with you. I don’t want that. But, you have to listen.” 

“Okay...” I mumble.

“You don’t have to go right now, but when I say... you won’t hesitate lamb.”

“Alright.” 

“Good girl.” and he looks at his phone again and puts it in his pocket. I sit in the chair next to him and smile. 

“Where are you going?” I ask. 

“I have a meeting.”

“For what?”

“Nothing really.”

“Oh...” he looks up at me and sighs. 

“I’m meeting with someone. A friend.”

“Who?” I ask. He smiles. 

“No one you know.”

“I’d like to.”

“No, you wouldn’t. He's... not stable.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s like me.” I think a moment and it hits me. 

“Oh...” I mutter. “So... why are you-?”

“I need things from him and he needs things from me.” he says. “We trade... our specialties.” I just nod my head. 

“And... what’s your specialty?” I ask. 

“Electronics. Bugs, cameras, security.” he explains. “And I’m going to be getting some Etorphine and some GHB from him. Maybe some Ketamine too...” 

“...what?”

“Drugs.” he says. 

“You’re a junkie?” I ask. He chuckles. 

“Oh no. Nothing like that.” he says. “It’s what I use for my... activities.”

“Oh. So... you drugged me...” it makes sense... I don’t remember much after I was searching for Rose... “What did you give me then?” I ask. He just stares at me and sighs. 

“You don’t need to know that.” he says. “All you need to know, is that it worked.” he gets up from his chair and goes into the living room. He sits at the computer screens and begins to tinker with something on the desk. I just watch him and stay where I am. After a few minutes he turns around. “You can watch TV lamb. I’m going to be busy until I go.” I get off the chair and go to the couch. He throws me the TV remote and I catch it, thankfully. He smiles and returns to the small device in his hands. 

I take a seat on the couch and turn on the TV. I smile as it comes to life and a sitcom starts to play. I open the guide and look for something to watch. 

\--

An hour later... he’s leaving. I turn off the TV and stand as he gets up from the computers. He goes to the bookcase and pulls on it. The metal door shows and I sigh. 

“Turn around.” he says. I do and when I hear the beep, I turn back. I go to the opening and he sighs. “I won’t be gone long. And you have books down there to keep you company.”

“Okay...”

“If you promise to be good... I’ll bring you a treat.”

“Like what?” I ask. He smiles down at me and I can’t help but smile back. I... like him. 

“You’ll see. Just be good.” I go down a few steps and turn. 

“Not long?” I ask. 

“No.” he says while he shaking his head. “Not long. And I’ll get take out for lunch. How’s a burger sound?” 

“Sound yummy.”

“Okay lamb. One burger coming up.” he says with a wink. And he begins to shut the door. 

“Bye!” I say before the door shuts. It opens a bit more and I hear him. 

“Bye my lamb.” and he shuts the door. I stand there on the stairs a moment and go down. I look at my bed and sigh. 

“Be good.” I say to myself. “Be good lamb.” and I take a seat on my bed. 

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I sit at the wooden table and sip my beer. Armitage should be here soon, It's fifteen after eleven... I know he’s never on time but it still irks me. I pull my backpack closer to my side and when half of the amber liquid is gone and it’s thirty-five minutes after eleven he comes through the doors. I roll my eyes and he strides over. His dirty ginger hair is swept back from his face and I see he has a black eye. He sits across from me and raises his hand for service. He turns to me and smiles. 

“Ben.” he greets. 

“Armitage.” the small blonde waitress comes over and asks what he’d like. 

“A tall glass of you sugar.” he says with a smile. She smiles back and he sighs. “A bud.” he says. She nods her head and walks away. He watches as she does and he turns back 

“How goes it?” he asks.

“As fine as it can.” I answer. “What happened?” I ask while nodding to his eye. He touches his finger to it and bites his lip. 

“My latest conquest had some fight in her.” he says. “I’m surprised she didn’t break my nose.” the waitress comes back and sets a bottle in front of him along with a napkin with writing on it. He smiles and clicks his tongue as she walks away. “Evie...” he says as he shoves it in his pocket. “Someone’s going to get un-lucky." He says. I smile and he takes a drink. “So, what have you got for me?” he asks. 

“Five bugs and five cameras. As requested. These are slightly better than last time too. Range has doubled.” He raises his eyebrows in surprise. “And I fixed the sound, as long as she’s not screaming bloody murder the sound should come through clean.”

“Still working on that huh?”

“Yeah can’t seem to get the frequencies right.”

“You could ask Snoke.” I roll my eyes. 

“Snoke.” I say. “Can go fuck himself.”  

“It was one comment... and he did-”

“He called her a waste of time and energy.” I say through clenched teeth. “He called her just another piece of ass. No one.” I begin. “No one talks about my lamb that way.” He holds up his hands and sighs. 

“You taught him that. Almost killed him.”

_…_

_I don’t like Snoke... I don’t even like Armitage but... I suppose two “friends” are better than none. I hate our meet ups. They’re nothing more than pissing contest. And in the end Snoke and I are normally throwing punches. He’s violent. More so than any other person I know. Which is saying something. Coming for a fellow rapist and murderer. I sip on my beer and watch as Snoke sets up his laptop. He wants to show us his girl Rosie, even though we’ve seen her before. She’s his so called “wife”. Which is what he calls his most prized conquests. We’re at Armitage’s apartment. He never keeps anyone so an apartment is good enough for him. Snoke has a house and so do I; though... my lamb will be my first long term..._

_“So... how goes it with... kitten?” asks Snoke. I look over and sigh at his wrinkled face._

_“Lamb.” I correct. “Is fine.”_

_“Any headway? Or are you still jacking off every night to a screen?”_

_“Isn’t that what you’re about to do?” I ask. He laughs and turns. His dark eyes dance in the light and she shakes his head._

_“No. I’m not. My wife is a very experienced cock sucker. I don’t need to jack off. What about... lamb?” he asks. “How good is she with a cock?”_

_“None of your fucking business.” he turns back to the laptop and I roll my eyes as he finally gets the video to start. The man is supposed to an expert on electronics but he has trouble playing a simple mp4 file... must be the old age..._

_I watch as the blonde girl in the video stares into the camera. She is pretty, but she has nothing on my Rey..._

_“She’s not as shy.” says Armitage._

_“No, not anymore. She loves the camera now. Can’t get off unless it’s on.” I sip on my beer and watch as he and the girl change positions. He still has her scream. Even though she’s been with him for god knows how long. I won’t make Lamb scream. Unless she wants to scream my name... “Ben.” I look over at him and he smiles. “So... when are you going to collect her?” he asks._

_“Not sure. I’m still... pursuing.”_

_“It’s almost been ten months dude. Just take her and get it over with. No piece of ass is that good.” I clench my fists and sigh. “You haven’t even had a taste of this girl yet and you’re head over heels.”_

_“I-”_

_“I mean come on. This girl is becoming a big project that should have took one month... not three... not six... and defiantly not ten.”_

_“Snoke...”_

_“She’s just some skank who’s a waste of time and energy.” I lose it. I get off the couch and deck him. He falls against the wall and I begin to kick at his ribs. No one... no one!_

_“Fuck you!” I yell. “She’s perfect! She’s not a waste!” blood spurts from his mouth and I feel arms go around me. I push Armitage off and get down onto my knees. I punch him once more in the face then I feel something hit the back of my head. I clutch onto my skull and fall backwards. I wince at the pain and look up. Fucking Armitage..._

_..._

“I would have if you wouldn’t have butt in.” He smiles. 

“He’s my friend too. Couldn’t let you do that.” 

“If he’s your friend why don’t you get these devices from him?” I ask. 

“I enjoy your company for one. Two, yours are better, they’re long lasting and smaller. And three... he’s quite preoccupied with the three ladies he has.”

“How long now?”

“Almost a year for the first two, only six months for the third. They keep his hands full.”

“My hands are full with one.” I scoff. He raises his eyebrows and drinks. 

“You have her then?” he asks. I don’t say anything and he sighs. “How long?”

“About a month.”

“And? Anything good?” he asks with a sly smile. I want to cut it from his face. How dare he- “I know. I know.” he says. “No intimate details about your ‘little lamb’.” he says with air quotes. “That’s the only reason Snoke said that ya know? Cuz you show how much she got under your skin.”

“I can’t help it...”

“At least try and keep a firm façade. Or Snoke will keep fucking with you, and so will I.” he drinks the last of his beer and sighs. “This is the first you’re going to keep right?” I nod my head. “Just keep her fed and watered and fucked. That’s all there is to it.” I clench my fists as he says the word ‘fucked’. No one talks about her that way! “Calm down Romeo.” he says. “I’m just kidding. For the most part.” he calls the waitress over and she hands him another bottle of beer. She takes my glass and I shake my head when she asks if I want another. “So you wanted...”

“Etorphine and GHP.” I whisper. “Some Ketamine if you have it.”

“We’ll head to my car after I’m done.” and he takes a swig from the bottle. “Why the Ketamine?” he asks. 

“Last girl was... too loud. Almost had the cops called.” 

“Don’t you normally take them to your little hidey hole?”

“Lamb doesn’t like to have guests.” 

“You’d think she’d enjoy the time you’re not fucking her.” I close my eyes and I hear him sigh. “Very well.” and he chugs down the rest of his beer. He lays a twenty on the table and we exit the bar. I walk with him to his car and he opens the trunk. Inside is an array of suitcases. He opens one and takes out three bottles. He hands them to me and I nod my head. “Syringes?” 

“Yeah a few.” he hands me five bags full and shuts the trunk. 

“And...” I put the items into my backpack and grab the bag of his stuff. I hand it to him and zip up my bag. He smiles and winks. “Thanks for your patronage.” he says. “I’ll let you know how these work out on little Evie in there.”

“Best of luck.” I say. 

“Same. Later man.” and he gets into his car. I quickly walk to mine and throw the backpack into the passenger seat. I watch as he drives away and I take a breath before I look for an adult store nearby. 

\--

The door beeps open and I call out to Rey. 

“Little lamb. I’m home.” I hear footsteps and see her at the end of the stairs. She smiles up at me and I smile back. “Come on. Lunch is served.” she walks to me and I step to the side. She walks past me into the hall and I shut the door. I push the bookcase back into place and when I turn; I see her waiting. Good girl... 

I walk past her and I hear her follow behind me. I lead her into the kitchen and sit her down. Instead of sitting across from her I take the seat to her left. I begin to open the paper bags and hand her food. Before she eats, she turns to me. 

“Thank you Ben.”

“You’re welcome lamb.” she takes a fry in hand and puts it to her lips. I smile as she bites into it and I stand. I get the ketchup from the fridge and hand it to her. She takes it and covers her fries with it. She eats one after another then opens her foil package. She bites into the burger and hums as she chews. I take a bite of mine and wonder if she’ll like her present...

\--

I grab the plain black bag from the side of the door and lead her back down to the basement. She isn’t happy and I can’t blame her. I tell her to sit and she does. Then I hand her the bag. 

“Instructions are in the box. Though I’m aware you know how to use one.” I say. “Use it at your leisure.”

“Ben-”

“I need you down here for the time being lamb. You may sleep with me tonight. But, I have work to do.” I turn from her, sigh and turn back. “I promise I’ll bring you upstairs for dinner and sleep. Okay?” she nods her head but I know she’s upset with me. “It’s alright.” I tell her. “Just... use it.” and I turn back to the stairs. And before I leave I say one last thing. “I won’t watch.” I say. “Not this time.” and I leave her down there. I lock her in and go to my desk. I stare at the screen saver and move the mouse. It beams to life and before I can even think of clicking the security application... I log on to work. I put my headset on and breathe. 

I need her sated before she returns to me. I can’t have her try and jump my bones. And... she might try and get on top of me again. I... don’t like that. Never have... I’m not in control. I need to be in control... 

Though... having her legs wrapped around my waist... he cheek against mine... her hips grinding into me... 

No! No! No!

Stop! 

I hit myself and shut my eyes. I hit once more and sigh. 

Stop thinking about it... she’s not ready... she’s not ready... 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A hint of smut in this chapter.  
> Also, chapter eleven is when we start getting to the real stuff! Just a few more people; I promise!  
> 

Chapter 9-

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

“I won’t watch.” he says. “Not this time.” and he leaves me. I hear the beeps and I sigh. I hate it down here... I’d rather be with Ben... 

I look at the black bag in my hands and blow air from my mouth. Use it he said...

I set the bag on the bed and take out a small package of batteries. I put them to the side and take out the medium sized box. I push the bag away and turn the plain pink box over. 

**_-Fun-For-All-_ **

**_-Self Pleasure Vibrator-_ **

**_-Soft Silicone – Multi Speed – Discrete-_ **

What...?

I take the thin plastic off the box and open it. Inside is exactly what the box said. A pink vibrator... one reminiscent of the one I had at home... but mine was purple... and slightly smaller...

He bought this for me... but... why? I thought he wanted me? And I told his last night I wanted him too so why... why would be do this? I close the box and put everything back into the bag. I set it off the bed and lay down. I stare at the wall and I know if I had laser vison I would burn a hole right through it. 

I want him! I want Ben! Not a toy!

\--

I sit at the dining table and try to act normal. I eat the chicken tacos he made and thank him once I’m done. He says I can watch TV, so I leave him at the table and go into the living room. I sit on the couch and grab the remote. I flip through the channels and find a movie to watch. Silence of the Lambs. 

I snicker to myself at the name and watch it. I haven’t seen it since Halloween, so soon I’m fully engrossed in the tale of the FBI agent and the cannibal. After a few moments, Ben takes a seat next to me and for a while we watch in silence. I peek over and see he’s rolled his long sleeves up to his elbows, showing his forearms. They’re crossed over his chest and I gulp. I want those arms around me... 

I look away and sooner than later I look back. He yawns and stretches his arms out. He holds his hands above his head and I clutch my legs together. He cracks his knuckles and drapes his arms over the back of the couch. As the movie ends I turn to him and he looks over at me. 

“Bedtime.” he says. He turns off the lights and the TV then leads me to the bedroom. I smile as I get into the sheets and watch him change... again. He strips from his jeans to a pair of green basketball shorts. And from his blue button-down to a white muscle shirt. He turns off the lights and climbs into bed with me. He sets his glasses to the side and shuts his eyes. 

“Good night lamb.”

“Night...” I watch him as he tries to fall asleep and I bite my lip as I stare at his. I wonder how his lips would feel against mine, how gentle or rough he would be. How his tongue...

“What is it lamb?” he asks. I look at his eyes and shake my head. 

“Nothing.” he looks downward and he sighs as he stares at my thighs. 

“An afternoon alone with a vibrator wasn’t enough?” he asks. 

“...I didn’t use it.” I admit. 

“What?” he asks. 

“...I didn’t use it.” he sits up and quickly stands. 

“Why not?” I sit up and sigh. 

“I don’t want a toy.” I say. “I want you...” he stares down at me and puts his glasses back on. “I want you Ben...” he shakes his head and sighs. 

“Get up.”

“But-”

“Up!” I flinch at his tone and get out of his bed. He walks out of the bedroom and soon I hear him call for me. I hesitate and go to him. He's standing by the door to the basement. 

“Please...” I say. 

“Go.” he tells me. I do as I’m told and go down the stairs. I look up and see he’s coming down with me. I go to my bed and stand by it. He takes the bag in his hand and dumps the boxes onto the bed. He opens the pack of batteries, takes out the vibrator and inserts them into it. He presses one of the buttons on it and it buzzes to life. He turns it off and holds it out to me. “Use it.” he says. I shake my head. 

“No.”

“Use it lamb.”

“I don’t want it Ben.” he glares down at me and nods his head. 

“Okay. You leave me no choice.” he pushes the bag and boxes off the bed and puts his hand to my chest. “Lay down.”

“Be-”

“Lay. Down.” I do as he says and lay back. My legs hang over the side and I watch him. “Take off your pants and underwear.”

“Ben-”

“Do it.” I shake as I do and throw them to the side. He puts a knee on the bed and takes my leg in his hand. “Spread em’.” I shut my eyes as I do and I only open them as I feel something between my legs. He’s towering over me. Hands on either side of me, body tucked between my legs. I look into his eyes and he takes off his glasses. He sets them to the side of me and sighs. “This is what you wanted right?” he asks. “You wanted me?” I nod. 

“Yes.” I sigh.

“Close your eyes and relax.” I do and feel him kiss my cheek. I smile and wet my lips. Please... please... “I’m right here lamb...” I turn my face to kiss his lips but when I do... he’s not there. I close my eyes tighter then I feel something go around my wrists. “Just to keep you in place...” he says. “Don’t worry...” I know what it is now... rope. It digs into my skin and I moan as he ties my writs together and puts them above my head. “Keep them there. Or else.” I nod and keep my eyes shut. I want to touch him... but I want to be good...

Soon I feel something touching my mound. I bite my lip and all of a sudden I feel a vibration. My eyes snap open and I look down. No...

“No!” he moves it lower and presses it gently into my pussy lips. “No!” I move my hands but I can’t do anything with them. I put them back above my head and shake my head. “Ben!” I yell. He presses it more and it rubs against my clit. I gasp at the familiar feeling and shut my eyes. “Ben...” I moan as he presses the vibrator inside my folds and runs it up and down my clit. I moan and I feel him fumble with it a moment before the vibration turns up. I gasp and throw my head back. My hips begin to raise with the movements and soon the feeling leaves my clit and travels lower. I groan as it does and I open my eyes. He’s staring down at me. “Ben...” I gasp. “Please... please...” 

“This is all you’re getting from me lamb.” he says. And it turns up higher again. I feel tears escape my eyes and then it prods against my entrance. I gasp as he gently pushes the vibrator inside me. “I’m sorry but this is all I can give you...” and it fills me. I close my eyes tighter he keeps it there a moment before he pulls it back and begins to fuck me with the toy. My hips buck with the assault and I moan louder and louder. It feels amazing but... it’s not what I want. I want him! I want Ben! I feel my orgasm rising in my depths as I imagine his cock. It’s him... not the toy. It’s him, not the toy! I close my legs as much as I can and my back aches as I come. I cry out and when it’s passed, the vibration stops. My body goes limp and I turn my face to the sheets. I take deep breaths and feel my hands being untied. I keep them where they are and I feel his arms go around me. He lifts me slightly, turns me and lays me back on the bed. I feel my sheets and blanket cover me and he gets off the bed. I open my eyes and watch as he turns on my fan. He sets the vibrator beside and me sighs. “Better?” he asks. I just nod my head. “Good.” and he walks away. I hear the door beep shut and I drift off.

\--

I wake up to the sound of his voice. 

“Lamb.” I hear. “Lamb.” I open my eyes and groan. He’s not there. I get off the bed and head to the stairs. At the door is a tray. 

“What...?”

“Eat lamb.” I hear. I turn back and I sigh. 

“Where are you?” I ask. 

“Upstairs.” I hear. Wait... that sounds... different... “I left breakfast for you and a book. You forgot it upstairs the other day.” I hear. I turn around and look up to the camera. The red light is on. “I’ll bring you dinner later.” I stare at the camera and speak. 

“But I thought-”

“I said you had to do as I say to continue to sleep with me. And you disobeyed.”

“But... I want-”

“I know. But until you get... sated. You’re staying down there.”

“I want to eat up there with you.” I say. 

“Not until you can control yourself lamb.”

“Ben please...” and the light turns off. I just stare at the camera and sigh. 

I go to the stairs and head up them. I get the tray and see the book, Interview With A Vampire. A plate filled with ham, eggs and toast along with a water bottle. I take it down with me and sit on my bed. I stare at the food a moment then shut my eyes. I just want him... why is that so bad? 

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I turn on the camera and watch as Rey lays on the bed and reads a book. I lay my head on my hand and watch her. I sigh as she crosses her legs and lays the book down. She throws her arms out to her sides and stares up at the ceiling. She turns over, then again then back onto her back. I watch as she presses her thighs together and shuts her eyes. She rolls over, takes the vibrator in hand and looks at it. 

“There we go...” I mutter to myself. “Good girl...” she puts it down beside her and before I know it... she’s peeling off her pajama shorts and panties. I go to click off the page, but I stop myself. I said I wouldn’t look when I gave it to her... but... it’s been over a week... 

I quickly tap the sound key and I hear her sigh. She takes the vibrator back in hand and puts it between her thighs. She rubs it along her lips and then I hear the buzzing. She shuts her eyes and puts her head back to the pillow. She doesn’t push it inside her or touch it to her clit. She just runs it along her lips... slowly. 

I put my hand over my mouth and look down at the front of my pants. I’m hard... already. I lick my lips and unbutton my jeans. I un-zip them, push my boxers down and let my cock spring free. I’ve done this before... watched her please herself in her bed while I masturbated here... miles away. Wishing I was there with her. And now... she’s only a few feet away and I can’t bring myself to let her have me. She thinks she wants me but I know she’s just horny. 

It’s too soon for her to have these feelings. I know that. But, soon... she’ll want it so bad she’ll beg. More than she has already. I want her to rub herself on me like a cat in heat. I want her to lose all control and give into me. Soon... she’ll be ready soon. 

I spread the pre-cum over my head and sigh as she pushes the instrument into her. She throws her head back more and begins to grind her hips with the movement. She spreads her legs more and I groan. I wrap my hand around my cock and match her thrusts. She wants it slow. I can understand that, it’s been a while for her. She masturbated a few days before the party, the night before I took my bugs and camera from her apartment. And the last time she had sex with a man... 

I grit my teeth at the memory. Her bringing some man named Poe Dameron home. Her schedule was interrupted by the man she worked with. He walked her out of the large building and held her hand as they walked across to the dining at lunch time. Three days in a row. Then... she brought him into her bedroom and pushed him down onto her bed. She straddled him and began to kiss him. 

I shut my eyes and shake my head. No! That’s over now! When she’s ready I’ll be her only. I’ll be the final man she’ll bed...

I look back at the screen and see her other hand is cupped over her breast. Her breathing has hitched and the vibration seems louder. How is that discreet? I can hear it over a small microphone. 

I quicken my pace and watch as the pink vibrator plunges into her. I wish it was me... I wish I would have given into her. I’d be there, pleasing her, making her moan, kissing her lips and sucking on her nipples until they pebbled. Making her mine... 

Her pace slows a moment and... she looks at the camera. She smiles and lifts her head a bit. She stares into the lens and it’s almost like she staring me in the eyes. She turns the vibration higher and moans... my name. 

“Ben...” I gulp and she continues to look into the lens. “Ben please...” I quicken my pace more and tighten my grip. I lick my lips and before I can talk myself out of it. I press the microphone icon. 

“Faster.” I say. She looks surprised and does as I say. Her hand moves faster and she moans my name again. 

“Ben...

“Faster lamb!” I say with earnest. I’m almost there... but... I need her to cum first... 

She does and she shuts her eyes. I watch as toy practically disappears inside her and soon she’s writhing against the sheets. She gasps as she cums and I clutch onto my cock as I do the same. My breathing comes out in sharp exhales and I hear her calming down. I wait a moment and she looks back at the camera. I smile and almost as if she can see me, she smiles back. 

“Good girl.” I say. “Good lamb.” and I exit the program. 

_…_

_Then man from her office... Poe. He's on her bed... my lamb’s bed. He undoes the buttons on his white shirt all the while she kisses his lips and neck. Once his shirt is off she pushes him down and climbs on top of him. She takes his face in her hands and kisses him more. I want to look away... I have to look away but... what if he hurts her?_

_What will I do? Rush in and save her like the white knight I so desperately want to be? No. But I could be the demon I know I am. Shove a blade into his head... or his throat. Choke him with my belt or even better my bare hands._

_What if he’s good to her? What if she falls for him and not me? No... no... no!_

_I turn away from the screen and take fists full of my hair and try not to scream. No! She’ll love me! She has to! She will! I stop when I feel some strands of hair pull loose and drop my hands. I stare off into the kitchen and sigh._

_She’s mine... not his. She’s mine... not his!_

_She’s all mine! My Rey! My lamb!_

_I turn back and watch as he runs his filthy hands all over her back, trying to get her bra off..._

_I bite the inside of my cheek and grimace as she does it for him._

_“I’m sorry.” I say to the woman in the screen. “I’m sorry I’m not there to take your ache away...”_

\--

I stand on the corner and watch as potential conquests walk by. Some catch my eye and others I don’t fancy but then... I see a small dark haired girl. Walking alone. Skirt showing most of thighs and legs. She walks past me and follow behind her. She’s going in the right direction. If she continues this way... it’ll be easy to get her where I want her. She turns the correct way and I get my syringe ready. I wish I didn’t need this, especially since my lamb gave me such a show but... I do need it. I need... someone to keep me from hurting my lamb...

It’s been almost two weeks since my last taking... and I need something to wet my appetite... 

She continues to walk and soon I see my opening. Before she reaches a cross road and hurry behind her and press the needle into her neck. She gurgles a moment then falls into my arms. I hold her steady and lift her up. I carry her bridal style and head to my new favorite motel. 

The owner doesn’t speak English besides ‘hello’, ‘goodbye’, ‘no vacancy’ and ‘welcome’. And he’s old which makes him forgetful. I push a fifty in his direction and he hands me a key. Still keys here... not cards which makes it easier. I know there are no cameras either. I over checked to make sure. The place might as well be stuck in the 50s. I carry my guest into the room and lay her down on the bed. Her eyes are open but she lays silent. The ketamine is working how it should. She can talk but she doesn’t dare try. And if she did... it would come out as slurs and gasps. I smile down at her and sigh. 

“You’ll be much easier to take this way. Even though... I prefer when they scream.” I say. Her eyes widen as much as they can and I see her legs move slightly. “Don’t even try. There’s no use.” I tell her. “But, if you’d like to save your energy for when I’m fucking you; that’d be swell.” she groans and kicks her legs as much as she can. I grab a condom from my pants pocket and take them down to my ankles. I throw them onto the dresser, take my belt from the loops and I hear her groan again. In somewhat of a scream. I smile. “Don’t be scared.” I say. “The fucking is the least of your problems.” and I climb on top of her. She groans again and I sigh as I slip on the condom. I put my belt around her neck and she tries to shake me away. I tighten it and her groan turns into a gasp. “The longer I take to cum...” I say. “...the longer you live.” she stares up at me with dark brown eyes and I smile. “Welcome to hell.” and I sink into her. 

\--

I shovel the last bit of dirt back into place and pat it down before I cover the area with pine needles and rocks. I look around at my feet and nod my head. Can’t even tell. Just how it should be. I toss the shovel over my shoulder and walk back to my car. All the while I stare up at the stars and think of Rey. She’d like it out here. Out in nature, star gazing, cozied up to me in a sleeping bag with a thermos of hot cocoa. As I get to my car, I throw the shovel in the trunk along with my gloves. I take a mental note to clean up tomorrow and get in. I turn on the headlights and drive off. 

As the tress rush past me, I turn on the radio and sigh when I don’t have any signal. I know better. I push the CD button and nod my head to the sound of Avenged Sevenfold. Soon the tress become more and more sparse and then I see a small neon sign. I know to pass it, no matter how hungry or low on gas I am. It’s too small of a store. The owner would ask questions, try to be friendly. Which would be bad for me. I continue on and soon I’m heading back into the city. I check the time and see it’s late. Too late to take my lamb dinner. She’s probably asleep by now anyway. So I pull into a drive thru and order some onion rings and a chicken sandwich. I pay with cash and eat as I drive home. Thirty minutes later, I’m pulling into my garage. I stay in my seat a moment and gather my garbage before I get out. I push the code into the keypad and enter into the kitchen. I throw the greasy bag away and turn off the light as I walk out. I head to the bathroom and head directly to the shower. 

Once I’m clean I head to my bed. I look down at it a moment and wish Rey was here. I want her next to me. I want her body pressed against me as she sleeps. But... I can’t. Not yet. I get under the covers and lay my head down on the pillow. Soon. I think. Soon she’ll be ready. And I won’t be able to resist. I almost went down and shown her what I can do earlier today. While she pleasured herself with the toy I bought her. I could give her so much more. I shut my eyes and sigh. 

Soon... soon she’ll be mine. 

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

Ben’s cooking, again. Something sweet this time. So... baking. I smell chocolate and vanilla extract. I feel the heat from the oven and I watch as he stirs the batter. He dips his finger into the bowl and pops it into his mouth. He moans at the taste and dips it in again. He holds his finger out to me and I don’t hesitate to lick the batter from his finger. He pushes on my tongue and I close my lips around it. I suck slightly and he removes his finger. He smiles down at me and walks around the counter. He takes my face in his hands and pulls me up to him. I put my hands to his head and tangle my fingers in his hair. 

“Ready lamb?” he asks. I nod and he presses his lips to mine. I gasp and he presses me against the counter before he lifts me and sets me on it. I pull him closer to me and kiss him with everything I have. I pull on his hair and he hisses. “Naughty girl...” he says against my lips. “What shall I do with you?” he asks. He runs his tongue across my lips and his hands kneed my thighs. “Would my lamb like her pussy licked? Hm?” he asks. I nod again. I have no words. I don’t need words. He knows. He knows what I want... “Should I even ask?” I shake my head and he pushes on my chest. I lay back on the counter and look down my body at him. I’m naked now. That was quick. He kisses down my abdomen to my belly and further... and further... 

…

My eyes flash open and I groan at the realization. It was a dream. I shut my eyes again and hope to return to the dream. Where Ben wants me. Where he’s giving into me. Where he takes me over and over again until I scream his name. I open my eyes and turn on my side. The vibrator is beside me. It’s helping, I’ll admit that. But... it’s not what I want. I want the man behind the camera. The one who watches me touch myself and encourages me to give in to pleasure. I want Ben. But... I’m beginning to think... he doesn’t want me after all. 

I hear the door beep open and then his voice. 

“Lamb. Breakfast.” I quickly stand and go to the stairs. I stare up at him and he sets the tray down at the door. But before he can close it; I speak. 

“Ben!” I call out. 

“Yes lamb?”

“Can I eat with you?” I ask. 

“Can you control yourself?” he asks. 

Lie.

“Yes. I’m... better now.” he pauses and sighs. 

“Fine. Come on.” he picks up the tray and I climb the stairs. I exit and he shuts the door behind me. He pushes the bookcase back and smiles down at me. “All orgasmed out?” he asks. I nod. 

“Yes. Thank you.” I say with a smile. 

“Alright then. Now be a good girl and eat your breakfast.” 

“Okay Ben.” and I follow him to the kitchen. He puts the plate down on the table and I sit. I watch him put the tray away and I smile to myself. 

I’ll seduce him. I’ll be a good lamb and make him want me again. 

He’ll be mine. 

Ben will be mine. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (In Heath Ledger's Joker voice) And here we go.

Chapter Ten-

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

Two weeks...

It’s been two weeks since I’ve allowed Rey to sleep with me. And eat with me. And stay upstairs with me; well at least while I’m not working or gone. I can’t trust her with internet... or trust that she won’t break out. She’s getting better though. My trust in her is growing, and so is hers. 

Two weeks... and she’s been so good. Sometimes I have to scold her but... that’s only when she gets... flirtatious. She’ll run her legs along mine in bed. She’ll brush her hand to my thigh when we watch TV. She’ll put her face to my chest when I get too close to her. Each time she touches me... I want to take her. Not even a mistaken graze of her fingertips against my skin can stop my feelings from bubbling up. I want her... I want her so badly. 

She’s sitting cross legged next to me on the couch as we read. A normal occurrence now. I turn the page and try to keep my mind on the story. But, it’s hard. She keeps inching closer... she thinks I don’t notice. But I do. And when she’s almost touching her leg to mine. I move further into the corner. 

I don’t want to scold her. I don’t like the way she looks at me when I do. But... as much as she thinks she’s ready... I know she isn’t. 

“Ben?” 

I turn from my book and look at her. 

“Yes lamb?” I think she’s going to ask why I moved away from her but she doesn’t. 

“I’m hungry.” I look at the clock and sigh. It is almost dinner time. 

“What would you like lamb?” I ask. She shuts her book and sighs before she speaks. 

“What can you make me?” she asks. I smile. 

“Well, I bought groceries yesterday. So... salad, stew, pasta, I'm sure I have everything for your favorite.” she smiles and nods her head. 

“Alfredo then please.” 

“Okay.” I set my book aside and stand. She stands with me and I smile down at her. “You can stay and read.” I say. “I’ll go and make our dinner.”

“I want to help.” she clasps her hands in front of her and moves her hips ever so slightly. I nod. 

“Fine. You can trim chicken.” and we head into the kitchen. I would have liked to have some time to cool off but...

She stays close by me and when I hand her the package of chicken breasts... she runs her fingers along mine as she takes it from me. She looks up at me with an enticing look and I sigh. 

“Just do as you’re told lamb.” I whisper. Her eyes change and she sighs. She goes to the other side of me, takes a knife in hand and begins her task. She’s upset... and sexually frustrated. The vibrator has helped a ton, but she still... has... cravings. 

I want her... I do. But... I need her... completely open to the thought of us. Not just with her body. I need her mind as well. I need her to believe I love her. To believe I’m the only one who can take the ache away. She’s almost there... a few more days... a week maybe. And I’ll give in. I can’t keep taking other women in her stead. I need her. I need my Rey. I need her pressed against me. I need her hands on me. I need her lips around my-

“Ben?” I hear. I turn to her and she stares up at me. 

“Yes lamb?”

“I’m done.” I look down and see she’s trimmed the chicken how I asked. 

“Oh. Thank you.”

“What else can I do?” she asks. 

“Um, you can get the ingredients for the sauce. I’m sorry lamb. My head isn’t with me today.” she smiles. She knows when I’m day dreaming...

“It’s okay. I can help you.” and she goes to the fridge. I watch her from the corner of my eye and sigh. 

Soon...

I won’t be able to hold on much longer...

\--

As she digs into her meal I check my phone. Armitage has texted. He broke two of the bugs I gave him and he needs replacements, asap. I type a quick reply saying I can get them to him tomorrow but they’ll be a lower quality. Since it’s such short notice. He messages back and says that’ll be fine. I message saying we’ll meet at the usual spot then put my phone down. I begin to eat and he texts back. I pick it back up and read. 

 **-I’ll just pick them up at your place.-**  it says. **-It’s on the way to my newest conquest’s apartment.-**

Shit...

 I look up at lamb, she’s eating still. I watch her a moment and he texts again. 

**-I can meet “lamb”-**

No... I don’t want anyone to see her...

**-I’ll be in and out. Five minutes tops. Don’t be a stick in the mud!-**

I shut my eyes a moment and text back a one-word reply. Fine. Telling Armitage no is like telling a baby not to cry... and if I put up too much of a resistance... he’ll tell Snoke. And I don’t want that... 

I push my phone away and watch my lamb. I don’t want him to see her... to meet her. I want to keep her all to myself. I only want her to see me. I want to be her life...

“Ben?” she asks. “What’s wrong?” I try and think of what to say but nothing comes to me... “You seem upset...”

“I am. Slightly.”

“Why?” 

“We’re going to have a visitor tomorrow.”

“...who?” she asks. 

“My... friend, Armitage.” I say. “He’ll only be here a few minutes though.” she nods her head and doesn’t say anything. “I told you about him before... the one like me.” her eyes widen a bit. “It’s okay though.” I tell her. “You’re mine.” she looks down at her food and I sigh. “You’re mine...” I say again and I take a bite of pasta. I don’t think she knows what that means but... she does smile as I say it. She is mine... I caught her, fair and square. She... belongs to me...

\--

I watch as Rey sleeps soundly. She’s not worried, at least of what I can tell. But... I am. I know Armitage. I know he’ll take anyone with a pretty face. And my lamb... she’s the prettiest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. We don’t have the exact same taste but... at the end of the day, he’ll take whatever he pleases. I watch as she licks he lips in her sleep and sigh. I put my hand to her cheek and shut my eyes. She’s mine...

Rey is mine... 

...

I dream of Rey. I dream of her holding me as I lay on top of her. Not sexual just... comfortable. She’s running her fingers through my hair while her other hand rubs my back. I stay there with my eyes closed and sigh. I love her... I love this woman with every part of me. She kisses my forehead and I smile. 

…

…

I wake up and try to focus my eyes. I nuzzle my face back into the pillow and realize... my face isn’t on the pillow. I feel skin. I blink a few times and I feel hands on my head. What...?

I lift my head slightly and see my lamb. 

“Good morning...” she says.  I don’t say anything... 

It’s my dream. 

I’m laying on top of her and she’s running her fingers through my hair. She stares down at me and smiles. She continues to pet me and I sigh. 

“How... long have I been this way?” I ask.  

“I woke up to this.” she says. “And... I didn’t mind it. So... I didn’t wake you.” she puts one hand to my face and moves a few hairs behind my ear. She smiles and I just stare. “I haven’t been awake long Ben. It's alright.” she assures me. I wet my lips and gently put my head back to her chest. I feel the rounds of her breasts against my face and I close my eyes. She’s warm... and soft...

I can hear her heart... beating... for me...

“I love you...” I whisper. She doesn’t say anything back and I sigh. “I do. I love you so much lamb...” I feel her move under me slightly and I kiss her chest. I don’t want this moment to end...

She’s holding me, tightly against her. I’m positioned between her legs, I can feel the warmth... I moan and she sighs. She continues to pet my head and I smile. 

“I know you love me.” she finally says. “I know... but... I-”

“Don’t.” I say. “Don’t ruin the moment.” I know she’s going to say she doesn’t love me back. I don’t she doesn’t. And that’s okay. She will soon. She’ll love me in time. I nuzzle against her skin and kiss once more. “Just... stay like this... for a while longer...”

“Okay Ben...” 

She’ll love me... I know it. 

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

After a breakfast of french toast with bananas; Ben brings me into the living room and sets me down. He’s been off since he told me his friend is coming over. And... I don’t like the thought of someone else... like him, being here. But... since it’s his friend... it’ll be okay. He said so. He said... I was his. I wonder if there is a serial rapist code about other’s girls and what they can do to them. It sounds silly though. I’m sure there isn’t. But I know... Ben... wouldn’t let anything happen to me.

I smile at him and he slightly smiles back. Just a crooked half smile. 

“So... he’ll be here in about thirty minutes.” he says. “But then again... he’s always late. Um but... I don’t want you to worry lamb.” he puts one large hand over mine, clasped in my lap. “I... won’t let him harm you.” I sigh. 

“Will he try to?” I ask. 

“... I don’t know.” I hear the admittance in his voice. He really doesn’t. “I’ve never kept a woman before...” he shakes his head. “... so I never had to worry about it.”

“Do you want... to... with him... and...” I stammer with my words buts he understands. 

“No!” he says. “Of course I don’t. You’re mine. I don’t even want him to look at you.” he admits. “I don’t want him here... but it’s only for a few minutes. He's just picking up some things.”

“Okay... um... why can’t I just go down stairs?” I ask. “If you’re worried...”

“He wants to meet you.”

“Oh...” I don’t know what to say to that. That means... he’s talked about me. With others. With others like... him. 

“It’ll be fine.” he says. “Just... stay by me. Only speak when I say it’s alright.” I nod my head. “And... don’t make eye contact with him.”

“Why?” I ask. 

“Just don’t.” he says. “His eyes... help him trap women.” I just look at him and he sighs. “He just has those eyes that women go gaga over. So... don’t.” 

“Okay Ben.” he smiles at me and he pushes the remote towards me. 

“Find something for us to watch while I get his things ready.”

“Okay...” he lets go of my hands and I almost whimper as he does. He gets off the couch and heads to his desk. I watch him a moment as he picks up a small screwdriver and begins to work. I turn away from him and turn on the television. 

It’ll be ok... 

He said so... 

Ben... wouldn’t lie to me...

\--

Fifty-eight minutes later, Ben looks up from his book and gets off the couch. He goes to the door and looks through the small window on it.  

“He’s here...” he mutters. He turns back to me and I want to get up and go to him. But, I stay. He walks over and kneels down. 

“I’ll give you a treat if you do exactly what I asked of you.” he says. “Anything you want lamb.”

“Okay.” I whisper. He leans over and kisses my forehead. I smile as his lips linger there a moment and then he leaves me. I stand up and wait for him to come back to me. He goes to the door and while he reaches out to enter the code, I turn around. I don’t need to know it...

“Armitage.” I hear him say. I turn back around and see a man that’s slightly shorter than Ben. He’s wearing a grey pullover and blue jeans. And, he is handsome... scary looking but handsome. Deep red hair and pale skin. 

I quickly look down at his chest and remember what Ben said. Don’t look into his eyes...

“Hey there Ben.” he walks in and spins around a moment before stopping to look at me. “And...  _hello there_.” he says. I just stand there and he takes a few steps toward me. I take a step back and Ben comes between us. 

“That’s close enough.”

“I’m not going to hurt her.” he says. “I just want a look.”

“Yeah... good thing you have good eye sight.” Ben says again. 

“Fine.” he crosses his arms and sigh. “So... you’re lamb. Do you have an actual name or were your parents just bad at naming you?” he asks. I flinch at the p word but don’t say anything.

“Her name’s-” and the man holds up his hand. 

“No no.” he says. “Unless there’s a cock in her mouth she can speak.” I see Ben’s fist clench and he turns his head. He nods and I take a step forward. I stay behind him, keep my eyes on his chest and speak. 

“I’m Rey.” I say. He smiles down at me. 

“Rey.” he repeats. “And... how’s captivity?” I look up at Ben and he nods his head again. 

“Fine.” I put one of my hands to his back and I continue. “Ben... takes care of me.” I say truthfully. 

“Does he now?” I nod my head and he sighs. “Don’t know if that’s good or bad.” I want to look up... to see his face better but... I don’t. I don’t want Ben to be mad with me... 

“So, two bugs?” asks Ben. 

“Yeah. That’s right. Got em’?”

“Yeah.” and Ben starts to walk. I walk with him and keep my hand on his back. He didn’t say to do this... but... it makes me feel... safe. We go around Armitage and I look away from him. We go to his desk and he gets the two devices from it. He turns and hands them to Armitage. He turns them in his hands and smiles. 

“Thank you.” 

“Yep...”

“So lower quality with these?” he asks. 

“Yeah, same distance as before. I only had a few of the others.” Armitage nods his head. 

“Alright then. You need anything while I’m here?” he asks. “GHB... cocaine... an extra pair of hands perhaps?” I shiver at the sound of his voice, Ben puts his arm back and grabs my hand. 

“She’s mine.” Ben says in a stern voice. I clutch onto his hand and put my head to his back. 

“I’m aware... but-”

“I’m not like Snoke or any of those other low lives... I, don’t, share.” I shut my eyes and praise whatever God is listening that I’m Ben’s... only Ben’s... “Especially not my lamb.”

“Fine then. If you’re being greedy.” he says with a slight annoyance to his voice. “I’ll be heading off. Little Maxine is gone over the weekend which gives me lots of time to pilfer.” he walks past us and Ben walks away from me. I let go of him and turn. I hear the door beep and footsteps. “Later.” he says. “Nice meeting you doll face.” and I hear the door shut. I turn back and see Ben looking out the small window on the door. I wait until he turns to me and I smile. 

“Are you okay?” he asks. I nod. 

“Yes.”

“Did he scare you?” I shake my head at first then sigh. I nod my head. 

“A little...” he walks over to me and puts his hands to my face. I look into his dark eyes and he sighs. 

“I’m sorry lamb...” he says. I put one of my hands to his and turn my head. I kiss his palm then I hear his breath hitch. He tries to move his hand but I keep hold of it. “Lamb...”

“You said... if I was good... I could have anything I wanted... right?” I ask. 

“...yes.”

“I want you to kiss me...”

“Lamb-”

“Please. I've been good... as good as I can be...” I whisper. “Please Ben...” he keeps his hands on my face and I hear him sigh. I look into his eyes and see... hesitance. “Please... I’ve been a good lamb...” and I see his eyes change. From hesitance to... desire. 

“...okay.” and he leans down. I hold my breath and he comes face to face with me. And ever so lightly, he presses his lips to mine then retreats. 

“No.” I mutter. And I reach up and tangle my fingers in his hair. I’m not letting him get away...

 I pull him back to me and kiss him. He groans and kisses me back. I pull him as close as I can and he runs his tongue across my lips. I don’t hesitate to open my mouth and give him entrance. I moan as his tongue runs along mine and one of his hands goes down my face, breast then to my thigh. He kneads it a moment then moves his hand to my ass. He presses me against him and I gasp. 

I need to be closer... I want to be closer to him... 

And almost as if he reads my mind, he removes his other hand from my face, puts it under my ass and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around him and he turns around. I move my tongue with his and I feel like I’m being pressed against something. It’s hard and uncomfortable... but no matter... 

I break the kiss a moment and take a breath. I hear him take a few breaths himself and sigh.

“Rey...” he whispers. I shut my eyes and he puts his lips to mine. Once. Gently. I whimper and he chuckles. “It’s okay...” he soothes me. “I won’t deny you.” I rub my cheek to his and sigh as the stubble grazes my skin. 

“No?” I ask. 

“No... not in this way...” he answers. “Not anymore...” I put my head to his shoulder and wrap my arms around him. I feel one of his hands go to my head and it keeps me laying on his shoulder. I smile to myself and gently kiss his neck. “Good lamb...” he says. “Good girl...” he keeps me in his arms and I shut my eyes. Ben...

My Ben... 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some slight smut for you all;)

Chapter Eleven-

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I walk to the couch and lay my lamb down. I position myself between her legs and she runs her hands down my face. The whole time, not breaking our kiss. I keep her to me and groan as her tongue slides along mine. My cock twitches in response and she grinds against it. I run my tongue along the top of her mouth, feeling her... tasting her. Finally...

I move my hands down her face, to her shoulders and then to her hips. I grip onto them and she moans. She moves her hips and I get harder by the second. No sex... not today... but... I can’t deny her. She needs some release. I break the kiss and she groans in disappointment. 

“It’s okay...” I mutter against her lips. She kisses me again and I sigh as she sucks my lower lip into her mouth. She continues to grind against me and I put one of my hands to her breast. I squeeze gently and thumb her nipple through her bra. She takes her hands from me and begins to take off her shirt. “No.” I say. She stops and looks up at me. 

“What...?” she breathes. 

“No.” I say again. 

“But... you said...” 

“I know what I said lamb...” I run my hand up and run my fingers along the skin of her belly. “No sex...” I start. She groans and I shake my head. “No no. It’s alright.” she grinds her hips and I let out a rigid breath... “I’ll make you come.” I say. She just stares up at me and I sigh. “I’ll make you come.” and I lift her off the couch. I need to make her come. I need to see her unravel underneath me. I’ve done it before... with the vibrator... but... this is different. 

I want to taste her. 

I’m going to taste her!

I set her back on the couch and go down to my knees in front of her. I unbutton her shorts and slip them off her. I look up and see she’s biting her lip. I gently spread her legs and softly kiss her mound through her underwear. I run my hands over her thighs, gently kneading and kiss again and again. She groans, it’s not what she wants... but it will be. 

I slip my thumbs into her underwear and slide them down her legs. She closes her legs slightly and I put them back where I want them. I look up her body and sigh. 

“Please...” And I give in. I lean forward and kiss her mound. She puts her head back to the couch and I move to her lips. She moans and I kiss them once. I then let my tongue lower and taste the sweet tanginess already leaking from her. I groan and plunge my tongue into her. He hips jolt up a little and I put my hands to the tops of her thighs. I press her down to the couch cushions and run my tongue upward. I slide between her folds and reach her clit. I run my tongue upward, then down and she gasps. Her hands go to my head and she tugs on my hair. I moan into her and continue the assault. I feel the slickness coat my chin and she moves her legs slightly. She wants to be closer...

I take one of her legs in my hands and throw it over my shoulder. She gasps and I suck her clit into my mouth. I move one of my hands upward and palm her breast. I feel her hand go over mine and she begins to make small mewing noises. I know that sound... she’s going to come. I leave the clit, move my tongue lower and spread her lips with my fingers as much as I can at my angle. I lick a few times, letting myself taste every bit of pleasure that’s emptying out of her. I’ve never tasted anything so sweet...

Her leg tightens around my head and I moan. I lick to the sides of her clit and she moves her hips. Trying to put me where she wants me. I ignore her a moment then she begins to beg... 

“Please... please...” she begs. “Please Ben...” I stop a moment and sigh. 

She’s begging... for me...

“Again.” I say. “Say it again...” 

“Ben...” she pleads. “Ben... please Ben...” and I press my tongue back to her clit. She groans and I don’t stop moving my tongue until the aftershocks of her orgasm are through with. I remove her leg from my shoulder and softly kiss her lips once more before I look up at her. 

Her hair is a mess behind her, from thrashing her head around. Her cheeks are flushed pink, her mouth is slightly parted as she takes slow deep breaths. And... her eyes... are dilated with lust. She stares down at me and smiles. 

“... thank... you...” she whispers. 

“You, are very welcome my lamb.” I shut her legs and lay my head on her thighs. I shut my eyes and I feel her hands back in my hair. 

“Ben...” I hear. I look up at her and she smiles. “Can we...?” I sigh. I know what she wants now... this was just a teaser...

“No lamb. Not today.”

“...why?”

“Because I said so.” she just looks down at me and I smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.” she runs her fingers through my hair and I curse the idea of working. But... I need to. And she can’t be with me while I do. She might get the idea to snatch the headset from me and alert the person on the other end. I can hope she wouldn’t do that... but... I don’t want to risk it. I don’t want to risk giving her up. “I have to work...” I say. 

“Now?” she asks. 

“Yes lamb. Now.” and I get up from my knees. She puts her bottoms back on and stays seated on the couch. “Don’t pout.” I say. “I’ll come get you for dinner.”

“...okay.” and I open up the basement. She hesitates before walking down the stairs and before I can think...

“Come here and give me a kiss.” I say. She turns and smiles. She hurries back up to me and flings her arms around my neck. She pulls me down to her and captures my lips with hers. I put my arms around her and press her to me while I deepen this kiss. She’s such a good girl...

We kiss for a moment then I end it. She whimpers and I smile against her lips. She kisses me once and then again... then again and I groan. 

“Stay with me...” she says with a sly tone. 

“No lamb. Not right now... I have to work.”

“But...”

“I know.” and I kiss her again. 

I don’t think I’ll get tired of this...

Her lips on mine. Her arms around me...

\--

For dinner, I make chef salad. With turkey and spinach and everything else she likes. She ate salad a lot, it’s one of her favorite things to eat. I mix it all up in a big bowl and put it in the center of the dining table. I put our dressings on the table along with bowls and forks then head down to get her. I worked longer than I should have but the extra money will help. I need to put more into my savings. 

I enter the code then as soon as the door opens I hear her footsteps. She appears in front of me and I smile. 

“Dinner time lamb.” and I step to the side. She comes into the hall and I close up the basement. She heads to the kitchen and I follow behind her. She takes her seat and begins to serve herself. I smile and lean down. I kiss her cheek and she smiles. “I’m sorry you were down there so long.” I say as I rub my cheek to hers. I hear her breath hitch. 

“You’re prickly...” she says. 

“Yeah... sorry about that.”

“No... I like it...” and she repeats the touch. She then puts her hand to my other cheek and keeps me to her. 

She’s in the mindset. 

She trusts me.

She wants, me!

I sigh and leave her. I go around to the other side of the table and sit. She frowns and I serve myself some salad. I pour some dressing on, stir it a bit and take a bite. I don’t look at her and focus on eating. 

We’ve done enough today... we've done enough. I don’t want to override her. She still needs time. I pick a piece of turkey from the bowl and put it into my mouth along with a crouton. I swallow and try to keep my head straight. 

I want more...

I want her...

I want more...

I want her...

  1. Need. Her. 



I look up and see her watching me. I can’t help but smile and she smiles back. I need her. But... I can’t... not right now. And I still... 

And before I can think about what I say...

“I’m going out tonight.” and her smile falls. 

“...what?” she asks. “Why?”

“You know why.”

“No. No!” she yells. 

“Lamb.” I warn. 

“No! You... we...” and she looks down at her thighs. 

“I said no more today.”

“But... I thought...”

“You thought what lamb?” she doesn’t speak right away then sighs. 

“Nothing. Just go.” and she gets up from the table. She leaves the room and I follow her. 

“Lamb. Lamb!” she goes to the bookcase, swings it open and turns away from it. “Lamb...”

“Open it.” she says. 

“Lamb, finish dinner first.” she shakes her head. 

“No... just open it. Now.” she demands. I swallow the anger rising in the pit of my stomach and enter the code. It beeps open and I open the door. She goes to walk down the stairs but I catch her arm. She halts but doesn’t look at me. 

“I’m sorry.” I say. She tries to shake from my grasp but I keep ahold of her. “I’m, sorry.” I say again. She doesn’t look at me and I shut my eyes a moment. She knows... she knows what I have to do. But... why... “Why are you acting like this?” I ask. She continues to look down the stairs and sighs. 

“I don’t know...” I let go of her arm and she goes down the stairs. I watch her and when she goes out of sight, I close the door. I put the bookcase back into place and put my forehead against it. I hit my head a couple of times and stop when a headache begins. I shut my eyes and curse myself. I shouldn’t have told her. I should have just... no. She’s with me all the time now... I couldn’t have snuck away in the night; came back in the morning like nothing happened. And... she would have noticed anyway. She always notices when I take someone. But... it’s been... almost three weeks since my last. I’ve been good. I’ve been getting better. Having her with me... it’s been therapeutic. 

But, now that I’ve had a taste... and can’t take any more... 

I need something...

_…_

_I watch as lamb and Rose get into a taxi. I sigh and wish they would have walked home... I could have spent more time with her..._

_I begin to walk in the opposite direction and someone catches my eye. Blonde... pretty as far as I can tell. She’s standing alone... big mistake. I stop a moment and see she’s smoking a cigarette. That’s always a good meet-cute..._

_I walk over to her and sigh._

_“Got a light?” I ask. She looks up at me and sighs._

_“...yeah.” she turns and starts to dig in her purse but before she can even lift the lighter from her purse. The needle is imbedded in her neck. I catch her quickly and lift her over my shoulder._

_My new playmate will keep my sated while lamb goes off for movie night with Rose._

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

I clutch onto one of my pillows and cry into it. Why doesn’t he want me?! 

I’ve been good... I’ve been so good. And we kissed... we kissed a lot... and... he...

He... did the thing I've wanted for so long. And I didn’t even have to ask for it... like I had to do with other boyfriends. And then... some didn’t want to... but were more than happy to have their dick in my mouth. I sniff and let out a ragged breath. 

Why aren’t I enough for him...? He says he wants me... that he loves me... but... why does he need others?

\--

I wake up to the feeling of someone petting my hair. I don’t open my eyes and her them sigh. 

“I’m sorry.”

It’s Ben... of course it’s Ben. Who else would it be? 

“I’m sorry I'm like this...” I pretend to be asleep and I feel him get closer. He's on the bed with me... “I’m sorry... you have to put up with me. But, I can’t change who I am lamb...” I feel his lips on my forehead and he sighs again. “I love you so much, yet I can’t seem to do anything right. I hurt you... even though I try so hard not to. Not in the ways I hurt others... but... with my words... and actions...” his hand runs over my head and he continues. “I love you lamb. You’re my first and only love.” his hand leaves my head but I feel his chin replace it. And his chest... is right to my face. His arm goes over my side and he pulls me close. “I’ll make love to you soon. I can’t wait for much longer...” he says. My heartbeat accelerates and he kisses the top of my head. “And, you’ll finally see how much I care. And you’ll see how hard I’ve worked for you... and how long I waited. I’ll show you... I promise...” and he stills. I open my eyes and see his grey t-shirt. I shut my eyes again and I hear his breathing even out. He’s asleep... 

I know...

I know he loves me...

I shut my eyes and put my arm over him. I nuzzle against his chest and go back to sleep. 

\--

“Lamb.” I hear. “Lamb...” I open my eyes and see the wall. I turn over onto my back and see Ben. I smile. “Time to wake up.” I nod my head and stretch my arms above me. “I know but I have some things for you see.” 

“...what?” I ask. 

“Just sit up and eat your breakfast.” he says. “Then, I’ll show you.” I sit up and cover my legs and thighs with the blanket. He hands me a bowl of eggs and hash. Potatoes with peppers and chopped up ham. 

After my meal is gone, he sets it to the side and sighs. He then picks something off the floor and turns to me. 

“Just... keep in mind... I love you.” he says. “Just... remember that.”

“...okay.” and he puts a stack of black notebooks onto the bed. 

“You’ve seen one of these before.” he begins. “You got it for me from the kitchen.” I nod my head. “I... okay. When I find a woman I want. I stalk her. You know that. And... while I do. I keep track of things in a notebook. I carry it with me and just write down... anything that’ll help me get closer to her. To know when I can take her. And... afterward... after I rape and murder them... I cut off the piece of their hair and put it in the back of the notebook. And I put the notebook into a lock box and look back onto it from time to time.”

“Okay...”

“And... these... are yours.”

“Mine?” I ask. He nods his head. 

“Yes. These are the notebooks I filled when I was stalking you.” I look at the pile in front of me and my mind goes blank... “There’s fifteen of them. One for about each month I followed you. All filled to the brim.” I don’t say or do anything and he sighs. “Before... you wanted to know everything I knew about you. These will help lamb.”

“...why-?”

“I owe you this much... I owe you... answers. At least the ones I can give you.”

“What if I don’t... want to see them?” I ask. 

“I want you to. I want you to see... you through my eyes. So you can see how much I care and how hard I worked to get to this point...” I look up into his eyes and sigh. 

“...okay.” and I reach to pick up one. But, he stops me. 

“That’s not the first one... um...” he shuffles through the books quickly and sets them out in a line in front of me. “Okay... one through fifteen.” I reach out my hand and take a deep breath before I take it. I bring it closer and open it. Inside is a few loose pieces of paper, tucked into the front cover. 

\--

**_Friday January 6_ ** **_ th _ ** **_2017_ **

**_New Subject_ **

**_Medium height brunette woman_ **

**_Age- Around 24-27_ **

**_Rey... her name is Rey..._ **

\--

And my name is written a few more times. And as the word goes across the paper... the ink gets darker and darker.

**_\--_ **

**_9:47 pm – Head into liquor store. Come out with two bottles. Vodka and... some sort of mix in._ **

**_\--_ **

Then the text continues into the notepad.

**_\--_ **

**_Saturday January 7_ ** **_ th _ ** **_2017_ **

**_She lives at 143 South Hampton Ave_ **

**_Apartment number three assuming since lights on third floor turned on four minutes after she entered building_ **

**_She’s... prefect._ **

**_The most perfect woman I’ve seen_ **

**_She seems innocent and pure. Caring and sweet... like a lamb... a lost little lamb..._ **

\--

I close the notebook but keep my thumb between the pages, to keep my place. I look up and see Ben watching. He’s staring... unblinking... 

I don’t say anything and continue to read. 

\--

**_Tuesday January 9_ ** **_ th _ ** **_2017 - DAY 1_ **

**_6:05 am – Lamb’s bedroom lights turn on._ **

**_6:50 am – Lamb exits apartment. Red blouse and black skirt. Dark stockings and black heels. Hair up. In pursuit._ **

**_7:10 am – Lamb stops at coffee shop. Cup and brown paper bag. Contents unknown._ **

**_7:30 am – Lamb enters building. Place of work?_ **

**_UNKNOWN_ **

**_12:15 – Lamb exits building. Walks across street – diner. In pursuit. Sits two booths away. Lamb orders turkey BLT, extra mayo and an iced tea._ **

**_12:45 pm – Lamb exits from diner. Back to work._ **

**_UNKNOWN_ **

**_4:30 pm – Lamb exits work. Does not head home. Enters grocery store._ **

**_4:50 pm – Lamb exits grocery store with plastic bags. Heads home._ **

**_5:25 pm – Lamb enters apartment building._ **

**_6:10 pm – Blonde enters apartment. Friend from first encounter._ **

**_10.25 pm - Lamb’s bedroom lights turn off._ **

**_End pursuit._ **

\--

**_Wednesday January 10_ ** **_ th _ ** **_2017 – DAY 2_ **

**_6:05 am – Lamb's bedroom light turns on_ **

**_DAY AS SAME AS YESTERDAY_ **

**_6:10 pm – Blonde does not come to apartment..._ **

**_9:40 pm – Blonde enters building (second job?)_ **

**_10:39 pm – Lamb's bedroom lights turn off._ **

\--

I read for who knows how long... without speaking to him, without giving him any kind of reassurance. But soon... I’m almost done with four of the fifteen notebooks. I put the notebook down and shut my eyes. This is a lot... and I’m not even half way done... 

“Read.” he says. I open my eyes and stare at the little black books filled with my secrets and schedules... why does he want me to read these? I know I asked for this... but...

… the man who wrote these... doesn’t sound like my Ben... 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter you all have been waiting for!!  
> \--  
> Also, my tumblr is adriannaxvi. Same as it is here. I don't really post anything but I suppose that's how you can get a hold of me and ask me questions or whatever!

Chapter Twelve- 

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

My Ben... doesn’t sound this... obsessive. 

But then again... how well do I know him? Obviously he knows me... a whole lot more. 

He... was always there...

I close the notebook and grab the next and the next... and the next until I get to number eight. And part way through, something captures my attention. 

**_\--_ **

**_Friday August 17_ ** **_ th _ ** **_2017 – DAY 222_ **

**_Lamb is driving to Las Vegas with Rose,_ ** **_Jyn_ ** **_and_ ** **_Paige_ ** **_. Seventeen hours... is a long way to drive... why aren’t they flying? Like that would be any safer..._ **

**_I want to go. I want to make sure nothing happens to my lamb... but..._ **

**_Yes... I will. I’ll go._ **

**_\--_ **

**_Lamb and friends enter hotel... not the best. I wish she would have gotten something better... it... doesn’t seem safe._ **

**_I’ll just stay here in my car... I need to make sure nothing happens to my lamb..._ **

**_\--_ **

**_7:08 pm – Lamb and friends leave hotel, get into_ ** **_Jyn_ ** **_’s_ ** **_car and drive off._ **

**_In Pursuit._ **

**_7:20 pm – They park and head into casino._ **

**_Cameras... there’s too many cameras..._ **

**_\--_ **

**_9:50 pm – Lamb wins $50 and spills her drink on her lap. She walks away from group, heading to bathroom..._ **

**_I could take her... I could take her now..._ **

**_She’s drunk... it would be easy but the fucking cameras! And... I don’t have anything to incapacitate her..._ **

**_I can’t take her..._ **

**_She stumbles into the bathroom. I wait until she comes back out and watch as she makes her way back. She puts her arm around_ ** **_Rose_ ** **_and lays her head on her shoulder._ **

**_She’s fine... she’ll be fine with her friends but still... I’ll stay. I’ll stay with my little lamb._ **

**_\--_ **

I look up at Ben and see his hand is covering his mouth. 

“You... you followed us to Vegas?” I ask. 

“Yes.” he says through his hand. 

“... why?”

“I wanted to... be with you. I wanted to make sure nothing happened to you. Are... are you mad?” he asks. I don’t say anything right away and sigh. 

“No...” I admit. He moves his hand and I see a slight smile. 

“You’re not?”

“...no. I... I’m not. I don’t know why though. I mean... I should be. I should be mad at the whole entire thing but... I’m not.” I smile. “I’m not mad Ben.” he grins and lays down. He puts his head into my lap and I put the book to the side. I put my hands to his head and he sighs. 

“Thank you.” he whispers. I don’t say anything and just stare down at his smiling face. 

He's so... sweet. And caring... he cared enough to make sure I didn’t get hurt... 

I run my fingers through his hair and think. 

He really does love me... 

I know he did but, now... I see it in writing. It’s all here in black and white. 

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

Rey lays her head on my shoulder and holds onto my arm as we watch her favorite movie. I found it online and bought it for her. She hasn’t seen it in a few years so she’s quite happy. I kiss her temple and I hear her sigh. 

It’s been five days since I showed her the notebooks... five days... and... everything is going to plan. Well, if I had one I’m sure it would look something like this...

After she read all fifteen notebooks... she still didn’t seem angry. If anything... she seemed... at ease. I had hoped she’d be okay with it but there was a part of me that didn’t want to show her. But, it just came to me. I needed to show her. She needed to know everything. She needs to know me... 

“Oh, I love this part.” she says. I smile and try to pay attention to the movie. I hate musicals... but... 

I look down at her and sigh. She loves it...

I put my head on hers and watch Johnny Depp woo the girl. 

\--

I change into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and sit on the bed. I listen to the sound of the shower running and sigh. It’s been a good few days, overall. I’m still agitated though... since I didn’t take anyone that night. I couldn’t... not when I saw her get so upset... 

She was mad because... I wanted someone else. That’s not what she said, but I could tell. I had given her pleasure a few hours before hand and I was... taking it away. She wanted me... and... I was going to be with someone else. Not in the same way at all but... still...

I hear the bathroom door open and I take a deep breath. It’s going to be difficult sleeping with her tonight. She’s been leaning on me all day. Trying to hold my hand. Laying her head on my chest... kissing my neck while we watched the movie...

I still want something... anything... and she’s not making it any easier... 

“Ben?” I hear. I get up from the bed and go to the hall. I see her head peaking from behind the bathroom door. 

“Yes?”

“I forgot a shirt...” she says. 

“Oh, okay. Hold on.” I go to my dresser and get her one of my t-shirts. I hand it to her and she smiles. 

“Thank you.” and she shuts the door. I go back into the bedroom and sit on the bed. I hear the door open again but this time she comes in. A towel is wrapped around her hair and she’s practically drowning in my shirt. You can’t even see her pajama shorts... 

I smile at the sight and she climbs into bed. 

“Did you want to read before bed?” I ask. 

“No... I think I’ll just go to sleep. You can read if you want though Ben.” I smile. 

“No, I’m fine. We’ll just sleep.” I get up from the bed, switch off the light and get into the covers. With the air conditioning it’s slightly chilly at night. And if... it’s colder... she’ll sleep closer to me. Which I enjoy. I put my glasses to the side and turn over on my side. I feel her press her legs against me and I smile. I feel her wiggle closer and I put my arm over her waist. I pull her to me and she puts her head under my chin. I hear her sigh in comfort and I shut my eyes. 

“Good night lamb.” 

“Good night Ben.” 

I keep my arm over her and when I’m sure she’s asleep... I allow myself to fall asleep as well. 

\--

I hear moaning... soft moaning... 

I open my eyes and see my lamb, laying on her back. I shut my eyes again when I’m almost asleep, I hear it again. I re-open my eyes slightly and see her arm moving underneath the covers. I stay silent and watch as her head push more into the pillow. Her eyes are closed from what I can tell... and... 

Oh...

She’s... touching herself... 

She masturbating... right next to me... 

She moves slightly and sighs. Her arm jiggles a bit and she continues. I watch for a moment, and repress the urge to take out my cock and join her. But... if she’s masturbating... that means she’s horny... which means... she most likely... wants me... 

I watch her wiggle in place and another soft moan escapes her lips. 

I’ve... I’ve waited long enough...

I’ve waited... far too long for this. And... I’m going to take what’s mine!

“Lamb.” I say. Her movements halt and she doesn’t say anything. “It’s alright.” I tell her. “If you’ll let me... I’ll help you.” she turns her head to me and opens her eyes. 

“... really?” she asks. 

“Yes lamb.”

“... please.” I get closer to her and put my hand to her belly. 

“What would you like?” I ask as I run my fingers along the hem of her shorts. 

“Anything.” she says. “Anything please.” 

“Hm...” I lower my hand and let it slip into her pajama shorts, only to realize she’s not wearing underwear. I groan as my fingers trace along her lips and she lets out a breath. Mine.. Mine... mine... “Is this what you we’re hoping for?” I ask. “For me to catch you in the act?”

“No....” she says. “But...” and I slip two fingers inside her. She gasps and doesn’t finish her thought. I move my fingers slowly at first, feeling her... teasing her... then I run my index finger along the top of her vagina and she jolts. “Oh...”

“Shh...” I calm her. I run my finger along the patch of flesh a few times and pull my fingers from her. “It’s okay.” I say before she can react. “I won’t stop...” she stares up at me and watches as I suck her arousal from my fingers. My eyes flutter at the taste and I lick my lips. “Undress.” and I slip out of the bed. I hear fidgeting behind me and I quickly strip from my clothes. I grab a condom from the bedside table and set it to the side. I turn back and see she’s uncovered herself and is laying back... naked... 

I let my eyes roam over her and mentally take a few pictures...

She’s everything I could ever imagine. She’s Aphrodite... a goddess... my lamb... my Rey...

“Prefect...” I get back onto the bed and she wraps her arms around my neck. She brings me to her and kisses me. I kiss her back with everything I have and let my hands roam over her breasts, abdomen, hips and ass. Her leg hitches over mine and she moans as my cock touches her stomach. I roll her onto her back and nestle myself between her legs. Her fingers go to my shoulders and rub while I continue to invade her mouth with my tongue. I kiss her for a few moments then kiss down her throat and to her chest. I take her right nipple into my mouth and suck a moment before I do the same to its twin. I want to go lower but... I know she’s wet enough and... I need her. Now. 

I kiss back up her throat and to her lips. I kiss her a few times and put my forehead to hers. I steady myself with one arm and take my cock in my other hand. I place myself at her entrance and slowly ease the tip in. She gasps and I remember the condom. 

“Fuck.” I get off her and quickly slip the condom on. I look back at her and see her watching. Waiting. “I’m sorry.” I say. “Almost forgot.” and I get back into position. She puts her hands to my face and stares into my eyes as I put myself back. I stare into her eyes and smile. Mine... mine... 

“Please Ben...” and I push into her.

“Oh fuck...” I mutter.

My lamb... my Rey... finally... 

She’s so tight... and warm... so inviting... 

Her hands move down to my shoulders and she loosens up slightly. 

“Good girl.” and I pull slightly out of her and push back in. Her fingers clamp into my skin and I make a steady pace for us. I want it slow... I want it fast... I want it anyway I can. 

I kiss her lips and she kisses me back with no abandon. Her legs wrap around me and I keep my pace. 

I’ve waited... so long...

One year... four months... and thirty days... for her... for this... 

This is how we’re supposed to be. Together...

I quicken my pace and she moans into my mouth. Her nails dig into my shoulders and I break our kiss. I put my head under her chin and groan into her neck. She feels so good... so perfect... my Rey!

I put one hand to her thigh and lift it slightly. Her legs are already around me but I need her closer. So much closer...

“Ben...” I hear. I shut my eyes tighter and take my hand from her hip. I reach my hand between us. I find her clit and begin to tease it. It’ll make her come faster. “Ben... oh god...” She whimpers and her nails dig even deeper. I hiss through my teeth and move my fingers faster. 

“Come on Rey.” I say. “Come for me lamb!” she begins to writhe underneath me and soon...

“Ben!” I continue my pace and I’m right behind her. I ride through her orgasm and claim my own. I curse into her neck and once I’m through... I kiss her neck then lips. She kisses me back lazily and I smile as she retracts her nails. I groan and gently pull out of her. I lay down on top of her and her fingers go to my head. She begins to pet me and I lay my head to her chest. I keep my eyes shut and listen to her heart pound. 

We stay like that a few moments then I look up at her. 

“I love you...” 

“I... love you too...” my eyes widen and I stare into her eyes. “I love you too Ben.” I just look at her and she smiles down at me. I smile back and nuzzle into her breasts. 

She loves me...

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

I wake up to the smell of pancakes. Chocolate chip pancakes... 

I smile to myself and cuddle into the covers. I don’t want to leave this bed... ever. But...

My stomach growls at the smell and I open my eyes. To see Ben. Standing at the door, with a tray in his hands. I smile at him and he smiles back. He comes closer and I sigh as I see him in a white muscle shirt and pajama pants. I stay how I am and he sets the tray down at the foot of the bed. He kneels down and puts his head next to mine. 

“Good morning my lamb.” he says. 

“Morning...” he leans forward and kisses my lips. He pulls back and I see the happiness in his eyes. 

“Breakfast. Your favorite.”

“Thank you.” he gets up and I sit up. I rest against the headboard and he puts the tray on my lap. He climbs over me and sits on the bed. He puts his arm over me and I start to dig in. He put whipped cream on them too... 

I smile and look over at him. He’s just watching me. 

“Aren’t you hungry?” I ask. 

“I am.” I get a piece of pancake on my fork and hold it up to him. He eats it and smiles. “Thank you very much.” he kisses my temple and I give him another bite. I take the next bite, then give the next to him... then me, then him and I continue this until all the food is gone. 

He gets off the bed and takes the tray to the kitchen. I lay back down and make myself comfy. But, then I hear his voice. 

“Lamb.” I open my eyes and see him at the door again. “Let’s take a shower.”

“I took one last night...”

“I know. But, I think I’ve dirtied you enough for another.”

“Fair enough.” and I get out from under the covers. He smiles and I cock my head to the side. “What?” 

“Nothing... just enjoying the view...” the view... 

I look down and cover myself as much as I can. 

“Oh my god!” he laughs and comes over to me. He wraps his arms around me and lifts me bridal style. I put my face into his shoulder and groan. 

“I don’t mind obviously.” he says. “You’re quite a sight to behold...” I smile and put my arm around his neck. “Come on. Shower.” and he takes me to the bathroom. He sets me down on the cold floor and begins to mess with the knobs. I quickly look into the mirror and see my hair is wild. I run my fingers through it and groan at the tangles. I stop messing with it and smile at the girl in the mirror. 

She’s... happy. Her skin is glowing and her eyes are bright. 

Ben comes up behind me and puts his head on my shoulder. He smiles and looks at me through the mirror. 

“So beautiful...” he whispers. He kisses my cheek and turns around. “Shower time lamb.”

“...okay.” and I step into the shower. I go to close the curtain, but he slides it back. 

“Excuse you.” he says as he steps in. “I think I said...  _let’s take a shower_. Not...  _you_ , take a shower.” I try to keep my eyes above his waist... but...

My eyes begin to ogle him as he steps closer to me. 

He’s... glorious...

I go under the stream and he takes my face in his hands. He begins to kiss me and I wrap my arms around his neck. I moan as he pushes me against the wall and his body presses to mine. Water runs over our heads and his tongue slips into my mouth. We kiss for god knows how long then he ends it. He smiles down at me, turns me around then reaches for the soap. I feel his hands on me and I close my eyes as he rubs the soap onto my belly and breasts. I lean against him and I feel his hard-on. I move my hips and he groans. 

“I’m trying to get you clean...” he says. 

“I don’t want to be clean... not yet.” I turn around and tangle my fingers in his hair. I bring him to me and he lifts me up. I wrap my legs around him and he puts me to the wall again. I end the kiss and smile. He smiles back and I kiss his nose. 

My Ben... 

Mine... mine... mine... 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Creepy Ben coming back at ya!

Chapter Thirteen - 

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I walk through the store and throw item after item into the cart. I got paid today, so I might be slightly overspending on goodies for my lamb. She likes sweets... and she’s been very good. I put one last box of cookies into the basket and go to get everything else. 

I check off the last item from the list and smile as I see her note at the bottom of the paper. 

_Hurry home soon_

_Love, Lamb_

I sigh and head to the cashier. I put everything onto the belt and she rings them up. I watch as the total rises and sigh as the cashier tries to make small talk. I look up at her and see her smiling face. She’s pretty. Black hair and blue eyes. And... I can see myself slicing her throat open... I can’t take her through. She’s noticed me. I don’t take those who notice and bat their eyes. It ruins the fun... 

I smile back and answer her questions as politely as I can while she continues to work. After I pay and put the bags into the basket she smiles again. 

“Um... maybe...” she begins. “... we could... go to dinner?” she asks. 

“Sorry. I’m taken.” and I take the receipt from her. She frowns slightly and I walk away. 

I put all the bags into the trunk and as I push the cart into a return place, someone catches my eye. I turn my head slightly and see a woman, maybe in her twenties. Maybe. She’s dressed in white shorts and a blue tank top. Along with heeled sandals. Her slightly reddish blonde hair is flowing around her shoulders. 

Oh yes... she’ll be good... I get into my car and keep an eye on her. As she pulls out of her parking spot, I get behind her and follow. She drives and drives then finally pulls in front of a duplex and I slow down. She grabs the bags from the back of her car and heads into the front door. I smile and grab a notebook from my consul. I write down the address and her license plate number. 

I find my way back to a road I’m familiar with and head home. 

Once all the bags are inside and on the dining table, I go to the basement and call for my lamb. She hurries up the stairs and goes to my side. I close the door, put the bookcase back into place and turn to her. I smile and lean down. She softly pecks my lips twice and smiles. 

“Let’s put away the groceries then I’ll see about finding that movie you want.” I say. 

“Okay.” and she turns and heads to the kitchen. I watch her walk and follow after her. 

\--

As lamb watches Dracula, I search the internet for the girl I saw. With some digging I find her name is Natalie Powers, a college student. Twenty-one years old. I write down a few things in a new notebook and turn to see Lamb watching me. I smile but she doesn’t smile back. 

“What’s wrong?” I ask. “Is that... not the movie you wanted?”

“No... it is.” she says. 

“Then...?”

“Who is she?” she asks. 

“Who’s who?”

“The girl. The girl you’re going to stalk, rape and murder.” 

“Lamb-”

“No, I want to know.” she says sternly. 

“She’s no one lamb. Go back to your show.” and I begin to write again. I don’t even hear her get off the couch but soon my notebook is being taken off my desk. I look up and see her reading what little I've put down. “Lamb.” I warn. She looks at me from behind the notebook and I hear her sigh. 

“Why her?” she asks.

“Lamb... I don’t want you to worry yourself about-”

“Girls your fucking.” my eyes widen at her remark and I stay quiet. “Go on. Tell me. I want to hear it.”

“No, you don’t. Now give that back.” I say while holding out my hand. 

“No.” she says. 

“No?”

“No!” she yells. I take a breath and sigh. 

“Lamb... give me the notebook.” I say. She shakes her head. “Give it.” she just stares at me and I reach out for it. She moves it from my reach and walks backwards. “Lamb.” I say. She shakes her head again and I sigh once more. “Give it to me... or I’ll have you sleep downstairs tonight.” and her eyes widen. “Yeah, that's right. Hand it over. Now.” she watches me a moment then puts the notebook in my hand. “Thank you.” I say. “Now, go back to your movie. Afterwards we’re going to sleep.” she doesn’t say anything and goes back to sitting on the couch. I put the notebook down and watch the back of her head. She slouches into the cushions and I hear her loudly sigh. “Don’t pout. Or you’ll go to sleep now.” I warn. I hear her mutter something. “What was that?” 

“I said, fine, Ben.”

“Good.” and I turn back to the computer. 

_…_

_“Please!” Carmen yells. “Please let me go!” I smile and lift my pants up my legs. I button them and turn back to her. She’s tied to the bed... legs spread... arms to her sides. Not comfortable in the slightest. Just how I like them. I like them to hurt. I like them to feel the pain and fear. I run my finger along her back and she flinches away from my touch._

_“No...” I say. “You my dear... are too much fun.”_

_“P-please...” she cries. “I-I won’t say anything... I-I just w-want to go... home...”_

_“I know you won’t. But... that means nothing to me really. Because... in... about... ten minutes. Our time together will be over.”_

_“Y-your... letting me... go?” she asks. I take my belt from my jeans and sigh._

_“In a way...” I say. “... though... I’m afraid you’re not going to like it.”_

_…_

_I look down at Carmen’s body and sigh. She wasn't the best lay. But... she did keep me at ease. Before I continue to get rid of her body I go back in the house and check on Rey. She’s home. I knew that much. She’s in her bedroom. Curled up in her bed watching a movie on her laptop. I can’t tell what it is from the angle but no matter. I watch her for a few minutes and smile as she lays back and moves the laptop. She puts her head on one of the pillows and continues to watch._

_My lamb..._

_All she did was move positions and I smiled. She... she makes me happy. Just... being there. Being her. Walking around, talking, doing nothing it’s all fascinating to me. She’s... everything. The first woman I’ve had feelings for... the only..._

_I never got to date in school... homeschooling didn’t exactly have a large dating pool. And in college... I was awkward. The only girl who even looked at me saw the monster behind the mask before I could even say hi. And... my first... my first taking... my first conquest..._

_Abigail..._

_She was nice... she was always nice to me when I went into the diner after a late-night study session. And... when I saw her walking to her car alone... I couldn’t help myself. I pushed her against the car and squeezed her throat before I could even rationalize what I was doing. She felt so good around me as I fucked her behind the diner. How she screamed into her apron and how her fingers clawed into my skin..._

_It was much nicer than my first sexual encounter..._

_That one... still haunts me..._

\--

Two weeks later, I’m ready to take Natalie. She works late at a bar off campus and to my luck, has little security. She’ll be an easy catch. And... I haven’t taken anyone in... over a month. Lamb’s been taking up so much of my time. And the last time I had the urge I couldn’t go through with it. Lamb was so upset with me... 

I shake my head and return my attention to the stake out. I don’t have much longer. Thirty minutes tops before I can take my new playmate. 

Two minutes past her normal exit time, she appears. She walks out the back entrance and throws away some garbage. I get out from my hiding place behind another car and quickly go up behind her. She goes to turn around, but I’m faster. I push the needle into her neck and she collapses on the ground. I get her into my arms and quickly toss her in my trunk. 

\--

As the garage door closes I get out of my car and enter the passcode at the door. It beeps open and I leave the door open. I pop open the trunk, get Natalie and take her inside. I lay her on the kitchen floor then shut everything. I lock the door once again and go into the living room. I breathe a moment and get lamb from the basement. 

She... can’t be down there anymore... at least while I’m having my way with Natalie. I know she’ll be good, so I’ll just have her stay upstairs. 

“Lamb.” I call down. “I’m home.” she appears at the foot of the stairs and smiles. 

“Hi.” I hear. 

“Hi there. Come give me a kiss.” she walks up to me and before I can lean down she speaks. 

“Are you better?” she asks. I sigh. 

“No... not yet.”

“Why not? Didn’t you-” and she stops talking. She stares up at me a moment and shuts her eyes. “No... please say you didn’t...” 

“There’s no need in putting myself in more danger than I have to lamb.” I cup her face with my hands. “I’m sorry, but she won’t be here long.” she shakes her head and keeps her eyes shut. “I promise I’ll do my business and get rid of her. Okay?” I say. “Two days... three at the most. And, I got enough groceries I shouldn’t have to leave while she’s here. So you won’t have to be down there with her. Alright lamb?” she doesn’t answer and I sigh. “Lamb. You know... you know I have to do this... so I don’t hurt you. So I don’t-” she opens her eyes and speaks. 

“How long has it been?” 

“What do you mean?” I ask. 

“How long has it been since your last...” she moves her hand around. “...this?” 

“Over a month.”

“And... you’ve been fine.”

“Yes but you’ve...”

“Helped yes I know. But... why aren’t you fine anymore? What am I doing wrong?”

“You’re not doing a thing wrong. I just have this... ache that needs to be taken care of. And-”

“What can I do?” she asks. “Ben, just tell me what I can do to help you.” 

“There’s nothing you can do lamb. You can’t change me, you can’t help me.” tears begin to well in her eyes. “Lamb...”

“I can do it.”

“What?”

“I can do it. Whatever you... need me to. I’ll... scream... or... fight you off. Just... please don’t...”

“Lamb...” I kiss her forehead and she cries. “I don’t want you like that. I’ve told you before. I need you the way you are, I want you the way you are.” she puts her arms around me and I hug her back. I put my head on top of hers and sigh. “You’re not like them. You’re not meant for that. I can’t hurt you... I won’t hurt you...” I say. “Do I think about it... yes. But... in the end... I know I could never hurt you. You mean too much to me.” I tell her. “That’s why I do it to others... so my temptation doesn’t reach you. So I don’t slip up and hurt you.” she sniffles and sighs. 

“I don’t want anyone else to have you...” she whispers. I smile. 

“It’s not the same.” I explain. “It’s not making love, like I do with you. And you know deep down that I'm right.” I kiss the top of her head. “You know I have to do this.”

“I don’t want you to...”

“I know. But... I do.” I say. “I need to...” I sigh. “Taking this ache away isn’t your burden to bare. All you need and can do... is love me through it.” I tell her. “Just... be here. Be you. Kiss me. Love me. And... I’ll be fine.” she holds me tight and lets out a ragged breath. 

“I do love you...”

“I love you too lamb.” I kiss the top of her head again and shut my eyes. “I love you so much...” her grip loosens and she takes a step back. “Come here.” she comes closer and I kiss the trails of tears. As softly as I can. “It’s okay.” I whisper against her skin. “Everything’s okay. I’m here. Ben’s here.” she puts her arms around my neck and I lift her up. I carry her to the bedroom and lay her on the bed. She stares up at me and I sigh. “Get ready for bed. I’ll be with you in a few minutes.” she just nods her head and I go back to Natalie. 

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

One day... one day... and I can’t take it anymore. I don’t like him going down there. I don’t like the thought of someone else having my Ben... 

I sit on the couch and watch the metal door. He’s down there now. For the second time today. With whatever the fuck her name is. I want her gone... I want her out of our home! He doesn’t belong down there with her. He belongs with me and only me! I lay my head on the arm and try to keep calm. I want her gone... 

The door beeps open and he comes out. His shirt is off and he’s sweating. I glare as he shuts the door and puts the bookcase back. He turns to me and I see his chest move as he breaths heavily. 

“Anything good on TV tonight?” he asks. 

“...no.” he sighs. 

“A movie then.” and he heads to the bathroom. I wait a moment then when I hear the shower start, I get up. I undress as I walk and once I’m in the bathroom I step into the shower with him. He turns around and sigh. “No lamb.” he says. “Get out.” and he puts his head back under the water. I sigh and put my arms around him. I move my hands from his pecks, to his abs then-

He catches my hand and turns around. 

“I said no.” 

“But-”

“No, not while we have a guest.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Now get out.” and he opens the curtain. I stare up at him and shut the curtain. I put my hands to arms and he sighs. “Lamb.”

“I want you.”

“I know. But-”

“Please. You’ve gotten rid of the ache-”

“No, I haven’t. It’s not over until I kill her.” he explains. 

“Then kill her!” I yell. “Kill her and  _fuck_  me.” he just stares down at me. “Okay?” I ask. “Just... do it. Get it over with.”

“I’ve had her one day lamb.”

“Yeah, and you’ve fucked her at least twice. That’s enough.” I say. 

“No it’s not. I told you, two or three days.” I shut my eyes and shake my head. “This is what I need. Okay? I need to get out all of these bad feelings before I touch you again.” and my eyes widen. 

“So... you won’t... not with me. For... three days?”’

“Yes.”

“But I want you.” I say. 

“I want you too. But... not in the way I need it right now.” I drop my hands and step out of the shower. I gather my clothes from the trail I left and put them back on.

 I head into the bedroom and shut the door. I lock it before I can even think and get into bed. I lay my head down on the pillows and hear is voice. 

“Lamb. Come on now. Don’t be mad with me.” and he tries to open the door. “Lamb open the door.” he says. He jiggles the handle and I shut my eyes. “Lamb.” and he waits. “Lamb!” he says. “Open the door!” 

“No...” I whisper to myself. 

“Rey open this door now!” he yells. “Rey!” and he bangs on the door. I cuddle into the covers and cover my head. 

He bangs on the door a couple more times then gives up. I turn over and try my best to sleep. 

\--

When I wake up, I don’t smell breakfast. I change into a pair of jean shorts and a pink t-shirt then un-lock the door. I peak out and don’t see him so I leave the bedroom. I look around the corner and see he’s at his desk. I hear him typing so I go to the bathroom. I brush my teeth then head back out. I walk into the living room and he slightly turns his head to me. He goes back to working and I see he’s only wearing his jeans from yesterday. I take a seat on the couch and watch him. 

He... doesn’t seem angry...

After ten or so minutes he stops typing and I hear the printer begin to make noise. He takes a sheet of paper from it then gets up. He comes over to me and holds it out. I take it from him and he walks into the hall. I hear the bedroom door close and I read the freshly printed paper. 

**_Rules for Times with Guests_ **

**_1- Lamb is not allowed to touch Ben_ **

**_2- Lamb is not allowed to shower/bathe with Ben_ **

**_3- Lamb will change in separate room than Ben (door shut)_ **

**_4- Lamb will do as she is told_ **

**_5- Lamb will not go into basement_ **

**_6- Ben will not leave home while guest is present_ **

**_7- Ben will not subject Lamb to his business_ **

**_8- Ben will only keep guests a maximum of three days_ **

**_9- Ben will not engage in sexual intercourse with Lamb while guest is present_ **

**_10- Ben will only take a guest once every one or two months (if needed)_ **

I gape at the paper and put it next to me. I just let it sink in and he comes back from the bedroom. Dressed in a black t-shirt and the same jeans. He stands in front of me and sigh. 

“Thoughts?” he asks. I don’t look up at him but speak. 

“I don’t like it...” I say. 

“I expected as much. Anything else?”

“Why do we need rules?” I ask. 

“Because we both need boundaries at this time. I can’t have you jumping in the shower with me and feeling me up.” he says. “It won’t work.” I nod my head. 

“...okay.”

“Any questions?” he asks. 

“...no.”

“Good.” he says. “You can have cereal for breakfast. Forgive me but I don’t feel like cooking for you this morning.” and he goes back to his desk. I turn in my seat and look at him. “What?” he asks. 

“I love you.” I say. Make it better... make him feel better...

“I love you too. But, that doesn’t change anything. Instead of acting like the adult you are... you locked me out of my own bedroom last night. Just because we had an argument.” he says. He begins to work on his computer and after a few minutes I speak. 

“I like touching you...” I say. 

“I know. But... every time you touch me a fire burns right to my crotch.” he says. “You have this uncanny way of turning me on with only a look but when you touch me... it’s a whole different story.” 

“Can I kiss you?” I ask. He sighs. 

“Yes. You may. But, only small kisses. No tongue, no making out.”

“...okay.” and I turn around. I stare at the blank tv and try not to cry. 

\--

Two days pass... and I can’t help but smile as Ben leaves the basement with a heavy tarp. He lays it on the kitchen floor then turns to me. He comes to me and leans down. I kiss his lips once then he pulls away. 

“I’ll be home once I get rid of our guest. I won’t have you go downstairs but I want you to be good while I’m gone.” he says. 

“Okay Ben.” 

“Make sure all the blinds are drawn and don’t go to the windows or doors. You'll be safe and sound.” I nod my head. “Just keep the TV low and if someone comes to the door ignore it and go to the bedroom until they go away.”

“Alright.” he kisses my forehead and sighs. 

“I won’t be gone too long, a few hours at most. But, if I’m not home by midnight... go to bed.” I nod my head and he smiles. “Be a good girl.” and he kisses my forehead again. He opens the kitchen door then picks up the girl. I smile and he smiles back. He goes through the exit and shuts the door behind him. I turn in my seat and push play on the movie I’m watching. 

A few hours... only a few more hours and he’ll be mine again. 

\--

I open my eyes slightly to the feeling of the bed move. I turn over and see Ben climbing into bed with me. I smile and turn over. He lays on his back and I inhale his scent. He smells like his soap and... evergreen trees... 

I throw my arm over him and he tenses under my touch. But then he turns into my arms and sighs. 

“Welcome home.” I say sleepily. 

“Thank you, lamb.” he drapes his arm over my hip and I hold him close. I smile as he nuzzles his face into my neck and shut my eyes. 

He’s back... my Ben is back. 

I can touch him... I can bathe with him... 

Everything is right with the world again... 

I hear his breathing even out and I run my fingers through his hair. 

“My Ben...” I whisper. 

“Yes... yours...” he whispers back. I take a breath and go to sleep holding onto him for dear life. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun!

Chapter Fourteen-

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

_One and a Half Months Later_

\--

Since Ben’s last... guest. Things have been great. He's attentive and sweet and... he doesn’t seem to have the ache. But... suddenly it returns. He won’t let me touch him or sit too close. He barley kisses me and when he does... it’s like he doesn’t want to... 

I sit on the couch and bring a spoonful of ice-cream to my mouth. I wipe a tear from falling down my cheek and watch the celebrity chef yell at people. 

He left me... to get his newest conquest. Some woman named Suzie... 

He’s been watching her for a week or so... and he said it was time. And... I can’t help but feel... jealous and angry and sad. He doesn’t want me... my Ben- no! Not my Ben, not when he’s going to be fucking someone else... 

I hear the kitchen door beep and sigh. He’s back... 

I don’t turn around and I hear something- no someone being put on the kitchen floor. I hear the door beep close then his footsteps. I see him stand to the side of me and I continue to eat my ice cream. 

“Lamb.” he says. I don’t say anything... the silent treatment... it makes me feel better. I’ve been doing this for about two days now... “Okay... well. I have our guest. I’m going to take her down. Do you want anything before I go down there?” he asks. I don’t answer and he sighs. “The silent treatment still?” he asks. “Rey...” he walks in front of me and I just stare at his dark hoodie. He kneels down and looks into my eyes. “You have to talk to me sometime.” he says. “Or... will you speak once the guest leaves? Hm?” I just look at him and he goes down to his knees. He inches closer and puts his hands on my thighs. “Rey... come on and talk to me. Just a hello will do.” I don’t speak... and I see anger in his eyes. He takes the bowl from me and I gasp. “No more sweets. Not until you behave.” I watch him take my ice-cream into the kitchen and I cross my arms over my chest. 

I watch the show and he comes back over. But, he just looks down at me then swings open the bookcase. And... I watch as he enters the code into the keypad. Which... I’ve never done. He doesn’t want me to know it. So... I won’t leave but... maybe... 

1

6

1

7

#

I quickly turn my gaze back to the TV and he comes back in front of me. 

“Please...” he says. “One word... anything.” I slowly look up at him and sigh. He... makes me melt....

“... I love you...” I whisper. He lets out a breath and lifts me up. He gets me in a hug and sighs. 

“I love you too my lamb.” he says. I smile and close my eyes. I lay my head on his chest and he kisses the top of my head. “I’ll be back to normal soon, okay?”

“...okay.” 

“Good girl. My good girl.” and he kisses my head again. 

I hear a groan from the kitchen and turn to it. 

“Shit... she’s waking up...” he lets go of me and I stand there wishing he would take me in his arms again. He picks her up and begins to take her down the stairs. “Get the door for me will you?” he calls. I walk to it and shut the door. I leave the bookcase how it is and go to the kitchen. I see my ice-cream in the sink with water in it. I sigh and get a water bottle from the fridge. I take a drink and think of what to do. I have the code... I could leave. That would show him.

I could leave and he would be so sad that I left... but... so would I...

I shut my eyes and breathe. I don’t want to leave so why did I look at the code?! I bang my head against the fridge and sigh. I open my eyes and the knife set catches my eye. 

No... 

No... could I?

I shouldn’t... even think...

But... he wouldn’t have her anymore if I... no! I turn away and curse myself. How could I be thinking of killing someone that doesn't even want to be here?!

I leave the kitchen I go back to the couch. I lay across it and shut my eyes.

No... 

I wouldn’t... I couldn’t... 

But... then again...

\--

I need to get Ben out of the house. So my plan can take wing. I need to kill her. I need to kill Suzie. He won’t fuck her if she’s not alive. I know that much. And... that thought gives me comfort. If he wouldn’t of said he was thinking of keeping her an extra day... I wouldn’t be obsessing over it. No. That's not part of the rules. He’s not going to break that rule! But... he is going to break one...

“Ben?” he turns to me from the stove and smiles. 

“Yes lamb?”

“Um... I need tampons.” he turns completely from the sauce pot and looks at me. 

“So soon?”

“Yeah... and it’s heavy. Um... before you said that Armitage could maybe get me birth control, right?”

“Yeah... he's trying to find a supplier.”

“That would help keep my periods steady. And less heavy...”

“Okay, I’ll text him later and ask if he’s found anything.” he says. “Do you need them now?” he asks. 

“Um, yeah. I used the last of last months box yesterday.” he sighs. 

“I shouldn’t leave you...” he says. 

“I know... and I don’t want you to. But... I need them...”

“Okay, I’ll go after dinner.” 

“Thank you.” he nods his head and turns back to the sauce. I smile to myself. I know he’ll be upset with me for lying. But... I can’t have her here...

I need her gone...

\--

Ben smiles as he leaves through the kitchen door and I wait until I can hear his car pull from the driveway. I wait a few minutes, grab a knife from the box near the microwave and head to the basement. I put the knife in the back pocket of my shorts then I throw the bookcase back... and just look at the keypad. I shouldn’t... but... I am...

1

6

1

7

#

And the door beeps. I open it and hear soft whimpering from down the stairs. I knew that feeling for a while... maybe not exactly what she’s feeling but... something similar. He never raped me... or threatened to kill me... but... being down here... was torture in its self. I walk down the stairs and see her. Black hair... falling around her face... arms and chest tied to the chair. 

Like Laura... almost...

She looks up and her eyes go wide. She mumbles something through the rope in her mouth and I walk over to her. I untie the rope and she sighs. 

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” she cries. “Please... please help me get out of here!” 

“Um...” I don’t know what to say. No sorry I came to kill you because my man is fucking you and not me. Yeah, no I can’t say that... 

“Please... please help me.” she cries. 

“...okay.” and I go around her. I begin to untie her hands and chest then her legs. She stand and reaches for her shirt. She throws it on and looks around. She goes over to my old bed and picks up a pair of jeans. She throws them on and comes over to me. She gets me in a hug and smiles. 

“Thank you so much.” and she goes to the stairs. I stand there a moment and it hits me...

No! No! No!

I run after her and go up the stairs. She’s at the door. Pushing the buttons on the keypad. Shit! I go to her and pull her away from it. 

“Stop!” I tell her. 

“Do you know it?” she asks. 

“Um...”

“You... you knew the one to... down there so...” 

“No... I don’t... um... you need to go back down.” I say. 

“...what?”

“You need to go back down. This was a mistake.” and I take her arm in hand. I try and pull her but... she’s strong. She pulls out of my grasp and looks out the small window of the door. 

“Fuck that!” and she runs in the kitchen. She tries that door and turns to me when it makes the wrong code sound. “Help me!” she yells. She runs from the kitchen and into the living room. She looks around then goes to his computers. 

“Don’t touch those!” I yell. I put my arms around her and pull her from his desk. She writhes in my arms and I push her toward the basement. She stumbles and looks at me. 

“What... what in the hell? I thought you were helping me?” I shake my head. 

“No... no I’m not.” and I take the knife from my back pocket. Her eyes go wide and she backs up. 

“What in the fuck is going on?!” she yells. 

“I’m sorry...” I say. ”I... I’m so sorry...” and I run at her. She ducks out of the way and I swipe the blade towards her. She backs up into the wall and I slice her arm. She gasps and grabs my hand. “Let go!” she kicks me down and climbs on top of me. She keeps her grip on my wrist and I can’t get to her. She slaps my face and I knee her in the stomach. She groans and I kick her backwards. I climb on top of her and sink the blade into her side. She screams out and I feel tears well in my eyes. I stab again then all of a sudden, I’m on my back again. She wrestles the knife from me and it cuts into my hand. I yelp and she throws it to the side. She punches me and I feel the blood from her wound seep into my shirt. I fight her off and she punches me again. I cry and try to reach for the knife. She looks at my hand and gets it in her own. She holds it my throat and shakes her head. 

“I’m not dying... not today...” I shut my eyes and I feel the knife press into my skin. I flinch at the cut and then it’s gone. I open my eyes and she drops the knife. “We need to get out of here...” she says. “I don’t want to fight you... so please... just help me...” I look into her brown eyes and sigh.

“No.” and I kick her in the stomach. She puts her arms around her and I kick her chest. She falls backwards... and I hear... her falling down the stairs. I sit up and crawl to the doorway. I look down and see her laying at the bottom of the stairs...

I just watch and see she isn’t moving. I get up and slowly go down. I hop over her and see her dark eyes are open. I put my hand to her neck and try to find a pulse...

There isn’t one... 

I put my hands to my face but regret it immediately. There’s blood all over my hands. I look down and see it’s all over my shirt and my thighs... how in the world did she bleed this much? I backup and take a seat on my old bed. I did it... I killed her...

But... I don’t feel happy... or sad... or anything...

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I push the code into the keypad and enter through the kitchen. I walk in and set the bag on the dining table. 

“Lamb.” I call. “I’m back.” I walk into the living room and go to smile but... I don’t see my lamb. What I do see... is blood. And a knife...

 And... the entrance to the basement is open... 

Panic. All I feel is panic... 

“Lamb?! I yell. I hurry past the blood-stained carpet and look down the stairs. Suzie’s body.... 

Body?

What in the...

I go down them and call for my lamb. 

“Lamb! Rey!” and when I get to the end of the stairs... I see her. She’s sitting on the bed, hands on her thighs. She’s... bloody... 

What happened?! What happened to my Rey!? 

I go over to her and put my hands to her face. She’s spacing out... 

“What happened?” I ask. She doesn’t say anything and I sigh. “Lamb... what happened?” nothing... nothing... “Rey!” I yell. Her eyes blink and it seems like she snaps out of whatever hold she’s under. She looks up at me and tears well in her eyes. 

“Ben...” and she wraps her arms around me. 

I bring her close and she cries to my chest. 

“Lamb what happened?” I ask again. 

“I’m sorry...” she cries. “I’m... so sorry...”

“Tell me what happened...”

“I... I...” she cried. I sigh and just hold her to me. 

“It’s okay. Everything’s okay. Just tell me what happened so I can help...”

“I... I killed... her...” She... what... “I... I was so jealous... and I-I wanted her gone... I just wanted her gone...” she cries. “I’m so so sorry...” 

She killed Suzie... my lamb... my innocent... pure hearted little lamb... 

“I... don’t... I’m so... sorry Ben...” 

“What happened?” I ask. “How did you even get down here?”

“... the code...” she whispers. “1-6-1-7 pound sign...” She knows the code... the day I first saw her... January 6th, 2017... how in the hell does she know it?! “I... watched you the other day... I know... I know it was bad but...” she breathes and I pet  her head. “And....I lied... I told you, I needed... but I didn’t... so I could... so I could...” she planned this? She planned to kill her. “... I took a knife from the kitchen... but then I thought of just letting her go... it was a mistake... she fought me off and she... and I... kicked her down the stairs...”

“Why are you bloody?” I ask. 

“... I stabbed her... t-two times... and cut her arm... then she...” she puts her hand to her throat and my eyes go to a small cut in her skin. She hurt my lamb... 

I feel anger rising in my belly... if she wasn’t already dead I’d fucking kill her! 

I put my finger to the cut and she flinches as blood seeps from it. I shut my eyes a moment then take her bloody hands in mine. I look at them and turn them over. There’s a gash in her right hand… it’s starting to crust over…

It’s not deep... but enough to make her hurt. I sigh and shut my eyes a moment. 

She killed... for me...

My little lamb... my Rey... killed someone... for me. Because... she didn’t want me with someone else. She didn’t want Suzie to have me. I know the feeling... like when she slept with Poe... I thought of killing him. Right then and there but I didn’t... I didn’t want to give myself away... but my lamb...

My lamb did...

I smile and kiss the tops of her hands. I hear her sigh and I look up at her. 

“I’m not angry.” I say. “I’m not.” she shakes her head and I kiss her hands again. “I’m... happy...” she stares into my eyes and she lets out a ragged breath. 

“...really?”

“Yeah... I’m very happy lamb.” I say. She just looks at me and I smile again. “I’m… upset you got the code… I’m upset you disobeyed the rules… but I’m... elated that you killed her.” 

“…w-why?” She asks. 

“Because… you killed for me.” I say. “You... cared enough to... take things into your own hands. And... that makes me very...  _very_  happy.” She sniffles and I lean up to kiss her forehead. “Thank you, Rey.” And I press my lips to her skin. I hear her start to cry again and she wraps her arms around me once more. I hold her to me and smile. I didn’t know she had this in her… maybe she didn’t until now… but either way… “Come on.” I say. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” And I gather her in my arms. I carry her up the stairs and I shut the door behind us. I nudge the bookcase closed with my leg and take her to the bathroom. I set her down and begin to run a bath. 

She sits on the side of the tub and watches the water rise. 

“Um... what about-”

“I’ll take care of that later. Right now... I’m going to take care of you.” I sit up and pull her up. I begin to undress her and she smiles. I smile back and lift her now blood stained; light blue shirt over her arms. I toss it to the side and unclasp her bra. It’s slightly stained as well... all of these clothes will have to be burned... 

She didn’t know to cover herself or how to kill someone properly... she just acted on her emotions. She didn’t even stab her to death... the tumble down the stairs did that. But... still... she got her hands dirty...

I finish taking off her clothes and help her into the tub. She settles into the water and I kneel down next to the tub. I take the loofa in hand and begin to wash the blood from her. She watches me a moment then shuts her eyes. 

Soon the water is red and murky so I drain it. I bring her out of the tub and dry her. Once I’m done, I throw the towel into the hamper and look up her body. She smiles down at me and I lightly kiss the tops of her thighs. She’s perfect... more perfect than I could ever imagine. I hold on to her legs and she puts her hands to my hair. 

“I love you...” she says. 

“I know... I know you do lamb.” I sigh. “I love you too.” 

I stand and go to the sink. I open the cupboard below it and take out my first aid kit. I hand it to her and she holds it to her chest. I take her in my arms and carry her into the bedroom. I sit her down and grab a pair of underwear from the drawer along with one of my t-shirts. I slip her underwear on then put my t-shirt over her head. She sits up, lays the kit down and puts her shirt on the rest of the way. I kneel down and open the kit. I find what I need and ask for her hand. She puts it in mine and I squirt some medicated ointment onto her wound. She flinches and I rub it in with a q-tip.

“It’s okay.” I say. “Ben’s here...” I but a gauze on the wound then wrap a bandage around her hand. I tape it down then move to her neck. I smile softly at her and she lifts her head so I can see it better. I put a small amount of ointment on it as well and apply a band aid. She smiles and I run my thumb over her bottom lip. I lean forward and catch her lips with mine. She moans and I hold her head in place. I stop it but she starts the kiss all over again. I laugh into her mouth and she pulls me onto the bed. I climb over her and lay on top of her. She automatically wraps her legs around me and deepens the kiss.

I end the kiss and she groans. 

“It’s okay.” I say. “Let’s just... calm down and I’ll go take care of our guest.” 

“I don’t want you to leave...”

“I know but I have to get rid of her body.” I say. “I have to go...” 

“Can I go with you?” she asks as she leans up and kisses the tip of my nose. “Please? I’ll be good...” she whispers.

“I know you will... but... you can’t go.” I say. “I’m sorry but I’m not going to risk it.” 

“But...”

“No buts.” I say. “You can’t go outside. Someone will see you...” she frowns and I kiss her forehead. “I’m sorry my lamb.” and I go to get off the bed. She holds onto me and I sigh. “Lamb...”

“Stay...” she says. “Just... until I fall asleep...” she looks up at me and I smile. 

“How can I say no to that?” I ask. She smiles and I lay down beside her. She throws her arm over me and puts her head to my chest. I hold onto her bandaged hand and listen to her breathing. I know she’s going to stay up as long as she can... so I’ll be here longer. Which...

I turn and look at the clock on the wall. It’s only ten... there will be plenty of time to take Suzie’s body to my burial site and come home before first light. I could even take her tomorrow...

I look down and sigh at her open eyes. 

“Sleep lamb.” I say. She closes her eyes and she cuddles closer. I squeeze her hand and she flinches. “Sorry. Forgot.” I loosen my grip and shut my eyes a moment. 

Maybe... I could wait until tomorrow...

\--

I wake up to Rey’s body shaking against mine. I turn over and see her moving in her sleep. She’s whimpering... gasping... her hands are up slightly in a defensive position...

A nightmare...

I put my hands to her shoulder and softly shake her. 

“Lamb.” I say. “Lamb wake up now.” I see tears cascade down her face and her whimpering seems to get louder. “Rey my love, wake up.” I shake her harder and her eyes flash open. “Hi.” I say. She searches my eyes a moment and she begins to cry. “It’s okay...” I put my arm around her and bring her to me. She sobs into my chest and I nuzzle into her hair. “It’s okay. Everything’s okay....” I tell her. “Nothing can hurt you... not while I’m here... I’ll protect you.” she clutches onto my shirt and I kiss the top of her head. “You’re okay now...”

“Ben...” she cries. 

“It’s alright my love.” I soothe her. “Everything’s alright now. I’m right here.”

After a few minutes of crying; her breathing evens out and she falls back asleep. I keep my hold on her until she’s calm as she can be then lay back. I watch her sleeping face and sigh. Nightmares...

Killing Suzie... must have triggered something in her subconscious. Sadly... the nightmares... never go away. 

I’ve been having them since I was ten. And I wish they would have been about the boogey man or the monster in the closet. But my monster... or rather monsters we’re-

No!

I shut my eyes and get my mind away from that. He’s gone... she’s... far away...

I turn over and put my arm over my lamb’s waist. I take a deep breath and think of her... my lamb... my Rey...

She makes it better... she makes everything better...


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly smut!

Chapter Fifteen-

\--

**Rey’s POV**

**\--**

I watch as Ben scrubs the floor with a brush and bleach. I made a mess yesterday... I... she made the carpet all bloody. I said I would help but he just said I did my part and not to worry. But... it’s taking a while. The carpet it much better than it was but you can still see a hint of pink. I look down at my wrapped hand and sigh. It hurts so he gave me some pain killers. They haven’t worked yet sadly. I am glad to feel the pain though. I can feel something. I can only assume I’m still in shock from killing Suzie. The only emotion I’ve shown is sadness. I cried when Ben found me... when he woke me from my nightmare... this morning when I saw the bloody carpet. I didn’t want to kill her... but I did. I wanted her gone... I just wanted her gone...

I shut my eyes a moment then open them again. I watch Ben and smile. He's happy with me... he said so. He is upset that I broke a couple rules but... he’s proud also. I got my hands dirty... for him. I watch as he continues to scrub the carpet and I sigh. 

“I’m sorry...” I say again. He looks up at me and smiles. 

“I told you it’s alright lamb. I’ll get it out.” 

“Okay...” he sighs. 

“If you really want to help... you can go make some lunch. I’m almost done here.”

“Okay Ben.”

“Sandwiches will be fine or you can decide.” I nod my head and get off the couch. I head into the kitchen and begin to fix us lunch. 

\--

There’s still a tint to the carpet when I go back into the living room. I stare at it and I feel Ben’s arms wrap around me. He puts his head on my shoulder and kisses my neck. 

“It’s okay.” he says. “A few more times with bleach and it’ll be fine. And if it isn’t we’ll try baking soda. Until then... you need to relax.”

“I am relaxed.”

“No, you’re not. You’re on edge, and you keep looking at me with those sad eyes.”

“I’m sad...” I say. 

“I know you are. And that’s okay. But, you need to stay calm.” 

“How...?” I ask.

“Just keep reminding yourself about why you did it.” he says. “Tell me why again.” I can hear the smile in his voice... “Tell me...”

“I did it for you.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you.” I admit. “Because... I don’t want anyone else to have you...” he kisses my neck again and sighs. 

“Don’t worry my love.” he says. “I’m yours... all yours...” I smile and put my hands to his. 

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“So... you won’t...”

“I’ll try.” he whispers. “I’ll try my hardest, for you.” 

“Even if you... ache?” I ask. 

“Yes; even if I ache.”

“You’d... do that... for me?”

“I’d do anything for you...” he says. “And... it’s clear now... you’d do anything for me.”

“I would.” I say quickly. I turn around in his arms and look up at him. “I... I did...”

“Yes, you did.” he runs his hand down my face and smiles. “And you did very well. So... let me try. If... if I can’t do it... I’ll tell you. Then we can work something out.” I nod my head. “Sound good?”

“Yeah.” he smiles down at me and kisses my forehead. 

“Good. Now... can we try and relax?” he asks. I nod my head and he leads me onto the couch. He sits right next to me and puts his arm over my shoulder. He pulls me to him and I lay my head on his chest. I smile to myself and shut my eyes.

He said he’s try... for me...

\--

I flip through the channels and wait up for Ben to get home. He left over two hours ago and it’s just getting later. He said he would be home by now...

Soon I find a movie that isn’t porn and leave it on that channel while I wait. It’s not that boring so I keep my mind on it and not on Ben. I didn’t want him to leave but... he had to take Suzie away. I clutch onto the pillow in my arms and put my face to it. 

I want him home...

\--

I wake up to the sound of a door opening. I quickly sit up and turn around. Ben’s back. I get off the couch and go into the kitchen. I throw my arms around him and he stumbles a bit. His arms wrap around me and I hear him sigh. 

“Miss me?” he asks. 

“Yes...” I mutter against his chest. 

“I missed you to.” he gets out of my grip and smiles. “I told you to go to sleep.” he says. 

“I know but, I wanted to wait up for you.” I say. 

“Well thank you. But, it’s time for bed. Go on and I’ll be in after I shower.” 

“Um... can I...?” and I bat my eyes. He smiles. 

“Now that you mention it... I’d love some help.” I smile back and he nods his head in the direction of the bathroom. “Go and get it started. I’ll be right in.” 

“Okay.” and I head to the bathroom. 

Once the water is ready, I undress and get in. I shut the curtain and go under the stream. I smile when I hear his footsteps and soon he joins me. I turn around and he pushes me against the wall. His lips find mine and I smell pine trees and dirt as he gets closer. I sigh and run my hands over his forearms. I smile against his lips and I feel for the bar of soap. I lather it in my hands and begin to wash him. 

He moans as I move my hands down his chest and he leans in closer. I go lower and take his cock in hand. He hisses through his teeth and I begin to pump my hand. His hips jolt a moment and his cock slides through my hand. I tighten my grip and lean up. I capture his lips with mine and I brush the tip of his cock with my thumb. His lips turn upward and I end the kiss. 

“More...” he whispers. I run my other hand down his thigh then scrape his skin with my nails. He pushes his hips to mine and I moan as his erection presses against my stomach. I throw my arms around his neck and he lifts me off the shower floor. I wrap my legs around his waist and he begins to kiss my neck. I smile as he sucks the skin between my neck and shoulder. 

“I love you...” I whisper. 

“I love you too lamb.” and he kisses my neck once more. “I love you too...” I lay my head on his shoulder and sigh as he quickly pushes into me. I gasp as he begins to move and I tangle my fingers in his hair. I lean back against the wall and he adjusts himself before he pushes inside me again. I smile and pull on his hair. He leans closer and kisses me before he moves again. I move my hands to his shoulders and end the kiss. I put my forehead to his and sigh. 

Ben... Ben...

Ben!

I clutch onto his shoulders as I come and he groans as I clench around him. He halts his movements and I moan as I feel him come inside me. I lay my head on his shoulder and he pulls out of me. He gently puts me back on the floor and kisses me. I kiss him back and he smiles. 

“I’m sorry.” he says. 

“For... what?” I ask breathless. 

“No condom... and I...”

“Oh...”

“We need to get you on birth control.” he says. “That was... amazing.” I smile and nod my head. 

“Yes we do.” 

“I’ll text Armitage in the morning. He said he’d keep an eye out.” he moves me under the stream and he sighs. “Now... let’s get clean.” 

\--

I sit at the breakfast table and wait for Ben to be done with my pancakes. He made my favorite, he’s happy. He’s happy with me. 

As he sets a stack of four pancakes in front of me I go to dig in but he stops me. I watch as he goes to the fridge and brings out the whipped cream. I smile as he shakes the can.

“Say when.” and he begins to squirt some on top of my pancakes. 

“When.” and he stops. “Thank you.” he does the same to his plate and sits across from me. He smiles and we dig in. As he eats he texts and when I ask who he’s talking to. He says it’s Armitage. I don’t like him. But... he’s Ben’s friend...

He gives Ben what he needs and I suppose it’s nice Ben has someone to talk to. Everyone needs a friend. 

As I do the dishes he continues to text and as I dry my hands he stops. He puts his phone in the pocket and sighs. 

“I’m going to see Armitage. I won’t be gone long.”

“Okay.” I hear the door beep open and I watch as he goes to leave. “Hurry home.” He turns back and smiles. 

“Will do.” and he kisses the air. I smile and he leaves. I go lay down on the couch and hug myself. I shut my eyes and think... 

I don’t remember being this happy...

But at the same time... I’m... not myself...

I... killed someone. Another woman. Out of jealousy... out of fear. And... I may still be in shock but... I don’t feel anything except for... peace. 

Ben’s mine...

He’s all mine...

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I sit in my car and roll my eyes as Armitage pulls next to me... thirty minutes after our agreed time. He gets into the passenger seat and smiles. 

“Sooo...” he begins. “... how’s it going?”

“Fine. And you?”

“Great. I might get into this whole... keeping thing. You and Snoke seem to be having fun.” I ignore him and put out my hand. “Straight to business then?” he asks. I nod and he sighs. “Fine. You know these things don’t work right away.”

“I know. But I do want to get home.”

“Lamb that horny?” he asks. I feel my eye twitch and he smiles. “That’s a yes.” he opens his bag and hands me a box. “That’s years-worth. It’s all I could get right now. But my guy said he could get his hands on a couple more in a few weeks. I’ll get it for you when he gets the shipment in.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.” 

“So... you and your little lamb don’t want kids?” he asks. “Why not? Imagine a little you running around Ben.”

“She’s not ready to be a mother.”

“So?” I look over and he sighs. “She’s a poster girl for stockholm syndrome man. You could say the world was going to end if you don’t pop one out and she’d believe you.” 

“Don’t talk about her that way.” I warn. 

“Come on. You know it’s true. You’re her life now. You texted me that a month ago remember. That you were quote... ‘excited to say lamb is completely mine now’.” he says. “You’ve got her eating out of the palm of your hand. That’s what you wanted. You wanted this girl so badly you-”

“I know I wanted her.” I interrupt. “And I will always want her. But you... don’t get to talk about her that way.” I say. “She’s not like the rest... I love her. She... she loves me.” I mutter. 

“You know she wouldn’t have even looked at you if you wouldn’t have stolen her.” he says. “Or do you think she’d love you if she was free? Because let me tell you... she wouldn’t. Your little lamb would cry wolf so hard your ears would bleed.” 

“Shut up.” I say. 

“Ben... she loves you because it’s safe. Not because you’re a good guy... or your handsome... or have a savings account. She needs to love you to survive.” I just look at him...

No...

No, she loves me!

Rey loves me! 

“Just live it up while you can man. Because sooner or later... your little lamb is going to snap out of it. And she’s going to hate your guts. Snoke just had to get rid of Rosie. He had her for a year then... all of a sudden she went crazy. Snoke was upset... she was his favorite but I had a turn so it was good for me.” I shake my head. 

“That’s not going to happen with Rey...”

“Sure it’s not.” he opens the door and sighs. “Oh by the way... Snoke says he wants to meet her. He’s still grieving Rosie though... so not right now. But... I would prepare her. He was quite excited to know she’s acclimating well.” and he shuts the door. He gets into his car and drives away. 

No... no he can’t meet her. Armitage knowing her is bad enough but Snoke... he’s the worst. And that’s saying something coming from me... 

\--

I put the box of birth control on the dining table and walk into the living room. 

“Lamb?” I walk in more and see he laying on the couch. Asleep. I smile down at her and sigh. I go around pick her up and take her into the bedroom. Couches are not for sleeping... beds are. I lay her down on top of the sheets and cover her with a blanket from the closet. I exit the bedroom and figure I better get some work done. I sit at my computer an log in. And before a call comes in I see I have a message. It’s from my so called manager. Telling me I’ve been selected to begin training for a new position. It’s for house calls. I’d be fixing computers and security systems in my area. I don’t exactly want to but... the money would be good. And I can trust Rey to be alone now. 

I message back saying I’ll do the training and start working. 

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

…

I dream of Ben. His head is between my legs and I’m writhing underneath him. He told me I was a good lamb... he said I made him happy...

He’s happy with me... so he’s giving me pleasure... 

He opens his eyes and looks up at me while he tongues my clit...

...

I wake up and hear Ben talking. I look around me but don’t see him. When... how did I get into the bedroom. I’m sure I fell asleep on the couch. I lay there a moment and sigh. I hate dreams like that... it makes it hard. It makes it harder to be around him. All I want to do is jump on him...

I get out of bed and walk into the living room. He’s at his desk... he’s working. I smile as he types and just watch him from where I am. But soon enough, I see him take the headset off. He lays his head back and I go over to him. I put my hand on his shoulder and he opens his eyes. He smiles and looks up at me. 

“Hi.” he says. 

“Hi.” I kiss his forehead and sigh. “Um... did you-”

“I moved you into the bedroom, yes.”

“Why?”

“Beds are for sleeping... I... don’t like when people sleep on couches...”

“Oh... okay...” I kiss his forehead again and he smiles. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks. 

“Fine... um...” I run my hand down his chest and he sighs. 

“You want me.” he says. I giggle. 

“Yes please.” I move my hand lower and rub his crotch. He groans and I smile. “Please Ben...” he sighs and nods his head. 

“Okay. Get your pretty little ass in bed.” I kiss his cheek again and go to the bedroom. 

I take a seat on the bed and shut my eyes. I want him... I need him... 

I hear his footsteps and open my eyes. He walks in and puts his hands to my face. He kisses my forehead then my nose then my lips. I kiss him back and put my hands over his. He breaks the kiss then smiles down at me. He gathers my shirt in his hands and lifts it off me. He throws it to the side then goes down to his knees. He puts his hand to my chest and gently pushes. I lay back and watch him as he pulls of my jeans and underwear. He throws them with my shirt and begins to kiss my feet. I giggle and he kisses up my legs, my thighs then up my stomach. 

I sigh as he nuzzle between my breasts and licks up my right one. His tongue goes to my nipple and runs along it before he sucks it into his mouth. I keep my hands to my sides as he does the same to my other breast and then kisses up my neck. 

“Is this all you wanted lamb?” he asks. 

“No.” I say. 

“What did you want?”

“You.”

“How do you want me?” he asks. He licks my ear lobe and I moan as his hand grazes up my thigh. 

“...please.” I plead. 

“No, no. Tell me.” he kisses right under my ear and whispers. “Tell me exactly what you want...” 

“You... I just want you...”

“Details please...” I groan. 

“Please fuck me.” I say breathless. “Hard.”

“Hmm...” he kisses down my neck and I sigh. “That doesn’t give me much to go on...”

“I want you to fuck me from behind!” I say loudly. “I want you to grip my thighs so hard they bruise. Now please Ben.” 

“That’s all I wanted to hear...” I can hear the smile in his voice and he kisses my neck one last time. “On your knees.” I smile and do as he says. I go to crawl more onto the bed but I feel his hands on my hips. “No no. Right here is perfect.” I sigh and stay where I am. My feet are off the bed... he’s going to stand... 

I hear him open the drawer and the ripping of a foil packet. I lick my lips and then I hear him sigh. I shiver as I feel his hand on my ass. 

“Spread your legs.” I move my legs apart and he spreads them a little further. “Ok?” he asks. 

“Yes.” I feel his lips on my ass a moment then he tongue darts along my pussy lips. I shut my eyes and then I feel his fingers run along it as well. I sigh and he gently pushes a finger inside me. He moves it in and out a few times then it leaves. I keep my eyes shut and soon I feel his cock run up and down my pussy. I gasp and he slowly pushes into me. I moan and his hands go to my hips. He waits a moment and when I de-tense he pulls out of me most of the way and pushes back in. My breath catches in my throat and he finds a pace. I feel his fingers dig into my hips and I smile. I hear him groan and one of his hands goes to my lower back. He tries to keep me still but I push my hips back so he fills me even more. 

He moves his hips in a circular motion and I gasp as he pulls out of me. Then almost as quickly pushes back in. His fingers dig into my hip and I wince. Ow... ow... yes please... 

I drop my head down and want to go down my elbows but I don’t. I stay how I am and move my hips to the rhythm he’s set. My body shakes a moment and I try to move one of my hands so I can touch my clit but I can’t keep my balance. I put my hand back on the bed and he stops his movements. 

“No...” I mumble. 

“It’s okay, I’m not stopping.” I feel his hand move up my hip and to right under my breast. He leans across me and he pushes me to him. “Straighten up.” he says. “Almost stand.” 

“Um... I don’t...”

“It’s okay... it’ll feel good...” I slowly do as he said and I gasp. I feel fuller than I did... “Are you okay?” he asks. 

“...yeah.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Uh huh... just... go...” and he slowly begins to move. He puts one arm over me and keeps me pressed up against him while he quickens his pace. I moan again and hear him sigh. He moves one hand to my clit and begins to move his fingers left to right. I let out a breath and he puts his head to my shoulder. 

“Alright?” he asks; slightly out of breath. 

“...y-yes... yes!” he quickens his pace and I put my hands behind me and grab on to his hair. He hisses through his teeth and squeezes my breast. I feel the coil in my stomach tighten and I clench my muscles. He groans and I smile. I clench again and he kisses my neck. 

“Down girl...” he says. “You know you come first.” and his fingers work their magic. I lean my head back slightly and soon enough I’m coming. I let go and he comes right after me. He holds onto me tightly and moans into my ear. I smile and after a moment he pulls out of me. He still holds me to him and he lays us on the bed. He puts his leg over mine and runs his hands over my stomach. He happily hums and put my hand over his. “Better?” he asks. 

“Yes... I’m... much, much better.” he kisses my cheek. 

“Good.” I stay quiet a moment and sigh. 

“How... was it for... you?” I ask. 

“Hm?”

“Um... ya know...”

“Why do you ask?”

“Just... wondering...”

“Lamb... I am just happy to be in the same area code as you. Let alone have sex...” he says. “But, if you must know... it was amazing... every time it’s amazing.” I smile slightly and he kisses the corner of my mouth. “You don’t have to ask my lamb. Don’t even think that I’m  _not_  going to enjoy it. Alright?”

“Okay...” I say. 

“Don’t second guess yourself... you’re perfect.” I smile and lean my head up. I kiss his lips and he kisses me back. He sighs and lays his head on mine. “I love you.”

“I love you too Ben.” I shut my eyes and we lay there in silence. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hatred and love all mixed together!

Chapter Sixteen-

\--

Ben’s POV

\--

_I sit at my desk and re-read the chapter like Mrs. Phasma said to. I didn’t do well on my practice test... and if I fail the real one... dad will be angry. I focus on reading and try to block out the sound of mom crying. Dad’s angry at her tonight... she didn’t clean the house today...._

_So when he got home from work..._

_I flinch at the sound of something crashing to the floor. Then dad yells. Something around the lines of wake up..._

_I turn my head to the noise and wait for it... mom must have passed out... which means..._

_“Come here Ben!” I hear him call out. I shut my eyes and try to keep the tears in. I get off my chair and open my bedroom door. I look out and see mom laying on the carpet. There’s blood coming from her head... and dad’s standing over her with his belt... “Come here Ben.” he says. I don’t want to go... I want to hide under my covers and pretend I’m somewhere else. But... it... it hurts worse if I don’t do as he says. I slowly walk to him and stare at the brown belt. I see a hint of blood on the metal part of it and shiver. “Now... be a good boy... and stand still...”_

_…_

I jolt awake and cover my face with my hands. I take deep breaths and turn over on my side. I lower my hands and when I go to look at lamb... I see she’s gone. 

No!

I fling back the covers and begin to look around. She didn’t leave! She didn’t leave! She wouldn’t! She wouldn’t leave me! 

“Lamb!” I yell. “Lamb!” I look down the hall and see the kitchen light is on. I begin to rush to the kitchen when she comes into view. She’s holding a glass and staring at me with sleepy eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” she asks. I get closer and wrap my arms around her. The glass falls from her hands and it spills water over the carpet. I put my head on hers and breathe. 

She’s here... she’s here... she’s not gone...

“Ben... what’s wrong?” she asks again. 

“N-nothing.” I say. 

“Ben...”

“It’s nothing I just... you were gone... I woke up and...” her arms go around me and she holds me close. I shut my eyes and let myself sink down to my knees. I keep my arms around her but now they’re wrapped around her legs. 

“It’s okay...” she soothes me. “It’s okay now... I’m here...” she pets my head and I nuzzle her thighs. “Ben...” 

“You... you were gone...” I mutter. 

“No... no I wasn’t.”

“Yes you were.”

“I just got up for some water... I didn’t leave you...” She was gone... she can never be gone! I unlink my arms and put my hands to my head. I grip onto my hair and pull. “No.” she says. “No, don’t do that.” her hands go to mine and she pries mine away. Hairs pull from my head and I wince at the pain. She intertwines our fingers and I feel her breath on my face. I feel her lips on mine and I open my eyes. 

I stare into her honey brown eyes and she shakes her head. 

“Please... don’t hurt yourself...” she whispers. “Please... I don’t want you to hurt Ben...” she kisses me once more and she sighs. “Let’s go back to bed. Alright?” She doesn’t want me to hurt myself... she cares...

My lamb cares...

I slowly nod my head and she stands. I get off my knees and she keeps hold of one of my hands while we walk to the bedroom. She pushes me lightly onto the bed and tells me to lay down. I do as she says and she climbs over me. She gets under the covers and gets as close to me as she can. I turn on my side and face her. She puts her hand to my face and smiles. 

”It’s okay.” she says. “I’m here... I’m not going anywhere...” 

“...okay.” I put my arm over her hip and sigh as I feel her body press against mine. I stare at the wall and I hear her sigh. 

“Shut your eyes Ben.” she says. I look down and see her staring up at me. I nod my head again and close my eyes. “Good... now sleep.”

“Okay lamb...” I keep her pressed to me and soon I can feel the panic leaving my body. The nightmare... and waking up to no Rey... 

I shut my eyes tighter and her hand rubs down my face. 

“Just sleep...” I hear. “Just sleep...” I feel her calmness take over the horror and soon sleep claims me. 

\--

One Week Later

\--

I close the oven door and put the ovenmit on the counter. I turn and see lamb with her nose in the newest book. Witches of Eastwick. I’ve never read it and neither has she. She isn’t getting done with it as quickly as the others. So I’m assuming she’s not enjoying it. I take a seat next to her and she peaks up from behind the pages. 

“Do you have to go?” she asks. 

“Yes. I do.”

“...why?”

“Because, it’s my job. I’ll only been gone a couple of hours.”

“I know but...”

“It’s just two hours lamb. You’ll survive.” 

“I don’t want you to leave.” I smile and sigh. Neither do I...

“I’m just going to be training for the position then I’m going to go to the store. I’ll be home as soon as I can.” she just stares at me and I put my hand to her face. “You’ll be fine lamb.” I say. “Now... give me a kiss.” she looks away from me and I sigh. “Kiss.” I say. She shakes her head and I turn her face to me. “Rey. Kiss me good bye.” she puts down the book and leans over. She quickly pecks me on the lips and I roll my eyes. I take control before she can lean back and she moans. I end it before she persuades me to stay with something other than kisses and stand. “I’ll be back soon. Keep and eye on the roast. It should be down around the time I get home though.”’

“Okay Ben.”

“Make sure it doesn’t burn and when I return I’ll add the potatoes and carrots.” she nods her head and I smile down at her. “I wouldn't leave you if I didn’t have to.” she stares up at me and I smile. “I love you.” I tell her. 

“I love you too.” I quickly kiss her forehead and exit through the kitchen door. I get into the car and take a deep breath before I open the garage and drive away. 

\--

As I get a bag of banana chips and throw them into the cart; I get a text. I get my phone from my pocket and see it’s Armitage. Shit...

**-Snoke is officially done grieving.-**

_-That’s nice... and?-_

**-He wants to meet ‘lamb’. You free?-**

_-Not today sorry-_

**-Tomorrow then-**

_-No I’m busy; working-_

**-Come on... he’s going to meet her whether you like it or not-**

_-I’ll text when a good time comes up. Later.-_

I go down the next aisle and ignore my phone as it beeps and beeps. After the list is taken care of I head to the check out. I pay for everything then head out to my car. After I’m about to pull from my spot I hear my phone beep again. I sigh and check the texts. 

**-Don’t be like that man-**

**-He just wants to have a look-**

**-I’m sure lamb would enjoy someone else’s ugly mug for once-**

**-Snoke says we’re on the way... get her ready-**

...no!

I leave the parking lot as quickly as I can and head home. No... no... no! He’s not going to have my lamb! He can’t! He...

Fuck!

A car crash...

I clutch onto the steering wheel and scream. 

“Fuck!” 

I have to get home. I have to get home. I have to get home! 

\--

Twenty minutes later we’re moving again. So I speed as much as I can to get home quicker. I slow down slightly on my street and... my heart stops. Armitage’s car is in my driveway... 

I pull in next to it and see there’s no one inside. I head to the front door and enter the code. I enter and see Armitage sitting at my dining table. Red hair, slightly messy... he’s picking into the roast and when he sees me he smiles. 

“Hey man. Where were you?” I look into the living room and see the back of Snoke’s head. He’s sitting on the couch. I go over to him and see... he has my lamb with her head on his lap. Her eyes are wide open and she’s not moving an inch. She’s just staring at the TV. What in the hell did they do to her?! Snoke looks up at me and sighs. 

“Hi. Nice little whore you have here Ben.” he says. “She has a nice set on her.” 

“Give her to me.” I say. He clicks his tongue. 

“Ben, you know sharing is caring.”

“I don’t give a fuck. Now give her to me.” 

“I haven’t done anything to her yet.” he says. “Well... I did have Armitage dose her with some Ketamine. She was a little distressed, as you can imagine. She’s much more manageable now. I was going to give her GHB but... I thought she might like to remember today.” 

“Snoke I fucking swear...”

“Lighten up.” he says. He puts his hands on her side and I want to break them off. He’s touching her... my lamb... my Rey! He swiftly pushes her off his lap and she lands on the carpet with a thud. I shoot daggers with my eyes and I hear her groan slightly so I go to her. I get down on my knees and turn her over so she’s looking up. Her eyes wander to mine and her lips move. 

“Shh...” I soothe her. “Don’t try... just-”

“She is a good screamer though. So that is a shame.” he says. “All she did for the first few minutes was scream that you we’re going to kill us when you got home. Isn’t that funny. You, kill us.” he laughs. “No neighbors came though, so I suspect no one heard or cared.” I brush some hair from her face and I see her finger move slightly. 

“It’s okay.” I tell her. “I’m here now...” 

“Ben, trust me. Don’t let her rule your life. My Rosie had me by the testicles and look what happened?” he says. “One day she can’t get enough of me and the next she’s climbing the walls.” he walks around the couch and continues to talk. “I didn’t want to kill her but... in the end it was the best option. One swipe of my knife and my wife was no more. Juliet and Danica had a screaming fit while it happened but they’re over it now.” I look into her eyes and sigh. 

“I’m so sorry...” she slowly blinks and kiss her forehead. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to protect you...” I whisper. 

“So... dinner first or would you like to start the fucking now?” I look up at Snoke and feel anger take over my body. This old fucking man...

“Fuck you.” I say. “She’s mine.” 

“Yes, yes we know. But... she is a looker and... I am lonely. Don’t you want to help a friend out?” he asks. 

“No.” 

“But Armitage said you put her on the pill and everything. She’s all drugged up and ready to go.” 

“You. Won’t. Touch. Her.” 

“Oh... but I will.” he says. “And you’re either going to let me... or I’m going to kill her.” he says while staring down at us. “I’ll slice that pretty throat of hers and fuck the slit it makes.”

No!

“And... Armitage and I both know you don’t want that.” I don’t say anything a moment and think. I don’t want anything to happen to her. Enough has happened already...

I should have been here... I should have protected her... 

I run my hand along her face and make a decision... 

“Okay.” I say. Her eyes look around a bit and I hear Snoke laugh and sigh. 

“Very good.” he says. “Now, that roast smells amazing, so let’s eat.” I hear him walk to the kitchen so I lean down and kiss her lips. 

“It’s okay.” I say. “Everything’s going to be okay...”

\--

Rey’s POV

\--

Everything is NOT okay! I want to yell. No. No Ben! No! Please don’t let him... I don’t want him! I wish I hadn’t opened the door but... Armitage said... it was an emergency... that Ben was hurt. So... I let him in... I didn’t see this other man through the window... 

I want to disappear. I want to disintegrate into nothing before he can touch me again. He told Ben he didn’t do anything but... he did. He slid his hand under my shirt and felt my breasts. He played with my nipples then stopped when he heard Ben pull in. 

I stare into Ben’s eyes and want to yell at him. Tell him no. Tell him I’m yours! 

He gets off his knees and I try to move myself. But... my body isn’t doing what I want it to. It feels heavy yet... light at the same time. My legs... my arms... my head... I can’t move at all. And when I try to speak... it’s like my mouth is glued shut. All I can do is whimper... if that! He gathers me in his arms and lays me on the couch. 

“Don’t worry.” he whispers. “I won’t let him hurt you...” and he disappears from my sight. I want to go after him. I want to hide behind him and clutch onto his arm. I want to feel safe. I don’t feel safe! 

I don’t know how much time passes but soon the TV show Snoke was watching switches over to a movie. I watch from the corner of my eye but I don’t know what it is. I look back up at the ceiling and flinch when I hear a scream. I hear something thud onto the floor then something breaking in the kitchen. There are more things breaking... shuffling... chairs toppling over. I hear someone yell out and for a moment... I think it’s Ben. Then afterward there’s some mumbling and another thud. I hear footsteps and fear what I’m going to see. But... what comes into view is Ben. If I could smile I would. I see something red clinging to his glasses and it’s also speckled across his face. Blood...

 I look down him and see his clothes are all bloody as well...

“It’s okay now.” he says. “They’re gone.” and he kneels down. I feel his hand go to my face. “The drugs will wear off in about an hour. You won’t feel better for a while though. It stays in the system...” I can only look at him. “I’m so sorry Rey.” he says. He looks at me a moment and lets out a ragged breath. He licks his lips and all of a sudden... I see something in his eyes. Something... scary. 

He's never looked at me this way before... 

“You... you have no idea how much I want to take advantage of this moment.” he says. “I see my lamb... but... I also see prey.” I can only listen... “You’re all laid out... all I would have to do is cut off your clothes and pull you back on to the floor.” he says. “You’re helpless... simply helpless...” he runs his hand down my face and he sighs. “But, I won’t. I have the ache but... I’m not going to act on it. I’m going to clean up... and get everything ready for dinner. Okay?” he asks. “Okay.” he smiles and kisses my forehead. He gets off his knees and leaves me. 

I don’t want him to leave me like this... 

But... his eyes...

The way he looked at me... that wasn’t Ben. That was... something else entirely... 

\--

When the movie is partially over... I can move again. A little anyway... 

I’m dizzy... and my legs feel like jelly. And my stomach... it feels like the time I had food poisoning. I’m nauseous and my head feels like someone’s hitting it with a hammer. I shut my eyes and try to calm my heart down. It’s like it’s trying to beat out of my chest. I just sit on the couch and listen to the sounds of Ben moving around the kitchen and garage. 

He killed them... and... I’m glad. I don’t... didn’t; like Armitage and Snoke. I try not to cry as I remember the way his hands groped me. How his eyes narrowed as he looked on as Armitage forced the needle into my arm... 

My stomach twitches and... I’m going to be sick...

I lick my lips and take a breath before I try and get off the couch. I put my hand to the arm and lift myself upward. My legs jiggle a little but I keep my balance. I sigh and let go of the couch... bad idea. I fall onto my face and groan. Ow... 

I hear footsteps. 

“Rey?” I feel his hands on me and he lifts me into his arms. “I told you not to walk.”

“G-going... sick...” I mutter. 

“Okay.” and he carries me to the bathroom. He lays me next to the toilet and puts my head on the seat. I move my head over a bit and throw up. Ben rubs my back and keeps my hair out of my face. “It’s okay...” he soothes me. “It’s okay...” I puke until there’s nothing coming out and lay my head down. I feel tears run down my face and he dabs them away with some toilet paper. He wipes my mouth too and flushes the toilet. “Done?” he asks. I nod my head and he takes me in his arms again. He puts me back on the couch and he sighs. “Say my name.” he says. “Say it, as loud as you can.”

“B...Be...n.” I say. 

“Again.”

“Be...n.” I say slightly louder. “S-stay.” I force out. He smiles. 

“I still have work to do.” I look down at his blood-stained hands and back up his chest. “You just stay here and relax.” and he walks away from me. I look at the TV and sigh. I’m not upset he killed them... I’m upset at myself. I let them in... I... couldn’t fight them off... 

\--

“Ben.” I say. My voice it back... it’s been almost two hours since they gave me the drug. “Ben.” I say again. I still don’t trust my legs... 

He comes around from the kitchen and I see him wiping his hands on a towel. 

“Yes lamb?”

“I’m hungry...”

“Okay. It’s almost done now. Five minutes at the most. Do you want to go into the kitchen now?” he asks. 

“Yes.” he throws the towel over his shoulder and walks over to me. He lifts me into his arms and carries me like it’s nothing. He sets me on a dining chair and goes back to the stove. I watch him mess around with a few things then he takes the roast from the oven.

“I just had to warm it.” he says. I’m sorry dinner is late but I had to take care of those fuckers first.”

“I understand.” I say. I watch as he serves me a plate of food and I smile when he sets it in front of me. “Thank you, Ben.” 

“You’re welcome lamb.” and he serves himself a plate. He sits across from me and begins to eat. I watch him a moment before I do the same and smile. 

He wasn’t here to protect me earlier... he was working... but... he did kill for me. Which... is endearing... in a way.  Hopefully it will help the ache though. I like Ben much more when the ache is gone... 

\--

I wake up to the bed moving slightly. I open my eyes and see Ben is climbing into bed. I smile and get as close as I can to him. 

“Hi.” he says. 

“Hi...”

“How are you feeling?” he asks. 

“Fine... just sleepy.”

“I’m sure you are.” he says. 

“Um... are-”

“Yes. They’re gone. For good.”

“....good.” I whisper. 

“I have to leave pretty early tomorrow.” he says. “But, the errand won’t take too much time. I promise.”

“...okay...”

“I know.” he says. “But, there are a couple loose ends I have to take care of.”

“Okay Ben.” I kiss the small patch of skin showing through his shirt and he sighs. “...night.”

“Good night my love.” and I drift back to sleep. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly background for Ben and I am sorry in advance for what I have put him through.   
> Also, more dark Rey!  
> \--  
> I am officially done with writing this story so I will continue the steady updating! There are a total of twenty-six chapters, so we still have a ways to go!   
> \--  
> All three fics will be updated today and I will be posting a new story as well!

Chapter Seventeen-

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I lay in bed next to Rey and watch her sleep. I don’t have to worry about those bastards anymore but... what am I going to do with Snoke’s other girls? They’ll die which isn’t that big of a deal but... starving to death isn’t a nice way to go. And I don’t feel like taking care of them myself. Maybe I’ll call the authorities and leave an anonymous tip. Maybe I could... let them go. Give them some sort of life...

I could kill them I suppose... but... I don’t exactly want to. They’re not supposed to be my responsibility. I sigh and lightly kiss my lamb’s forehead. I have to go...

\--

I get to Snoke’s house and let myself in. I’m glad I remembered to grab his keys before I buried him. I’m not too good at picking locks.

I know he keeps the girls in his attic so I head up and try to open the door. It doesn’t budge and I sigh at the sight. Two locks are keeping me from his girls. I quickly tighten the scarf around my face and grab his keys from my pocket. I open the locks and peak inside. There are his two remaining girls. Juliet and Danica. Both are red headed. They could almost be sisters... 

They huddle into the corner and I put up my hands. 

“I’m not going to hurt you.” I say. “I’m letting you go.” the slightly darker headed girl looks over at me. 

“W-why?” she asks. 

“Just go.” and I walk away. I drop the keys on his living room table and begin to search for anything that might incriminate me. 

I walk out of his house with a bag of things that either have my name on it or say anything about me in general. Even in Snoke’s nickname for me... 

‘Kylo’. What does that even mean? 

I look back and see one of the redheads looking out the window. It’s up to them now. I walk the couple blocks to where I parked my car and get in. I put the notebooks and disk on the passenger side seat and wait a few moments. After I’m sure the coast is clear I head to my next destination... Armitage’s. 

His apartment is much easier to pilfer through. There’s no girl... no evidence of me. All I do is take my cameras and bugs. I leave his keys next to the TV, like he does and get out of there. I get in my car and take a breath. Now... I have no friends. Well, if you could call those men my friends. But... I’d rather have Rey anyway. I’d choose her over anyone or anything...

\--

“Yes ma’am that’s it. Your security system is back up and running.” she asks a few more questions and I take my time to explain exactly what I did to make it work again. “Uh huh, thank you very much ma’am.” and I hang up. I take off my headset and go offline before I get another call. 

I turn around in my chair and smile at the sight of Rey. She’s in the kitchen baking cupcakes. She said she’s not the best cook... but she can bake quite well. So... I bought her some things. She was so excited and she wanted to make something right away. She bobs her head to the music coming from the speakers as she stirs the batter. Then she begins to mouth the words to the chorus. I smile as she gets into the song and I go to her. She smiles up at me and I take the bowl from her. I set it on the counter and take her hands in mine. I begin to sway and she sings. 

“Pushing on I can’t escape... everything that comes my way... is haunting me taking its sweet time...” I smile at her voice and sing with her. 

“Holding on I’m lost in a haze... flighting life to the end of my days...” I twirl her around and bring her closer. I put my hand to her face and gently kiss her lips. She looks me in the eyes and smiles. 

“...I love you.” she whispers.

“I love you too...” she leans up and puts her lips to mine. I stop out movement and she deepens the kiss. Her hands go to my face and she drags her nails across my cheeks. I groan at the feeling and I slip my tongue into her mouth. But, she leans away. I stare at her, breathless and she smiles. 

“I have to finish the cupcakes.” she says. 

“...I’d rather finish you...” I whisper. She smiles and pecks me lips. “Please...”

“After I get them in the oven?” she asks. I nod my head and let go of her. She turns away and grabs the bowl. She begins to pour batter into the pan lined with small papers and when the last one if filled I take the bowl from her and put it in the sink. She puts the pan into the oven and starts the timer. “Okay...” she says. “We have... fifteen minutes.” 

“Is that all?” I ask with a grin. She giggles. I put my hands to her face and pull her to me. We kiss for a moment then she puts her hands to my chest. She pushes me a little and soon I'm sitting in a dining chair. She smiles down at me then drops to her knees. she reaches up and begins to undo my belt. She gets it undone and starts to slide my jeans off me. I take hold of her hands and take a breath. “Um... you don’t...” I begin. 

“I want to...” she says. She’s never done this... I’ve only... ever done it to her...

Once my jeans and boxers are pooled around my ankles she stops. She looks up at me and I smile. 

“It’s okay...” she looks at my cock and I see the hesitance in her eyes. I’m on the larger side... but... I know she can put her mouth around me. “Just take you time.” I watch in awe as she licks her lips and reaches to gather me in her hand. I inhale through my nose and sigh as she begins to pump her hand up and down. I don’t dare shut my eyes... even though it’s hard enough already. I wouldn’t miss a single second of this. Of my lamb. 

She moves her hand at the same pace for a few moments then she leans forward. I gulp and she closes her eyes as she licks the tip of my cock. Tasting the pre-cum already leaking from it. I groan as her tongue slides across me then she takes me in her mouth. She moves her mouth lower and I feel her gag around me. Already. She doesn’t withdraw, she just runs her tongue on the underside of my cock and puts her hand to work as well. We’ll have to work on her gag reflex. She begins to bob her head and I shake my head. I put my hand to her hair and stop her movements. 

“No.” I say. She takes her mouth off me and I see disappointment in her eyes. “You’re doing fine. Just. Slow down.” I tell her. “Use your tongue more...” she puts her tongue out and begins to lick up my cock. I sigh. “Good girl.” I praise. “Just like that... all around. Especially the head.” she does as I instruct and my eyes flutter a moment. “Good girl...” she begins to move up and down the shaft and I put one arm behind my head. I keep the other on her head, gently moving her where I want. I watch her lips dance around my cock and soon... I can’t control myself any longer.

 I put my other hand to her head and lift her face. She looks upward at me and I sigh. 

“Mouth open, wide.” she does as I say and I push my cock into her mouth. She gasps and I feel her cheeks hollow around me. I groan and begin to move my hips. But... the angle isn’t right. I keep my hands on her head and stand. She moves with me and opens her eyes slightly. “That’s right. Look at me lamb.” she opens her eyes more and I begin to fuck her mouth. I keep my hands in her hair, keeping her in place. I feel my cock touch the back of her throat and her gag around me. I almost growl at the vibration it makes and she see her eyes are closed. “No! Look at me!” I say. “Look at me lamb.” her eyes open again and I see tears falling from them. “Fuck...”

I tighten my fingers in her hair and continue until my movements become sharp and uneven.

I come. Hard. And I almost bellow over from the sensation. I keep her head in place and when I’m done; I pull my cock from her mouth. Saliva and cum dribbles onto her chin and I wipe it off with my thumb. She continues to look up at me and I put my thumb into her mouth. 

“Suck.” I command. She complies and when I take my thumb from her mouth it makes a satisfying ‘pop’. “Good girl.” I praise. “Very good girl.” I pull up my boxers and jeans then adjust myself. I turn back to her and see she’s still on her knees. “Up you go.” I say. She gets off her knees and turns to me. I wipe the tears from her face and sigh. “Sorry...”

“It’s fine... I liked it...” and she kisses me. I groan at the taste of myself on her lips and tongue. I press her against the counter and tangle my fingers in her soft hair. I push my groin to hers and gyrate my hips. She moans and I smile against her lips. I lift her onto the counter and she wraps her legs around me. I leave her lips and begin to trail kisses down her throat. She sighs and when I get to the neckline of her shirt, I stop. I quickly take her shirt off her and throw it to the side. I do the same with her bra and begin to kiss down between her breasts. I move my lips to her left nipple and run my tongue over it a few times before I suck it into my mouth. I move my lips and go to do the same with the next but the doorbell rings.

My head snaps up and my heartbeat accelerates. Shit... who could that be? I look up at her and I sigh as I see fear in her eyes. 

“It’s okay.” I say.

“But... what if... what if they take me away?” she asks. 

“What? Why could you think that?” I ask. “Lamb... no one is ever going to take you away from me. You hear me? No one.” she looks me in the eyes and I grab her clothing. I hand them to her and she holds them to her chest. “Go into the bedroom and stay there until I say. Everything is going to be okay.” I quickly kiss her lips and help her off the counter. I watch as she walks to the bedroom and once the door is shut... I go to the front door. I take a deep breath and open it.  

“Hi honey.”

“Mom...” she wraps her arms around me and I hug her back before I hold her at arm's length. She smiles up at me and I force a smile back. “What are you doing here?” I ask. She walks past me into the living room and panic begins to set it. “Why... didn’t you call?”

“Well I’m heading to Seattle and I thought... we might go to lunch. I haven’t seen you in a long time Benny.” 

“I’ve been busy.”

“You’re always busy. You never visit me anymore.”

“I’m sorry mom. Um... yeah we can go to lunch. Let me just finish the cupcakes in the oven.”

“Since when do you bake?” she asks. 

“Um... I don’t often. I just wanted something sweet and didn’t want to go to the store.”

“Ah I see.” she takes a seat at the dining table and smiles up at me. “How are you?” she asks. 

“I’m fine. I'm actually going to be starting a new part of my job soon.”

“Like a promotion?” 

“No. It’s just a little more money and I’ll have to go to people’s homes to fix their electronics.” 

“You’ve always been good at fixing things, even when you were a kid...”

“Yeah... that’s kind of why I do what I do.” I watch the timer on the oven tick down and once it goes off. I grab an ovenmit and take out the pan. I put the pan on a cooling rack and switch off the oven. I turn back to mom and smile. “Okay, lunch?” I ask. She nods her head and stands. I put my hand on her back and lead her to the door. I enter the code on the keypad open the door and she walks out. “I’ll be out in a second. I got batter on this shirt.”

“Okay honey.” and she goes to her car. I shut the door and go to the bedroom. I see Rey sitting on the bed, with tears falling from her eyes. I go down to my knees in front of her and kiss away her tears. 

“It’s okay.” I say. “Everything’s okay. But, I do have to go.”

“W-why?” she asks. 

“Because, if I don’t she’s going to stay here and I know you don’t want to be locked up in here all day.” 

“She?!” 

“No no no.” I say. “Nothing like that... um... it’s my mom. She’s on her way to Seattle... and she just stopped by...” 

“Oh... your... mom...” I nod. “Can... can I meet her?” she asks. 

“No lamb you can’t.”

“Why?”

“Because... you’re... missing.” I explain. “You're not supposed to be here with me.”

“Yes I am!”

“I know to us, yes. But to everyone else...” I wipe a tear from the corner of her eye and sigh. “I’ll be back soon. Don’t touch the cupcakes, just in case she comes back with me. They’re cooling on the counter.”

“...okay.” I stand quickly and throw off my shirt. I put another one on and head out of the bedroom. I hear footsteps behind me and I turn before I open the front door. I smile at my lamb and she smiles back. I leave my house and get into mom’s car. She smiles at me and I sigh. 

“Where to mom?”

“Where can I get a good burger?” she asks. I smile and nod my head. 

“I’ll direct you.” and she pulls out of the driveway.

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

I keep an eye out for Ben and every time I see a car pass by I think it’s him. But... it never pulls into the driveway. I know I’m supposed to stay away from the windows but... I would like to get a glimpse of his mom. I wonder what she looks like. If Ben got his looks from her... if she’s witty or if she’d... like me. I can hope...

An hour later a car pulls into the driveway. The windows are tinted... I can’t see inside. So I leave the window and head back into the bedroom. I take a seat on the bed and wait. Soon I hear the front door beep open and then Ben’s voice. 

“It’s okay lamb.” I hear. “Come on out.” I exit the bedroom and peak out. He smiles and I rush over to him. I wrap my arms around him and put my head to his chest. “It’s okay.” he says. “I made a compromise... she’s not going to visit on her way back but I said I would go to visit her in a few weeks.”

“Oh... okay.” 

“It’s going to be fine.” he says. “No one is going to take you from me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure... I’d kill anyone who’d try.” he pets my head and I sigh. “Why... why would you even think that?” he asks. 

“I... I don’t know but... it just popped in my head. That... whoever was at the door was going to take me away.” I say. “And it scared me...”

“Lamb it’s okay.” he says. “I’d never let anyone take you...” he holds me tighter and I shut my eyes. “You’re safe with me...” I smile against his chest and he sighs. “Now... can you finish the cupcakes please?” he asks. “I’d very much like one.” I nod my head. 

“Yeah.” and I get out of his grip. I smile up at him and he smiles back. “Vanilla frosting?” I ask. 

“Whatever you want lamb.” and I go into the kitchen. 

\--

As we lay in bed that night I can’t help my brain from going round and round. His mom was here... what’s her name... what's his dad’s name... what do they do for a living? There’s so many questions... I turn on my side and sigh. 

“Ben?” 

“Yes?”

“What’s your mom’s name?” I ask. 

“Why?”

“I... I just want to know...” This is my chance to know him better... since she was here... he may open up a bit. 

“Leia.” he says. “Her name’s Leia.”

“And your dad?”

“His name was Han.” 

“...was?”

“He died when I was twenty-one...”

“What happened?”

“Home invasion....”

“I’m so sorry...”

“It’s okay lamb. He was a fucker anyway...”

“Oh... um... why was he a...”

“He beat us.” he answers. My eyes go wide and I gasp. I didn’t think... he would open up this much... and... he didn’t even skip a beat. “He... didn’t always at least. But when I turned... ten... things got bad. He started drinking, a lot.” that could be why he’s like the way he is... but that doesn’t explain everything... “For the littlest things too...” he says. “Dinner wasn’t on the table at six... clothes were still in the hamper. I wasn’t in bed by nine... my toys were too loud. My grades weren’t good enough... mom wasn’t teaching me right.” I stay quiet and let him speak. “That’s why he hired Mrs. Phasma...” 

“Who?”

“Mrs. Phasma... she... tutored me in history. It was my worst subject.” I see his brow furrow... “And... never mind.” and he stops talking. No... I want to know. I want to know everything... 

“Tell me.” I say. “It’s okay...”

“No it’s not.” he says. “It was never okay.”

“What wasn’t okay?” I ask. He stays quiet a few moments then he puts his hand over his eyes. 

“When she... touched... me...” 

What? 

No... no not my Ben... 

“I didn’t notice it at first... just... small... brushes but, then one day mom left to get dinner. And...” he trails off a moment and I see his eyes are closed. “...I didn’t know what to do... I was eleven... I... didn’t understand...” I put my hand to his chest and go to say something but he continues. “Then mom’s depression started... she... didn’t cook or clean... I could clean alright but... she never let me near the stove. She was worried I would hurt myself...” he says. “So... she got take out a lot. She would leave me with her... she trusted her... and one day... she said I was ready...” no... no... I don’t want to hear. I don’t want to hear what she did... “It didn’t feel good... at all... but... I guess I... came anyway. She said... I... did a good job. And she got off me and...”

“Ben... I... I’m so...”

“It happened so often I... got used to it...”

“Did you tell anyone?” I ask. He shakes his head. 

“Who was I supposed to tell? My alcoholic father or my depressed mother?” he asks. I put my head to his shoulder and listen to him talk. “I... I was alone.” he says. “And... I always feel alone... even now...” he uncovers his eyes and sighs.

“No. No you’re not.” I say. “I’m here. I’m here with you.” I put my arm over him and sigh. “You’re not alone anymore...” 

“Rey...”

“It’s okay.” I tell him. “I’m here... I’ll... I’ll protect you.” I say. He looks over at me and I continue. “Everything’s okay. Isn’t that what you tell me?”

“...yes.”

“Well... there you go.” I say. “Everything’s okay.” he turns over on his side and I put my face to his chest. His arm goes over me and brings me closer. “It’s all going to be okay...” I say. “I’m here...” his arm tightens around me and I shut my eyes. “I’m right here...” I try not to cry and hold onto him. It will be okay... as long as we’re together...

I’ll protect him... just like he protects me...

I’ll make sure he’s never alone again...

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

_…_

_“Good boy_ _Ben_ _.” she says._

_She’s on me again... naked... I don’t like it when it happens... but... dad’s happy my history grade is up... he doesn’t hit me as hard when my grades are up..._

_“Good... boy...”_

_I keep my eyes shut and try to imagine anything else... riding my bike... Pokémon cards... Saturday morning cartoons..._

_She takes my hands in hers and puts them to her boobs... they... feel funny... and she squeezes her hands..._

_“That’s it...” she moans. “Just like that...”_

_I shake my head and squirm underneath her... I don’t like it... I don’t like this..._

_“_ _Ben_ _...”_

_Please make it stop..._

_“_ _Ben_ _...”_

_…_

“Ben.” I hear. “Ben!” my eyes flash open and I see lamb. She’s leaning over me; her hands are to my shoulders. “Are you okay? You were dreaming... but...” and she trails off. I see the worry in her eyes, even through the blur. 

“I’m okay.” I say. One hand goes to my cheek and she rubs. 

“What was it about?” she asks. 

“Nothing...” She just looks down at me and I put my hands over hers. “I’m okay.” I say again. She doesn’t look like she believes me... “Lamb I’m okay. I just had a bad dream.” I kiss her palm like she does with me and sit up. I stretch out my arms, put on my glasses and she just sits there at watches. “I promise I'm alright.” and I go to the bathroom. 

I take a seat on the edge of the tub and put my hands to my head. I begin to hit myself and I try not to cry. Why did I tell her? Why did I confess everything to her? I... I’ve never told anyone! So why did I tell lamb?! She didn’t want to hear it! I know that! I hit my head a few more times, and stop when I feel a headache coming on. I keep my hands to my head and let out a raged breath. I know better than to think of it... of her... of everything she did. It always brings back the nightmares... and they’re always worse than the ones of my father... 

They’re more vivid... more... real.

I get off the tub and go to the mirror. Tears are running down my face. I quickly wipe them away and wash my face. I scrub the thoughts away then brush my teeth. Just forget about it. I think. It’s over... he’s gone... she’s... far away... they can’t hurt me... not anymore. 

I walk back to the bedroom and see lamb sitting on the bed. She smiles slightly and I go to her. I take a seat on the bed and she puts her head on my shoulder. I put my arm around her waist and I hear her sigh. 

“How’s pancakes and bacon sound for breakfast?” I ask.

“Fine.” she says. 

“Okay.” and I get off the bed. I head to the kitchen and start cooking. 

After a few minutes I hear her come into the kitchen and before I can speak... I feel her gaze on me. It’s... different... 

“Lamb...?”

“I want to kill again.” she says. I turn to her and listen. “I... I want to kill her. I... need to kill her for you.”

“Rey...”

“No, she should die. She... deserves it.” 

“You’ve dirtied your hands for me once. That’s plenty.”

“No, it’s not.” she says. “I... need to.”

“You’re just angry.” I tell her. “You’re angry about what happened to me, and that... she got away with it. But... it’s normal. You don’t... need to kill.” I say. “You won’t kill again.” 

“But-”

“This isn’t a discussion.” I say. “You won’t.” she turns away from me a moment and I continue to cook once more. After a few pancakes are out of the pan, she speaks again. 

“Then you do it.” she says. 

“What?”

“You do it.” she says again. “You kill her.”

“Lamb...”

“If you won’t let me... let yourself. That’s why you’re like the way you are.” she says. “Because of what happened to you. And also your mother. You.... rape and... torture women because... it’s what you were shown. And... maybe... if you got rid of her... it would help.” I just look at her and she continues. “I... I’m sure you could find her in the phone book or on the internet. You could take her like you do the others and...” I smell something burning. I turn and see the pancake is a goner. I flip it into the garbage and start a new one. “...and... maybe you would... feel better...”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.” I say as I keep an eye on the pancake. 

“Maybe it is; maybe it isn’t but... you can try.”

“So... you’re giving me permission... to rape and murder someone?” I ask. 

“Yes and no.” she says. “I... want you to kill her. But... you’re mine.” she says. “And... I’m sorry but the next woman you fuck... will be dying like Suzie.” I turn the pancake over and look over at her. “You’re mine.” I smile at the words... hers... “You can kill all you want Ben. But... I’ll-” I lean over and capture her lips with mine. I silence her with a kiss and she moans into my mouth. 

I’m hers... I’m hers... 

She’s mine... 

I’m hers...

She wants me to kill... 

I end the kiss and she smiles. 

“Yours...” I say. 

“Mine...” she says back. Her smile grows and I kiss her again. “All mine...” she mutters against my lips. 

“I... like the sound of that...” 

“Good.” and she pecks my lips. “The pancake's burning.” she says. I sniff the air and turn. 

“Fuck.” I flip it into the garbage and look over at her. “Well... let’s... not talk about that right now.” I say. 

“Okay.” I smile and start a new pancake. I keep my eye on this one and I hear a chair being pulled out. I smile to myself and sigh. 

Hers... all hers... 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thinking of the future!

Chapter Eighteen-

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I type away at my computer and listen to the lady tell me what’s happening with her computer. It’s a standard virus, so it won’t be hard to fix. I tell her so and once she gives me access... I begin my work. 

After a half hour the virus is gone and I’m off the site. I have training tomorrow... again. I’m wishing I hadn’t taken the offer but... money talks. I could use it... and I’d like to save some more... maybe buy a bigger house. Lamb would like that. Maybe two stories... a deck... a backyard...

I’m suddenly overwhelmed by the thoughts of Rey and I in a home... maybe somewhere in the mountains... with a couple kids... maybe a dog...

I shake my head and sigh. She’s not ready for that... but... I am...

I would be perfectly fine impregnating her now... giving her a child... my child...

... would I be a good father? Or would I end up like... 

No. I wouldn't hurt it. I wouldn’t hurt our child... 

I could never hurt anything that was a part of her... 

“Ben?” I hear. I turn in my chair and see lamb at the entrance to the hall. 

“Yes lamb?”

“Come to bed.” she says. I smile and get up. I walk to her and kiss her cheek. 

“Anything you want my love.” and I take her back into the bedroom. She lays down and I follow suit. Jeans and all. She tucks herself into my arms and I lay my head above hers. I feel her breath on my neck and shut my eyes. 

A child... a little girl maybe... with lamb’s eyes... 

I smile at the thought and go to sleep. 

\--

I watch the news before Rey wakes up and let out a sigh of relief when they talk about the two missing girls that were found. Juliet Martin and Danica West... safe and sound. Suspect still at large... and they show a picture of Snoke. A mug shot from years ago, there’s less scars on his face. They say his name and where they think he fled to... they don’t suspect foul play. Which makes me smile. They didn’t say I let them go. Smart girls. 

I switch off the news and lock the channel once more before I go into the kitchen. I think cereal if going to be fine this morning. I have to go to training again. Which... lamb isn’t happy about. She’s already pouting. Which I can understand. The last time I left her alone for more than a trip to the store... she got hurt. I pour myself breakfast and eat until I hear the bathroom door shut. I listen for a moment and hear the shower start up. I sigh and continue to eat. Normally I would go in and join her but... she is upset with me...

I eat another bowl before I head to my desk and make sure I have the time right. I have to be there at eight... so I have to leave soon... 

I head to the bathroom door and take a breath before I speak. 

“Lamb... I have to go soon...” 

No reply...

“I didn’t make breakfast but there’s cereal. Or you can make yourself oatmeal...”

No reply...

“Lamb... please speak to me.” I say. “I don’t want to leave while you’re angry...”

And the door opens. She’s wrapped in a white towel and a sigh at the small beads of water dripping from her hair. She squeezes between me and the wall and goes into the bedroom. She leaves the door open and I watch in awe as she drops the towel on the floor. She walks to the dresser, takes out her clothing and begins to dress. She stays facing away from me and I can’t help but stare... she’s doing this on purpose... 

Once she’s clothed, she wraps the towel around her hair and piles it on top of her head. She finally turns to me but walks past me into the living room. She continues into the kitchen and begins to put together her cereal. She takes a seat at the table and begins to eat. 

No words... no eye contact... 

“Lamb.”

No reply...

“Lamb please... you know-”

“I know what?” she finally asks. 

“You know I wouldn’t leave if I didn’t have to.”

“That’s just it Ben. You don’t have to. You want to.” and she takes a bite of cereal. “This... training is not mandatory.”

“It is if I want the job position.”

“Why do you want it? You already have a job.”

“I do, and I’ll probably still do it when I get the other. But... this position is more money.”

“You have enough money...”

“I do... but I want to save up more.”

“For what?” she asks. “For another computer? For a better security system? What?”

“For a better house actually.” I admit. She peeks at me through her lashes and I sigh. “I... want to buy a nicer home for us. In another city maybe... a cabin... someplace you can go outside as you please without worry.” she just looks at me. “Wouldn’t you like that lamb?” I ask. “A place in the mountains far away.” she softly nods her head and I go to her. I put my hands to her face and make her look up at me. “For that... I need more money. Which means... I have to leave sometimes.” I run my thumb along her bottom lip and continue. “First for training then for real work... I don’t know the schedule right now but... I will be gone a few days a week. The hours are a bit long but... in the end I swear it’ll be worth it. Okay?” she doesn’t say anything so I lean down and press my lips to her forehead. “I’ll only be gone a couple hours today. I’ll be home before you know it.” she stands and wraps her arms around me. I hug her back and put my head on hers. “Everything is going to be okay lamb. I promise.”

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

I take a cupcake from the table and bring it into the living room with me. I take my seat on the couch and throw the small blanket over me. I cuddle into a comfortable position and push the play button on the remote. I decided to watch Bridget Jones’ Diary. The movie begins to play and I take a bite of cupcake. It’s one of the last from the week before. A little dry now but still good. I put the wrapper to the side once it’s gone and take a drink of water. I lay my head on the couch and sigh. 

I wish Ben was here... 

I shut my eyes and after a few moments I hear a car pull into the driveway. I stay where I am and listen. I hear the garage door come to life and I smile. He’s home. I quickly get up, throw away the cupcake wrapper and stand in the kitchen. I wait for him to come in and when the door beeps open I throw myself into his arms. He holds onto me and laughs. 

“Hello.” 

“Hi!” He lifts me up and I lay my head on his shoulder. 

“Miss me?” he asks. 

“Always...” I whisper. I kiss his neck and he sighs. 

“I missed you too.” 

“How was training?”

“Fine. It was the last so-called class. And they gave me a work schedule. I start next week.”

“...okay.”

“I know you’re not happy lamb but... it’ll be okay.”

“I know... I’m going to miss you...”

“And I’ll miss you.” I take my head from his shoulder and put my hands to his face. I smile as I run my fingers over his slight stubble and I lean forward. I kiss his lips and he tightens his grip. I end the kiss and he speaks. “I love you.” he whispers against my lips. 

“I love you too.” and I lay my head back onto his shoulder. 

\--

…

I’m alone... I’m always alone...

Ben... he never came back. He left for work and never...

I bring my knees up to my chest and cry. He left me... everyone always leaves...

He’s gone... he’s not coming back... 

I’m alone... he left me all alone...

Please... please come back...

Ben...

…

My eyes open and I put my hands over my face. I’m awake... it was a dream. He's not gone... he’s not gone! I look over and see him sleeping soundly, he’s turned away from me. I smile to myself and get closer to him. I put my forehead to his bare back and breath. He’s here... Ben is here. He wouldn’t leave me. He’d never leave me... 

I feel him move slightly and I halt my movements. He turns over onto his back and I hear him groan. He continues to turn and soon his arm is draped over my waist and his head is laying above mine. I smile and put my hands to his chest. I hear him begin to softly snore again and I trace my finger over his tattoo. 

He wouldn’t leave me... I know that. I know he cares about me... he loves me. 

I shut my eyes and sigh. 

He loves me...

\--

I lay my head on Ben’s shoulder and I run my hand up and down his thigh. He ignores my touch and continues to read. I watch his face and move my hand to the bulge in his pants. He inhales deeply and turns the page. I sigh and steal the book away. He looks at me dumbfounded and I throw it to the side. 

“Excuse you.” he says. 

“Make love to me.” 

“And why should I? Hm?” he asks. 

“Because I asked.”

“No... you didn’t.” he turns to me slightly and smiles. “You commanded me.” 

“Same difference.” I lean over and kiss his neck. “Take me to bed.” he sighs. 

“Lamb...”

“Ben...” I say back. I kiss his neck again then straddle his lap. He stares up at me and I put my hands to his shoulders. I grind myself on him and begin to kiss his neck. He keeps his hands to his sides and... it’s strange. He’s not touching me. I move my hands upward to his head. I tangle my fingers in his hair and kiss up his neck to his chin then lips. He stiffens under my touch and I continue up his large nose and then back down to his lips. 

Then... his hands are on me. I sigh at the feeling but...

The next thing I know I’m laying on the couch. He’s above me... hands on either side of my head. Staring down at me with... something... scary in his eyes. 

“Never, do that; again.” he scolds. I flinch at the tone. 

“... why?” I mutter. He stares down at me he almost snarls. 

“I don’t like it.” 

“Oh... um...”

“I don’t like it lamb.” he says again. 

“Okay Ben.” and he gets off me. I stay where I am and watch as he sits up right. He stares at the TV and I get up. He’s not okay... “Ben?”

“What?” he snaps. 

“I’m sorry... I... I didn’t know.”

“I didn’t tell you...” he says. I go to put my hand on his but he moves it away. He puts it on his lap and I frown. 

“Why?” I ask. He doesn’t answer and just looks at the TV. But... he’s not watching it. “Ben?” he doesn’t reply... “Be-” and he gets off the couch. I flinch back and he walks down the hall. I hear a door slam shut and I just sit there. I don’t understand what I did wrong... he said he didn’t like it but-

Oh...

Her...

Mrs. Phasma... the woman who...

I shake my head at the awful thoughts and shut my eyes. That must be how... she... 

I can’t even think of the word... 

I stay on the couch a few moments then go to the hall. I look down and see the bathroom door is shut. I walk over and put my hand on the door. 

“Ben?” I call. “Ben... um... are you okay?” 

“I-I’m fine lamb.” I hear. “Just... go away.” I frown at his words... no... I don’t want to go away. He never wants me away... 

“Ben...”

“Lamb do as I say!” he yells. Tears pool in my eyes but I stay where I am. 

“No.” I say. “Tell me what’s wrong.” 

The door slowly opens and when he comes into sigh I gasp. There’s blood coming from his nose... his hair is a mess... his glasses are off. He hit himself... why does he do that?! 

“Ben...” I reach up to him but he takes a step back. “Ben... please...” I slip in-between him and the door and point to the tub. “Sit.” I say. He watches me a moment and I sigh. “Sit.” I say again. He walks over to the tub and takes a seat. I grab a wash cloth from the cupboard, wet it and go to him. I lean down slightly and put the cloth towards him. He flinches away and I sigh. “It’s okay...” I say. “I’m not going to hurt you...” and I press the cloth to the blood under his nose. He flinches and I gently pat it away. He sniffs and I press a little harder. I look at his eyes and see he isn’t looking at me. “Please tell me?” I ask as I dab the blood from around his nose. He licks his lips and takes a deep breath. 

“She was... always on top.” he says. “Always.” he still doesn’t meet my eyes and he continues. “More control... I know that now but...” he stops and shakes his head. “...even now... I don’t like it. It... doesn’t feel good.” he says. 

“Okay...” I say. I throw the cloth into the hamper and sigh. “I’m sorry Ben...”

“It’s not your fault.”

“No but... I made you think of that... and you... hurt yourself again...”

“I hit myself because I scared you.” he says. “I... didn’t mean to scare you. I just... wanted you off...”

“I know... and I promise I won’t do that again. I don’t want to scare you either.” and he finally looks up at me. His eyes meet mine and I see my Ben again. He smiles slightly and I reach up. I put my hand to his face and he leans into it. He kisses my palm and shuts his eyes. 

I hate her... that woman... if I can call her that. She hurt my Ben... and she’s still hurting him now...

She needs to be gone... she needs to suffer like Ben suffered. I'd gladly do anything for him to not think of her anymore. Not to hurt. But... it’s his bridge to burn... not mine...

“Let’s go to bed.” I say. He nods his head and he takes my hand in his. I lead him to the bedroom and he shuts the door behind us. I start to change into a pair of pajamas and he does the same. Once we’re under the covers, he curls up next to me and I run my fingers through his hair. Soothing him. “Just sleep...” I whisper. “Just sleep...” I stay awake until his breathing evens out and he’s fast asleep. I continue to pet him and sigh. 

I wish he didn’t hurt...

\--

I close my book and sigh. It wasn’t the best and Ben said I wouldn’t like it... he was right. I put it back on the bookshelf and go to the door. I look out the small window and sigh when I don’t see Ben’s car. I go back to the couch and turn on the TV. I find a movie to watch and wait for him to be back with dinner. He wasn’t up for cooking and since I’m not very good at it... he went out to get pizza. We haven’t had take-out in a while, Ben prefers to cook. Which... I now know why. His mom...

He didn’t have the best childhood... in a way I can relate. He said everything bad started happening when he was ten but... I’m sure he just didn’t know about it until that age. His dad must have been beating his mother for awhile then it just got worse after he began drinking. That’s when he started to hit Ben. 

I sigh and wish he wouldn’t have had such a... traumatizing upbringing. Being brought up in foster homes wasn’t great but... no one ever hit me. Plutt didn’t feed me as much as he should have... but... now I see... it could have been worse. It could have been so much worse...

And I hear the kitchen door beep. I get up and see Ben coming through the door. He sets the boxes on the table and turns to me. 

“Hungry?” he asks. I nod my head and go to him. He gets two plates from the cupboard and puts them at our seats. I open the first box and see breadsticks and sauce. I get one and put it on my plate. Then as I go to open the bigger box, he opens it first. He serves me two slices and the same to himself. 

“Thank you.” he nods his head and takes his seat. I do the same and we eat. 

After we finish dinner, and put the leftovers away he leads me to his desk. He takes a seat and pats his lap. 

“Sit with me.” he says. 

“Are you sure?” I ask. 

“Yeah... I want you here.”

“Okay...” I softly take a seat and he wraps his arm around me. He enters his passcode and the computer comes to life. I see many windows open and he begins to type away. I watch the screens and soon a picture of a women pops up. She’s blonde, bright blue eyes... maybe in her late forties. “Meet Mrs. Christine Phasma.” he says. I stare at the picture and I want to smash the computer. That’s... her. “She still lives in Kent... I have her address... and I’m working on the work schedule. She... still tutors.” he tells me. “This is the photo on her website...” 

“Ben...”

“I’ll do it.” he says. “I’ll... I’ll kill her.” I almost... _almost_  feel bad when a smile spreads across my face.

“Really?”

“Yeah...”

“Good... that’s good.” he looks up at me and sighs. “It is.” I say. “You... you need to do this Ben. I think... it'll help.”

“I think so too. I just... don’t want you to be disappointed.”

“Why would I?” I ask. “I... I’m the one who said you should do it...”

“I know but... you can change your mind.”

“I won’t. I... I want you to do this.”

“Do you?” he asks. “Do you really?” his arm tightens around my waist and he sighs. “I... I said I wouldn’t...”

“I know but... this one is necessary.” he nods his head and he exits out the picture. He begins to type and soon a map pops up. 

“It’s about a thirty-minute drive so I can do my... surveillance on days I’m not working.” he tells me. “I... I’ll be gone more often if I do this.” he says. “But... if I’m going to do this... I’m going to do it right.”

“How long?” I ask. 

“A week or two, maybe three.” he says. “She has a husband... and a steady job... that takes more time. I normally take women who don’t have a significant other... it’s easier. And her job... she’s around kids... they’re vigilant. Which you wouldn’t expect. I’ll... have to time it perfectly.” 

“Well... you got me.” I say. He looks up and smiles. 

“I did. But... I spent over a year with you lamb.”

“I didn’t think I was that... difficult.”

“You weren’t.” he says. “But... I liked watching you...”

“So...”

“I just liked it.” he says. “I wanted you like crazy but... being with you in that way was...” he smiles. “... something else.” he sighs. “I could have taken you anytime I wanted but I waited.” I smile, lean down and kiss his cheek. “I waited so long lamb...”

“I know... but I’m here now. That’s what matters.” 

“Yes it is.” he turns his head and kisses my lips. I put my hand to his face and bring him closer. I deepen the kiss but he ends it. “Thank you.”

“For?”

“Everything. Staying here with me... telling me to heal my own wounds... loving me...” I smile. “Especially for loving me.” I kiss his lips then run my nose along his. He sighs and I run my hand along his cheek. “If you’re good while I’m working...” he begins. “... I'll let you help.”

“With?” I ask. 

“Killing her.”

“But you said-”

“I know but... I feel your anger... and it’ll be better for you to let it out.” he says. “Or else... you end up like me.” I frown. “I’d prefer if you never got blood on your hands but... since they’re dirty already... what’s a little more?”

“A little more.” I say. He gives me a half smile. 

“A little more.” he repeats as he lays his head on me. I smile down at him. 

She’ll get what she deserves... and... I get to help...

I shouldn’t be happy but... I am. I don’t understand what’s happened to me. I... could have never thought of hurting another person before this. Before him. But... I’m so full of jealousy and anger... it’s where my mind goes. This isn’t who I am... I know that but... it’s who I’m becoming... for him... for Ben... my Ben... 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday!  
> This, ULAK and Meta will be updated today... TTB... will not. Check my tumblr more more info on that...

Chapter Nineteen-

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

**_Monday October 2_ ** **_ nd _ ** **_2017 – DAY 267_ **

**_It’s lamb’s birthday... she’s turning twenty-four. I overheard that_ ** **_Rose_ ** **_and her other friends are taking her to Seattle on a night out. She took tomorrow off for the occasion. That way she won’t worry about going into work with a hangover._ **

**_I’m going to follow her... make sure she’s okay. They’re going to a club downtown, there’s only a few cameras so... it’ll be safe._ **

\--

Tomorrow is Lamb’s birthday... she’ll be twenty-five. I need to make sure her day goes well. It’s the first of our celebrations together, so I want it to be special. I know I’ll make her, her favorite pancakes for breakfast. For lunch... we’ll probably have a snack. And for dinner... chicken alfredo. After work I need to go to the store. I don’t have everything I’ll need. I also need to get her a present... but what? We have plenty of books... enough movies... I don’t dare get her anything electronic. She’s a good lamb but... I still can’t trust her with internet or phone access. There’s too much risk. She might gain some clarity and want to alert the authorities. And... I can’t... won’t, live without her. 

I type away at the man’s computer and assure him I’ll be done soon. He thanks me and when I’m finished; I have him sign the tablet, confirming I did my job and he pays by card. I smile as I leave and get into my car. I send in my report and drive to the grocery store. That was my last appointment for today so after I get the groceries we need, I get to go home to Rey. 

\--

I go down a few aisles and think of what to give lamb. I’ve already got the things I’ll need tomorrow, ingredients for our meals... a small ‘happy birthday’ banner and a pack of balloons. Ice cream and a pre-made chocolate birthday cake. I also got a bouquet of flowers for her. Purple carnations and daises. I’ll have to hide most of it but... I’m sure she’ll be happy. 

I walk around a while and soon I think of something she’d like. 

She likes to bake... and I don’t have a lot of baking supplies. So... there we go. I go to the kitchenware aisle and find a few things she could use. An electric mixer, it’s... pricy but I know she’ll use it. They have a few colors but I decide on a white one. I put it into the cart and look around... I got her a cupcake tray... so I should get a couple of cake tins.  Icing tips... and a couple special spatulas. Sprinkles and food coloring... that should be enough. 

I grab some wrapping paper and a bow then head to the cashier. 

\--

Before I bring in the bags I head into the house. I need to get lamb into the bedroom so I can wrap and hide them. As I get into the house, I’m greeted as always, with a kiss. I smile and I wrap my arms around her. 

“Hello.” I say.

“Hi. How was your day?” she asks. 

“Just fine. Lonely without you.” 

“I missed you too.” I can hear the smile in her voice. “So, what’s for dinner?” 

“Steak and veggies.”

“Yum.” I smile and sigh. 

“But, before that... I need you to go to the bedroom and stay there until I say.” her eyes widen.

“Why?”

“It’s nothing bad.” I promise. “I just... have a surprise but I’m not ready to give it to you yet.”

“A surprise?”

“Uh huh.”

“What is it?”

“If I told you... it wouldn’t be a surprise. Now would it?”

“No.” she says with a smile. 

“Go and I’ll call you out when I’m ready.”

“Okay Ben.” and she walks away from me. Once I hear the door close, I head to the car and get everything inside. I put the groceries away and I begin to wrap her presents. I put the bow on the biggest one then take them into the spare bedroom. I put them under a sheet just in case then take the bag with the decorations into the room as well. I put the cake into a cupboard and put some boxes in front of it. I look around me and sigh. I hope... she’ll have a good birthday. 

I go to the bedroom door and open it. I see her laying on the bed, reading a book. I smile. 

“Come on.” she smiles back and gets off the bed. She follows me into the kitchen I and take out the ingredients we need for dinner. I hand her the vegetables and a knife. “You can prep, I’ll cook the meat.”

“Okay.” and she sits at the table.

\--

Before lamb wakes up, I slip out of bed and replace my absence with a pillow. She clutches onto it and I get everything from the other room. I put her presents on the dining table and stat blowing up balloons. I tack a few to the walls and put the happy birthday banner over the entrance to the kitchen. I put a couple balloons on the ends of the banner and smile. I can hope this is alright. I can’t do much for her but... I hope she’ll be happy. 

I check the time before I start to make breakfast. She normally wakes up around seven, so I should be able to have our meal done before she wakes up. I put the bacon in oven and start on the pancake batter. I add more chocolate chips than normal and start cooking them. After all the batter is made into pancakes, I set a plate full off them on the table. I check on the bacon, flip it over and begin to cut up strawberries. I put them into a bowl and get the can of whipped cream from the fridge. I get two plates from the cupboard and make her plate. I put a stack of pancakes, then strawberries and whipped cream. I put a few strips of bacon on the side then pour her a glass of orange juice. 

I make sure everything looks alright then head to the bedroom. She’s still holding the pillow to her chest. I smile and kneel down next to the bed. I watch her sleep for a moment then put my hand to her face. 

“Time to wake up Rey.” I say. “Come on my love wake up.” she stirs but doesn’t fully wake. “Come on now.” her face scrunches up in discomfort and she groans. I smile. “Wakey wakey.” one of her eyes open and I sigh. “Morning.” I say. She groans again and I run my hand over her cheek. “Come on, time to get up.”

“Why...?” she mutters. 

“Because, I have your surprise ready.” her eyes open more and I smile. “You do want your surprise right?”

“Uh... huh.”

“Then get up.” I stand and she rolls over onto her back. She stares up at me and I sigh. “I’m waiting.”

“...kay.” and she begins to stretch. Soon she gets out of bed and stretches her arms above her. She gives me a sleepy smile and I take her hand in mine. 

“Close your eyes.”

“Ben...”

“Humor me.” she sighs and does as I ask. I lead her down the hall, through the living room and to right in front of the kitchen. I stop and lift her head upwards I bit. She smiles and I kiss her cheek. “Open.” she opens her eyes and stares at the sight. “Happy birthday.” 

“Ben...” her eyes tear up a little and her smile grows. 

“It’s not much but...” and she gets me in a hug. I hold her to me and sigh. 

“Thank you.” she whispers. 

“You’re welcome.” she lets me go and sighs. 

“It’s... my birthday...”

“Uh huh.”

“So...” she mutters.

“So what?” she stays quiet a moment and I see sadness in her eyes. “Lamb?”

“How long have I been here?” she asks. 

“Lamb...”

“Ben tell me.” I hesitate then speak. 

“Six months.” she looks up at me and I see tears in her eyes. And not happy ones from a few moments ago. “Rey...”

“That’s... a long time...”

“Yes.” she stays quiet and I squeeze her hand. “Should I have not done anything?” I ask. 

“No... I’m happy you did something for me. It's just... this is the first time... in a long time that... I’ve thought of...” and she stops. She shuts her eyes and I wrap my arms around her. Shit...

No... what have I done?

She cries into my chest and I shut my eyes. 

Fuck! I shouldn’t have done this. She wouldn’t be sad if I didn’t. But... I wanted to do something for her birthday... I... wanted her to be happy...

After she’s done, she pulls away from me but I keep a hold of her. She looks up at me and smiles. 

“It’s okay.” she says. “I just... got sad.”

“Lamb...”

“Ben it’s fine. I just... it’s nothing. You made me pancakes?” she asks with a smile. 

“Don’t change the subject.” I say. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Ben...”

“Tell me.” she sniffles then sighs. 

“It just hit me that... I haven’t seen my friends in six months... I-I haven’t worked or... gone out to eat...” she daps her eyes and continues. “I... I’ve just been with you.”

“La-”

“And... I’m happy. I’m happy I’m with you but... I miss them. I really miss them...” she wipes away some tears and I can feel myself breaking down. I made her sad... she’s hurting... because of me... “I haven’t thought of them in so long I just... I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry...”

“But-”

“You have the right to feel whatever you’re feeling lamb. I just wish... I wouldn’t have done this...”

“No, I’m happy you did. I love birthdays... I’m just a little sad now. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay.” I say a little louder. She stops crying and hesitates before she reaches up and takes my face in her hands. 

“No.” she says. “Don’t you start that again.” she holds me tight and sighs. “This is not your fault.” she says. “You’re just trying to make me happy, you didn’t mean to make me cry.” she knows... she knows what I'm thinking... “It’s okay. I’m fine now. So... don’t. Don’t hurt yourself please. For me.”

“For you...”

“Please Ben. I promise I’m okay.” she pulls me down to her and lightly kisses my lips. She smiles and looks behind me. “So... pancakes?” I smile and nod my head. 

“Your favorite.” she kisses me once more and then kisses the end of my nose. She lets go of my face and takes my hand in hers. 

“Let’s eat then.”

“Okay...” and I follow her into the kitchen. 

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

I dig into my plate of chicken alfredo and smile as Ben sits down next to me. He squeezes my thigh a moment then begins to eat. It's been a great day, my favorite breakfast... presents... just me and him... my Ben. This morning didn’t go over so well, I’ll admit that. I didn’t mean to cry. Everything just hit me in the wrong way I suppose. 

Six months... I’ve been with Ben six months...

That’s... a long time to be in one place... 

I’m sad but... I’m also happy. It's hard to understand. I... I’m sad about my life... I don’t exactly have one now, at least the kind I was used to. Now my life is with Ben. Only him. That’s... what makes me happy. I love him. I love being with him but... I do wish...

“Lamb?” I look up from my plate and see him looking at me. 

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?” I smile. 

“Yeah, just thinking of my cake.” I say. He sighs. 

“After dinner.” he says. I start eating again and keep my mind on today... on him... on us. 

\--

Ben turns off the lights and I smile as the candle lights up the table. He sighs and speaks. 

“Forgive my singing voice.” he says. And he sings... “Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Rey. Happy birthday to you.” and I blow out the candle. The room goes dark and he turns the lights back on. I smile and take the candle from the cake. I set it to the side and grab the knife. I cut two pieces of the chocolate cake and put them on plates. Ben serves us some ice cream and before I can take a bite, he takes my face in his hand. He turns me to him and smiles. “I love you.” he says. 

“I love you too Ben.” he leans in and we kiss. He slips his tongue into my mouth and I moan. I have wanted him all day but... he’s kept me waiting. Even though it’s my birthday. We’ve kissed... made out actually. I tried to get him to take me to bed but... he was adamant on waiting until tonight. Delayed gratification... 

He smiles against my lips and I giggle. 

“Happy birthday my love.”

“Thank you.” and he lets me go. He cuts into the cake with his fork and looks over at me. 

“Well, you get first bite.” I smile and take a bite. It’s delicious. I take another and he puts the fork into his mouth. He nods his head and smiles over at me. I smile back and he quickly kisses my temple. I take another bite and soon our plates are empty. 

I help him wash the dishes and put them away. I also wash my new baking items and put them on the counter. I run my hand over the mixer and smile. I never had a stand mixer. Only a hand held one. So, I’m definitely going to use it a lot. We have to eat the cake he bought me first but after that... I’ll make cookies and cake... maybe a pie. I smile at the thought and I feel his arms snake around me. I put my hands to his and he lays his head on my shoulder. 

“Bed time?” I ask. 

“Hmm...” he teases. 

“Please Ben...”

“Well alright. I suppose.” I turn around in his arms and wrap my arms around his neck. He lifts me up and I put my legs around him. I begin to kiss him and I feel us moving. 

He lays me on the bed then takes off his shirt. I smile and he reaches to my own. He begins to unbutton it and then after it’s off, he takes off my bra. I think he’s going to start kissing but he doesn’t. He takes off my shorts, socks and panties then throws them to the side. I keep my hands to my sides and squeeze my thighs together as he takes off his pants and boxers. I bite my lip and he climbs onto the bed. He smiles down at me and takes my legs in his hands. 

“I’m going to worship you.” he says. He goes down to his knees and pulls me to the edge of the bed. I giggle and he kisses my lips. I moan and his runs his tongue along my slit. I jolt at the feeling and I close my eyes. 

\--

I wake up the sound of Ben going through the drawers. I open my eyes and see him changing. I sigh and wish he didn’t have to leave... I know he needs to. I watch him a moment and smile. I love him...

I watch him straighten his t-shirt and when he turns around, he smiles down at me. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.” he says. 

“Its okay...” he sits on the bed and I sit up. I lean over, kiss him and he sighs. “What’s wrong?” I ask. 

“Nothing. Just thinking.”

“Of?”

“If this is a good idea.”

“You don’t have to.” I say. “You can just-”

“No... I need to.” he says. “I’m just... I don’t know.” he lays down and I lay down with him. I put my head on his shoulder and kiss his neck. 

“It’ll be okay.” I say. “Just... do it how you normally do.” he smiles. 

“You’re right.”

“Of course I am, now... go make me breakfast.” he laughs. 

“What do you want?” he asks. 

“Hmm... hash sounds good.”

“Hash it is then.” he leans over, kisses my temple and gets off the bed. I watch him walk out of the bedroom and smile. 

Today’s day one...

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I watch her exit the building out of the corner of my eye. I’m still in my car. Parked a block away from her building. She walks from the coffee shop and back to her place of work. She doesn’t tutor in home anymore... just there. Which, sort of makes me happy. Maybe... she doesn’t...

I shake my head and ignore the thought. It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t... hurt others anymore. If. Evil doesn’t change... it has to die...

I watch her walk down the sidewalk and when she’s out of sight, I jot a couple things into the notebook. Where she gets coffee... what time... how long it takes to get back to her work place. I’m not ready to get out yet... it’s too risky at the moment. But... after a couple of times... I’ll be ready to follow her. I wish I had more time to do this correctly but, my job. It would be better if I could do this more times a week but... I had to take the position. Maybe Rey was right... I already had a job... I didn’t need to take it. I was fine financially but... I got carried away by the thoughts of a nice future for us. Which in turn makes it harder for me to get this work done right. 

\--

I pull into the garage and get out of the car. I go to enter the code but the door beeps open. My heart skips a beat then Rey comes into view. She smiles up at me and wraps her arms around me. I hold her to me and sigh. 

“Hi, welcome home.” she says. I smile. 

“Thank you lamb.” she kisses my cheek and then my lips. “Why did you-”

“I saw you pull in so...”

“It’s not safe. Someone could have saw you.” I say. 

“But, the door shuts when you pull in so... no one saw.”

“That’s not the point.” she frowns and lets me go. “Don’t do that again.”

“...okay.” 

“I’m not mad... just... don’t.” she nods her head and she walks into the kitchen. I follow behind her and shut the door. It beeps shut and I sigh. She turns around and gives me a slight smile. 

“So... how’d recon go?” she asks. I laugh. 

“Recon?”

“That’s what it is.” she says. “What do you call it?”

“Just stalking.” she rolls her eyes. 

“Whatever. Well, how’d it go?”

“Fine, nothing to report. I just watched from my car. That's how it’ll be the first few times, then I’ll follow her more closely.” she nods her head. “It gets easier when you know part of their routine first. That way you know what to expect. It’ll take a couple weeks, maybe a month.”

“Okay.”

“Anxious?” I ask. She shakes her head. 

“No... I just... want you to be better that’s all.” I go to her and kiss her forehead. 

“I know you do. And... I’m hoping it works. Just as much as you are.” 

“...what if it doesn’t help?” she asks. 

“Well... we’ll get to that problem if it comes up. But, right now... the only problem I see is that you’re still clothed.” she smiles up at me and wiggles her hips. 

“Well then you better fix that.” I gather her in my arms and throw her over my shoulder. “Ben!” she yells. I spin her around a moment then head to the bedroom. 

\--

_“Ben, hurry and eat before the tutor gets here.” mom says while she hurries around the living room. I take another bite of my sandwich and chew. I don’t want a tutor... why can’t mom teach me like always?_

_I put my plate in the sink and go into the living room. Mom is cleaning, making sure the house is presentable. The house is always clean... I don’t know why she’s worrying. Dad hasn’t... been mean in long time. He’s getting better. I know it._

_All of a sudden, the door-bell rings. Mom straightens her shirt then turns to me._

_“Be good Ben.” she says as she ruffles my hair. I smile._

_“Yes mama.” and she goes to the door. She opens it and there stands a lady. Her blonde hair is pulled into a ponytail, like moms. She’s wearing a black skirt and a blue top. A frilly one like mom wears for special occasions._

_“Hi. I’m Christine Phasma. I’m here for...” she looks a paper in her hand. “...Ben.”_

_“Yes, that’s him over there.” mom points to me and I take a step back. The lady smiles and mom lets her in. She walks over to me and sighs._

_“Hello Ben.”_

_“...hi.”_

_“I’m here to help with your history lessons. Why don’t we get started?” I nod my head and she smiles again. “Isn’t he a cutie.” she says to mom._

_“Yes, I think so. You can work at the dining table.”_

_“Thanks.” and she heads into the kitchen. I watch her a moment and mom pushes me towards her._

_“Go on honey.”_

_“Okay mama.” I go sit at the table and Mrs. Phasma hands me a few papers. She smiles over at me and gets a pencil out from a light-yellow case. She hands it to me and we start working._

\--

I lay in bed with lamb and try to push the memories back. But, seeing her... is bringing them back. More so than normal. And... I’m afraid it’ll only get worse the longer I stalk her. I hold Rey to me and breathe in the scent of her shampoo. She says it’ll be okay... and I have to trust her. I want everything to be okay... I want it to be fine and dandy but... there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to go down this road. I want to forget... I only want to forget...

I shut my eyes and listen to lamb’s heart beat. The sound calms me and soon... I’m drifting back to sleep. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't update yesterday! Thanksgiving is a super busy holiday for my family and I had no time! But, here you go! <3  
> Prepare for justice and smut!

Chapter Twenty - 

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

Three Weeks Later

\--

I flip through the channels and listen for the oven timer. Since Ben is out... working, tonight I decided to make him dinner. It’ll be a surprise. Hopefully a good one. I told him I wanted lasagna so he got the ingredients the last time he bought groceries. Lasagna is one of the only things I can cook well. So... I hope he’ll enjoy it. 

As the timer goes off, I head back into the kitchen and smile as I open the oven door. It smells like... home. I push the thought back and take it from the oven. Ben said he would be back by seven and that’s... very soon. I put the pan on a cloth on the dining table and grab the french bread. I cut four pieces for us and butter them before I stick them into the oven to brown. I keep an eye on it so it doesn’t burn but also keep an eye out the window.

I want Ben home... I’ve missed him these past three weeks. Between work and... her, he hasn’t been home much. And, I’ve been lonely. I know his work is important... I know he needs to do it. But, that doesn’t make the loneliness go away. I don’t like being alone...

I take the bread from the oven and turn it off. I put the bread on our plates and sit down. Dinner is ready and waiting for him.

In ten or so minutes I hear the garage door open. I smile at the sound and push some hair behind my ear. I take a deep breath and wait for him to come in. Soon the kitchen door opens and he walks in. He smiles and I put my arms up. He walks into my embrace and I lean up to kiss him. As he ends the kiss he sniffs the air. 

“Did... you cook?” he asks. I nod my head. 

“Uh huh... lasagna.” he looks over at the table and smiles. 

“It smells great.” 

“I hope it tastes great too. I... worked really hard.” 

“I’m sure you did. So, let’s not have your work go to waste.” I let go of him and he sits in his chair. He cuts two slices and serves us. I wait for him to take the first bite and when he does... I smile. He closes his eyes and makes a ‘yum’ noise. “That’s great lamb.” he takes another bite and nods his head. “Yeah... that's good.” 

“Thank you...” I take a bite and lick my lips. It is good... 

“You’ve been holding out on me lamb.” he says. 

“No I haven’t... this is one of the only things I can cook correctly.”

“Okay... what else?” he asks. 

“Um...” I laugh. “This... I can fry chicken... sometimes...” I trail off. “I’m a shit cook Ben.” he eyes me. 

“Don’t, talk about yourself that way. It’s just not your thing.” I smile. “You’re an amazing baker. And this... is delicious.” he says. 

“Thanks...”

“When are you going to bake me cookies?” he asks. 

“Tomorrow if you want. I think I have everything for a couple kinds. You practically brought the entire store to me.” he smiles. 

“Baking makes you happy.” he says. “So...”

“It does. What kind of cookies do you want?” I ask. 

“Chocolate chip.”

“That’s boring.” I say. He swallows his bite of bread and shrugs his shoulders. 

“Classic. I think you mean classic.”

“Sure... we’ll go with that.” and we finish our dinner. 

\--

After we’re settled on the couch, covered with a blanket; he shows me the notebook. I read through what happened today and at the end of the last page... it says...

**_I will take her on Friday after work. Her husband is gone for the weekend so it’ll be an easy grab._ **

I look over at Ben and see he’s watching me. 

“Friday?” I ask. 

“Yes. I’ll have to hurry at my job and head over right after but... it’ll be worth it.” he says. I nod my head. “Too soon you think?” 

“No... it’s just... close.”

“I know. A little sooner than I thought but... it’s the best time.” I nod my head. 

“Okay.” I hand him the notebook and he sets it to the side. 

“Are you going to be okay?” he asks. 

“Yeah. I will.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes Ben. I’ll be fine.” I say. “Will you?” I ask. 

“I think so.”

“You know you don’t have to...”

“No... but... I want to. We have to do this.” he says. 

“Okay then. Friday.”

“Friday.” and he kisses my temple. He lays his head on top of mine and sighs. “You will make cookies tomorrow though right?” I laugh. 

“Yes. I’ll make you cookies.”

“Good.” he grips my hand tightly and I close my eyes. Two days... and we’ll have another guest.

\--

I twiddle my thumbs and wait for Ben to get back. He’s been gone all day at work... then afterward he went to take her. I know he won’t be home for at least an hour but... I’m nervous. For him... for me... strangely for her. This is her last day of freedom... I... I remember my last day...

I was out with Rose. We went to party... and... Ben...

I smile. I thought he was handsome and kind when I met him... little did I know what he had in mind. Who he was... what he had done. Ben... 

I smile. 

It was scary at first... terrifying but... I know now... this is where I'm meant to be. With him... with my Ben. 

\--

I watch as Ben carries her through the kitchen door and into the living room.

“Get the door please lamb.” he says. I nod my head and fling open the bookshelf. I enter the code into the keypad and it beeps open. I open it and I go down the stairs. He follows behind me and I switch the light on for him. He lays her on my old bed and I look down at her. 

“How long?” I ask.

“About an hour and she’ll wake.”

“Then what?” 

“Whatever we decide.” he says with a smile. I smile back and nod my head. “You okay?”

“Yeah, you?”

“I’m fine. I feel better than I have been.”

“Good. That’s good.” I look down at her and sigh. “Can I help still?” I ask. 

“Yes you can. But... I get some alone time first. If you don’t mind.”

“No of course. She’s... yours.”

“No... she’s ours.” he kisses my temple and I smile. “Let’s go upstairs. We have some time.”

“Okay Ben.” and we head up the stairs. 

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I watch the computer screen and smile at the sight of her banging on the walls. No one can hear you... no one will find you... 

Rey pets my head and sighs. 

“Are you going down?” she asks. 

“Yes.”

“Can I watch?”

“You may.” and I lift her off my lap. I set her on my computer chair and kiss her forehead. “I’m... only going to keep her the weekend and I’ll get rid of her Sunday night. I’ll be tired on Monday but... it’ll be okay.” 

“Okay.”

“You can help tomorrow. Tonight... she’s mine.”

“Sounds good.” I smile. 

“If it gets too much... switch it off and watch TV.” she nods her head. 

“Okay Ben.” I kiss her forehead once more and take a deep breath. “Have fun.” I laugh. 

“I’ll try my love.” and I walk to the metal door. I enter the code and walk down the stairs.

_…_

_“Okay honey, I’ll be back with dinner soon. Pizza or fried chicken?” mom asks. I don’t want either... I don’t want her to leave..._

_“I don’t know...” I peek over at Mrs. Phasma and see her looking at me. I know what she’ll do when mom leaves... like every other time... “Can... can we have dinner here?” I ask._

_“Well of course; I have to bring it home.”_

_“No, I mean-”_

_“Come on Ben. We have to finish the practice quiz.” Mrs. Phasma says. Mom pats my head._

_“I’ll be back soon._ _Christine_ _do you want anything?”_

_“Oh, no thank you Leia. Thank you though.” mom smiles at her._

_“Okay. I’ll be back soon.” I hold on to her shirt for a moment and let her go. She walks through the living room door and I hear the car start up._

_“Ben...” I shiver at the sound of her voice. “Come over here...” I turn and see her already unbuttoning her shirt. “Come on sweet boy, come make mama feel good.”_

_“...no.” I say._

_“No?” she asks._

_“No.” I say louder. She gets up from the kitchen table and walks over to me. I back up into the wall and she takes my face in her hand. She lifts so I’m looking at her and she glares down at me._

_“That wasn’t a request.” she says. “If you want good grades you have to earn them. And God knows you’re not smart enough to do it on your own.” she lets go of my face and I shut my eyes. “Just be a good boy and do as you’re told.”_

_…_

I look her dead in the eyes and she wipes the tears from her face. 

“W-who...” she begins. I walk down the last couple stairs and smile. 

“Hi Mrs. Phasma.” I say. “It’s nice to see you again.” she eyes my face and sighs. 

“B...Ben?” she asks. “Ben, what in the world is going on?” 

“You’ll understand soon.” I say. “But, for now... all you need to know is that you’re not leaving this room alive.” her eyes widen. 

“Ben this isn’t funny.” she says. “Now let me go!”

“No I don’t think I will.” I walk towards her and she backs away. I smile. “Now... you baking away from me, that's funny. Remember when I used to back away from you? Do you remember when you used to force me down and get on top of me?” I ask. 

“Ben... please...”

“Please what?” I ask. “Please let you go? Please don’t hurt you? I’m sorry Christine but that’s not going to happen.” I pin her against the wall and stare down at her. 

“B-Ben... please don’t. I-I-I'm not... like that anymore... I’ve changed.”

“I highly doubt that.” I take her throat in my hand and her hands go to my arms. She tries to pry it away but I tighten my grip. “We are going to have a lovely time together.” I whisper. 

“B...en...” she gasps. 

“Who’s helpless now?”

\--

I spend the first hour of our time together bruising her skin with my bare hands. I kick and punch until she just lays there and doesn’t yelp anymore. I kick her over onto her back and step on her chest. She opens her eyes and cries more. 

“You think this is bad?” I ask. “Wait until I get the knives.”

“K-k-kniv...es...”

“Yes.” I answer. “I’m going to make every second of your remaining life a living hell.”

“B-Ben please...” she whines I turn from her and go up the stairs. 

I look around for Rey. She’s still sitting at the computer. She looks up at me and gives me a slight smile. 

“You watched the whole time?” I ask. She nods her head. “And?”

“...and what?” she asks. 

“What do you think?”

“I think... you’re doing what you need to.” she says. “You... need this Ben. Do... do you feel any better?” she asks. 

“Not yet... but... it is... nice.” she smiles. 

“Nice to get it out.”

“Exactly.” I go to her and she gets up. She wraps her arms around me and puts her head to my chest. I hold her close and smile. 

“I’m going to warm me up some leftover lasagna. Do you want some?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about dinner.” I say. “Uh... no thank you. I’m going to...”

“It’s okay.” she says. “I understand” I nod my head and let her go. 

“I’m going to get some things from the garage and head back down.”

“Okay.” and she goes into the kitchen. I watch her take out the leftovers and smile. I’m glad she’s okay with this. I wouldn’t be doing it if it wasn’t for her. She persuaded me to get even and... I’m thankful for her. And each day... I find a new reason to love her. Today’s reason...

She looks over to me and smiles. I smile back and quickly go to her. I put my arms around her and bring her to me. She laughs and I kiss her lips. 

Today's reason... she loves me... just the way I am. Blood lust and all...

\--

I smile as I cut down the length of Mrs. Phasma’s thigh. She tries to squirm away but the rope is keeping her in place. She cries out as I start on her other thigh and I laugh. It’s... a great feeling. Doing this again. I’ve missed this... and... some part of me does want to sink into her and hear her scream that way. But... the other part... doesn’t want to touch her. I just want to hurt her... all I want to do it hurt her. Not like she hurt me... I don’t think I’d get any pleasure from it at all. I look over at the camera in the corner and smile at Rey. I know she’s watching. Probably still digging into her french toast and blueberries. I look back at the woman beside me and run the knife along her calf. She squirms and jolts as the blade cuts into her flesh and I sigh. 

I did miss this...

And... after my lamb is done with breakfast... I’ll invite her down. I wasn’t able to watch her fight Suzie and... I wish I had. Something about my sweet little lamb breaking through someone’s skin with a knife... turns me on. It would.... oh...

I shut my eyes and stop the knife. I don’t need a hard on right now. But... wouldn’t it be nice to take my lamb down here... while Mrs. Phasma watches... us covered in blood...

I rub the bulge in my pants and let out a groan. That would be... amazing... 

I drop the knife and turn to the camera. I smile and speak. 

“Lamb, come down please.” I say. The red light turns off and I close my eyes a moment. Maybe... she’d be up for it...

In a couple moments, the door beep open and I hear her come down the stairs. I smile when I see her and hold out my hand. She takes it and looks down at our guest. Mrs. Phasma looks up at us and she cries. 

“Christine, meet Rey.” I say. “Rey, meet Christine.” lamb watches her still and sighs. 

“What can I do?” she asks. 

“What would you like to do?” I ask back. 

“I don’t know... my head is spinning.”

“Well... we can start with this.” I hand her the knife I was using and she looks down at it. “Just... do what comes natural.” I say. “Unlike Suzie... she’s still. So, it’ll be easier to cut.”

“Okay.” and she lets go of my hand. She walks forward a few steps and Mrs. Phasma speaks. 

“P-p-please... hel-lp me...” she cries. 

“Help you?” lamb asks. “Why in the hell would I help you?” 

“P-please...”

“I’m not going to help you. What I am going to do... is make you suffer. Like you made Ben suffer.” she says. “And... I’m going to have fun doing it.” and she puts the blade to her face. 

Oh...

She cuts into her cheek and I close my eyes at the scream. She cut deep...

I open my eyes and see Rey run the blade down her cheek and neck. 

“Not too deep on the throat love.” I warn. “We don’t want her to die yet.” she looks over at me. 

“Sorry.”

“No it’s okay. Go on.” I say. “Take your time.” she smiles and continues. 

I watch on and can’t help the pride and love seeping from me. She’s doing well. She’s digging the knife into her flesh, cutting... piercing... making the blood drip onto the tarp. I watch closely and smile. My lamb... my Rey... my everything. 

I can’t help but start kissing her neck as she runs the blade over Christine’s stomach. She smiles as I do and giggles. 

“What are you doing?” she asks. 

“Hm?” I mumble against her skin. 

“Ben...” I suck her pulse into my mouth and she moans. “Ben... not... not now.”

“Why not?” I ask. 

“Because... because...” she stops the knife and I groan. 

“Keep going.” I say. “Keep cutting her...”

“Ben... are you...” I push my hips into her backside and she gasps. “Oh...”

“Please...” I beg. “Please just... a little something...”

“Like what?” she asks. Maybe... 

I let go of her and untie Christine’s legs. I bend them so there’s room on the bed and tie her feet together. I make sure her legs are tied so they can’t move and smile down at Rey. 

“Lay down.” I say. She just looks at me and I sigh. “Lay down.” I say again. She hesitates but does as I ask. She looks up into my eyes and I start to undo her pants. She puts her hands to mine and stops me. 

“Ben...”

“It’s okay.” I say. “Just... close your eyes. And let me take care of you.” 

“Why... do you...”

“I don’t know.” I answer. “Just the thought of you doing this... turns me on to no end.” I see her chest heaving.

“I don’t know...”

“Please?” I ask. “Please my lamb. I’ll... be quick. Or slow... whatever you want. I'll do whatever you want.” she stays quiet a moment and sighs. 

“Okay.” she says. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah...” I lean down and capture her lips with mine. She moans and puts her hands to my face. She holds me to her and when she ends the kiss I smile. She smiles back and sighs. “Whatever I want?” she asks. 

“Yes my love. Whatever you want.”

“Hmm...” she kisses down my throat. “Pants off.” she commands. “Both of us.”

“Yes ma’am.” and I un-button her jeans. I pull them from her legs and go to take down her underwear. But... she stops me. 

“No leave those.” I nod my head and kick off my jeans. I touch my underwear and she nods her head. I take them off too and throw them to the side. I can barely think of Christine... I just want lamb... I only want lamb... “Kiss me.” she says. I do as I’m told and she slips her tongue into my mouth. I groan and she moves her hands to my thighs. I jerk my hips forward and rub myself on her. She moans and ends this kiss. I smile down at her and I look to the side. She has the knife in her hand. I sit up and watch the knife. 

“Um... lamb...” she turns it around in her hand and holds it out to me. 

“Cut off my panties.” she says. “Then take me... hard.” 

“Really?” I ask. 

“Yes...” I nod my head and take the knife. I put the blade into the band and slowly begin to cut them from her skin. I sigh at the ripping sound and when the blade is through most of the material. I quickly move the knife. It rips through the rest and she gasps. I smile down at her and toss the knife away. I get between her legs and position myself at her entrance. I run my thumb along her clit a couple times and she shuts her eyes. “Please...” and I push into her. I groan as she stretches around me and she digs her nails into my arms. Her legs bend and she makes herself comfortable before I move. She moans and I pull almost fully out of her. I slowly push in again and she opens her eyes. “What part of hard, did you not understand?” she asks. I chuckle and lean down to kiss her lips. 

“Oh I understand perfectly Rey.” and I lean back up. I grab her legs and hold them up. She gasps and I begin to pound into her. She shuts her eyes and I sigh at the sight. Her covered breasts bouncing... her skin flushed... her legs high in the air... “Hard enough for you?” I ask. She just moans and I laugh. “I’ll take that as a yes.” and I quicken my pace. I shut my eyes and savor the feeling and sound. She’s gasping under me... only me... it’s only us... only us...

I feel her tighten around me and the more she clutches... the closer I get to my own orgasm. I feel the tightness in my balls and then... she cries out. I groan as the slickness intensifies in her and I halt my movements as I cum. My hips jolt as I finish and I let go of her legs. They fall onto the tarp and I climb over her. I kiss over her eyelids, her nose and lips. And soon she opens her eyes. She smiles up at me and I kiss her again and pull her lip into my mouth. 

“How was that?” I ask. 

“Amazing...” she gasps. “Is it what you imagined?” she asks. 

“Yes... less blood but still amazing.” she smiles and kisses me. 

“Good.” and I lay my forehead to hers. I close my eyes and lay on top of her. Her fingers start going through my hair and I smile. 

“So... want to continue?” I ask. She laughs. 

“Ready when you are.” I smile up at her and kiss her lips once more before I get off her. We get our clothes back on and she stands next to me. She hands me the knife and I sigh before I head to the side table. I get the other blade I brought down and hand it to her. She smiles and I kiss her forehead. 

“Ready.” I say. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BACKGROUND!!

Chapter Twenty-One-

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

I take a seat on the stairs and watch as Ben stands the bitch up. It’s time... it’s Sunday. It’s time for her to die. I keep my distance like Ben told me to and take a deep breath. He wants more time with her... but he said now is the time. He needs to get rid of her body so he can focus on work tomorrow and not a body in the basement. I agree to a point but... I want him to savor this. 

He pushes her down to her knees and re-ties her hands and legs. She continues to cry and he sighs. 

“What do you think my lamb?” he asks. “Knife or belt?”

“Whatever you think is best. I... I haven’t...” he looks over at me. “...really...”

“You killed Suzie.”

“No... the fall did.” I say. “I just... pushed her...”

“Which, ended up with her dead. Right?”

“Yeah...”

“Then you killed her. So, which do you think?”

“...knife.”

“Knife it is then.” he turns back to her. She tries to wiggle from the rope binding her hands and legs but to no avail. “So... Christine Phasma...” he begins. “...is there anything you’d like to say?” she looks up at him and stops crying. “Well?” he asks. “I don’t have all night.” 

“You’re a little fucker you know that?” he laughs but I don’t. How... how dare she?! 

“Am I?” he asks. 

“Yeah, you are! You’re a slimy shit faced psychopath!” she yells. “Whose dick must have never grown!” he kneels down and puts the knife to her throat. 

“Go on. Tell me more.” he says. She spews insults at him like none I’ve ever heard before. Then she stops and smiles. 

“Does she know?” she asks. 

“Does she know what?”

“That you killed your father.” Ben stills and she smiles. “That’s a no.” she looks over at me and sighs. “That’s right.” she begins. “Your... so called lover, killed his own dad. On Christmas Eve if I remember correctly. Isn’t that right Ben?”

“How do you know that?” he asks. 

It’s... it’s true?

“Oh come on... your mother’s known all this time. But... of course, she wouldn’t turn in her only son.” she says. “She told me a couple years ago. Around the anniversary over a bottle or two of wine.” Ben just looks at her as she speaks. “Did you not want her to know that?” she asks. “I’m sorry. Guess I ruined the secr-” and he jams the blade into her throat. She gurgles and blood flows from her mouth. She collapses onto the floor and he stands. I watch him and when he turns to me... I see it in his eyes. 

... he didn’t want me to know. He walks over to me and stares me down. 

“Ben...”

“I didn’t want you to know...” he says. 

“I know... but... I do now.” I say. “And... I don’t care.” his eyes widen and I continue. “As far as I know the man was an abusive son of a bitch who got everything that was coming to him.” he just watches me. “I don’t care Ben.” I say. “Why would I care about something that happened so long ago; when I condone what you just did five seconds ago?” I ask as I stand.    
“I love you. I don’t care who you’ve killed.” 

“Really?”

“Yes really.” I put my arms around him and look up his chest. I smile. “I love you Ben. And... nothing’s going to change that.” he smiles back and kisses my forehead. 

“I love you too...” we stay in our embrace a few moments and I sigh. 

“I just wish you would have told me...” I say. 

“Lamb...”

“You... you keep so much from me...”

“I don’t want to but... I wasn’t sure how you’d take it.” he says. “I... I don’t know...”

“Will you tell me what happened now?” I ask. 

“...yes.” I stay quiet and he sighs. “I promise I will. I’ll tell you everything.” I nod my head and sigh once more. 

There’s still so much I don’t know about him... but he knows everything about me. It’s... saddening. 

He... doesn’t trust me...

\--

I stay seated on the stairs and watch as Ben wraps up the body. I smile as he ties it up and pushes it slightly away from him. He looks over to me and I smile. 

“I’ll take her soon.” he says. I nod my head. “Do you want to talk now or when I get home?” he asks. 

“When you get home is fine...”

“Are you sure?” he asks. 

“Yes.” he frowns. 

“I’m sorry...” he says. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“It’s okay Ben. Just...” I sigh. “If there’s anything you think you need to hide from me... don’t. I want to everything.”

“...okay my lamb.” he comes over and kisses my forehead. “I’ll tell you.” I smile. 

“Good.” I say. “Now... get rid of her.” he nods his head. 

“Yes my love.” and he steps away from me. I head up the stairs and open the door for him, he follows behind me and I hurry to the kitchen door. I open it as well and he takes her into the garage. He sets her by the back side of the car, turns to me and just looks at me. 

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing... are you going to be okay while I’m gone?” he asks. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll be fine Ben. Just... hurry home.” he walks over to me and takes my face in his hands. I smile up at him and he leans down. We kiss and he holds me in place. He kisses me again and I run my nose along his. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” and he lets me go. “I’ll be home soon.”

“Okay.” 

“In the house you go.” I nod my head and go to the door. I enter the code and go in. I listen to him in the garage a moment before I go get myself a snack. It’s only ten and I’m going to be waiting up for him. I grab a water and a package of Oreos. I head into the living room and turn off the lights. I unmute the TV and find a movie.

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

_…_

_I park my car on the side of the street and get my bag from the backseat. I throw it over my shoulder and head up the walkway to the front door. But, before I can reach for the doorknob; I hear a very familiar sound._

_Mom... screaming..._

_I drop my bag down and go across the small line of bushes. I peek inside the window and what I see... doesn’t surprise me. Dad’s hitting her again..._

_She said... he stopped..._

_When I asked last summer she... she said he had stopped. She lied. But why? Why would she lie to me?! I’m... the only one who knows what he really is. So... why? I watch a moment and flinch as dad backhands her and she gets knocked into the wall. I look around me and sigh when I don’t see anyone looking out their windows... in their yards... they don’t hear or... they don’t care. Our lives would have been so much better if someone would have said something..._

_I look back and see mom slump down the wall and cover her face as he yells..._

_‘Dumb bitch!’_

_‘Lousy fucking wife!’_

_‘Useless cunt!’_

_And he starts to undo his belt. No... not the belt... and he doesn’t hit her with it like he did me... he..._

_I watch as he wraps it around her neck and... no... no... mom..._

_She looks out the window and her eyes flash to mine. They widen and she slowly shakes her head. She’s telling me no... to not come in... but... I can’t just stand here..._

_I hurry to the front door and open it. He turns around and I run inside. I push him into the wall and he drops the belt. He holds out his arms and I swiftly punch his face. I g_ _o to_ _hit him again but_ _he catches my fist. He holds it in his and laughs._

_“Welcome home son.” and he decks me. I fall to the ground and clutch my face. Fuck..._

_I look over at mom and see she’s lying still. The belt still wrapped around her throat..._

_I crawl over to her and hold her face in my hand._

_“Mom.” I say. “Mom!” I shake her a moment but she doesn't wake up. I put a finger to her throat and sigh when I feel a pulse. She’s not dead... not this time at least. But the next time... I won’t be here... if I hadn’t got here early... anger rises in my stomach and I look up at him. He rubs his face and smile down at me._

_“Good hit. But, next time you have to put more force into it.” I just glare at him and he sighs. “Get me a beer then take her to bed. I don’t want to look at that ugly mug anymore.” and he goes to his chair. I just watch as he walks and make a decision._

_This is it. This is the end. He’s not going to hurt her anymore..._

_“Beer now!” I get up from the floor and head into the kitchen. I get a bottle from the fridge and look around me. The whole house seems clean... mom must be in a good place right now... strange... even through the beatings..._

_I hand him the beer and he_ _opens_ _it with his teeth. I watch as he takes a swig then go to mom. I lift her into my arms and take her down the hall. I lay her on the bed and remove the belt. I put it on the dresser and sit on the bed with her a moment._

_“It’s okay mom.” I say aloud. “Everything’s going to be okay.” and I get off the bed. I head back to the front door and grab my bag. I start to head to my room and he speaks._

_“Why are you home anyway?” he asks._

_“It’s Christmas dad.”_

_“_ _So_ _it is. You better not be expecting anything from Santa.” he mocks._

_“I never believed in him and you know that.” I snap back. “You crushed that dream before it even had a chance.” and I go to my room. I put my bag on the bed and un-zip it. I put a couple clothes in my drawers and sigh when I see my knife. I pick it up with one of my shirts and turn it in my hand. It’s the same one I used on Abigail... I didn’t want to hurt her but... she wouldn’t stop screaming..._

_I close my eyes a moment and think of how to do this._

_\--_

_I grab my re-filled bag and head into the living room._

_“Where in the fuck are you going?” he asks._

_“I’m going back to school. I’m not staying here with you.” and I duck before the bottle hits my head. I look to my side and see beer running down the wall._

_“Like fuck you are!” he yells. I hurry out of the house, slam the door and drop my bag outside. I quickly slip on a pair of latex gloves from the bathroom and take my knife in hand. I turn around and quickly kick the door in. “The fuck is that?!” he yells. He stands near his chair and I take a breath before I rush to him. I plunge the knife into his gut and he puts his hands to my shoulders. He pushes on me and groans. “You... little...” I take the knife out of him and push it into his flesh again_ _and again_ _. He gurgles his last words and blood spills from his mouth. I let go of the dagger and push him back. He falls next to his chair, hitting the table next to it and making it crash to the floor. I go over him and look down. His eyes stare into mine and I sigh._

_“Thank you...” and I walk away. I take a quick glance around and nod my head. This is going to be a burglary... or... that’s what it’s going to look like. I hurry around the house and open drawers and cupboards. I put things of value into my pockets and rummage through everything. I throw clothes around but leave their bedroom alone. I don’t want to wake mom. I do go into my bedroom and get the old computer from my desk. I drop it onto the floor and look around. I don’t have anything of value but I do have a set of collector coins my grandfather gave me. I grimace as I rip the cardboard holder the coins go in and throw it to the floor. I put the coins into my pockets and head out of the house. I walk past dad’s now oozing body and grab my bag. I put it into the car and stick everything from the house inside of a sweater. I push it under the backseat and get in. I look at the house and take a breath before I drive away. Mom will hopefully wake up soon and find dad. She’ll see the ransacked house and call 911._

_I drive about thirty minutes and pull into a grocery store parking lot. I head in and grab a small hand basket. I put a couple things into it like some cereal I like and some of my energy drinks. I take my cell from my pocket and dial the house phone._

_It rings... and rings... then goes to the voicemail. I hear mom’s voice..._

_Hi it’s the Solo’s, leave a message._

_And a beep._

_“Hi, it’s me. Just wondering if I can get anything for you at the store. I stopped in on my way home... I’ll call back in a few.” and I walk down a few more aisles. I put a pack of jerky into the basket, check the time then call once more._

_Hi it’s the Solo’s, leave a message._

_And a beep._

_“Hey mom it’s me again. I guess you don’t want anything or you’re already asleep. I’ll be home soon. Don’t worry I have my key. Love you.” and I hang up. I go to the cashier and pay for my things. I head back to my car and put the bags in the back with my luggage bag. I check the time and hope everything goes to plan._

_I drive back to the house and before I get to the street. I see flashing red and blue lights. I let out a sigh of relief and start to quicken my breathing. I need to act like I’m upset. I need to seem unsuspicious. I drive on, see two cop cars and an ambulance. I park across the street and get out of my car. I see cops all around and yellow tape around the house; I hurry onto the lawn._

_“Mom!” I yell. A cop puts his arm out and holds me back._

_“Get back!” he yells. “This is a crime scene!”_

_“This is my house!” I yell back. “Mom!” and I see her face. She walks in front of the door and puts her hands over her mouth._

_“I-I-it's okay.” I hear her say. “That’s my boy.” the cop puts his arm down and I go to her. I wrap my arms around her and sigh._

_“Are you okay?” I ask. “What’s going on?”_

_“S-someone... broke in.” she says. “T-they... took my jewelry and... they... your father’s gone hon...” she says though her tears._

_“...what?” I ask. She nods her head. And holds me close. “Mom...” and I fake tears. I let them roll onto my cheeks and lay my head on her shoulder. I cry to her and I look into the house. I see a black body bag and I sigh._

_Good riddance..._

_\--_

Rey holds my hand and runs her thumb over the top of it. She nods her head and I sigh. 

“So... that’s what happened.” I say. “I just... did it. And... I still have mom’s things but I thought I’d never get to give them back...”

“Well she knows, I suppose.” she says. “So... you can.” I nod my head. 

“I can... after I talk to her about... everything.” she squeezes my hands and smiles over at me. 

“You can visit her this weekend.” she says. 

“No, I’ve been away from you for a month... I’ll visit soon though.”

“...okay.” I lay my head on her shoulder and she sighs. “Thank you.” she says. 

“For?” I ask. 

“Telling me. Confiding in me. You know... you know you can tell me anything Ben. I... I’m here for you.” and she kisses the top of my head. I close my eyes. 

“I know... I know you are lamb.”

“Always...” I smile. 

“Yes, always....” we stay like that a moment and I sigh. “I’m tired.”

“Bed time?” she asks. 

“Yeah... you can stay up if you want.”

“No, I’m tired too.” I take my head from her shoulder and stand. I put my hand out to her and she takes it. I lift her from the couch and she smiles. I quickly turn off the lights and make sure the doors are locked. She waits for me and soon we’re in the bedroom. I watch as she changes from her day clothes into a pair of matching grey pajamas. I throw off my pants and change into comfy t-shirt. I wait for her to climb into bed and when she’s on her side, I get under the covers with her. She automatically clings to me and I smile. I put my arm around her and holds her to me. 

“I love you.” I say. 

“I love you too Ben.” and she kisses under my chin. “Night.”

“Night my love.” and I close my eyes. 

_…_

_Mom’s happy again when I visit. She cooks me my favorite dinner, chicken and dumplings. Since dad is gone... she’s... different. I’ve never seen mom smile so much. It makes me happy. She’s thrown all the liquor from the house and has decided to sell. She wants a new start. She’s going to move in with her brother in_ _Greenwater_ _, which is about an hour away. She asks if that’s alright with me and I say yes._

_“I know you’ll have to drive for a while longer when you visit but...” she trails off._

_“It’s okay mom. It’s not that far away.” she smiles and squeezes my hand._

_“Thank_ _you hon._ _”_

_“Uh huh.” I take a bite of my dinner then take a drink of soda. Her smile grows. “What?” I ask._

_“Nothing... I’m just... happy.”_

_“I know you are mom.”_

_“I know I should be sadder than I am but... you know.” I nod my head. “I just... wish I could have spoken to him... one more time...” I frown._

_“You do?” I ask._

_“Yeah...”_

_“What would you have said?”_

_“I’d say... thank you.”_

_“Mom... what in the hell do you have to thank that bastard for?” I ask._

_“_ _Ben_ _...”_

_“No. He beat you; and me. He made our lives a living hell and made it worse for you when I left. There’s nothing to thank him for.”_

_“There’s one thing.”_

_“What?” I ask._

_“...you.” I’m taken aback by her answer._

_“...what?”_

_“I’d thank him for giving me you.” she says. I see tears in her eyes._

_“Mom...”_

_“You, are the single best thing that happened to me. And I love you more than life. He helped make you honey... I wouldn’t have you if it wasn’t for him...”_

_“Maybe if you met someone else, you’d have a better kid.” I say. She shakes her head._

_“No, there’s no one better than you.” she squeezes my hand. “You’re my boy... you always will be.” I blink away a few tears and smile._

_“I love you mom.”_

_“I love you too.”_

_…_

\--

Two Weeks Later

\--

I watch as a few people walk past and smile as the man waves. I hold up my hand and be friendly. I look as they walk down a few more feet and I look down at the headstone. 

**Han Solo**

**June 3** ** rd ** **1960 – December 24** ** th ** **2006**

**Friend– Husband – Father**

I never visited him before... it’s been... twelve years. There was never a reason to... until now. I sigh and open the bottle of beer. I pour it across the grass and drop the bottle down. He doesn’t deserve it... but...  

I open another bottle and take a swig. 

“Without you... I wouldn’t have my lamb. I... I’m glad you’re not here to meet her though.” I smile. “She already helped with the woman who raped me so... killing the man who beat me would come naturally to her.” I nod my head and take another drink. “It’d be a sight though, that’s for sure. She’d give you a run for your money.” I sigh. “I have her... strangely because of you so... thanks.” I look around me and shake my head. “I can’t believe I’m thanking you but... stranger things have happened.” I take the last drink of beer and sigh. “Bye dad.” and I walk back to my car. 

\--

I smile as Uncle Luke leaves through the front door. He waves so mom and I wave back. I take a drink of my soda and wait until I hear his car pull from the driveway. Mom smiles over at me and starts to speak but I interrupt her. 

“Mom.” I start. 

“Yes honey?”

“The night... dad died...”

“What about it?” she asks. 

“What do you remember?”

“Ben... why so curious all of a sudden?” I eye her and she sighs. “I remember... him... being angry.” she starts. “He... hit me and choked me.” I nod my head. “And... oh honey, there’s no ne-”

“Mom.” I see the knowing in her eyes and she sighs. 

“...you were there.” she says. “In the window. And then... when I woke up... he was dead.” she finishes. 

“And?” I ask. 

“And... I knew. I knew the moment I saw him bleeding on the floor.” she says. “But...”

“But what? You knew it was me.” I say. “You never... said anything.”

“Of course, I didn’t. I didn’t want you to go to prison.”

“Mom...”

“I know what I did Ben.” she says. “I know I lied to the police but... I knew you did it for a good reason.”

“You... you don’t know that.” I say. “I could have just felt like it.”

“You didn’t.” she says. “I know you; you don’t have a mean bone in your body.” I sigh. She doesn’t know me... at all. “You killed him so he wouldn’t hurt me anymore. And... I’m thankful for that. But, no I wasn’t going to say anything; then have you worry I’d say something.”

“Mom I’d never think you’d tell. I just wish you’d told me you knew.”

“How do you know now?” she asks. “What made you think of it?”

“...I’ve been thinking about it for a while now.” I lie. “It’s been on my mind.”

“Honey... there’s no need to bring it up. I never said anything about it and I never will. I’ll protect you. I always will.” I know that’s a lie... she told Mrs. Phasma... but...

“I know mom. I’m sorry, I just... I just needed to know.” she sighs and reaches for my hand. I let her hold it and smile. “I won’t bring it up again.” I say. 

“Good. That’s good.” she says. “We’ll just... continue with the... intruder story. If anyone asks.” I nod my head. 

“Okay mom... um...”

“What?” she asks. 

“Your... jewelry...”

“Oh Ben...”

“Do you want it?” I ask. “I still have it.”

“No, I don’t. It’ll just... bring back bad memories.” she says. “Just... sell it. You can get rid of anything on the internet now a days.” I smile. 

“Yeah you can.” she smiles back. 

“Okay then... hungry?” she asks. I laugh. 

“For your cooking?” I ask. “Always.” she nods her head and gets off the couch. 

“How’s a hot sandwich sound?” she asks. 

“Sounds fine mom.” and she goes into the kitchen. I smile as she walks away and I put my head in my hands. 

That’s that then... 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry in advance...

Chapter Twenty-Two-

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

I watch as Ben moves the wok in a back and worth motion. I smile as he tosses the stir-fry in the air and catches it all. I clap and he turns off the stove. He turns to me and bows. I grab our bowls of rice and he pours the chicken and vegetables into them. He hands me a pair of chopsticks and we sit at the table. I kiss his cheek before I dig in and he smiles. 

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” and he takes a bite. I do the same and as we eat... I can feel something different in the air. It's been a month since he killed Mrs. Christensen... since he talked things over with his mom... he seems at ease. And in turn... he’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him. And... he hasn’t had the ache. Which makes me very happy. Maybe... he won’t need to... hurt others anymore. And, that’ll mean... I won’t have to either. 

I didn’t enjoy killing Suzie... 

But, I did enjoy hurting Mrs. Christensen... 

It felt good to torture someone who hurt my Ben. I wish he didn’t have to do it but... I’m glad he did. 

I lay my head on his shoulder and he kisses the top of it. 

“What is it lamb?” he asks. 

“Nothing, I’m just happy.”

“Are you now? Why?” 

“I just am. I... I’m happy here with you...”

“I’m happy too...” he lays his head on mine. I close my eyes and smile. 

I can hope... it’ll stay this way... forever. 

\--

I turn the page in my book and read on as Ben grabs his pajamas from the drawers. I can sense him standing at the door, so I look up. There’s a smile spread across his face. 

“What?” I ask.

“Would you like to join me?” 

“In the shower?”

“No, I was thinking of a bath.” 

“Hmm...” I quickly close my book and rush to him. He kisses my lips quickly and we head to the bathroom. He lays his clothes on the counter and starts the water. He grabs a bottle of lavender scented oil and pours it into the water. And when it’s not too high, he shuts it off and turns to me. 

“Undress.” he says. 

“Make me.” I say back. He smiles and grabs my t-shirt. He pulls me to him and runs his hands over my stomach. He gently lifts the fabric from my body and throws it to the side. He leans down and quickly takes a nipple into his mouth. I sigh as his tongue teases it and he kisses downward. As he gets to the pants, he dips his thumbs into the fabric and pulls them down. They pool at my feet and he kisses my mound through my underwear. I put my hand to his head and he takes them down as well. I stand there, naked and he takes my legs in his hands. He kisses up my thigh... and down... and up... “Aren’t we going to bathe?” I ask. He looks up at me and sighs. 

“Don’t you want...” and he runs his tongue up my slit. I moan and he dips his tongue inside me. I grip his hair and he pleasures me with his mouth. I sigh as he stops and stands. 

“But...”

“But, what?” he asks. “You want to bathe... fine, we’ll bathe.” I glare at him and he smiles. “I’m giving you what you want lamb.”

“But-” and he takes me in his arms. He spins me a moment and I laugh. He puts my feet into the bath and lets me go. I take a seat and watch in awe as he undresses. He keeps his eyes on me and I bite my lip as he walks toward me. I sit up more in the tub and he sinks in behind me. I lay into his chest and he puts his arms around me, right under my breasts. I close my eyes and sigh at the warm, cozy smelling water and the hardness against my back. 

“Nice?” he asks. 

“Yes...” I sigh. I move my hips slightly and he groans. “Nice?” I ask back. He chuckles and lays his head on my shoulder. 

“Very.” I smile and move my hands from my sides. I begin to rub his arms that I love so much and he tightens his grip. He kisses my neck and sighs. “I love you.” he says. 

“I love you too.” and I turn my head. I kiss his nose and he sighs. He removes his arms and grabs a loofa. He squirts some of my soap and lathers it a moments before he begins to wash my chest. He pays attention to my breasts then my shoulders and stomach. He lowers the loofa and I moan is it runs in-between my thighs. He puts his feet on the insides of mine and spreads my legs more. 

He keeps a slow pace as he ‘washes’ me and I lay my head to his chest. My breaths come in soft pants and his other hand reaches around me and takes a breast in his hand. He fondles me and I move my hips to the pace of his hands. He suddenly quickens it and I gasp as he pinches my nipple. 

“Are you going to cum for me Rey?” he asks. 

“...y-yes.” I gasp. He kisses my neck and he pushes the loofa harder into the apex of my thighs. I raise my hips to meet it and I grasp the side of the tub. 

“There we go...” he whispers. “There we go...” I start to whimper as the tension builds and when I let go... 

“Ben!” I yell. He continues to move the loofa and when my aftershocks are done with he tosses the loofa to the side. I lay against his chest and breathe... 

“Happy?” he asks. I nod my head, speechless. He runs his hands over my thighs and I sigh. “Good.” we lay there for a few more moments and he sighs. 

“What?” I ask. 

“Nothing... just thinking.”

“Of?”

“... making love to you.”

“And... that’s... bad?” I ask.

“No. But... the way I want you...” he trails off. 

“How do you want me?” 

“...will you do as I say?” he asks. 

“...yes. But, what do you want?” 

“...you’ll see.” and he moves me. He steps out of the tub and holds out his hand. I take it and he helps me out. I go for a towel and when I grab it, he pulls me from the bathroom. 

“Ben...”

“It’s okay. I just... want to try something.” he leads me to the bedroom and when I’m near the bed, I go to sit. But, he stops me. “No. Just... wait.”

“Kay.” he lays on the bed and puts a pillow under his head. He puts his hands to his sides and sighs. 

“Get on.”

“What?”

“I want you on top. So... get on.” 

“Ben... no. I... you won’t like it.”

“I want to try.” I just look at him and sigh. 

“Are you sure?” I ask. “I... I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.” he says. “If I... can’t handle it... I’ll say so.” I bite my lip and take a deep breath. 

“Okay.” and I straddle him. I put my hand to his chest and sigh. “Um...”

“Just... do it.” he says. I nod my head and trace my finger along his tattoo.  _Let Fate Decide_

Right...

I lean down and lay over him. I kiss his lips and run my tongue over his lips. We kiss for a few moments and I run my hands over his face and slightly move my hips. His cock is hard... that’s a good sign...

I don’t want to rush him... but...

He moves his hips upward and his cock presses to me. I moan and run my nails down his cheeks. I continue to kiss him and he finally move his hands. I smile as they go to my waist and press me to him. I stop our kiss then kiss his nose and chin. I move to his adam’s apple and lick it before I sit up. He keeps his hands on me and I sigh. 

“Are you sure?” I ask. He stares up at me and nods his head. 

“Yes.”

“Ben... if it’s too much...

“I want this.” he says. 

“Okay.” and I reach in-between my legs. I take his cock in hand and pump it a few times. He groans and I rub the pre-cum over his head. I take a breath and keep an eye on him while I slowly lower onto him. He shuts his eyes and grips my waist. His fingers dig into my skin and I sigh. I don’t move right away and when his face softens I lower myself further. His hands relax and I move my hips is a circular motion. He groans quietly and I sigh. “Are you okay?” I ask. 

“...yes.”

“Ben please.” I say. 

“I’m fine...” he says. “Move... slowly. Please.” and I do as he asks. I raise and lower myself while he keeps ahold of my waist and I do see a slight sign of pleasure on his face. But his eyes are shut tight. I sigh and ignore the feeling in my stomach. 

“Ben... look at me please.” I say. He doesn’t open his eyes so I stop moving. “Ben... you have to look at me. Please.” 

“Rey...”

“No. You need to... it’s... it’s just me.” I assure him. “It’s just lamb.” I rub his hand and sigh. “Lamb’s here...” and he slowly opens his eyes. He lets out a breath as he does and I smile down at him. I keep my hand on his and the other on his chest; keeping me balanced. “I’m here...” his eyes flutter as I move my hips and I start to move again. I keep a steady pace and watch him. His eyes are on me... his hands are keeping me to him... he seems fine. I clench my muscles once and he groans. 

“Fuck...” I sigh and quicken my pace slightly. He moves his hands to my ass and squeezes. He’s getting better, that makes me happy. I see his adam’s apple bob in his throat. “Faster.” he says. 

“Are you sure?” I ask. He nods his head and tightens his grip. I do as he says and he shuts his eyes a moment before he opens them again. He stares up at me and slowly moves his hands from my ass to my breasts. He doesn’t squeeze but he does gently cup them so they lightly bounce in his hands. 

“Lamb...” he whispers. I smile and gasp as the ache between my thighs begins to intensify. 

“Ben...” he sighs and swiftly sits up. He kisses my throat and wraps his arms around me. I put my hands to his hair and tangle my fingers in it. He begins to move his hips with mine and I moan. My movements become sharp and uneven and I begin to whimper and pant. I feel his hands go to my ass and before I know it he flips me onto my back. I lay underneath him and he begins to kiss me. I keep my fingers tangled in his hair and when he stops the kiss, I take a deep breath. He starts with a fast pace and soon enough I claim my climax. I yell out his name and he continues his pace. He chases his own orgasm and I run my hands over him. Feeling him... bringing him along...

I look into his eyes and he stiffens under my touch. 

“Fuck!” he yells. He stills his movements and I sigh as I feel him empty inside of me. He lays on top of me and breathes into my neck. I look up at the ceiling and hope... hope to the gods, he’s alright. 

I run my fingers through his hair and wait until our breathing is evened out. And when it is...

“Ben?”

“Yes?”

“Are you okay?” I ask. 

“I’m better than okay lamb.”

“I jus-”

“It felt good... fucking good...” he assures me. He kisses my chest and I sigh. 

“Are you sure? Because you-” he leans up on his forearms and looks into my eyes. 

“It was rough at first, I’ll admit that.” he says. “But...” he runs his hand along my face and kisses my lips before he continues. “... I enjoyed it. It was with you... how bad could it be?” he asks. 

“...really bad.” he smiles. 

“I... I haven’t thought about that position, ever.” he admits. “But... I want you... in every way I can.”

“Ben...”

“I wanted it with you... and only you.” I smile. I run my fingers across his cheek and he sighs. “You’re everything.” he says. “You’re my everything. And...” he takes a breath and smiles. “... you make the bad thoughts go away.” I feel tears in my eyes and I lean in to kiss him. “I love you Rey.”

“I love you too...” he lays his head back on my chest and I let out a ragged breath. 

No more bad thoughts... no more bad anything... not when we’re together. 

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I walk out of the customers house and get into my car. I send off my report and pull out of their driveway. That was my last appointment for the day... and it’s late. So I’ll stop and get dinner. We haven’t had hamburgers in a while, so I’m sure lamb won’t mind. 

I head into town and pull into a drive thru. I wait in line and check my phone. I scroll though my emails and then I get a text. I swipe down on the notification and see it’s from my mom. 

_Hi hon... just wanted to know if you had plans for Christmas?? Uncle_ _Luke_ _and I would love to have you._

Christmas is over three weeks away...

And she texts again. 

_I know we haven’t done anything together in a few years but wouldn’t it be nice?_

_I can make_ _gingerbread :_ _)_

I smile and pull up a car length. It would be nice but... I can’t leave Rey alone on a holiday. We didn’t do anything for thanksgiving... well... I made a turkey breast and the fixings but... it wasn’t a celebration. Christmas is... different. 

_If you have plans already that’s fine. I was just wondering._

I pull up to the menu board and quickly order two cheeseburgers and fries. As I pay I get another text. When I pull up and wait for my food I check my phone again. 

_Just get ahold of me once you know. Love you._

I sigh and leave the texts. I don’t know what to say... I can’t say what’s going on... so... what do I do? As I drive I think of what I can say. 

Sorry mom, I have a missing person living with me. Oh yeah and I’m the one who kidnapped her.

I’d love to, oh but is it alright if I bring my prisoner/girlfriend?

Rey sorry I have to leave you on your favorite holiday but I can’t have mom be suspicious. 

I can just say I have plans with friends. That’ll get her off my back, and I can go visit on another day. And that way I can spend the time with my lamb. As I pull into the garage I see snowflakes begin to fall from the sky. I sigh and shut the door. I get the fast food bags from the car and head into the house. I sigh as I step in and smile when I see her. She waits until I put my things on the table, then comes into my arms. I hold her close and breathe in her scent. She took a shower... 

I kiss the top of her head and I hear the smile in her voice when she speaks. 

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too lamb.” 

“How was your day?” she asks. 

“Fine, busy. You?”

“It was alright. I watched a Game of Thrones marathon.”

“Nice.” I say. “I brought burgers. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, sounds good.” she lets me go and gets the bags. She begins to unpack them and I sigh. 

I wish...

I wish we could be like any other couple...

But... we can’t... not while I’m keeping her captive... so... I have to let her go. 

…

…

...what?

\--

I watch as Rey looks out the small window on the front door. She’s watching the snow fall, and it’s making her happy. Winter is her favorite time of year... and my least. I hate the cold, always have. But... seeing her eyes light up when I said it was starting to snow... made me so happy. I stir the beef stew and sigh as she tries to get closer to the window. I turn away and quickly wipe a tear from my eye. 

I have to let my lamb go...

I look into the pot and let out a ragged breath.

I have to let her go...

We can’t... we won’t be able to stay this way for long. She’ll... go mad...

I feel her arms wrap around me and smile. 

“Almost?” she asks. I clear my throat and cough. 

“Yes lamb. Almost.” I feel her head against my back and sigh. I put my hand over hers and squeeze them. I shut my eyes and try to keep calm...

This one thought... has ruined everything...

\--

I look up at the bedroom ceiling and think.

Why... why am I thinking this?

Why...

I don’t... I don’t want to... but... I do...

I look over at my lamb and sigh. She’s hugging a pillow instead of me which makes it easy for me to slip out of the bed. I head into the living room and take a seat on the couch. I lay my head back and cover my face with my hands. 

I...

I want to let her go...

I want to let my lamb go and... have a normal life with her. It makes sense in my head. I could just talk it over with her... let her loose and wait a few weeks... or months... and pursue her like any regular man would do. Take her on dates... to restaurants and the movies... I could meet her friends and her family. She could meet mom...

We could work 9-5 jobs and adopt a dog. Get married like any other couple would and have a family. She could do what she wanted and we could live a normal life. She wouldn’t have to stay in this house all the time or tell me what she wanted from the store. We could go together. We could do everything together. Go to museums... the aquarium... vacations to Hawaii or France. 

That’s what I want but... at the same time... I don’t. 

What if... she didn’t want me once I let her go? What if she realizes what a horrible man I am? What if she reports me? I could go to jail. I would lose my life... her...

I want to scream at myself for even thinking about letting her go but... I stay silent and breathe into my hands. 

What in the hell is wrong with me? It just popped into my head and wouldn’t leave. 

She would like to be free... I know that deep down. But... why should I let her go? I caught her... fair and square. She’s mine and I’m hers.

I get off the couch and head back to the bedroom. I watch her as she sleeps and get into bed with her. I put my hand to her face and sigh. 

I just have to forget I even thought about it. There’s no way I could let her go. I... I wouldn’t survive...

I love her too much... she loves me... 

\--

Three Weeks Later

\--

I keep lamb pressed to my chest as we watch Christmas Vacation and sip on hot cocoa. We laugh along with the show and I lay my head on hers. She cuddles closer to me and I smile. She wants to be with me... and... that thought... is keeping me going. 

I’ve decided to let her go. 

But... not anytime soon. Not today... not next week but soon. I at least want to keep her a year. That’s... three months away. I can do that... I can prepare her for release in that time. She’ll... understand. She’ll forgive me... 

She starts to get up but I pull her back to my chest. She giggles and looks up at me. 

“I’m just going to get more cocoa.” she says. 

“No. You’re sweet enough.” she rolls her eyes and leaves my arms. I watch as she walks away and I pause the show. I won’t tell her tonight.... not on Christmas...

But... I will tell her after new years. I’ll prepare her for the blow... I know... she won’t take it well at first. But, she will understand my madness. I know it. She’ll work with me and a few months after I let her go... I’ll go to her again. I’ll... go up to her like I should have done in the first place. ‘Hi my name is Ben... you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Please let me take you to dinner.’

She comes back and settles herself between my legs. I smile and she sips her drink. I start the movie again and while we watch, I think. 

She’ll love me... even after we’re apart... I know it...

We’re meant to be together...

I kiss the top of her head and she looks up at me. She smiles and I smile back. 

“I love you.” I say. 

“I love you too Ben.”

She’ll love me... no matter what... 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I may have cried writing this chapter... so once again... I'm sorry.

Chapter Twenty-Three - 

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I try to keep a straight face as lamb dances around the kitchen while she bakes. She’s in a good mood since it’s still snowing outside and also because I asked for an apple pie. She got excited and the second I got back from the store, she stole the bags from me and started to bake. She moves her body to the music and I can’t help but smile. She’s happy... which makes me happy. And... I’m going to savor that. I’m going to tell her tonight...

She turns around and holds out her hand to me. 

“Dance with me.” she says. I roll my eyes and get up from my computer chair. I walk over to her and put my hand in hers. She pulls me to her and I move my body with hers. I smile as she makes me go faster and she laughs. She puts her head to my chest and wraps her arms around me. “I love you...” she whispers. 

“I love you too lamb...” I keep her to me and kiss the top of her head. “Almost done?” I ask.

“No, it still has to bake. I’m just putting on the final touches.” 

“Okay.” and I kiss her head again. She tries to get out of my grip but I keep my arms around her. 

“What’s wrong with you today?” she asks. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean... you’ve acted strange all day. You’ve... held me more than normal you... haven’t kept your eyes off me. 

“Isn’t that how I am every day?” I ask. She smiles and nods. 

“Yes, but... today is different.” 

“Yes... today is different...” I mutter. 

“Why?” she asks. 

“You’ll see.”

“Ben... if you have the ache... I... I’m okay with you bringing someone here just... tell me.”

“It’s not that lamb.” I say. “I promise.”

“...okay.” she looks up at me and I kiss her forehead. “I trust you.”

“I know you do...” she lets go of me and goes to the pie. 

She’ll understand... I know it...

\--

I keep my eye on Rey as she washes the dishes. I dry them or her them put them into the cupboard. She rinses her hands then smiles at me before walking into the living room. I watch her go and sigh. 

It’s time...

I follow behind her and we take our places on the couch. She cuddles to my chest as always and switches on the TV. She scrolls through the channels a moment then I take the remote from her. She looks up at me and I sigh. 

“We have to talk.”

“...about?” she asks. 

“Our future.” I mute the TV and she sits upright. She looks me in the eyes and all I see is worry across her face. 

“What... what’s wrong?” she asks. 

“Lamb... Rey... I...” how to say it? “I... I love you.” I say. “I love you so much and I want the best for you. And... I’ve come to realize that... the best thing for you...” I sigh and continue. “...is to be free.” 

“F-free?”

“Yes.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean... I’m going to let you go.” I muster. She stays quiet a moment then laughs. 

“Very funny.”

“I’m telling the truth.” I say. “I’m going to let you go. I have to.”

“Ben...”

“I... I need to let you go. So you... we can have a normal life.”

“Normal?” she asks. “Ben...”

“It’ll be hard I know. But, I think it’s for the best.”

“You can’t be serious.” she says. “You... you can’t just let me go!”

“...yes.... I can.”

“What if I don’t want to go?”

“You won’t.” I answer. “But, you’ll go anyway.”

“Why?”

“Because I know you want to make me happy, and letting you go, will do that.” she flinches at my answer and shakes her head. 

“You have to be joking.” she says. “There’s... there’s no way you’re just going to let me go. What if I tell? Hm?” she asks. “What if go to the police and tell them that you kidnapped me?”

“You won’t, because you love me.” tears fall from her eyes and resist the urge to hit myself. I’m making her cry... “You won’t say a thing about me. I know that. And... I’ll prepare you. I’ll tell you what to say and-”

“And what?” she asks. “What then?”

“...you’ll get your life back. You'll go back to living with Rose and going to work. Eating at the Thai place on Saturdays. Everything will go back to normal.”

“I don’t know what normal is anymore Ben.” she cries. “I know you.”

“I know.”

“What... what am I supposed to do without you?”

“You’ll get along fine without me.”

“I don’t want to be without you!” she yells. “I can’t!”

“Yes, you can. You lived without me before and-”

“Yes before!” she yells. “Before... you...” she puts her hands over her eyes and cries. I wrap my arms around her and sigh. 

“It’ll only be for a little while.” I tell her. “After... you get back to your routine I’ll come for you.” she wraps her arms around me and cries into my chest. “I’ll come for you and... we can date. Like actually date. In public.” I say. “I can take you to the movies and to restaurants. Anything you want.” 

“...I want to be with you...” she cries. 

“...I know.” I say. “I know you do...” I sigh. “But I have to do this.” I whisper against her hair. 

“No, no you don’t.” she cries. “Just keep me Ben...”

“I can’t.” I admit. “You’ll... you’ll grow to hate me. And... I couldn’t handle that.”

“I could never hate you...” I shut my eyes at her words. I know they’re true but... I can’t risk it happening. “I love you... I love you so much...” 

“I love you too... which is why I’m going to let you go.”

“I don’t want to be let go.” she cries. “I want to stay with you... only you. Forever.”

“I know...” I whisper. “I know...” I hold on to her tight and lay my head on hers. “Everything’s going to be okay.” I say. “I know it.”

“How...?”

“Because... we love each other.” I say. “And... that’s enough.” 

That’s enough...

“Please...”

“We’ll be okay; I promise. You... you trust me... don’t know?” I ask. 

“Of course I do... but-”

“But what? You know I wouldn’t do something unless it was necessary.”

“I know but... this doesn’t seem right to me...” she whispers. 

“I’m sorry...” I say. “I’m so sorry...” I kiss the top of her head breathe in her shampoo. 

Everything will be okay...

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

I lay in bed and watch Ben sleep. I gently run my finger down his nose and sigh. 

I don’t understand why he’s doing this. I... I don’t want to be free of him. Maybe... eight months ago I would have but... not now. Not now because... I love him. I don’t want to be apart... but... he does. I wipe a tear from my eye and sigh. He said...  everything’s going to be okay but... I don’t see how it could when we’re not together. We’re meant to be together... and...

I put my face to the pillow and breathe in. I have to calm down... but it’s hard. I’m so upset... 

He said we won’t be apart long but... it makes me worry. What if he finds someone new? What if he forgets about me? What if he decides to kill me once I’m free? Maybe this is just his final plan. To get rid of me...

He groans in his sleep and moves his head slightly. His arm moves and goes over my hip. He pulls me to him and I put my forehead to his chest. I smile and kiss his skin. 

No... he wouldn’t hurt me... he’d never. 

He loves me too much...

I close my eyes and savor the feeling of his arm around me. The feel of his breath on my neck... the warmth coming from his body...

I love everything... and I always will. 

I’ll always love Ben...

\--

I watch as Ben flips the pancake in the air. Since I’m upset... he’s making me my favorite breakfast. He smiles over at me and I smile back. But once he turns around I frown. I don’t want to go... 

He said it won’t be for a few months but... it feels like it’s happening today. And besides... a few months... isn’t that long. He said he’d let me go after the anniversary of when he took me. Which is the 29th of March so... sometime after that... I won’t be here anymore. I’ll be without Ben... 

He turns to the table and sets a plate of pancakes down. I quickly wipe a tear from my eye and he frowns. 

“Oh my love...” he whispers. He comes around the table and gathers me in his arms. I cry to his chest and he sighs. “Please don’t cry...” 

“I’m sorry...”

“No... I am...” he says. “I’m the one making you cry...” he holds me close and I try to stop crying. “Please... please don’t. Everything’s going to be okay my lamb. I promise.” he pets my hair and tries to soothe me but... I’m so sad... I don’t want to be away from him. I don’t know what I’ll do... “It’s okay...” he says. “I’m here... Ben’s here...” I hold onto his shirt and breathe. 

“I don’t know if I can live without you...” I whisper. 

“You can.” he says. “And you will...” I shut my eyes and hear him sigh. “We won’t be apart for long. A few months at the most.”

“That’s too long...”

“I know but... just think... I had to be away from you for over a year.” he says. “And, I was fine.”

“You also killed and raped while you were waiting.” he frowns. 

“That was different. This time... I’ll be good.” he says. “I’ll act how I have been. No... stalking... killing or any of that.” I feel his lips on the top of my head. “I’ll wait for you properly.” 

“You will?” I ask. 

“Yes, I’ll be good for you.” he says. “I promise I won’t do anything of the sort.”

“...okay.”

“And you...” he says. “I want something from you too.” he lets go of me and crouches down. 

“...what?” I ask. He takes a deep breath then speaks. 

“I want you to promise me that you won’t look for me.” 

“...what? What does that even mean?” I ask.

“It means... no matter how long we’re apart... you won’t look for me. On the street, in clubs. Nowhere.”

“But... you’ll be there... with me won’t you?” I ask. “How you were before?”

“Lamb...”

“Ben please...”

“I can’t. The people around you will be so protective they’ll see every little thing that’s out of place. Which, includes me.”

“But-”

“No buts. Now promise me.” he says. 

“Ben...”

“Promise me lamb.” I hesitate then nod my head. 

“Okay... I promise.” and he smiles. 

“Good girl.” he leans up and kisses my forehead. He stands and sits down next to me. “Come on now... let’s eat.” I nod my head and watch as he serves me pancakes. I swallow the dryness of my mouth and breath. No more crying...

\--

I watch the movie Ben found for me and smile as David Bowie sings and dances with the goblins. It’s been a few days since he told me the news and, I will admit... the thought is getting easier to comprehend. I... I don’t want to leave him but the more he talks me through his madness... I understand it. He wants us to have a normal life together. And... that can’t be until... I’m free. Which... does make sense. I’m... not allowed to leave the house because... I’m missing. I’m... not supposed to be here. But... I am. I’m meant to be with Ben. 

I sigh and shake my head. I pay attention to the movie and wait for Ben to get home. It’s his first day of work since he told me and... he almost called in sick. But, I told him to go in. I’ll be fine. He said everything was going to be okay... I have to trust him. I have to trust Ben. 

I hear the oven timer go off and I go into the kitchen. I’m “making” dinner tonight. Even though Ben wrote out instructions for me. He said he was going to be home late so he put me in charge of dinner. I open the oven and take the pan out. I set it on the counter and cut into the pork roast. It’s almost done, but not quite. I put it back in the oven and set the timer again. It should be done before Ben gets home, or at least right after. I head back into the living room and sit on the couch. I cover myself with a blanket he bought me for Christmas and watch the movie. 

\--

Ten minutes later dinner is done and all Ben has to do when he gets home is make the gravy. I knew I would burn it so he agreed to do that one thing when he returned. I set out our plates and set the oven to warm only. I head back into the living room and watch my movie until I hear something pull into the driveway. I peek out the window and see Ben pulling into the garage. I pause my movie and head into the kitchen. I resist the urge to open the door and go to him.

Soon he opens the door and comes in. I smile when I see him and he smiles back. I go to him and wrap my arms around his neck. He leans down, kisses my lips once and runs his nose along mine. 

“Hello.” he says. 

“Hi, how was your day?” I ask. 

“Just fine. How’s dinner going?” he asks. 

“Good. It’s just warming.”

“Good job. I’ll finish it up now.”

“Okay.” but I don’t remove my arms. He smiles at me and sighs. 

“Lamb.” he warns. 

“What?” I ask. 

“Let go so I can finish dinner.” I sigh and kiss him. He moans and kisses me back. He runs his tongue over my lips and I open my mouth to him. His tongue enters my mouth and he holds me close. And when I move my leg up his... he ends the kiss. I whimper and he sighs. “We can wait until bed time.” he says. 

“I want you now...” I whisper. 

“I know you do. But... I am starving. I had to skip my lunch hour cuse’ of the second appointment.” I sigh and he kisses my nose. “Don’t pout. I'll fuck you nice and hard later.” I blush at the language and let him go. 

“Okay.” he smiles, laughs then heads to the stove. I watch him move around and sigh. 

I love him...

\--

I kiss Ben’s neck while he carries me to the bedroom. He lays me on the bed and climbs over me. He starts kissing my chest through the shirt and I quickly take it off along with my bra. I throw them to the side and he sighs as he takes my breasts in hand. He kneads them then takes a nipple in his mouth. I moan as his tongue laps at it and he moves his fingers in unison on its twin. I arch my chest and my breast goes further into his mouth. He sucks with force then lets it go. I whimper and he smiles at me before he moves his mouth lower. He kisses down my abdomen and stomach then gets to the top of my pants. He swiftly takes them from my body along with my panties then immediately starts running his tongue up and down my slit. I sigh as he gently dips his tongue inside my folds and smile as he groans. 

“You... taste... so... good.” he says between licks. I tangle my fingers in his hair and keep his head where I want him. He sighs against my womanhood and I shiver at the feeling of his breath. He runs his tongue upward and gently flicks my clit. I gasp and he laughs. “You like that lamb?” he asks. I nod my head and he licks again. “I asked you a question...”

“Yes, I like it.” I say. “Please...” and he runs his tongue over it. I sigh and he starts a steady pace. I move my hips with his tongue and soon... he gives me a toe curing orgasm. I pull on his hair and he groans as I push my hips up. I let go of his hair as I come down and lay lifeless on the covers. He kisses upward and finally gets to my lips. He softly kisses them and I open my eyes. I bite my lip and he smiles. 

“Good?” he asks. 

“Very...” he kisses me again and I moan as I taste myself on his tongue. He rubs his crotch against me and I sigh. “Let me take care of you?” I ask. He smiles. 

“Always.” and he sits up. I sit up with him and watch him undress. He lays back on the bed and I climb on top of him. He tenses under my touch, so I start by kissing his face. 

“It’s okay...” I tell him. “Lamb’s here...” I kiss down his nose... his lips... over his beauty marks. Then I move down his neck, over his adam’s apple and to his tattoo. I run my tongue over the words and kiss lower. I see his hands are clenched so I kiss over his fist. He loosens it and I kiss his palm. “I’m here...” I whisper. I position myself over his cock and take his hands in mine. I put them right under my breasts and he keeps his eyes on me. “Just touch me please.” I beg. He nods his head and I take his cock in hand. I smear the pre-cum over his head then slowly run it over my lips. His eyes flutter and he grips onto me. I slowly put him at my entrance and he lifts his hips up. He sinks inside me and I gasp.

“I’m sorry...” he says. I shake my head and lower myself further onto him. I moan as he fills me and move my hips slightly so I’m more comfortable. “Good?” he asks. 

“Yes.” his hands move lower and grab my hips. He helps me move and soon he’s pounding into me. I shut my eyes and try to keep my hands on his torso for balance. I dig my nails into his skin as he moves faster and sigh. “Are you okay?” I ask. 

“Fantastic.” he mutters. He keeps me balanced and soon his movements become erratic. “Touch yourself.” he commands. I do as I’m told and start rubbing my clit. I gasp at both feelings and he groans. “Faster.” he says. I rub faster and soon I can feel myself coming. 

“I’m... I’m...”

“I know lamb...” and he pushes my hips down, hard. I cum fast and hard and he follows after me. He keeps me pressed to him and I lay over him. He kisses the top of my head and wraps his arms around me. I move my hips to get him out of me but he keeps me in place. “No... just... stay like this...” he whispers. “Just... let me... feel this...” I nod my head and sigh. 

“Okay.” I shut my eyes and he holds me to him tightly. He’s... savoring this. I feel tears swell in my eyes and they fall to his chest. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks. “Did I hurt you?”

“...no.” I whisper. He pulls out of me and sits us up. “No, don’t. It’s okay ju-”

“What’s wrong?” he asks again. He captures a few tears on his thumbs and I smile. 

“You’re savoring this...” I answer. “You’re... engraving this into your memory because we’re going to be apart...” I cry. 

“Oh lamb...” he kisses my forehead. I lay my head on his shoulder and he sighs. “It’s going to be okay...” I shake my head and cry. “Yes, it is.” he says. “We’re going to be fine...” I cry into his neck and he rubs my back. “Please don’t cry Rey...” he whispers. 

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry it’s just... hard.”

“I know love... I know it is...” he holds me to him and lays back down. He rolls us over on our sides and sighs. “And it’s just going to get harder...” I put my forehead to his chest and try to breathe. “But... it’s going to be worth it. I promise.” he pets my head and kisses the top of my head. “You believe me... don’t you?”

“...yes. But that doesn’t make it easier Ben...”

“I know... I know...” he holds me tight and lets me cry. 

Soon nothing comes out except for whimpers and I rub my eyes. He runs his hands over my back and I smile. He’s so good to me...

I shut my eyes and feel the covers go over us. I cuddle as close as I can get to him and I hear the smile in his voice as he speaks. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too...” and I shut my eyes and try my hardest to go to sleep. 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for Thursdays!   
> I was hoping to update this along with another fic but this week has been stressful, so I haven't had much time to write.

Chapter Twenty-Four- 

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I type away at my keyboard and try to figure out the plan. I need to prepare my lamb for release. She’ll... be lost. And she’ll need a clear cut path. I know a few things already. I’ll let her go somewhere miles from here. Make it look like she was taken far away and not on the other side of the city. She’ll know what to say. No names, not mine, or Hux’s or Snoke’s. She’ll say the man who took her never said his name. That he kept her somewhere away from everything. I’ll put her back in the clothes I picked her up in so they won’t be able to track the clothes I bought her. I’ll make sure I don’t touch her that day... which is going to be hard. I won’t be able to kiss her... or hug her goodbye. And... I won’t be able to make love to her... for... at least a week before hand. Just in case. 

I put my head in my hands a moment and sigh. 

I don’t want to do this but I know it’s for the best. We’ll be happy. She’ll move in with me or I could get that bigger home I’ve been thinking about. Get married. Have kids, grow old with each other...

I feel her hands on my shoulders. I take my face from my hands and turn to look at her. She smiles down at me then kisses my cheek. She rubs my shoulders a moment then walks into the living room. I watch as she sits on the couch pushes play on the movie. I smile slightly and sigh. 

I know nothing is set in stone... that things can go differently when I set her free but... I have to trust in her. Just like she trusts in me. We’ll get through this... 

I leave my work and go to her. I throw my arm around her and she lays her head to my chest. I smile as she sighs in comfort and bring her closer. 

“Almost have it figured out?” she asks. 

“Yeah... just a few more things to think of.”

“Like?”

“Like... what exactly you’re going to tell the police. Where you were dropped off, how far you walked... so on.”

“What are the answers?”

“I don’t know yet... I’ll figure it out.” I squeeze her shoulder and sigh. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll make sure everything is taken care of.” 

“Okay...” I lay my head on hers and we pay attention to the movie for a few minutes. “Ben?” she asks. 

“Yes?”

“Exactly how long... will we be apart?” she asks. 

“Lamb...”

“Please just tell me...”

“At least six months...” she pulls away from me and gets off the couch. 

“What?”

“Lam-”

“Six months?! You said a few!” she yells. 

“Calm down.” I say. 

“Calm down?!” she yells. “That’s not a few months! That's half a year!”

“Don’t you think it’ll look suspicious if you get a boyfriend a couple months afterward?” I ask. “Six months... is what I am assuming is my limit.”

“Your limit? She asks. “What about my limit?!”

“Rey, you ca-”

“I am a part of this too you know! I’m going to be the one who’s getting questioned and prodded about what has happened!” she sighs. “They’re going to want to send me therapy. Because I’m going to be so out of touch. And they won’t be able to help me because I won’t want to helped!” I stay quiet and let her speak. “How... how can you... I don’t understand how you can give me up!” she cries. 

“I’m not giving you up.” I say. 

“Yes, you are.”

“No... I’m not.” 

“Yes! You’re leaving me! You’re leaving me!”

“No I’m not!” I yell. I get off the couch and stare down at her. “Now you listen to me.” I take her by the shoulders and shake her. She stares up at me with her big brown eyes and I sigh. “I will come for you. I will make sure it’s not a day more than six months. I promise. And you will be fine, you’re a strong woman and you will know what to say. You’ll get passed whatever they put you through.” I say. “Now, stop yelling... and calm down. Okay?”

“Okay...” she nods her head and I loosen my grip on her shoulders. “I hate this...” she whispers. 

“I know you do... but... it’s necessary.” she sniffles and sighs. 

“I don’t think it is... I don’t. It doesn’t make sense...”

“Yes it does. You just can’t see it yet.” 

“...I don’t think I will.”

“You will lamb. In time.” I pull her to me and gather her in my arms. She puts her head to my chest and sighs. 

“I’m going crazy...”

“No, you’re not... you’re just upset. And it’s fine. We’ll get passed this.” I keep her to me and sigh. 

I have to tell myself the same thing... over and over again in my head...

It’s becoming easier for me... so it’ll become easier for her too...

\--

I keep my head on lamb’s chest while she sleeps. I listen to the sound of her heartbeat and let it soothe me. The month is almost up... and it scares me. I only have a short time left with my lamb. I hold on to her tight and shut my eyes. I don’t want to think about being away from her... but... it’s hard. It’s all we ever talk about now... being apart. It is scary and I know why she’s upset... I am too. It feels like there’s a bomb inside my chest. And in a couple months-time, it’ll explode. 

I shut my eyes tighter and breathe in. I know... I know it’s going to be okay. It has to be...

\--

I keep my eyes shut like lamb asked me to and stay sitting at the dining room table. I hear her move around the kitchen a few minutes then she sets something on the table in front of me. I sigh and I hear her speak. 

“Okay... open.” I do as she asks and open my eyes. In front of me is a cheesecake with caramel on top, with a single candle in the middle. I smile and look up at her. She smiles back and moves back and forth on her feet. 

“Happy birthday.” she says. 

“How...”

“I may have snooped through your wallet.” she says. “I just... wanted to know when it was before I left and... I’m glad I looked. Because it was so close.” I was wondering why she wanted cream cheese. She doesn’t really care for it unless it’s in a cheesecake. “And... it’s your favorite.” she says. I smile. 

“It is.” I go to get up from my seat but she holds up her hand. 

“No. Stay.” she says. I watch as she fishes a lighter from her pocket and lights the candle. She switches off the lights and starts to sing. I keep my eye on her as she does, she looks into my eyes and I want nothing more than to pull her onto the table and fuck her senseless. She found out my birthday... made me my favorite desert... she’s everything. Simply everything. When she’s done singing I blow out the candle and actually make a wish. In hopes it’ll come true...

_I wish for_ _Rey_ _and I to get through this..._

She switches the lights back on and comes over to me. I stand and quickly capture her lips with mine. She gasps and I push her against the table. She automatically sits and I lay her down. I keep kissing her and I hold her face with my hand. She ends the kiss and smiles up at me. 

“Don’t you want your surprise?” she asks. 

“I do.” I answer. “But, I want you more.” and I kiss her again. She puts her hands to my face and pushes it away. “Lamb...”

“Let’s at least move it. I don’t want cheesecake in my hair.” she says with a laugh. 

“Okay.” I get off her and get the cheesecake. I place it in the fridge and return to her. She bites her bottom lip and quickly push her shirt up over her head. I lean over her again and she giggles. I kiss her lips, then down her throat and to her chest. She whimpers as I run my tongue over her skin and I plant a kiss right in between her breasts. I feel her hands in my hair and sigh at the feeling of her pulling slightly. I lay my head on her chest a moment and watch her breast move as she breathes. I smile and shut my eyes...

She was right before... about me savoring this...

How could I not? I’m going to be away from her for what seems like forever. 

I open my eyes again and look up at her. She’s staring down at me so I smile then continue to trail kisses down her body. Her fingers stay on me and I sigh as get to her pants. I slip them off her legs along with her panties and throw them to the side. I push my pants and underwear down and get in-between her legs. I watch as she bites her bottom lip and I slowly push myself into her. She sighs as I do and I put my hands to her face. She looks into my eyes and I slowly start moving my hips. She grips onto my shoulders and I watch as her mouth parts as she breathes. I start kissing her neck again and she moans as I suck her pulse point. She moans and I move my hips faster.

She grips onto my shoulders and I groan as her nails dig into my skin. She brings me closer to her and I move my hips in a circular motion. She gasps and I feel her clench around me. I put my face to the crook of her neck and loose myself. 

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

I sit in the bath with Ben and sigh as I run my soapy hands through his hair. He's between my legs and I’m taking my time washing him. He groans happily as I scrape my fingernails over his scalp and I smile. I continue with his hair a moment, making him sigh. I begin to rinse his hair and once it’s done, I lay my head on top of his. I close my eyes and massage his thighs. He moves slightly and lays his head back to my chest. I kiss his forehead and he smiles up at me. 

“Bed?” he asks. 

“Yeah.” I take my arms off him and he gets out of the tub. I stand up and watch as he grabs a towel. He comes over to me, holds out his hand and helps me out. He wraps the towel around my shoulders and starts to dry me. I smile as he rubs the towel over my body then drops the towel. He grabs another one and dries himself before he unclogs the tub. He smiles at me and we walk to the bedroom. I put on a pair of pajamas and he does the same. I get into our bed and he gets in after me. I wait until he’s comfortable then put my head to his chest. I close my eyes and he switches off the bedside lamp. 

“Thank you for today.” he says. 

“You’re welcome. I’m... sorry I couldn’t do more.” 

“It was perfect.” he holds me close and I smile. He rubs my side as he drifts off to sleep and I sigh. When I’m free... I could throw him a party... get him a gift... not just bake him something. It would be nice and the thought of being able to do things with him... makes me happy. And... kind of happy he’s letting me go. We could have a happy little life together...

I smile at the thought. A life... a real life... 

It’s hard to imagine being away from him, but being able to see everyone again, makes me happy. I shut my eyes and drift off to sleep, thinking of our future together. 

\--

I wake up to Ben gently kissing my lips. I smile and kiss him back. I open my eyes and see his smiling face. 

“Good morning my love.”

“Morning.”

“I have an early appointment so there’s no real time for me to cook. But, I was thinking...”

“Of?”

“Cheesecake for breakfast.” he says with a smile. I smile back and giggle.

“If you want.”

“Will you have some with me?” he asks. 

“Yes...” he gets off the bed and I watch as he exits the bedroom. I hear his footsteps go down the hall and I sigh as I hear his voice. 

“Come on lamb!” 

“Coming!” I yell back. I get out of bed, rub the sleep from my eyes and head to the kitchen. 

As I get there I see he’s already cut us slices. I sit in my spot and he pushes the plate in front of me. I smile as he hands me a fork and sits next to me. I watch as he digs into his “breakfast” and laugh. He looks over at me and sighs. 

“What?” he asks. 

“Nothing... you seem happy.”

“I am.” he says. “I’m having cheesecake for breakfast... I woke up next to you... it’s a good morning.” he says with a smile. I lean over and kiss his cheek. 

“It is a good morning.” I whisper. I pick up some cheesecake on my fork and eat it. It’s good, and I’m glad he’s enjoyed it so far. I was going to make him an actual birthday cake... but since this is his favorite... I thought it would be fitting. After our “breakfast” is done with, I put the plates in the sink. I watch as he goes to his desk a moment and works for a moment before he grabs his coat and heads to the kitchen door. He turns to me and holds out his arm. I go into them and put my head to his chest. I close my eyes and smile. 

“I’ll be home soon.” he says. 

“Okay.” he kisses the top of my head and when I look up; he kisses my lips. I smile up at him and he kisses my lips again. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” he lets me go and exits the house. I listen as he pulls out of the garage and sigh. He’ll be gone until around five-thirty... 

I quickly wash the plates and forks, dry them and put them away. I head into the living room and look at the document he left open. It’s the plan. When he’s going to let me go... how... where. I scroll through it and lay my head on his desk. It’s the end of January now... which means... I have two months left with him... 

That’s not a lot of time... at all. 

I have to keep reminding myself... it’ll be worth it. Hurting will be worth it. I’ll see him again... I’ll be with Ben. I take a deep breath and read through the plan again. I still have conflicting emotions. One minute I’m happy... the next sad. It’s all so complicated. I get out of his chair and head to the couch. I lay down but keep the TV off. I just stare at the black screen and sigh. I wish this was easier...

\--

 I keep my eye on Ben as he reads and smile. It’s a quiet night and we’re both nestled on the couch. I’m supposed to be reading but I can’t keep my eyes off him. He flips through the pages and I watch as his eyes dart across the words. He straightens his glasses and looks up at me. He smiles and I smile back. 

“What?” he asks. 

“Nothing, just watching you.” he chuckles. 

“Why?”

“Because I can.” he puts down his book and I sigh. “Because I love you.” 

“I love you too.” he lays across the couch and my legs. He puts his head on my lap and I smile. I put my hands to his hair and run my fingers through it. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I love you so much...” 

I keep my hands in his hair and sigh. I’m going to miss this... 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter twenty-five, only one more to go after this!   
> Prepare your tissues people!

Chapter Twenty-Five-

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

Two Months Later

\--

I keep my eyes on Ben as he prints out the plan. He’s going to release me next week. So I have to start memorizing what to say and do. He holds his hand under the paper as it comes out of the printer and comes over to me. He sits next to me on the couch and hands me the paper. I look it over a moment and lay my head on his shoulder. He sighs and takes the paper from me. 

“Okay...” he starts. “Do you know the name of your captor?” he asks. 

“No... he never said his name.”

“Can you describe him to us?”

“He had blonde hair... green eyes... he was tall. Normal looking face.” 

“Good. Now, can you tell us what he did to you?” I hesitate and sigh. 

“He... r... r... took advantage of me...”

“You need to use the word.”

“Ben-”

“You need to use the word.” he says again. 

“...he raped me.” I whisper. 

“Okay... did you see anyone else while you were held?” he asks. 

“No... only him.”

“Were you in a house? An apartment?”

“I was in a basement.”

“Did he feed you?”

“Yes.”

“How often?”

“Multiple times if I was good...”

“Good answer. Alright... can you tell us where he dropped you off at?”

“...no. Everything’s... blurry.”

“Street names? Buildings? Anything?”

“I don’t remember...” I say. “I just remember...” and I trail off. “What if no one calls the cops?” I ask. “What if no one cares enough to?”

“Someone will. You’re a beautiful young woman, looking for help. Someone will help you. Now... can you tell us anything else about him?” he asks. 

“No.”

“Did he have any tattoos? Piercings? Markings of any kind?”

“None that I ever saw.”

“Good...” he reads the paper and sighs. “Did you ever change clothes? Did he make you wear anything besides this?”

“No... just this...” 

“I’ve dirtied your clothes more, they should be good by next week.”

“Okay...”

“Um... did he let you bathe or shower?”

“Yes... if I was good.”

“Define, good, for me.” he says. 

“Um... if I did what he said... without screaming... or fighting him... I would be treated well.”

“And you were good Rey?” he asks. I look up at him and see he has a stern look on his face. I kiss his neck and he sighs. “Lamb...”

“Am I good?” I ask. “Am I good Ben?”

“Yes, you are. Now tell the police that.”

“... I was good.”

“There’s no bruising on you. No scars. You must have been very good.” I nod my head. 

“I... didn’t want him to hurt me... so I just... did what he said.”

“It would be best if cried.” he tells me. “More believable that way. You need to act abused.”

“Okay.” I say. “I’ll cry.” he rubs my leg through my pants and I sigh. “How much more?” I ask. 

“Just a few more questions then... we have to talk.”

“About?”

“About the next week.”

“...okay.” 

“Next... are you sure he never said his name? Did he make you call him anything? Baby, daddy... anything like that?” he asks. I shake my head. 

“No... he never said to call him anything...”

“Good. Last question... can we do a rape kit?” I sigh and nod my head. 

“...yes.”

“Good girl.” and he puts the paper down. He turns to me and squeezes my leg. “You’ll do fine. I’m sure of it.” I lay my head on his shoulder again and close my eyes. 

“I hope so.”

“I know so.” he says back. We stay quiet for a few moments then he sighs. “Now... about this week...” he begins. “... we have to keep...” and he pauses. “We can’t have sex.” I take my head from his shoulder and sit back slightly. 

“...why?”

“Because, they will do a rape kit on you to try and find DNA.”

“You can wear a condom.” I say. 

“Yes, but I don’t want any chance of something of mine getting on you. Sperm, hair, anything. It’s not safe.”

“But... we’re going to be apart... for so long.” I say. “I need... I need...”

“I know... tonight...” he holds onto my leg and I flinch away from his touch. “Don’t, do that.” he says. “Tonight... will be our last time. Until we’re back together.”

“What if I don’t want you tonight?” I spit back. 

“That’s fine.” he says. I shut my eyes and put my hands to my face. “Lamb... it’s just a precaution... a necessary one. You think I’m happy to not touch you for over a week?” he asks. I shake my head. “Exactly. We are together on this lamb. We need to be on the same page.”

“It’s hard when you keep changing it.” I cry. 

“I know... but it’s for the best.” I feel his arm wrap around me and I let out a ragged breath. “Everything will be okay lamb. I promise...”

\--

I lay in bed and watch as Ben changes into his pajamas. He turns to me, switches off the light and slips in-between the covers. He turns over on his side and I put my hand to his cheek.

“...I love you.” he smiles. 

“I love you too lamb.” He leans closer and captures my lips with his. Tears threaten to leave my eyes but I blink them away and kiss him back. His arm goes over my waist and pulls me closer to him. I deepen our kiss and roll him over onto his back. I straddle his hips, and put my hands to his chest. “Are you sure?” He asks. “Aren’t you mad with me?”

“I am.” I say as I nod my head. “But… I want you…” I lean down kiss the tip of his nose and he sighs. “Please.” I whisper. 

“Come here.” He says. I lay myself on top of him and his hands go to my backside. He presses me down and I wiggle my hips. He groans and his hands begin to kneed my ass. “Just be my good girl...” he whispers against my lips. He kisses me again and rolls me over onto my back. “Like this.” he says. I nod my head and he slips the covers off us. He begins to take down his pajama pants and I do the same. I get naked and wait for him to slip a condom on. I run my hand over my left breast and close my eyes. This is the last time... for a long while... 

I feel his hand on my waist and I open my eyes. He looks down at me and smiles. I smile back and he climbs over me. I put my hands to his shoulders and he puts his forehead to mine. I feel his cock move against my thigh and I close my eyes. He begins to kiss my face and I savor the feeling of his lips. One if his hands reaches in-between us and finds my clit. I gasp as he starts a steady back and forth motion and he chuckles. 

“I am going to miss this... you...”

“I’m going to miss you too...” I feel his cock harden more and I rub his shoulders. Ben takes his cock in hand and presses it against my opening. I sigh as he slowly guides himself in and grip onto him. He moves his hips and sinks deeper. I shut my eyes tighter and he starts a steady pace. I moan as he thumbs my clit and throw my head back into the pillow. He rubs my clit as he moves and I drop my hands lover. I clutch onto his hips and press him closer to me. “Please...” he moves his hips back and quickly enters me again. I groan and he ends the steady pace. “Yes... god yes...” he sits up slightly, grabs onto my hips and begins to really move. “Faster please...” he does as I say and I cry out as he begins to play with my clit again. “Ben!” I cry out. And... I orgasm. For... the last time.

\--

One Week Later

\--

I look around the house and try to memorize every little detail. The color of the walls, the sound of the fan going in the corner. The way the TV makes a slight hum as Ben turns it off. He touches my back with his hand and I stay where I am as he walks into the kitchen. I blink away my tears and grip onto the couch. This are my last moments here... and... I’m scared. 

“Lamb. Come on now.” I close my eyes and let a sob exit my throat. “Oh Rey...” I hear him walk over to me and he snakes his arms around me. “It’ll be alright. In six or so months' time we can sit here like always. We’ll be together soon, I promise.”

“I don’t want to go...” I cry as I hold onto his hands. 

“I know... and I don’t want you to go either. But... you have to. We, have to do this. It’s the only way.” he pulls me to his chest and puts his head on mine. “Now... take one last look... and come to the car.”  and his arms leave me. I put a hand over my mouth and listen to his footsteps go further away. I open my eyes and look around me. I nod my head and take out the note I’ve been hiding from Ben. I look at the cursive writing and softly kiss the folded paper. I put it next to his desk and hope he’ll find it there. I slip on the pair of black heels I wore to the party a year ago and exit the kitchen. 

I go into the garage and watch as Ben opens the passenger side door for me. I get in, put on my seatbelt and he shuts the door. He goes around the front of the car, gets into the driver’s side and looks over to me. He picks up a baseball cap off the dashboard and hands it to me. 

“On we go lamb.” I put it on and he smiles. “Good girl.” he buckles up and turns on the car. Suddenly the garage door opens I close my eyes a moment as we begin to move. Once I feel us go slightly down-hill I open my eyes. I see the house. The exterior of it. For the first time. White walls and a grey roof. 2206 is the address. He straightens the car in the road and turns to me. “Ready?” he asks. 

“No... but let’s go.” he nods his head and drives off. I look back at the house then straight ahead. I look at the street name as we pull up to a stop sign and see we’re on Fowler Lane. 

2206 Fowler Lane... that’s where Ben lives... where  _we_ live...

\--

My breathing becomes slightly erratic as we get closer and closer to the city. He’s going to drop me off in a parking garage. One that has unreliable security and it’s far enough away from the high way so there’s less traffic. I clutch onto Ben’s hand and he smiles over at me. 

“Everything’s fine.” he promises. “Just... stay calm and collected. You can do this.” I nod my head and we pull off the main highway. I hold his hand tighter and he pulls onto another street. He drives for maybe a half-hour and then I see a parking garage sign. I close my eyes and he pulls inside. He quickly throws on his gloves, puts a five-dollar bill into the machine and takes the ticket. He find a spot near the back and parks. I undo my belt and he puts his hand to the back of my head. 

“What now?” I ask. 

“Now...” he begins. “...we wait a few minutes. I’ll get you ready, then I’ll exit the parking garage. Then...when the coast is clear... you can go.”

“...okay.” I look out the window and take a deep breath. “Be-” and I feel something stick me in the neck. “Wha-” I turn my head slightly and see a syringe in his hands. “Be..n...” and everything begins to blur. 

“I love you Rey...” and everything goes black. 

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

I stare at my lamb’s motionless body and take the needle from her neck. I put it back inside the console and get out of the car. I go around to her side, take the hat from her head and throw it under the seat. I lift her from the car and walk with her a few feet. I place her in front of a nice-looking Mercedes and brush some hair over her face. I move her arms in a more comfortable position and step away. I know someone will call for help. This is a low crime part of the city so she’ll be safe. And... I know the security guard will be making his rounds in ten minutes. I take one last glance at her and walk away. I lock my car, and make my way to the exit. I throw my hood up, and walk across the street. 

\--

I look across the street and watch as the final cop car exits the area. They took Rey. I saw an ambulance leave a few minutes ago and I know she’s on her way to a hospital nearby. I walk down the street a while and go into a small shop. I pick up a necklace mom might like and pretend to look around. 

“Did you see all the cops? I overheard that they found some hooker dead in the garage.” says one of the store clerks. 

“No, I heard from Max, the security guy; that she was alive.” I go up to the register and the first lady rings me up without looking my way. 

“That’ll be fifteen eighty-five.” she says. “Yeah, well if you ask me, it’s probably better if she was dead. I mean, come on. With all the shit going around lately. Poor honey is going to have a tough time getting back on the streets.” I take the small plastic bag from her and she mutters some goodbye. I exit the shop and go back to the parking garage. As I walk to my car, I see the remnants of police tape. I get into my car, put the bag into the passenger seat and pull out of the parking spot. I head out and make my way home.

\--

Once I’m inside my house I kick off my shoes and open the fridge door. I get the leftover chili that we made together and stuff it into the microwave. As it warms up, I head into the living room and check my email. Nothing. I set my phone down, find the charger and plug it in so it’ll charge while I eat. But as I got to turn away, I see a folded piece of paper with my name on it; by tucked under the keyboard. I pick it up and unfold it. 

_Ben_

_I know you say everything is going to be okay... and I believe you. But that doesn’t make it any easier, on either of us. I know this is going to be a long, hard journey and I understand why you think it’s necessary._

_You want us to have a normal life together…_

_And some part of me wants that too, every part actually. And… I_ _cannot_ _wait for our life to begin again._

_I just wanted to write you to say that, there’s nothing in this world that’s going to keep me away from you. In six months... we’ll be together again and all will be right with the world. But, until then... all I really have to say is..._

_I_ _’ll be counting down the minutes until I can have you in my arms again…_

_I love you._

_I’ll always love you. And... I’ll be waiting._

_Your lamb_

I slump onto the ground and hold the note to my chest. I put my head on the carpet and cry into the softness. She’s gone... my lamb is gone...

\--

I lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling. Lamb’s not here. She’s gone. I’m alone. 

I stare into nothing and something prickles at the back of my mind. 

What if she doesn’t want me after she’s been gone?

What if she prefers her old life?

What if she finds someone else before me?!

I shake my head and gather some hair into my hands. I begin to pull but I stop as I hear lamb’s voice. 

_Don’t... please don’t hurt yourself._

I let go of my hair and turn over on my side. I look at the pillow I have next to me and sigh. I get out of bed, go to the dresser and get one of her pajama shirts out. I go back to the bed, put it on the pillow and lay back down. I put my face to the fabric and sigh as her scent radiates through me. This... this will do...

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

I try to keep my eyes open as a nurse explains where I am. I just nod my head and shut my eyes. I’m so tired...

When I wake up again, I hear crying. I can’t open my eyes though, it feels like when Snoke drugged me except instead of not being able to shut my eyes... I can’t keep them open. I wince at the light and feel someone take hold of my hand. 

“I’s alright...” I hear. “Everything’s going to be okay now.”

Rose...?

\--

I look around at the faces before me and let the tears fall. Rose is here with Finn. And so is everyone else. 

I cry as Rose hugs me and she holds onto me so tight I think I might split in two. I hug her back and she cries with me. She cries about how she knew I was alive and how she knew I would be found one day. That no matter the percentages she knew I was okay. I just nod my head and listen to her. It’s so nice to hear her voice and everyone else's too. But... there is one voice I’m missing. 

Ben’s... 

Rose holds me at arm's length and I sigh as I see her tears again. 

“I love you...” she whispers. 

“I love you too.” Finn rubs her back and I smile. He’s always been so good to her. 

“H-how...” I shake my head and put my hands to hers. 

“I don’t want to talk about that... I...” I look out of my room window and see the police standing there. “I... I only want to go through that once...” she looks the way I am then turns back to me. 

“...okay.”

“Miss, are you ready now?” asks a  policeman. I look over at Rose and nod my head. 

“...yes.” I smile as Rose rubs her thumb over my knuckles. She doesn’t want to leave...

“Okay...” she says. “We’re renting a room across the street. So, if you need us just call. We’ll be right over. The nurse has Finn and my phone number. So just tell her and we’ll be over here in a flash.” I smile. “Also I told Jyn to get you some clothes and everything else so she’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Okay...” she leans over, kisses my forehead and smiles down at me. 

“I love you Rey.”

“I love you too...” Finn does the same and I watch as they leave my room. The policeman comes in with another and I sigh. Ben said to keep calm... to cry... to be genuine...

I can do that... for him... for us... 

\--

I watch the TV chef throw the secret ingredient into a large tub and smile. Ben loves this show. I keep my eyes on the television and when Rose reaches for the remote I yell. 

“No!” she drops the remote and I pick it up. I clutch it to my chest and close my eyes. Ben loves this show... he loves it. He would want to watch it, so I have to watch it! 

“Okay... Rey it’s alright. I'm sorry.” she cries. “I’m so sorry...” she puts her arms around me and I cry too. But... I cry because... I miss Ben... “Hon, I’m so sorry...” I cry into her shoulder and look up at the TV.

I miss Ben...

I just miss Ben... 


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, here is the last chapter!  
> I am super emotional right now! My babies!!  
> Thank you all so much for reading, for the kudos, and all of the lovely comments!  
> \--  
> ALSO... if you have not read MissFieryHeart 's fic; You are not alone... you NEED to!  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/16940232  
> It is based of LTS (her idea on what could have happened in the six months Ben and Rey were separated) and OH MY GOSH, I love it! It's a great little bit of smut and feels that I myself wish I would have thought of! <3  
> Thank you again dear for the gift!!

Chapter Twenty-Six-

\--

**Rey’s POV**

\--

Two Months After Release 

\--

I put my knees up to my chest and lay my head on my knees while my therapist Dr. Holdo takes her own seat. She puts her notebook in her lap and smiles at me. 

“So, Rey. How has the last week been for you?” she asks.

“Fine.”

“Are you sure?” she asks. “Your eyes are red and swollen.” I turn away from her and she sighs. “You have to be honest with me if we hope to get anywhere.” 

“...I know.” 

“Then...” I take a deep breath and nod my head. 

“This morning... I woke up screaming....” I admit. “I... thought I heard him... I thought he was with me...”

_…_

_I feel Ben’s arms around me. He’s holding me to his chest, I can see his tattoo peeking from under his muscle shirt. I run my finger over the lines and smile. He’s here..._

_I inch closer to him and put my forehead to him._

_“Good lamb.” he whispers. I smile and he holds me tighter._

_I go to look at his face but... he doesn’t have one. His face is blank... no eyes... no mouth... nothing but skin..._

_..._

_I wake up screaming and I cover my face with my hands. Rose rushes into my room and gets on the bed with me. She holds me to her and I cry._

_“It’s okay... it’s okay.” she soothes me. “You’re okay, you’re home...” I hear her cry too and I wrap my arms around her. “It’s okay Rey.”_

_It’s not okay though... it’s not. I want Ben! I want Ben!_

_…_

“Nightmares are a normal occurrence. Your subconscious-” 

“I know.” I but in. “...but... at that moment... it feels real. It’s feels like I’m back... with him.”

“But, you’re not.” she says. “You’re safe now. You’re in no danger from him.”

I want to be with him... I want to be with my Ben...

But I can’t say that... I need to pretend like I’m still afraid... that I... hate him. But... I don’t. 

“I... I don’t know how to...” I trail off and she writes something on her notepad. “...live?” I ask. “Is that the word? I-I mean I know how to but... he’s still... right here.” I say while putting my hand to my chest. 

“It makes perfect sense. You were held captive for little over a year Rey. He became the only constant.” I nod my head. Ben was the constant... my only constant... “Rey?” she asks. 

“Yes?”

“... do you miss him?”

“...no.” I mutter. She eyes me and I look away from her. I shut my eyes and she sighs. 

“It’s alright if you do.” I nod my head and wipe my tears away with my hand. “You were with the man for over a year... it is normal to become attached to your captors. Stockholm syndrome is a very serious mental condition. And, it effects many people, even after release. If it comes to that.”

“I know...”

“So... we’ll work on that.” she writes something down and I sigh. 

I don’t want to work on missing him... 

Thinking of him... is what’s keeping me sane... 

\--

**Ben’s POV**

\--

Four Months After Release 

\--

I watch from across the street as lamb and Rose exit the apartment complex. I wait a few minutes and follow behind them. I know I shouldn’t be doing this... but I needed to see her. And... stalking Rose’s instagram wasn’t enough. I needed to see her, in the flesh. I smile as the head into a diner and I go across the street. I place myself on a bus bench and take out my phone. I pretend to flip through it and look to lamb. She’s smiling. She’s... happy. Which... is great. It hurts though too. Some part of me wanted her to be a shell of her former self... to not survive without me. But.... it is nice to see her so happy. It’s almost like when I first started to follow her.

Two of her other friends head into the diner and I watch as lamb gets up and hugs them both. She slides into the same booth as Rose and I swear I can hear her laugh. I miss that laugh... her voice... her...

I watch as a waitress goes to the table and actually look at my phone. I know what she’s going to order... I know that after this she’s going to go back to her apartment. Rose will walk her back, leave then her boyfriend Finn will come back from work and be with Rey. I know this... I can leave... I can go home and know that she’ll be okay. But... I can’t make myself move. 

Forty minutes later, they exit the diner. They all start saying their goodbyes and hug each other. I stay where I am and peek over the top of my phone to see Rey... with her eyes... locked on mine. I see her take a step forward and I quickly shake my head. This was a mistake... I know I shouldn’t have come! She keeps her eyes on me and I smile. I want her... I want to run to her... but I know I can’t...

As a bus parks in front of me, I get the idea to run. I quickly get off the bench and rush down the sidewalk. I hurry to where I parked my car and hope she didn’t notice which way I went. I get into my car and quickly start it. I need to get away, I need to get away from my lamb... 

I pull out into the street and head downwards. Which, is not ideal. That’s the way I came from but... it is a one-way street, so I don’t have much of a choice. I move steadily along and soon, I reach a stop sign. And there... is lamb again. She’s crossing the street, arms linked with Rose as always. Her brunette hair slightly blowing in the wind. But... she’s not smiling like she was before. Now there’s a frown covering her face. I want to hurt whoever made her unhappy but... the more I think about it... 

...it was me. I made her unhappy. She saw me... and... she wanted to come to me. But... I disappeared...

I turn my head away and drive on. She can’t see me again... she won’t see me again...

I can wait...

\--

Five Months After Release 

\--

_…_

_She’s here... my lamb is here._

_She runs her fingers through my hair and lightly kisses my lips. She smiles up at me and I lift her so her legs are wrapped around my waist. She puts her head to my shoulder and kisses my neck._

_“I love you...”_

_“I love you too lamb...”_

_…_

My eyes flash open and I see it’s dark. 

I’m in my bedroom... alone...

I’m clutching onto the pillow with Rey’s shirt on it. 

I shut my eyes and cry. I want her... I need her... I want her... I need her! I smother my face into the softness and breathe in her scent. One more month... just one and I can be with her again. 

“Just one more...” I whisper into the pillow. “Just one more...” 

\--

I hear my cell ping alive inside my pants pocket, so I get it out and check who it is. It’s my ‘friend’ from work, Mitaka. 

**Hey man, you want to get drinks tonight? Me and a couple other guys from the main office are heading out to McNally’s.**

I should go out...

_Sure... what time?_

**Ten. It's also ladies' night so there’s going to be a ton of chicks there.**

_Sounds great... I'll meet you there. Later._

He messages back a smiley face and beer bottles. I roll my eyes and throw the phone to the side. I don’t want to go out... but I know I need to. If I don’t... I’ll obsess over what lamb is doing. And, I know it’s not healthy. Going out will do me some good. I have no interest in getting laid like the others or even getting drunk. But, spending time with others will be nice. I won’t be stuck here with my memories of Rey. 

\--

Rey’s POV

\--

I sigh as Rose pokes my face with the mascara container. I shoo her away and take it from her. I uncap it and add yet another layer on my lashes. I look at myself in the mirror and smile. We’re going out tonight. For the third time this week. Rose and the others are determined to make me happy. I will admit, I love going out with them. But... I’m just tired. I... I’m done...

I put the tube in Rose’s ‘at home’ make-up bag and head out of the bathroom. I force a smile onto my face as Rose and Finn turn around and I twirl around in my dress. They both clap and we head out. 

We pile into Finn’s car and he starts to drive to McNally’s. I look down at my phone and make sure to turn up my ringer. Rose and the others won’t leave me alone but... still. Just in case. 

Fifteen minutes later we park outside the bar and we get out. I smile as Finn takes Rose’s hand in hers and they walk in front of me. I’m glad Finn moved in with her when I was gone. She needed someone. It is strange to be living with a couple... but... I’m getting used to it. I follow them into the bar and we go directly to a table. Jyn and Paige should be here soon so Rose goes to order margaritas and a beer for Finn. I smile at Finn and he takes my hand in his. 

“You look good.” he says.  

“Thanks, so do you.” he gets out his phone and I do the same while we wait. 

Once all five of us are squeezed around the table we found we all clink our glasses together. I take a sip of my drink and set it down. I take a bite of the taco in front of me and chew as my friend’s talk. They’re lives went on fine without me... and I’m glad. Paige got a promotion, Jyn found a boyfriend named Cassian...

I wish Ben was here… he would make me feel less… alone… 

I stop myself from thinking about him and take another drink. 

Half way through the night, it’s my turn to get the refills. So, I grab the tray with our glasses on it and take it back to the bar. The bartender nods his head and I wait to be served. I keep my eyes on the glasses in front of me and soon he takes them. I smile and he starts to remake our drinks. But, as he sets the glasses on the tray I see another drink besides Finn’s beer. Its not a margarita…

“Um... that’s not ours.” I say. 

“No, they guy at the end of the bar said it’s for you. Don’t worry, I made it.” oh no... I hate when men try to flirt. I... I don’t want anyone. I only want Ben...

Ben...

The man at the end of the bar is Ben. 

I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face. He’s here... Ben is here! I quickly take the tray back to the table and take my new drink in hand. 

“Rey-” I hear Rose say. I turn to her and sigh.

“Um... I’ll be right back.”

“Are you okay?” asks Jyn. 

“Y-yeah... I'm just going to... talk to someone. He bought me a drink and I’m going to say thank you.”

“Oh...” Rose looks over to the bar and nods her head. “Okay... just be careful. Scream if you need us.” 

“I will.” I laugh.

I walk over to him and take a deep breath. As I get closer, my heart begins to beat faster and faster. He’s here... a month early! He said he wouldn’t be early! But... here he is...

“Hi.” he says. 

“...hi.” I whisper. He holds out his hand and I quickly take it. “I’m... Rey.”

“I’m Ben...” I keep hold of his hand and close my eyes. He’s here... he’s really here. Not when I imagined him time and time before. I imagined he was always there... watching me... I thought I saw him so many times...

 I open my eyes and he squeezes my hand. 

“I love you...” the words escape my throat and he smiles.

“I love you too...” he whispers back. He pulls me closer, so I’m presses against his knees and I smile up at him. 

“What are you doing here? It's... early...”

“I’m here with some work friends. I... I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“You didn’t?” I’m shocked... I thought... he’d keep tabs on me... even though he said he wouldn’t... 

“No. And... I couldn’t wait anymore. I thought of leaving but… when I saw you... I knew this was the moment. I’m here... you’re here...” he says. “It’s fate...” I nod my head and he runs his thumb over the top of my hand. “I’m never going to leave you again...” he says. “You’re mine Rey...” 

“Ben...”

“I promise lamb.” I close my eyes at the pet name and I feel tears roll down my face. “I'm here... I’ll always be here...”

And I know he’s telling the truth. 

He’s here... we’re here together... and that’s how it’s meant to be...

Just us...

Forever...

\--

 

 

\--

\--

_** IN TEXT NOTE! ** _

_** \-- ** _

**Well... I don’t feel like giving up on my babies yet! What can I tell ya? I love these crazy kids!**

**So... sequel it is!!**

**I plan to update it sometimes after Christmas** **;** **maybe in the new year; depending on my ability to get a few chapters done.**

**I’m going to be calling it, Slaughter House! And... he’s a smidgen of it...** ;) 

\--

Rey’s POV

\--

There’s blood, it’s pooled around my feet and it’s sprayed across my white wedding lingerie. It's... beautiful...

Ben's arms snake around my waist and pull me to him. I can feel his erection press against the dip in my lower back. I sigh and he kisses my neck. 

“Very good lamb...” he praises. I look down and watch as his own blood covered hand travels upwards and to my breasts. A red trail marks over my abdomen and across the ivory bralette. His silver wedding band glints in the light and I smile. We’re husband and wife now... it’s official. And... the first thing we did? We hunted... we killed... “But, now... I’d like to make love to my wife.” 

“Just a little more?” I ask. 

“No. We can have more fun when we get back from our trip. Let her bleed out.” he says. “We’ll dispose of her in the morning.”

“...fine.” I mutter. 

“Don’t pout. We have a plan and I’d like to keep on it. This...” he says while pointing at the women laid out on the tarp. “...is already off schedule.”

“You enjoyed it...”

“Yes I did. Watching you dig a dagger into flesh does glorious things to me but... play time is over Rey. Let’s go inside.” he kisses my neck once more and I smile. 

“Okay... but I get to pick the next one.” I say. 

“You pickled this one lamb…”

“Yes I did but it’s not the same…” I say. “This was… spontaneous…”

“Hmm… I don’t know….” I look up at him and lift my free hand up to his face. I run my bloody hand over his cheek and his eyes flutter. 

“...please?”  I feel his erection harden behind me and he sighs. 

“Fine.” He lifts me into his arms, bridal style. He spins me around and I drop the knife on the floor. I giggle as he kicks open the door and pushes it back into place before carrying me into the house. I put my head to his shoulder and sigh. 

This is the life... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... there we go!  
> A sequel is already in the works.  
> I know I could have just left this story where it is; but I had plenty more ideas for after Ben and Rey get reunited! So... I decided to keep it going! More sexy fun times, murder and emotions!! ;)  
> Again, thank you all so much for taking an interest in my story! I adore you all!  
> <3


	27. Sequel Posted!

Hello, I'm just here to tell you all that the first chapter of the sequel; Slaughter House, is going to up in a few moments!

If you are interested please head on over and take a read!

If not, well that's fine and I'm happy you enjoyed Lamb to Slaughter!! 

<3 


End file.
